Pulling Away (3 page)

Okay, so he was
too much
for Charlie. Well, maybe Charlie wasn’t enough for him.

Noah lay awake, staring at the ceiling. He’d thought he was tired, but now he couldn’t manage to sleep. Too pumped up from dancing and flirting, he guessed. And a little turned on, as well. Where had he put the butt plug after finally taking it out of the package?

He scrambled off the bed and searched in his bottom dresser drawer. Success! He returned to the bed, lubed up and inserted the plug, and then went to work on his cock. He tried to conjure up some of the hot guys he’d danced with at Buddy’s, but instead the man he thought of as he stroked up 19

PULLING AWAY

and down his length was Charlie.

Noah was angry with himself for it, too. It had the desired affect, though, and as he increased the speed of his hand, his balls tightened, and a tingling spread up his spine.

“I hate you, Charlie,” he groaned as cum splurted from his cock.

* * *

He hadn’t heard from or seen Noah since Thursday night, and it was now Tuesday night at seven.

“Jesus, Noah, I’ve never known you to hold a grudge this long,” he said out loud.

He hadn’t been that surprised when Noah didn’t show up the first night after their fight or whatever it was. Charlie figured he needed a night to get over what an ass Charlie had been.

But nothing Saturday, Sunday or Monday either. And not today.

Charlie pushed away from the computer desk and grabbed up his cell phone. Definitely on and definitely no message. Or missed calls.

He found Noah’s cell number and hit send. It rang two times, three times.

“Hi, this is Noah’s phone. Leave a message.”

“Noah, this is Charlie. Can you call me, please?” He disconnected and threw down the phone.

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PULLING AWAY

He sank onto the couch and turned on the television. He’d lost contact with everyone now. Sly Cat had disappeared.

Charlie figured he’d freaked out when he asked to meet him.

Probably was some old married guy messing around on the computer without his wife knowing.

It hurt a little when Sly Cat stopped talking to him. But really, Noah’s not talking to him hurt more. A lot more.

Worse, he fucked up with Noah, trying to be flippant or whatever it was. But Noah was always there. Always. He should be there now.

Charlie got off the couch, grabbed his house keys and left, heading to Noah’s house. If Noah wouldn’t come to him, he guessed he’d go to him.

Charlie rang the bell. Waited to hear footsteps. Rang the bell again. Over and over. A little obsessively he acknowledged.

No Noah.

He pounded on the door this time. “Noah? Open up.” Charlie’s gut twisted. No lights were on in the house, so he guessed it was possible Noah wasn’t home. But, it was Tuesday. Where would he be on a Tuesday?

He turned away and trekked home, feeling like a giant stupid ass. And he was a little worried, too. What if something bad had happened to Noah?

Charlie realized he didn’t know any of Noah’s friends. He had no one he could call to find out if Noah was all right.

What the fuck was the matter with him? How could he just not know anything about Noah like that?

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PULLING AWAY

When he got inside his house, he picked up his phone again and punched Noah’s number.

“Hello?”

Charlie froze, staring at his cell. That was
not
Noah’s voice.

“Hello?” This time the voice sounded very sing-songy.

“Um, Noah?” Charlie asked.

“Just a sec, hon. Noah! There’s someone calling you, babe.”

Babe?

There was a very lengthy pause and Charlie could swear he heard whispering.

“Charlie?” This time it was definitely Noah.

Relief flowed through him knowing Noah was okay. He wasn’t lying dead in a crashed car or something.

“I…I just wanted to make sure you were all right,” Charlie said, his voice sounding weak and hoarse to his own ears.

“Oh, sure. I’m fine.”

Charlie felt like a damn fool. Getting worked up over what? He sat down. “Good. I’m glad. I hadn’t heard from you so I just wanted to check.”

“Yeah, I’ve just been busy and stuff. How are you, Charlie?”

Noah sounded distant. Charlie didn’t like it one bit. He rubbed his chest. “Fine. Who…who answered your phone?” Noah laughed. “Oh, yeah, that’s my friend Kevin. He’s a little extreme. But he’s harmless.”

“Mostly!” Someone yelled from wherever Noah was.

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PULLING AWAY

“Yeah, mostly,” Noah agreed, laughing again. “Hey, listen, they just arrived with our dinners, so I’ll talk to you later.

Okay?”

Charlie opened his mouth to reply, but realized Noah had already disconnected.

He swallowed heavily, unable to get rid of the painful lump in his throat. He supposed he could call some of his own friends and see them.

Charlie snorted. All of his friends were gone. In the past two years, he’d managed to push them all away. All except Noah. Now he’d even managed that.

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PULLING AWAY

Noah took a large swallow of his coffee and quickly put away his phone. He was well aware Kevin stared at him from across the booth an all too knowing look on his face. Hoping maybe Kevin would drop the subject, he stabbed into his Caesar salad and glanced around the small, dimly lit bistro.

“Who was the guy with the dreamy voice?” Noah sighed. He should have known. “Charlie.”

“Charlie from the neighborhood? The guy you’ve known and wanted all your life?” Kevin smirked. “Don’t tell me you got lucky?”

“Give me a break, huh? We’ve…been together, but things aren’t going well.” He shrugged, trying to pretend it didn’t 24

PULLING AWAY

matter. He took another bite of his salad, chewed, and swallowed. “What about you? Are you still seeing Raphael?” Kevin waved his hand. “Oh, him. No. That’s over. And good riddance, too.”

Noah smiled. “What happened?”

“Too much of a princess. Way too high maintenance.”

“And that was a problem?” Noah murmured.

“You know I have to be the high maintenance one in any relationship.”

Noah laughed. “Yeah, I do.”

Kevin grinned and bit into his hamburger. “Anyway, Raphael is history. So, what’s really up, babe?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re laughing a little too merrily at my lame jokes and clichés,” Kevin said, stuffing a fry into his mouth. “I’d hate to see you become as jaded as me. This Charlie is really getting to you, huh?”

Noah’s heart twisted. “Yeah.”

“Are you in
love
?” Kevin asked a little mockingly.

“So what if I am?”

“Is he?”

“No,” Noah whispered.

* * *

Sure, he knew his parents were buried there. It was why he’d driven ninety minutes from home. But he hadn’t been there since they’d been put in the ground. He didn’t understand 25

PULLING AWAY

people who visited graves as though their loved ones were actually there.

Yet, here he was.

Charlie dropped to his haunches next to their twin graves and set down two bouquets of flowers. Maybe it was part of that thing shrinks called closure.

He didn’t think it was fair he’d lost both his parents when he was only twenty-one. It wasn’t supposed to be that way.

Life sucked sometimes.

Certainly bad stuff happened to other people. He knew that. But did so much have to happen to him?

If God hadn’t taken away his older brother when Charlie was six, he might have had a brother to share the pain with.

Unfortunately, Charlie’s parents had told him that God needed his brother more than they did. Bullshit.

What was that saying about God not giving you more than you could handle? Well, Charlie thought that was bullshit, too.

In a way, staring at their graves made him realize it was real. Not that he had any doubts, really. But seeing the headstones brought it to stark reality.

He was a grown man now and needed to grow up. Needed to stop feeling so sorry for himself all the time. Charlie sure as shit knew that. Easier said than done, though.

Charlie stood and glanced around the quiet graveyard. A few hundred feet away an elderly couple hunched over a headstone. And beyond them a large gathering of people, indicating a funeral was in progress.

Someone touched his arm. Charlie turned around and 26

PULLING AWAY

found himself face-to-face with a very small elderly woman.

She had a humped back and her white hair had been pulled into a tight bun. She had a small bouquet of carnations.

“I haven’t seen you here before,” she said, smiling a little.

She glanced down at his parents’ graves. “You knew Mr. and Mrs. Banks?”

Charlie swallowed. “Yes. I’m…I was their son, Charlie.”

“Oh.” She nodded. “I expect you’re wondering who I am.”

“Yeah.”

The woman bent down and placed the carnations on his mother’s grave. She straightened. “Many years ago now I used to babysit your mother.”

Charlie stared, his stomach dropping. “You did?” She smiled. “It was a long time ago. I was out of the country when you had the funeral, but I’ve been by here a few times since then. Anyway, hearing about her death was quite a shock.” She paused, studying him carefully. “But I suspect you know that.”

Charlie could only nod.

“We didn’t see each other near enough when she was alive, you know. People can be so silly. If you’d only known how little time you had with someone, you’d do things different. Wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah,” Charlie whispered. “Yeah, you would.” She patted his arm. “I’ve taken enough of your time. I’ll leave you to have your time.”

“Thank you for coming to see them,” Charlie managed to say. He watched her walking away until she disappeared from 27

PULLING AWAY

view.

Really, he was wasting time and heartache here. No matter how much he might want to bring the dead back, it wouldn’t happen. And he couldn’t pretend some Internet gamer could be something more than typed words on a computer screen.

He’d lived in the dark alone for too long. What he needed was a live, breathing person. He needed to talk to Noah.

* * *

He glanced at his watch, using the porch light to illuminate it. One in the morning. An early night for Kevin. Noah laughed and turned the key in his front door. He noticed the blinking red light of his answering machine as soon as he closed the door.

“Hello, Noah, it’s me,” Charlie said. “I know you don’t want to talk to me now because I was such a dick to you. I tried to apologize that night, but you locked yourself in the bathroom. Anyway, I really hope you can forgive me. I need a friend.”

“Fuck,” Noah said. Charlie sounded so sad. He pushed the button on the machine to tell him what time Charlie had called. Three hours earlier. He pulled out his cell and noticed he had a missed call from Charlie, too. It was too late to call him now.

Noah turned on his laptop. He could at least send Charlie 28

PULLING AWAY

an email telling him he’d come by to see him tomorrow after work. Then he noticed Charlie’s screen name was active. He waited, expecting to see an instant message pop up for Sly Cat. He waited several minutes, but no message came.

Taking a chance, Noah flipped his cell and called Charlie.

“Noah?” Charlie’s voice rasped after the first ring.

“I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“No, I couldn’t sleep. Where are you?”

“I just got home. Sorry I missed your calls,” Noah said.

“Hey, I’m not mad at you about the other night or anything.

We’re good.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. Are you all right? You sound pretty down.”

“Can you…can you come over?” Charlie asked.

“Now?”

There was a long pause. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Noah closed his eyes. Charlie sounded uncertain. Not like his usual self at all. But Noah shouldn’t go. He knew very well if he went over there they’d end up having sex and he’d be in deep all over again. He exhaled. As if he’d ever actually not loved Charlie. Who was he really kidding?

“Yeah, I’m on my way, Charlie,” Noah whispered.

“Thanks. See you in a few.”

Noah sat in his house for a moment, trying to get himself together.
You’re just a neighbor he has sex with once in a
while
.

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Keep it casual, keep it cool.

Charlie must have been watching for him, because as soon as he started up the walkway of the house, the front door opened.

Noah reached Charlie and to his further surprise, Charlie immediately pulled Noah into an embrace and kissed him thoroughly. Charlie kicked the front door closed and pushed him up against the wall, not breaking the contact of their lips.

Charlie’s tongue slid inside his mouth, and Noah moaned.

Most of the time Charlie didn’t allow their tongues to touch.

He wondered if he should stop Charlie and ask him if he was all right.

Already Charlie tore at Noah’s T-shirt, inching it up his stomach to his underarms. Next he tugged at the belt in Noah’s slacks.

“Easy, easy,” Noah gasped. Charlie was so intense, so desperate.

“Fuck me, please,” Charlie begged. He undid Noah’s pants and shoved them down, together with Noah’s briefs. It seemed pretty clear to Noah that they were going to have to go at whatever pace Charlie wanted. He’d never seen his lover like this before.

Charlie reached for Noah’s hard cock, closing his fingers around the shaft.

“Um, get naked, Charlie.”

Charlie didn’t need to be told twice. He stepped back, pulled off the sweatshirt he wore, and tossed it across the room. He then shucked his jeans and boxers. Now naked, he 30