Proving Paul's Promise (25 page)

“I was hopeful. I guess I read it wrong.”

“You’re not in love with me. You want what could have been.”

She nods, and her eyes fill with tears. “Just tell me why her.”

“She loves me. She loves my daughter. She loves my family. She loves my business and my work. She loves the hustle and bustle of my life. I can see my life with her fifty years from now. That’s why her. So, don’t kiss me again.” I scowl at her.

“I’m sorry,” she says.

“We’re friends, Kells,” I tell her. “But don’t ever hope I’ll fall out of love with her and into bed with you because it’ll never happen. And don’t come between us. You understand?”

She nods. “I get it.”

“Good.” I adjust my shirt for lack of anything better to do. “One day, you’re going to meet the right one. And when you do, you’ll see fucking sparks. You’ll feel it from your head to your toes.”

“And you feel that for her.”

“Yes.” I don’t even need to think about it.

“Okay,” she says. “I’m going to go home and be embarrassed all by myself.”

“No need to be embarrassed.” Well, there sort of is. But it is what it is.

“You’ll forget this happened, right?”

“Already forgotten.”

“Are you going to tell her?”

“Yes.” I won’t keep secrets.

“Okay.” She sighs heavily.

She turns on her heel, tips her chin up, and walks out of the room.

What the fuck was that?

###

I let myself into the apartment, and Hayley runs in ahead of me. She’s still in her tutu and she’s hungry, so I make us quick sandwiches and wrap one up for Friday because she should be here soon. It’s either really sad that I’m so excited about it, or it’s really wonderful, and I’m leaning toward wonderful.

Hayley eats her sandwich and some chips, and I send her to take a bath. She’s tired, so I read her a quick story afterward and tuck her into bed, but as soon as I do, there’s a knock on the door. I hope it’s Friday and that she’s just forgotten her key, but I open the door to find two police officers with their hats stuck under their arms.

Oh fuck, which one of my brothers did something now?

“Mr. Reed?” one of them asks. He looks down at his notepad.

“Yes.” My heart starts to thump. What if someone is hurt? What if someone was in an accident?

“Mr. Paul Reed?” he asks.

I nod because I doubt a squeak could leave my throat.

“May we come in?”

I step to the side, and they enter the room. They walk to the sofa and take a seat. One of them holds out a file and opens it up. He looks at me. “Can you confirm that you are the son of Mr. Max Reed of this address?”

“Yes. But he wasn’t of this address. He’s been gone a long time.”

He gazes at me warily. “But he did once live here?”

“Yes, he’s my father.”

The man’s gaze turn sympathetic. “I’m very sorry, Mr. Reed, but we have unfortunate news. There was an old warehouse on the other side of town that was being demolished, and your father’s body was found inside.”

I fall into my chair because my legs won’t hold me up. “What?” All this time and he has been in the same city?

“We were alerted that there was a body that was found during demolition.”

I scrub a hand down my face.

“How long has your father been gone?”

“Years.”

“That makes more sense then,” he says. “The coroner says the death happened years ago.” He pulls a picture from the stack and shows it to me. I avert my eyes because I’ve seen enough. I remember that shirt like I just saw it yesterday. It was his favorite. He wore it all the time, and my mother hated it because it had a curse words on the back of it with a picture of someone flipping the bird.

“He was wearing that shirt the day he left.” The day I kicked him out. I jab the heels of my hands against my eyes and scrub.

“He most likely died around that time. Maybe even the same day. It’s hard to say. His body was fairly well preserved as he was stuffed into a freezer in the basement of a building.”

Oh holy hell. I get up and start to pace. Bile rises up my throat, but I swallow it back.

“Would it be possible for you to come to the station with us?” he asks.

“I have a daughter,” I say.

“Is there anyone you can call to come and stay with her?” He looks kind but firm. I get the idea that this isn’t a choice.

I nod and pick up the phone. But I can’t call my brothers. If I did, I’d have to tell them that Dad died the day I kicked him out. I let them think he left all those years ago. But he didn’t. I threw him out. And now he’s dead.

I dial. “Hey, Kells, can you come over and get Hayley?” I ask. “I have to do something.”

“Why?” she asks.

“It’s an emergency.”

“Why me?”

“Because you’re her fucking mother and I need for you to come and get her,” I say. “Take her home with you.”

“I’ll be right there.”

Fuck, I’m opening up a whole can of worms, but I can’t tell my brothers yet. I just can’t.

Friday

The feeling is sweet when Henry and I go and drop Jacob off. Henry taught him the slap game, and they played it on and off all night. Jacob was actually pretty good at it and learned to flip his hands quickly. I’d like to think I have something to do with what a good kid he is, but I’m not sure that’s the case.

When we drop him off, I can hear Jill run down the stairs and her hair is all messed up so I can just imagine what kind of “date” she had tonight. I just hope they had a good time, and I’m happy to see that they have such a good relationship. She takes Jacob from me and invites me to come back another day, preferably one when her husband is home and not in bed so I can meet him, too. I agree. I’d love to.

Then Henry and I go to his house. He crooks his arm, and I slide my hand into the vee he made for me. He smiles down at me. “When I met Nan, she made my heart go pitter-patter just by doing what you’re doing,” he tells me softly. “She would touch me, and it was like someone shot me with a lightning bolt.”

“I’m sorry I make you remember,” I tell him.

He
pfftt
’s me. “Oh, I love the memories. They keep me going.” He taps the end of my nose, and I close my eyes and laugh at him. “When you’re as old as me, I hope you have half as many good memories.”

“I plan to.”

“It’s good to have plans.”

We walk quietly to his house, and I gather my suitcase. “Thanks for taking care of me, Henry,” I say quietly, and I step up to kiss his cheek.

“Thanks for giving me something to worry about,” he says. “Sometimes it gets lonely when you’re old and by yourself. It’s good to have a problem to work out in your head.”

“Particularly when it’s not yours.” I laugh.

“I’d rather it be mine,” he says, and I believe him.

“I love you, Henry,” I say.

“I love you, too, kiddo,” he says. He grins at me. He pulls me toward him and hugs me tightly, holding on to me just long enough. Then he sets me back. “Go find your future,” he says.

So I do.

I’m almost giddy when I get to Paul’s apartment. I let myself in and roll my suitcase into the room. But I stop short when I see Kelly standing in the kitchen wearing nothing but one of Paul’s T-shirts. What the fuck?

“Hey, Kelly,” I manage to say.

She smiles at me over the top of a cup of coffee.

“What are you doing here?”

“Oh, Paul called me. He said he needed me.” She smiles again, but it’s acidic and almost painful to look at. “Then he left.”

“Why are you wearing his shirt?”

She shrugs. “I’m spending the night.”

“Where did he go?”

“He left with two policemen. It was kind of scary.”

What? “And you just let him leave?”

She shrugs again.

“Who the fuck
are
you?” I ask. “You just let him leave?”

“He needed me to be here for Hayley.” Suddenly, the grin falls off her face, and she looks worried. “Fuck,” she breathes. “I was so damn excited that he called me, of all people, that I didn’t even question why.”

“You just let him leave with them?” I am shrieking by this point, and I force myself to gentle my voice so I won’t wake Hayley.

I’m already dialing the phone. “Matt,” I say. And I tell him what I know, which is nothing. “Meet me there,” I tell him.

“I cannot fucking believe you didn’t get any information,” I tell Kelly.

But I’m already running out the door and she’s looking a little chagrined behind me. I catch a cab to the police station, and all the brothers and their girlfriends are pacing outside. Matt must have left his girls with Seth because they’re not there. Logan has Kit in her carrier. We all head inside together, and Matt goes to get the story.

He comes back, and he’s a little shell-shocked. He sinks into a chair. “It’s about Dad,” he says. “He died.”

“Where is Paul?” I ask.

“He left.” Matt shrugs.

“Dad died?” Sam says.

Matt nods. “The officer said Paul was really upset. Blaming himself.”

“Why would he do that?” Pete asks.

Matt shrugs again.

“Who’s with Hayley if we’re all here?” Reagan asks. She looks from one brother to another.

“Her mother,” I say. “I just left there.”

“She’s at Paul’s?” Matt asks.

“He called her.”

“Why would he call her instead of one of us?”

“What the fuck happened?”

“Where is he?”

They’re all talking at once, and I can’t hear any of them.

“We need to split up and go find him,” Logan suggests.

Matt nods.

“I know where he is.” I get to my feet. “I’ll go and get him.”

“Where is he?” Matt asks.

“I’ll go and get him. Don’t worry.”

“You have to tell us something,” Pete says.

“I’ll bring him home. You can go there and wait.” And I leave them all and hail a cab. I know exactly where he is.

Paul

The projector is harder to work than I remember it being. But after a few busted knuckles and even more curse words, I finally get it started up. The theater is completely dark, except for the screen, and it casts a small glow on the room. This particular movie theater is small, and it has old wooden chairs with barely any cushion on them. But this is the only place that my dad and I ever went to be alone.

We would sneak in here in the middle of the night when the other boys were in bed, and we would watch old films together. Sometimes, we would pop popcorn and bring it from home, and we would sit all night and watch film after film. I go and sit down in one of the seats in the middle.

I don’t think anyone has been here in a really long time, if the amount of dust on the seats is any indication. I don’t care. I sit down anyway and watch the screen flicker. There’s no sound because I couldn’t figure out how to turn that on. But I can watch the movie and remember. My dad wasn’t always bad. He was forgetful and he was never serious enough, but my mother was the opposite so they complemented each other really well. Where he didn’t care, she cared too much, and vice versa. After my mom died, though, there was no one to balance him out, which made him seem like a deadbeat. He wasn’t though, looking back on it. He was lonely. He was alone.

I hear the door open behind me, and the hair on the back of my fucking neck stands up. It’s her. I always know when it’s her. Her scent hits me before I even see her, and she doesn’t say a word when she sits down beside me.

She’s quiet, and she just watches the movie with me. When the reel stops, the room goes a little brighter because the lamps are still on.

“That was fun. What’s up next?” she asks. Her voice echoes in the open room, even though she’s speaking quietly.

“Why are you here?” I ask.

Her hand covers mine. “Because you needed me.” She squeezes my hand gently.

“Go home, Friday,” I bite out.

But she doesn’t. She just sits there, quietly. “Why don’t you start another movie?”

“I don’t want to watch another movie.”

I lay my head back and close my eyes.

“Why didn’t you call me?” she asks quietly.

“I couldn’t figure out how to tell anyone.”

“Even me?”

“Even you.”

“Why?” Her voice is soft.

“Because I feel so fucking guilty that it’s like somebody is taking a knife and stabbing me in the gut over and over and over.”

“Guilty about what?”

“I lied, Friday. I fucking lied, okay?” I lied to the people I love, and they’ll probably never forgive me.

“Lied about what?”

“Dad didn’t leave. I threw him out.” I pick at a piece of lint on my jeans.

“Why did you do that?” Her voice is so quiet that I can barely hear her.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does.” I feel her shift, and she climbs into my lap. She straddles me, one thigh on each side of my hips, and I reach for her bottom and jerk her against me. She yelps because I move so fast I scare her. But I need her. I need to feel her against me. I need her on top of me and fucking me. I need her. “It does matter.” She takes my face in her hands. “Why did you kick him out?”

“I came home in the middle of the day and found him in my mother’s bed with another woman. He was really careful not to bring women around us, and I had heard he was dating someone, but he hadn’t told us. But I walked in and found them together. I wasn’t supposed to be there.”

“Keep going.” She touches the pad of her thumb to my lower lip, and I chase her thumb and try to bite it. She smiles and rests on my chest on her elbows.

“Mom had been gone for a year, but I felt like he was taking a knife to her memory.”

“I can understand that.”

“I got mad, and I was bigger than him, so I jerked him out of bed. He tried to explain, but I wouldn’t listen. I kicked the woman out, and he was really angry. He swung at me, and he missed, so I punched him in the stomach. Then I hit him in the face. I threw him out. I tossed him out like garbage. I didn’t even let him get a change of clothes. Nothing.”

She doesn’t say anything.

“Then I told my brothers he left.”

“Oh, Paul,” she says quietly.

“They showed me the picture of his dead body. On his cheek is a slash. It’s from where I hit him with my fist. I was wearing my new class ring. I had just gotten it. I saw it across his face when I hit him. I saw it that day, and I saw it today. So, he died right after our fight.”