Psyche Shield (5 page)
Amy sat on the couch, reading her latest mystery
novel. Her patient slept soundly, and she kept one ear on the Wolf’s breathing
and heartbeat. The leg needed strict attention for a day or two. Though
necessary, re-breaking the compound fracture in the field could cause
complications. Rapid healing usually made her job as Pack Medic easy, but when
a bone began to knit together before set properly, it became an inconvenience.
If any problems arose, she wanted to address them immediately. She’d camp out
at Billie’s until certain the leg would fully recover.
Her mind persistently wandered from the book to her
predicament. She had four patients at once, three of them the most dominant and
stubborn Wolves in the entire pack. All three had sustained life-threatening
injuries in the last week. As usual, Jason, Billie, and Matthew would barely
let her assess them and refused to rest properly. They postured and pretended,
but she knew better.
She’d pulled out every trick she knew to convince them to
rest and let her treat them, but they ignored her. They acted like intracranial
swelling, internal bleeding, and multiple compound fractures were nothing more
than bumps and bruises. She couldn’t tell who would win a stubborn pride
contest, but collectively those three hit a world record. Each had improved
significantly thanks to a Wolf’s rapid metabolism and ability to heal quickly.
But when they didn’t take care of themselves, it took longer to return to full
strength. Billie wasn’t even out of the woods, and she worried the Beta’s
internal bleeding would renew.
Kathryn sat beside her on the couch, pretending to read a
novel about a Russian ballet icon. Frequently Amy caught her staring out the
window in thought. She wanted to ask but wouldn’t risk waking her patient.
She’d pester her friend later.
Billie’s Jeep pulled into the drive, and she hoped they
would enter quietly. Kathryn set her novel on the table and stood, alert to
something that Amy didn’t notice. The Medic listened intently, but before she
could determine what drew the Elder’s concern, the door burst open.
Billie entered in a whirlwind, carrying her unconscious mate
in her arms. Sadie convulsed violently, and only determination and Wolf
strength kept her mate from falling. Amy couldn’t remember the last time she
smelled fear on her Beta, but Billie reeked of it. “Help her,” she begged.
The Medic jumped into action, and Kathryn moved out of the
way. “Put her on the couch. What happened?”
Billie set her mate down gently and cradled her head in her
hands. Kathryn watched the spectacle from a polite distance. Billie’s voice
shook slightly, a testament to the level of her fear. Billie never dissembled
and could meet anything head on without flinching. “Every time she uses
magepower she shakes and gets weak and tired. Sometimes she passes out. But
it’s never been this bad. This can’t be normal.”
Amy noticed Sierra, awake and eyes wide at the sight. The
Wolf lay motionless and watched intently. Her fifth patient. The rapidly
growing triage situation weighed on her, but she focused on Sadie. “Her heart
is fine and she’s breathing. That’s good. This isn’t a real seizure, it’s
something else. How long does it usually last?”
“It’s always different. After the Mage confrontation the
other day, she passed out, slept for several hours, then shook when she woke
up. Later when she freed Nathan, it wasn’t as bad. The next day after
uncollaring the rest of Cassandra’s pets, she barely felt it at all.”
Amy checked Sadie over and considered the Mage’s condition
carefully. She spoke aloud so that Billie and Kathryn could follow her
thoughts. “Using magepower is normal for Mages, but Sadie didn’t use it for
years until recently. Right?”
Billie couldn’t be sure. Sadie didn’t talk about it much,
and she hadn’t pushed. “Not since she was a teenager, I think. Not until the
attack.”
Amy reasoned it out, but her uncertainty showed. “Maybe it’s
something they have to get used to, and she’s not used to it. So it’s shocking
her system. I don’t know anything about Mage physiology, Billie. I’m sorry, but
I’m guessing.”
Kathryn knelt beside Sadie and took her hand gently. She
looked intently at her convulsing friend, reminding Amy and Billie of the way
Kato looked within a person. After a moment she met her Beta’s eyes. “I believe
Amy is correct that using magepower is shocking her system, but I do not
believe this is a purely physical reaction. Billie, you sense your mate’s
emotions. Could this be a response to guilt?”
Billie flinched at the suggestion and answered slowly. “It
could be. The severity doesn’t make sense with how much magepower she uses. But
it does compare to how she feels about it.”
“A psychological response?” Amy chewed her lip in thought.
“It could be, especially knowing how Sadie feels about being a Mage.”
“Can you reach her mind?” Kathryn asked, ignoring Amy’s
analysis while she worked on her own.
“I’ve been trying, but she’s not hearing me. She’s
completely shut down. What do we do?” Billie moved to the couch and pulled
Sadie into her lap, holding her close as she continued to convulse.
The Elder came to a decision. “We comfort her like Pack.
Amy, would you please call Nathan? Sadie would benefit from his presence,
reminding her of the good she has done with her power.” Kathryn began to strip
off her clothes as Amy hit speed dial. In wolf form, Kathryn jumped onto the
couch and lay beside her friend, finding room enough for her small body. She
rested her black head on Sadie’s chest, eyes half closed. Her talent for
breathing calm into any distressed creature began to ease Sadie’s convulsions.
Still Sadie trembled and didn’t wake.
Amy spoke to Nathan and set the phone aside. With a grim
face, she reassured Sierra. “It looks like a busy day for me. But I’m not going
anywhere, so if you need me say so.” Then shedding her own clothes, she shifted
into a large arctic wolf. Too big to fit on the couch without suffocating her
packmate, she sat on the floor instead. She tucked her nose into the crook of
Sadie’s neck, breathing in her scent and wishing she could do more. With a
whine, she draped a paw across Sadie’s lightly trembling arm.
Amy listened to Billie’s soft voice and sensed the
mindspeech between them as she tried to reach her mate’s mind. “
Love, I’m
right here. Come back to me. Everyone you love is just fine. Come back to me.
”
Sierra watched the strange scene, eyes wide and alarmed. Amy cocked her ear in
the strange Wolf’s direction and softened her eyes reassuringly. Billie finally
noticed her houseguest and offered an explanation. “She doesn’t like using
magepower. She doesn’t like being a Mage. I think Kathryn’s right.”
Sierra spoke hesitantly, her voice betraying her conflicted
thoughts. “Why does she use it then?”
“To protect us.” Billie’s admiration for her mate flowed
from those simple words. Amy shared her Beta’s respect for Sadie and her
devotion to Pack. “We had a situation with some Mages recently. Sadie stopped
them. We’re still cleaning up the mess they left behind. She’s as protective
and loyal as any Wolf.”
Sierra didn’t respond, and silence filled the room. From the
corner of her eye, Amy could see the Wolf’s thoughtful expression as she
watched the strange Mage surrounded by Wolves. Before long, Amy heard a truck
pull into the drive. The front door opened and a stocky young man walked in.
The sound of the truck leaving reminded her that Nathan went nowhere
unaccompanied by another Wolf. His roommate Phil even waited until Nathan
entered Billie’s home before driving away.
She gazed lovingly at the new arrival as he quickly took in
the scene. Once Sadie had freed him of the Mage’s coercion, she’d quickly
fallen for the Pup. Easygoing and grounded, he had a way of looking at life
that she admired. He’d found that outlook as a Human, and it suited his Wolf
nature well. Not particularly dominant but highly protective and loyal, he was
tough when it counted. He would do anything for those he loved. The boyish
smile he reserved for her made her melt every time.
Nathan spared only a glance at the injured Wolf in bed as he
crossed quickly to the couch. With one hand, he caressed Amy’s neck, placing
the other protectively over Sadie’s leg. Amy leaned into him as much as she
could without breaking contact with Sadie. Nathan looked hard at the
unconscious Mage and spoke to Billie in a rough back-hills accent that Sierra
found familiar. “This is like before, after she fought those Mages tha’ had me.
What’s wrong wi’ her?”
Billie didn’t take her troubled eyes off her mate. “We think
it’s an emotional reaction. Guilt.”
“Aw, Sadie.” He looked at Billie. “Can she hear me?”
“I don’t know. I can’t reach her. Maybe you can.”
His face hardened with thick emotion, and he spoke harshly
to the Mage on the couch. He began to clip his words like he oftentimes did
when upset. “Now tha’s enough, Sadie. Ya hear me? You don’t have nothin’ to
feel guilty ’bout. If it weren’t for you, I’d still be trapped, listenin’ to
that Mage yappin’ inside my head. Don’t you dare beat yerself up for bein’ who
ya are. If you weren’t a Mage, we’d all be gonners.” The other Wolves listened
to his speech and hoped she heard.
Billie felt Sadie’s mind shift slightly and nearly choked in
relief. “She heard you. Keep talking.”
He did. The doggie door flapped, and they smelled Kato. The
ancient Wolf padded into the living room and hopped onto the couch alongside
Kathryn, completing the wolf blanket with his red and white fur. He gazed
steadfastly into Sadie’s face, and they sensed mindspeech as he tried to
connect with her.
The last of Sadie’s trembling abated, and for a few moments
she breathed normally. Her eyes opened abruptly, unfocused and wild, her
screams piercing the air as she regained consciousness. Nathan jumped back,
startled by her sudden reaction and shaking his head to clear the ringing in
his ears. Billie grasped her mate’s head between her hands gently, whispering
soothingly. Several shrill screams later, she focused on Kato’s direct gaze and
fell silent. Something passed between them as they communicated mind to mind.
* * *
I fell into a black hole. As the magepower
dissipated, a void took its place. I searched desperately through the
nothingness. It cloyed under my skin, an absence of sensation as deep as the
ether around me. Even time disappeared. Alone in the void, I couldn’t find
Billie’s mind. Desperate for someone to help me, I opened my mouth and a scream
left my lips instead. It echoed against the void, pressing back on me like a
dead heartbeat. It felt like an eternity trapped in the darkness accompanied
only by the echo of my screams.
A face appeared, penetrating the nothingness, and I reached
out to it. Jazz’s face materialized, her mouth tight with resentment. Dark
accusatory eyes held me fixed. She wasted no words on me and disappeared once
again. Only the void remained.
Screams echoed endlessly, and I couldn’t tell if they came
from me or someone else. Other faces emerged from the void to haunt me for the
harm I’d caused. Gary and his kids. Mom and Dad. Seven dead teenagers without
names, their lives ended by the power of a thought. Cassandra, Marque and
Alexander. Friends from my youth, babysitters and teachers. An endless parade
of victims appeared one by one. Some spat accusations, and others cursed
violently. Most peered at me in harsh silence, their outraged expressions
shouting louder than words.
The void overtook me once again, cloying and eternal.
Screams echoed, and this time I knew they came from me. A single voice
penetrated the void, barely discernible through the screams. Nathan. I couldn’t
understand his muffled words, but he sounded upset. Turning in circles
desperately, I searched for him. He couldn’t be here. He was free. His voice
came again, the words almost recognizable. He couldn’t be here!
I freed you, Nathan!
The desperate screech echoed
back to me from the void, repeating those four words over and over. It pressed
against me too, but unlike the screams, it felt solid. It felt real. The
darkness greyed, and I felt my body once again, gripped in agonizing pain.
Billie’s mind tapped at mine, then Kato’s. I wouldn’t let them in, so I
screamed. This time it pierced my own ears instead of echoing through the void.
Muzi!
I heard Kato’s call, and it tore at my heart.
You can’t be here!
I allowed the mental contact, so I
could tell him to leave.
Hush, daughter! Look at me!
His sharp tone shocked me
into stillness. Kato never gave orders. Startled, I opened my eyes and realized
they were already open. The room appeared before me, out of focus and
indistinct except for Kato’s red wolf face. His ancient eyes bore into mine,
holding my confession before it spilled from my lips.
I did it. I erased Jazz’s memory.
I told him
tearfully but silently. Billie’s hand ran through my hair as I spoke mind to
mind with my Muso. She couldn’t understand us.
You do as you must to protect those you love, even when
it distresses you. You honor your pack and your parents’ memory with your
actions.
His words penetrated the panic, soothing me until the pain that
gripped my body began to ease. Nathan sat at my side, one hand resting on Amy’s
white furred neck.
Why is Nathan here?
I asked Kato, confused by his
presence when I’d last heard him in the void.
He comes to help you in your time of need. Look at the
Pup and remember the freedom he has because of you.
I remembered Jazz instead and sobbed wordlessly, not
trusting what I might say. My packmates nestled closer, their warmth and fur
consoling me.
I hate that I can do that to someone, Muso. I hate myself for
being capable of it!