Promised: True Mates Book 1 (BBW Paranormal Wolf Shifter Romance) (A Craggstone Paranormal Romance) (4 page)

The crowd gasped, watching the back and forth and waiting for James’s reaction.

I stood, watching the exchange, a deep frost settling in my chest. Her words hit home. I didn’t know who I was, didn’t know where I came from. And it hurt.

“Excuse me,” I muttered, needing to get away from all these people, stumbling backwards and blindly pushing through the crowd. I needed to breathe. I had to get some air. How could she be so vicious? How did she know? Was she right? Was I not good enough for James? Is that what everyone would think, now that they knew?

I mumbled apologies as I banged into people, blindly seeking the doors leading to outside. My face burned with the humiliation of being discussed like a brood mare. James had defended me, though. But what if we weren’t
really
true mates? Did I believe? It went against everything I had ever known. It could just be a ruse to add me to his pack, lock me in, catch me like Eric wanted. Nothing made sense, and I didn’t know what to believe — or who to trust. Pain locked around my heart, squeezing.

Breaking through the last of the crowd, I pushed through the double doors and stepped out onto the wraparound porch.

Late evening had arrived, and the sky had darkened to a violet-black hue, dotted with hundreds of shining stars. The moon had risen, nearly full, a pearly orb hanging just above the tallest trees in the forest. The air felt fresh and crisp in my lungs, the mugginess of the day burned away with the sleeping sun. Insects called to each other across the sleepy meadow, their sounds sharp in contrast with the muffled buzz of the party.

Walking around the porch, I gulped the night air deep into my lungs, shaking my hands to try and relax. I willed myself not to care…not to care about any of it. I just had to focus on my freedom, nothing else. That’s all I had ever wanted — until I had met James.

I grasped the railing, leaning to look out at the wilderness. Calm seeped into me as I rasped my fingers back and forth over the smooth wood. Closing my eyes, I listened to the sounds of the night, allowing them to soothe me.

A door opened and the noise from the house spilled out for a moment. Slow footsteps echoed on the old creaky wood until they stopped behind me.

I squeezed my eyes tighter, desperately trying to hold onto that feeling of peace.

M
y future mate
caressed the railing gently with her long, shapely fingers, a movement at odds with the stiffness infusing her spine. A gentle breeze blew across the meadow, bringing with it the scent of the wild – crisp and green, infused with an earthy undertone.

Drawing the air deep into my lungs, I searched for patience and tact.
Please, Mother of All, lend me the words to woo my mate!
The old porch, built by a great-great-grandfather long gone, creaked under my feet, the sound loud in the stillness of the night. Kara flinched, almost imperceptibly, her fingers halting mid-motion. It stung to see such a strong woman devastated like this. And she was strong, to have survived her life so far. She will never be scared again, I vowed silently to the Mother.
I will protect her
.

“It’s just me, Kara,” my voice echoed, sounding loud in my ears. “Why did you run?” Immediately I cursed myself silently for asking such a direct question, one that challenged her rather than protected her.

“Because…,” her voice drifted to me, quiet on the cool air. “Because, you really don’t know who I am, you don’t know anything about me, yet you believe I am your mate. It’s hard for
me
to believe…” She spun to face me, her hands clenched in little fists at her hips. The moonlight lit her face, highlighting her wide green eyes and plump, luscious lips, lips that I desperately wanted to taste again.

My feet took an involuntary lurch forward, my arm lifting from my side, seeking to smooth her hair that was scattering in the wind, drifting around her face.

“Kara, I know who you are,” I stopped in front of her, managing to resist the urge to touch and stroke. “You are my true mate. My beast knows this, I know this, now you need to know this.”

“I’m an orphan—” the words tumbled out of her.

“I know.”

“I don’t know
who
I am—”

“I know.”

“I don’t know who my family was,” she rushed on. “I don’t know what my heritage is. It turns out I have been fed lies since I was young — manipulated and forced into being someone who I am not. Told that I had to behave in a certain way. That things are expected of me…things that I find out now — I do not
have
to do. I have a
choice
for the first time in my life! A
choice
! To be
me
!” Her voice rose in a crescendo, the words tumbling over each other.

“Kara—”

“I may
not
be your true mate—”

“You are—”

“—but I may
not
be! You can’t be 100% sure,” she pressed her hand against my chest, her nails digging into my shirt, “you
can’t
. But…even if you were, and I was, why? Why would you want
me
? You can have anyone.” She shook her head, her long hair flying with the movement. “And why should I want this? I have a chance to escape Eric, to find out who I really am, to do whatever I want to do. To live life however
I
want!” Her lips twisted in a grimace. “I don’t know you, not really. I would want to know my mate.”

Pain clawed inside my chest, her words cutting and tearing through me. She didn’t want me. And why would she? Anger burned inside my chest, at Eric for the twisted abuse he had subjected her to, and at her old pack for not protecting her. She would have been just a cub when they found her. She should have been loved, protected, and cared for. Sharp pain flared as my nails shifted to claws, digging into my palms. A growl of frustration welled in my throat. She didn’t know about the fledgling bond between us. She didn’t know enough to recognize it for what it was. I could tell her, make her see that we are destined to be together, but part of me, the stubborn, fool part, I admitted, wanted her to want me, to trust me — to recognize the bond for what it is by herself, and choose me.

“You want to be free?” I forced the gritted words out.

“Yes…no…I don’t know!” she threw her hands up in the air. “That’s just it! I don’t know
what
I want! I…I like you, you’ve been nothing but kind to me. But I don’t — no, I won’t — be trapped again!”

Emotions swirled in her teal-green eyes as she grabbed the front of my shirt. “How can you be so sure that this—,” she twirled a finger between us, reaching on tip-toe as she locked gazes with me, “—is real?”

“This is how I know,” I whispered, leaning forward and pressing my lips to hers.

* * *

J
ames’s lips covered mine
, firm and deliciously warm, a hard pressure, yet not insistent. My lips tingled and opened in response, and I succumbed, pressing my body closer to his. My breasts molded against his hard chest as his arms pulled me closer. Deepening the kiss, he shifted, angling even closer. I felt his cock, hard and ready, brush against my hip. From deep within my wolf stirred, rushing toward the surface, metaphorically sniffing at the air. His male muskiness enveloped me, cascading over my senses and causing my wolf to reel with pleasure. From deep within I felt her bat impishly, testing my resolve and pushing me to act, to let her play.

Gasping for breath, I pushed James away. The lure was too strong. My wolf had never reacted like this with anyone before — anyone but James. God, what if he was right? A yearning — deep within my soul that I didn’t know I had — flared to life. The need to be held, to be wanted — to be loved. Love? What was that?

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” James asked, lightly tapping his knuckles against my forehead. His breathing was ragged, the rise and fall of his chest mesmerizing me for a brief moment.

Wrenching my eyes to meet his, my own widened, shocked at the raw need reflected in his. Hands trembling, I reached up and gently brushed a lock of hair from his face.

Immediately capturing my hand with his, he threaded our fingers together to cup his cheek.

“You felt it, didn’t you?” He nuzzled his cheek into my hand, lightly abrading my fingers with his stubble. My skin tingled just from this small act of touching. The touch felt so personal, more than the kiss that we had just shared — like something a mate would do to show that he cared. Then he lightly pressed a kiss into my palm, and my breath hitched as my heart fractured, just a little.

“I…I felt something,” I admitted. I couldn’t lie to him, not when everyone had lied to me. I couldn’t bring myself to stoop to their level. I wanted to live my life the best way I could, and that started with being honest. And looking after myself, first. No one else would — or had. “There are things you still don’t know about me—”

“Kara, I—”

“No. Stop, please. I can’t—” My throat felt tight, like the air was too thick, “—I just need some space, some time to think. I just don’t know what to do at the moment. You might be…we might be…but I might not be what you expected in a mate.”

Reaching out, James gently shuffled me back against the railing, caging me between his arms. “You will not run from me this time. Tell me what you felt,” he softly ordered, his tone carrying the weight of his power as Alpha.

Immediately, my wolf bristled at his dominance and bore her metaphysical teeth in a growl. Outwardly, my brows arched as my lips pursed.

“There she is,” James said, with a grin.

“What?”

“My alpha-mate,” he chuckled. “This is one of the many reasons why I am sure you are the one for me. You may feel broken, but you are not. You may believe you are worth less than other females, but your soul — both halves — does not believe this. Deep, deep inside, you know you are my equal.” He raised his hand cutting off my denial. “As you just proved. You did not cower, you did not submit and grovel.” He laughed, a deep and joyous sound, his whole face lighting up. “You told me to fuck off—”

“No, I didn’t!”

“I heard her,” he stated. “Between her growl and your face, you told me and my alpha-ness to take a running jump.” Grabbing my hips, he leaned his full weight against me. “And I liked it — a lot.”

His weight blanketed me, wrapping me in warmth. I could feel his cock digging into my stomach as he shifted against me, thick and hard. Heat erupted, shooting through my veins, liquefying my limbs. Beads of sweat formed in an instant, trickling down to the small of my back. It felt like he was calling to my soul and drawing out my emotions, magnifying my responses.

“This—” he ground himself against me, “—is special.
This
is real. You don’t have to tell me everything, not right now, because I
know
it will not change the fact that we
are
true mates, and you belong with me.”

His words rang in my ears, cutting through my hormone induced stupor. I didn’t belong to anyone. Not anymore! I would not have my decisions made for me — not again! Ice formed in my veins. I had to get away, to think.

Placing my hand firmly on his chest I pushed as hard as I could. It was like moving a large boulder up a steep hill.

“I
said
—” I ground out and shoved hard again, watching with satisfaction as he jerked back, a thoroughly bewildered expression marring his handsome face, “—I need
time
!”

He said he wanted alpha-mate, I’d give him alpha-bitch! I strode across to the door and yanked it open. “I don’t
belong
to anyone. Been there, done that, got the fucking t-shirt,” I threw the words over my shoulder, glancing back. I stalked to my room with my head held high and the image of his shocked face imprinted in my mind.

M
y wolf howled
in anguish as I watched Kara stalk away. She had felt the bond, I was sure of it. So why was she walking away?
Dumb ass!
A slip of the tongue and she was spooked. I didn’t want to own her, but she was mine!
Just as I was hers
.

“Shit!” I cursed, kicking the railing hard. It took everything I had not to storm after her, grab her and show her what she meant to me. If I could just get her to listen. Once bonded, she would know my every thought, my every feeling. She would know that I loved her with every fiber of my being. That I would die to protect her.

“Fuck it!” I lurched into motion, intent on following her.

“Let her go, James,” my mother murmured, her smooth twang stroking across my pricked temper.

Whirling around, I spied her at the end of the veranda, curled up on the porch swing. With a little nudge she set the swing into a smooth glide.

“How much did you hear?”

“Not much.” I could see her smirk from here, her lightly lined face creased up in mirth. “You didn’t do much talking. Then again, you didn’t do much listening, either.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” she motioned me to come sit “You know what you want—”

“She
is
my true mate.” Gingerly, I lowered my bulk into the old, wooden swing. It held firm, but emitted an ominous creak of protest.

“Yes, she is—”

“Then, she should be with me! We should be together. I’ve waited all my life to meet her, and now I finally have…” Shaking my head, I stared at the rough, wooden floor. “This is just not how it was supposed to be. Why is she running? Why is she making this so hard?”

“Because everything worth something is hard work, James.” She gently laid a work-roughened hand on my shoulder. “You’re not thinking, boy.”

She only ever called me ‘boy’ when I really fucked up. Not recently, but back when I was a young Alpha — thrust into the role far too early, volatile and angry at the unfairness of the motherfucking world — she called me it often. Far too often. I had let my wolf rule during those years, because it was easier that way. I had kept my title, but had earned people’s fear. Mom had been the only one who had not been cowed by me. She had sat me down and told me I was acting like an asshole. She had been right.

“Yes, you’re acting like an asshole again,” she said, smirking. “Your trip down memory lane paraded across your face. Do you remember what I told you then? No one is entitled to anything. You have to earn
everything
, and not through brute force — although it does have its place, and you wouldn’t be a good Alpha without it.” She patted my hand to ease the sting of her words. “Have you earned her trust, her respect, and her love? It is hers to freely give, not yours to take.”

“I have offered her mine.”

“You have offered her the mate bond, which she does not understand. You have offered to protect her, but have asked for something in return — her. You have not given her anything freely.”

Fuck, she was right.

“Yes, I am right,” she said, and squeezed my hand firmly. “
Think
with your human side, James. We are not just animals; we share that soul and have human emotions and needs. Human fears and desires. Kara has been lied to, deceived, deprived of love, the Mother of All knows what else.
Think,
James.”

“How did you get to be so wise?”

“Life, love, loss, anger, happiness, selflessness — they are all valid emotions, son. But you have to
really
experience them to grow and understand.”

With the grace of someone twenty years her junior, she rose, squeezed my hand one more time, and strolled back toward the house.

The fire drained out of me, creating a vacuum of emptiness. Listening to the sounds of the night, my mind spun, going over what she had said.

The door opened, the revelry from the party spilling out.

“Boss, the Council just called. 11:00 p.m. tomorrow,” Tarq, one of my lieutenants, yelled above the noise.

“Be right there. Call the others to the office,” I answered, smoothing my face to hopefully resemble someone who knew what they were doing, and wasn’t fucking everything up around him. “Be there in ten.”

* * *

“
R
ight
, then, what have we got?” Striding across my office, I nodded at the various people gathered.

Sean cleared his throat from where he was sprawled across the small couch that sat kitty-corner to my desk. Rounding the imposing desk, an inheritance from my father — a man who, in the prime of his life, had been as tall and brawny as me, or so I had been told many times — I settled myself into the worn leather chair, and nodded for him to spit it all out.

“Well, it seems Eric has been busy, too.” He grimaced, like he had eaten something bad. “He’s been to the Council, as well, and filled them full of his special brand of bullshit.” Shrugging, he continued, “Not sure what they believe, but they are going to hear all sides tomorrow night at 11:00p.m. Attendance for all parties is mandatory.”

Flexing my fingers to relieve the sudden build of tension — damn, did I want to hit that bullshitting bastard again! — I forced my mind away from the pleasure of pursuing that line of thought. “Fine. We’ll get Kara to sign a witnessed statement that she wants to join our pack.” I ticked the points off on my fingers. “I’ll claim mate rights, and—”

“She has to be there, boss,” Sean interrupted, holding his hands up in mock defense. “They said so. They want to question her, find out what’s really gone on, and what she really wants. Sure isn’t normal procedure, but the Council has an agenda. Just don’t know what it is yet.” He swung his legs off the end of the couch, hands folded behind his head.

“Shit, I don’t want her there,” I said, slamming a fist against the desk. The scarred oak absorbed the blow, like it had absorbed many before. “I don’t want her anywhere near Eric or his pack! They’ve fed her full of bullshit lies her whole life to keep her from leaving, threatened her, treated her like a second-class citizen,” I said, and my voice rose in frustration. “She shouldn’t have to deal with that. I should be able to deal with it for her!”

“So it’s true then, boss?” asked Macey from her perch on the windowsill. Tall, blonde, and deceptively delicate, Macey was one of my best lieutenants. Also, she was the one with the biggest mouth for gossip. I swear she liked to talk almost as much as she liked to fight. I almost felt sorry for whatever man claimed her as his mate.

“What have the gossip-chains been saying now, Macey?” I asked, giving her my best world-weary look, smothering the smirk twitching at my lips.

“Well, you know,” she started, hooking her legs up and under her butt while blowing a big pink bubble from her glossy pink lips, “I don’t listen to gossip—”

Groans and jibes echoed around the room.

“—Hey! Well, maybe a little. But, they say she’s your mate. Your
true
mate?” The last bit was whispered with a little awe, and punctuated by the pop of a pink bubble.

Giving in, I let the smothered smirk grow into a full-fledged grin. “Yup, she is! Hasn’t admitted it yet, but hey, when you know — you know.”

“Mother of All, that would be sweeeet,” Macey arched a perfectly groomed brow. “Maybe we’ll all be finding our true mates. Heaven knows, they’ve been in short supply.”

And she was right. Hardly anyone in our generation found their true mates, many giving up and mutually choosing a companion to mate and settle down with, to blot out the loneliness of not finding the other half of their soul. Like what I was planning with Amanda. No one knew why, but speculation and whispered theories circulated. A weaker gene pool, the Mother of All removing her blessing, a curse? Who knew? But maybe our luck was changing.

* * *

“
O
verbearing jackass
!” I marched down the corridor, searching the seemingly endless doors for the right room. The house, a rabbit warren of hodgepodge architecture, was rustic and charming. From its bright, voluminous family rooms, to its quaint and cozy bedrooms, the house had both charm and warmth in abundance, infusing me with feelings of safety and security.
But it’s not real
, I lectured myself sternly.

Finally finding the right door, I knocked, straining to hear over the distant sound of the party. “Lisa, it’s me,” I called.

Hearing a muffled reply I took to be a welcome, I shoved open the door. Lisa was nowhere to be seen, but steam wafted from the slightly ajar bathroom door.

“Be out in a minute!”

Kicking off my crippling heels, I flopped back on the bed. I studied the small spider web of cracks in the ceiling, and I toyed with the idea that I might have overreacted.

A thump on the bed next to me announced Lisa’s arrival. “What have you done now, chickie?” she drawled, flicking my shoulder with a hot-pink fingernail.

A gush of air exploded from my lungs. I hadn’t even been aware of holding my breath. Rolling onto my side, I picked up one of her corkscrew curls and twirled it between my fingers. “I lost it, Lisa. Completely lost it.”

“Tell me. From the beginning.”

I filled her in on the night. The Amanda Incident, me storming off, and James following me. “And we kissed and he told me I was his
true
mate and…”

“And what?”

“And…I felt it, Lisa,” I whispered, my voice breaking as I remembered the indescribable feeling. A feeling of wholeness, just beyond reach, but near enough to change me. “I felt the bond. What it could be. I felt our souls reaching out, our wolves talking to each other. It was…magical.”

“So, why are you here, with me? Not that I don’t love you and all, but…”

“I needed to think, and he pushed me—”

“He
pushed
you? That rat-bastard! I’m gonna give him a—”

“No, not like that. He just wouldn’t give me space to think, to breathe, to decide.”

“Well, honey, he is an Alpha…” murmured Lisa, rolling onto her side to face me. “It must have been hard for him, to hold back his wolf and the need to claim. You know how men are, especially the powerful ones.”

“I don’t think I know anything anymore. He told me that Eric has lied to me all my life, about mating and — well — everything! Eric said that the females can’t choose their mates, that the men choose who and what—”

“Wait!
What?
Honey, that’s some fucked up shit right there!”

“You knew — about true mates?”

“Everyone knows, I didn’t know you
didn’t
know, or I would’ve put you right in a hot second!” She rolled off the bed and padded in her bare feet over to the mini-fridge in the corner of the room. “You want a drink? I definitely need one!”

“Sure,” I replied, feeling a little foolish. I’d been a brainwashed fool. I accepted Eric’s self-satisfying lies with no question. Sitting up, I hugged my legs to my chest and accepted the offered glass, taking a grateful gulp. Liquid fire burned a path down my throat, loosening the tightness in my chest.

“Soooooo,” she dragged the word out, hand on her towel-clad hip, swinging the drink from her fingertips. “What happened next?”

Taking another gulp for courage, I blurted out the rest of the story. “—And then he cornered me and told me I
belong
to him!”

“Well, you kinda do, sweetie. True mates belong to each other. That’s how it is, true mates
want
to belong to each other, or at least in my experience they do.”

Did I want to belong to James? Sipping the vodka and coke slowly, I rolled the idea around my mind, testing out how it felt, searching for niggles of worry. But — nothing. Deep inside I knew Lisa was right, I
did
belong to James. Like he belonged to me. The thought scared the shit out of me!

Avoiding Lisa’s eyes, I mumbled, “Well, what if maybe you’re right? I just don’t know if I can…not with how things were with Eric.”

“You need to stop comparing them, Kara,” Lisa said, sighing heavily. “James is not like Eric one bit! You need to start trusting in the Mother. She would not choose a bad man for you, not as a true mate.”