Promise of Shadows (20 page)

And does Nanda have similar erebos markings hidden somewhere under her clothing? How many other vættir are marked like me?
There is too much that I still don’t know. But they’re questions for another, less hectic time, and I file them away for later.
We continue along the path a while longer. The brightness fades, and the landscape becomes less cartoonish and more familiar. A little too perfect to be the Mortal Realm though. The darkness inside of me doesn’t feel so skittish anymore, and I’m kind of beginning to enjoy my stroll through paradise.
Hades stops before the door of a house painted in shades of cream and lavender. He turns to me.“The woman you knew as your mother is gone, but her shade resides here. She is the same person, but different. An echo of who she was in life. Do you understand?”
I consider his words and then nod. I don’t really know what he means by that, but I guess I’ll figure it out.
Hades knocks, and a woman with giant wings, dark skin, and candy-apple red hair answers the door. “Yes?”
“Mourning Dove. I have brought our daughter. She wishes to speak with you regarding her conception.”
My face burns at the way he puts it, and the woman at the door smiles wide when she sees me. “Darling, how are you? Oh, you have grown since I saw you last.” The woman gathers me up in a cinnamon-sugar-scented embrace, and I awkwardly hug her back. I can’t ever remember hugging my mom, and she never called me darling. But this strange woman looks just like my mother.
She stands back and smiles at me. I take a step back, unsure how to react. “Come in, won’t you? I was just making a pie.” She steps back and I start to follow her in. Hades doesn’t move.
“I will fetch you when you are done,” he says, before disappearing in a swirl of shadows.
My mother closes the door behind me. She gestures at the kitchen table. “Please, have a seat.”
I take the only chair, and as soon as I sit, another one appears across the table. It startles me, and she laughs. “That’s the Fields for you. Always providing what you need.”
She sits across from me, all smiles. It’s seriously creeping me out. I can’t remember my mother wearing any expression except for a scowl. “Are you all right?”
“Me? Of course! Why do you ask?”
“You, um . . . you’re smiling a lot. I don’t remember you smiling this much when you were alive.”
“Oh well, that’s because living is pain. But this is death. And death? Well, it’s painless.” She sighs, but it’s the kind of breathless sigh people give when they’re happy. “Some days I miss living, but then I remember what a struggle it was. Always worrying and fighting. Here we only fight because it’s something to do.”
I nod like I know, but I don’t. Now I know what Hades meant when he warned me about this woman being an echo of my mother. My mom would’ve kicked this smiling woman’s ass.
I clear my throat. “So, I just found out that Hades is my father. I guess I just wanted to know why.”
Mom purses her lips. “Well, let me think. That was a very dark time in my life, so I don’t necessarily remember it as well as some of the other times. I came down to Tartarus to save the sister of a friend. A minor goddess who’d fallen for one of the dark lords, a fringe god named Typhaon.”
I nod. That sounds like something my mom would do. She was fiercely loyal to her friends. “Okay.”
“Well, long story short, the rescue didn’t quite go as we planned. I was gravely injured and pretty close to death. As you may know, dying in Tartarus can leave your shade in limbo. So I prayed to Hades for help.” Her eyes are far away as she smiles. “It was the only time I prayed to a god other than Athena.”
“And Hades answered.”
She blinks, and the dreamy look fades from her eyes. “Yes. He was so handsome, all swirling shadows and brooding godliness. Anyway, with his help I made it back to the Mortal Realm with my friend. Three years later, you came along.”
I blink. “You were pregnant with me for three years?”
Mom laughs, the sound tinkling and completely foreign. “Oh no, dear. Hades came to visit me in the Mortal Realm. Your sister adored him. He used to create animals out of the shadows for her, and she would chase them around the house.”
Another shard of betrayal lodges in my heart. “Whisper knew who my father was?”
“Of course! As did the Matriarch. Hades was in the Aerie more than any other male. The Matriarch almost changed the Aerie’s patron deity to the King of the Dead, but she knew it would piss Athena off something fierce. The old bird was a big believer in the Nyx prophecy.”
It all makes sense.The Matriarch’s disappointment, her pointed statements. I’d always thought I was falling short as a Harpy, but it turns out I was just not the hero the woman wanted me to be.
An entire childhood of misery because of a prophecy I never knew about.
“Why didn’t anyone ever tell me?” I hate how whiny it sounds.
“Zephyr, your ignorance bought your safety. The Aerie had some power, but it was nothing compared to the Acolytes. If they ever suspected who you were, you would’ve been dead. The fewer people that knew the better.”
Something occurs to me. “What about Nanda? Did she know?”
Mom purses her lips as she thinks.“Well, I suppose she must’ve. I think she suspected when you were younger, but things didn’t really come to a head until later . . . ah, yes, now I remember. It was that child you were so fond of. That’s what caused me to tell her.”
“What child? You mean Tallon?”
“Yes! I saw him using erebos during one of their visits and told Nanda never to bring him back again. If you had come into contact with the shadows, it would’ve ruined everything, and you weren’t ready to be revealed yet. You just weren’t strong enough.”
I frown as I try to make sense of her words. “The erebos? What would’ve happened if I’d come into contact with his shadows?”
My mom stares at me, her eyes bright with unshed tears. “Why, the seal your father put on your powers when you were born would’ve been destroyed.There would’ve been no way to hide you from the Acolytes, and you would’ve been dead within a few months. They would’ve killed you.”
“But I used the erebos once, when I was younger. For a magic test.”
She purses her lips as she thinks. “Perhaps the binding was flawed. Although I do remember that danger was supposed to let you utilize the erebos. So maybe you were scared enough to pull power through the seal.” I consider her words. It makes sense. I was terrified of my mother, so failing magic would’ve been scary enough to allow me to access the power. Killing Ramun Mar the night he murdered Whisper had been a mistake, and my desperation must’ve somehow managed to break through the binding placed on my dark powers. The day I first met Hades, he must’ve removed the remainder of the seal. That’s why I felt so out of control when I returned to the Mortal Realm.
But that doesn’t help me make sense of everything else. My mom slept with the King of the Dead to help fulfill a prophecy. She never really wanted me, she just wanted to save the day.
I was her ultimate weapon, a sword to be forged and honed and eventually wielded in battle. Meeting with this bright, smiling woman that is the echo of my mother has only managed to make me feel even more alone.
I stand too quickly, and the chair falls over before disappearing. A flicker of worry crosses my mother’s face. Her wings droop a little. “What’s wrong?”
I shake my head and force a smile. “Nothing. I just need to get back. Hera’s Acolytes are stirring up trouble, and I need to take care of it.”
And just like that her worry is gone. She grins at me.“Of course. Tell your sister I said hello.”
It hurts to smile, but I do it anyway. “I will,” I say.The lie scrapes along the hollow in my chest. Whisper should be here with her. It’s a reminder that I still have so much left to do.
I smile and give the stranger who is my mother one last wave. Then I escape out the front door.
Once I’m back outside, I call for Hades, hysteria in my voice. I need to get back to the Mortal Realm. I need some space to think, to work through the things I’ve learned.
Everyone has lied to me. It’s enough to make me want to scream.
Hades appears. “Ready?”
It’s a loaded question. I sigh and bury my face in my hands. “So, what’s next? I go and fight Hera?”
“Yes. She and Ramun Sol have my shades. I want them back.”
I look at Hades. He sounds like a bad breakup song. Nice that he made this about him and not the annihilation of the shadow vættir. “What about after?”
He frowns. “After what?”
“After I destroy Hera, after I keep her from doing this spell or whatever. What comes after?”
Hades levels a gaze at me. “I do not believe there will be an after.”
Oh, this just keeps getting better. “You think I’ll die?”
“Yes. But you should not worry. Death is not so bad. Look how happy your mother is.” I give him a look of disbelief. My mother is not happy; she’s a completely different person. “All things die,” he says. He doesn’t even sound like he believes the halfhearted pep talk.
I want to scream. Not even the bright shiny version of my conception that my mom just gave me makes up for the knowledge that I was born to fulfill some stupid prophecy. I want to rail at the gods, to smite them and manipulate their futures for my own amusement. I hate them. I hate their childish games and the way they suck unwitting mortals into their games of power. If I could, I would make them know how it feels.
But I don’t have that kind of power. As angry as I am, I know I can only play the hand that I was dealt. They have a saying in the Underworld:
Life’s a bitch.
But I kind of think dying, even heroically, might be worse.
I stretch. “Fine. So I go back, try to stop Hera, maybe die. Any ideas of where she might strike?”
Hades’s mantle of darkness flares around him. Another bit of darkness detaches itself and writhes over to me. I accept it without a word. Nice to know someone has some faith in me.
“She will need a powerful Node to conduct the spell she is attempting. I would look at the confluences of great rivers. They are very powerful places.”
“Great. Thanks.” That only leaves the entire world. How many confluences are there in the world? Five? Fifty? I wish I was better at geography. Who would even know the answer to that? I’m pretty sure that the Oracle is not going to be happy to see me again, considering what the cerberus did to his trailer. North or one of her Hecate friends might have a better idea. Maybe someone can give them a call. At this point I’m running out of options. Not that I had many to begin with.
I glance around, looking for a door or something. There’s nothing but cottages and butterflies. What is up with all of the butterflies? I swat at one in annoyance.
I clear my throat. “How am I supposed to get back to the Mortal Realm?”
Hades closes the distance between us. He rests his hands on my shoulders, and the movement is both reassuring and disconcerting. It’s strange to think of this man and his constantly shifting darkness as my father, but at the same time it makes me hopeful. Hades is the most fearsome of all the Exalteds. Maybe I actually have a chance at success.
Hades pulls me close for a quick hug.His darkness swirls around me affectionately for a moment. My own rises up in response, not as strong, but just as fierce. “You have far exceeded my expectations, Zephyr Mourning, Godslayer and Lady of Darkness. Best luck in fulfilling your Promise,” he says. His words fill me with confidence.
Before I can thank him, he picks me up and throws me. I fly through the air, through a cold darkness that I figure is the Rift, and land hard on a road. I roll around in agony until the pain fades, gravel crunching beneath my body.
I much prefer Tallon’s way of traveling the realms.
I open my eyes, and my heart leaps. The Oracle, Ricki, Blue, and Alora all look down at me, their eyes wide with shock. I force a grin.
“Hey, guys. What did I miss?”

has apparently made it his mission to figure out where I went. I’ve been gone for almost two weeks. What seemed like an afternoon for me was ten days of searching and scrying for Alora, Jimmy the Oracle, and Blue.

I’m not sure what Tallon’s been up to. Everyone kind of just looks away when I mention him.
“We didn’t know what happened to you. We thought the worst,” Alora says. We sit amid the chaos of Jimmy and Ricki’s ruined trailer, drinking warm beers out of an ice chest. Jimmy hangs around outside waiting for Blue’s return, and Ricki picks things out of the wreckage and stuffs them into a backpack. Today she looks like a female version of Jimmy: lank brown hair, pale skin, and skinny to the point of looking sick. I get the feeling that’s her true appearance. Alora told me Ricki and Jimmy are siblings, so it makes sense they’d look alike.
The ruined trailer became the base of operations while everyone tried to figure out what happened to me. Most of the trailer park was abandoned after the cerberus attack. The cover story is that a tornado damaged most of the trailers. The residents are all currently living in a nearby hotel or staying with relatives since the trailer park was evacuated and most of the homes condemned.
“Do you guys have somewhere to go?” I ask Ricki. I hate that they’re homeless because of me. It’s not like I have somewhere to live either, but I feel like the least I can do is ask.
Ricki nods and grins. “Oh, yeah. Jimmy’s the Oracle, so he can call in a bunch of favors. We’re thinking of heading south. He’s been talking to Blue about Ulysses’s Glen. It sounds like a nice place, you know?” Ricki touches her hair gently. “It might be nice to be around our own kind for a while.” She hefts the backpack and gives me a weak wave. “See you around.”
I nod and take a deep drink of my beer. I’ve never had one before, but seeing as I’m supposed to die pretty soon, it seems like a good time to try it out. The beer is bubbly and it makes me burp, but that’s about all I can say for it.
Blue and Tallon walk up the ruined stairs as Ricki slides past them out the gaping doorway. Tallon looks tired. Dark circles surround his eyes, and his steps seem to drag. He brightens a little as he sees me, and a rush of excitement trills through me. “You’re back.” There’s a tinge of something in his voice. Relief ? Was he actually worried about me?
I take another drink of my beer to hide the emotions that well up inside. Hope and embarrassment tangle around whatever I feel for Tallon. “Yeah, I’m back. Woo-hoo.” My voice is flat, and I focus on thinking about how much it hurt when he vaulted off the bed and ran out the door. I will not feel anything for him but apathy.
Tallon gives me a long look and reaches into the ice chest for his own beer. He’s all scratched to hell, and I pat the couch cushion next to me. I am the coolest cucumber ever. He gives me a hesitant look before plopping down on it. And no, my heart doesn’t race the tiniest bit at having him near me.
He pops open the beer and takes a drink. “So, what’s new?”
After everyone got over their initial shock, I’d filled them in on what happened, leaving out the part about Hermes. He kept his promise, but now I have more questions. Did he know that Hades is my father? Did he love Whisper? And did she really die because of her relationship with him? Or was it because of me? Was Whisper killed because the Acolytes suspected I was the Nyx?
I’m not sure I want to know the answer to that.
Everyone was surprised when I told them Hades was my father, except for the Oracle. Jimmy just grinned at me. “Oh, there are all kinds of secrets swirling around you. I can’t wait to find out what they are. You’re going to have an interesting life.”
That gave me some hope that maybe I’d survive my confrontation with Hera.
Until I remembered that Jimmy hadn’t been able to figure out where she was going to attack, or anything else even remotely useful.
I tilt my head and grin at Tallon. “Hmm, what’s new? Let’s see . . . I rode a cerberus to Hell, found out Hades was my dad, talked to my dead mother who is now a bowl full of sunshine, and lost ten days. Good times.”
Tallon slurps at his beer. “Rode a cerberus, huh?”
I shrug, like finding out the King of the Dead is my dad doesn’t make me question everything I know about myself. What other lies was I told? I push my questions aside and give Tallon what I hope is a carefree smile. “Yeah, no big deal. You can do that sort of thing when you’re the Nyx.”
Tallon drains the entire beer and then tosses the can to the side. It bounces off the broken TV before landing next to the rest of the debris. “Wow.”
“Yup.” I take a gulp of my beer and grimace. I’d really prefer a soda instead. It would taste better.
Alora props her chin on her fist and watches us from her perch on a nearby footstool. “I don’t suppose the Dark Lord was able to tell you where Hera and Ramun Sol will strike?”
“Actually, he did. He said it would have to be a powerful Node. I guess the most powerful ones are near the confluences of two or more rivers.”
Alora groans. “How many of those are there in the world?”
I shrug. “Maybe North would know? With a name like that it seems like she might be good at geography.”
Tallon gives me a look. “Tell me you aren’t making fun of other people’s names,
Zephyr
,” he says. Not in a snotty way, but teasing like he used to back in the day.
“Whatever,
Tallon
, just see if she has any ideas.”
He pulls a cell phone out of his pocket with a grin.“I’ll call North. She and the other Hecate might have noticed some activity at one of the bigger Nodes.There’s only a day until the new moon. It seems like the Acolytes should be making preparations right about now.”
Tallon stands up and moves away as he dials North’s number. He has it memorized? A stab of jealousy zings through me. I want to know why he has her number memorized. Did he date her at some point? Is she just more his type? Is that why he bolted back in the hotel room? Was it because he couldn’t imagine himself with me?
I swallow a groan. I need to just stop. I shouldn’t even be thinking about Tallon; I should be focused on Hera and Ramun Sol. That’s more than enough to worry about.
Blue watches us with his arms crossed. “We should probably get going. We need to get back to Ulysses’s Glen before Nanda gets worried about us.”
Alora stands and stretches. “Yeah, I need to get back to the university. They’re going to want to know how the meeting went.” She groans and hides her face. “How am I supposed to tell them that the Oracle is trailer trash?”
Blue gives her a dirty look. “Hey, everyone comes from somewhere. Besides, he really helped us out the past few days.”
I drop the half-full beer on the ground next to me. I’ve had enough. “Oh?” I’m intrigued by Blue’s response. He never gets short with Alora, and the trailer’s exploded with the bleach-andpine scent of his indignation.
Tallon tucks his phone into his pocket and laughs. “Ignore Blue. He’s just smitten. Jimmy just gave him his number before he and Ricki left. Even a little kiss good-bye.” Tallon grabs another beer, pops it open, and drains it. It’s hard not to watch him. His movements are so fluid and hypnotizing. Tallon catches me, and I look away, my face hot. Sadly, I can relate to what Blue’s feeling. Against my better judgment, I’m also feeling pretty smitten.
Alora snort laughs as she stands. “Aw, Blue, it’s okay.The Oracle was kind of dirty hot.”
Blue’s expression is calm, but the burning-flowers stink of his hurt feelings is overwhelming. I sigh. “Shut up, Alora. Stop being such a snob.”
She clamps her mouth closed and gives me a worried look. The darkness has risen up at my irritation, and thin tendrils of black smoke rise up from my arms. “I’ll be in the car,” she says, pushing past Blue and out the door. The rancid-orange stink of her fear lingers even after she’s gone.
“Thanks.” Blue gives me a worried look. “Should you be leaking like that?”
I glance down at my arms and shrug. “Who knows? This is nothing compared to Hades’s mantle of shadows. It’s probably normal.”
“Tallon doesn’t emit like that.”
Tallon gives Blue a pointed look. “Zephyr is much more powerful than I am.”
Blue nods, but the moldy-bread smell of his worry just gets stronger. “Okay. Well, it’s good to have you back, Zeph.” He gives Tallon a pointed look. “You guys hurry up so we can get going.” Then he follows Alora to the car.
“What was that all about?” I ask, standing and stretching.
Tallon shrugs. “I don’t know.” He leans against the broken refrigerator. He looks like a magazine ad for expensive cologne, a hot guy standing in the middle of wreckage. He catches me staring at him again, and I clear my throat at the unspoken question in his raised eyebrow.
“What did North have to say?”
Tallon’s brows knit together. “Who? Oh, North. She’s going to check on it. She said they’ve noted some activity on the Paths, mostly just the Acolytes. No different than usual, though.”
I move toward the door, and Tallon maneuvers in front of me, blocking my path. I cross my arms and sigh. “What?”
Tallon shifts from foot to foot. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen him uncomfortable. “I have something I need to say.” I can see the guilt forming in his eyes, and I suddenly feel sick. If he apologizes for kissing me, I will kill him.
The darkness surges around me, and I fight to calm it. “Save it, Tallon. There’s nothing I need to hear from you.”
“No, you do. I owe you an apology.”
I shake my head so hard that I make myself dizzy. I can’t do this. Fear and hurt collide in my middle, and I’m angry and sick. I don’t want to hear whatever it is he has to say. “No, don’t do this. There’s nothing you need to apologize for. We’re just friends. I get that. Let’s just get this whole thing over with so we can go back to our lives.” I don’t give him a chance to respond. I push past him and stumble out of the trailer. Tears well in my eyes, because I can fill in the rest of what Tallon was going to say.
Rejection doesn’t hurt any less when it comes in the honey-coated words of your childhood best friend.
I blink my tears away and climb into the back of the car, slamming the door so hard that Blue turns around to look at me.
“What’s going on?”
I force a smile. “Nothing. Why?”
Blue frowns at me but doesn’t say anything, just turns back around. I study my cuticles so that I won’t have to make eye contact with anyone.The darkness settles, fading away so that the only sign of it are the swirling designs on my arms. Tallon opens the door and climbs inside the car, but I don’t look at him. I can’t. If I did, I might cry.
“So, what’s next? Lunch?”I say. I’m trying very hard to act lighthearted. Inside, I’m dying a little. All I can think of are Whisper’s words to me so long ago.
It looks like she was right after all. Romance isn’t for vættir like us.