Promise Canyon (29 page)

“I didn’t call him,” Clay said. “I was anxious to find you. Now I’m anxious to get you back and call him to be sure there were no injuries at the feed store. That was a big earthquake.” He put a foot in the stirrup, pulled himself up into the saddle and reached out a hand to her.

She didn’t move.

“Come on,” he said. “We need to get back and be sure Yaz is all right.”

She sighed and put her hand into his. “Careful, please,” she said.

He wrapped his hand around her wrist to avoid the cuts and scrapes on her palm. “Foot on my foot,” he said.

She did so and he effortlessly lifted her onto the horse in front of him. He settled her around the horn, sitting sideways.

“There have been aftershocks,” she pointed out. “How’s Streak handling this?”

“He’s a little jittery, but solid. Good, for Streak. I
think we’re safe along the road.” He turned the horse and went back toward the clinic. “Now, here’s what I want to explain…

“Isabel and her family were so alien to me when I met them, I had no idea how complex they were. I mean, we have plenty of ordinary old dysfunction in the Tahoma family, but nothing that could prepare me for the Sorensons. I took the job for the exposure to other breeders and for the money, which was excellent. And she seemed a sweet woman with a cruel and domineering father, an absent mother who didn’t care about her…. I had been a very long time without a woman in my life and it was natural for me to be attracted to her, to be willing to protect her. She’s ten years older than I am, Lilly, and about a hundred times more screwed up. And that’s comical—with my history, I should be the one messed up.”

“You really don’t have to make excuses for falling for her,” Lilly said. “I saw her. I saw that horse trailer.”

Clay smiled. Dane had suggested that the horse trailer had filled Lilly with envy. Well, small wonder—he had loved that horse trailer himself. He could live in that trailer for the rest of his life and be happy, as long as there wasn’t horseshit in it. He laughed at his thought.

“Funny?” Lilly asked.

“Not at all. Damn fine trailer, isn’t it? The Sorenson family wipe their asses with hundred dollar bills.”

“How delightful,” she said.

“Her looks and possessions haven’t brought her much comfort. She…Isabel…was always at odds with her parents, especially her father. She was either in ecstasy because he praised her or in a deep depression because he was disappointed in her. This had nothing to do with
me for a long time. She liked me, she seduced me, I was pretty easy prey—I was lonely and I worked hard. She asked me to live with her and I wouldn’t without her father’s permission, which came grudgingly. She was the one who wanted to be married, though she wouldn’t visit my family on the reservation or have them at our private wedding. She wouldn’t take my name. There was a long history of terrible relationships in her past and I stupidly thought that was the reason she didn’t want to make a big deal out of our marriage, but it went deeper. I slowly realized that marrying a Navajo challenged her father. That was the only way she could stand up to him or get his attention. When she wanted a divorce two years later I wasn’t surprised at all. But she couldn’t let go.”

“Ah! And was she the only one who couldn’t let go?” Lilly asked.

“Yes,” he answered. “Yes, she sought me out sometimes, but I never went to her. That’s one of the reasons this job and this move appealed to me so much—I really couldn’t deal with Isabel’s controlling nature, her sick relationship with her father, her manipulation of me. Lilly, I don’t know what has made her the way she is—abuse, certainly. I can’t explain why I was so involved with her—sucked right into the craziness, maybe. But I don’t love Isabel. Now I’m not sure I ever did.”

“But I heard you tell her you’d always love her!”

“Yes, I said that. If you’d just listened a second longer you would have heard the rest. I was telling her I’d always love her, care about her, but we had to move on, move away from the relationship we had, that I couldn’t be there for her anymore. I had already told her there was a woman in my life. But she’s always had a terrible
fear of having love withdrawn from her. I was going to tell her I loved her enough to wish her well.” He ground his teeth. “All that has changed now.”

“Changed how?”

“I don’t feel sorry for her anymore. I didn’t realize how petty and selfish she could be. And why didn’t I? The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Her father is a horrible parent. Whether we like it or not, the people who raise us leave an indelible mark.” He pulled Streak to a stop. He lifted Lilly’s chin and turned her to face him. “Isabel is a sad and damaged woman, and I did my best to honor my commitment, Lilly. But that is far in my past. I love
you.
”

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yes, absolutely. I’m sorry for the way she treated you. I can’t say how she knew you were the woman in my life—”

Lilly laughed. “Somehow, women can just sense who their competition is.”

“I can hear the horses think, but I never figured out women,” he said. “I had no idea she was coming and I was telling her to go away in the nicest possible way. Once you ran from me I lost all my patience and told her to just get out of here.”

“Why should I believe this, Clay?”

“There’s a more urgent question,” he said. “What happened to you to make you unwilling to believe me? To be tempted to throw away things that made you so happy, like our love, like Blue, like working with Annie? What the hell happened to you?”

“I just have so much pride—”

“Bullshit,” he said. “Take a risk. See what happens
when you let me in, tell me the truth. So, you had a rotten romance. You mentioned it once. Is that it?”

“Bad relationship,” she said with a shrug. “Painful breakup…”

“So who hasn’t? I told you about mine—one when I was a kid, one more recent than that,” he said. “Maybe we’re both due a break.”

“You might find I’m at least as screwed up as Isabel, and where would that leave you?”

“Try me,” he begged.

“It was very bad,” she said by way of explanation. “I was young.”

He laughed lightly. “Younger than sixteen?” he asked.

She turned and looked up at him. “Thirteen,” she said.

After a moment of shock, he tightened his arm around her. “Honey. I’m sorry. That’s just too young for a girl to go through something like that. At least you weren’t made a mother.”

“But…but yes, I was. At only thirteen, a virgin who had given it up to a bad boy of eighteen, pregnant, and he ran like a fox.”

He was so still that Streak stopped walking. Clay leaned down and nuzzled his cheek against hers. “Your child?” he asked in a whisper.

She looked into her lap. “I lost the baby. Probably a blessing—I wasn’t ready to be a mother, obviously.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“And when you came along, I wasn’t ready to risk a relationship again. I feel as if I’ll never be ready.”

“But you were just a girl then. You’re a woman now,” he reassured her.

“That’s what Dane said. But talk about damaged!” she said.

“You’d be surprised how many people survive things like this and go on to make better lives. People have survived so much worse—consider our ancestors.”

“God, I felt like a princess, that he’d chosen me, though I had no idea how many he’d chosen before and after me. When I told him I was pregnant, he said it couldn’t be his.” She laughed hollowly. “As if I’d had lovers! He was the first and only! My grandfather loaded his rifle and my boyfriend ran for his life—but he’d already left me for at least a couple of girls. At only thirteen, my reputation was toast. That’s when my grandpa decided we had to move, to start over. There were so many times growing up I felt that I’d lost everything—when I realized my mother left me when I was weeks old, when my grandmother died and was never coming back, when my grandfather took me away from home to try to save me from myself. And the boyfriend, denying he had any feelings for me and running from my grandfather’s rifle…” She turned her head and looked up at him. “I just didn’t think I could go through all that again. That’s why it was so hard for me to trust.”

“I’m going to find a way to show you that I’m the exception.”

Tears began to roll down her cheeks. “I meant to be strong—I hate weakness. I didn’t want to cry in front of you.”

He wiped away the tears with the pad of his thumb. “I want you to cry
only
in front of me.”

“I have been so afraid to love anyone…”

“Of course you have, but that part of your life is in
the past. And we have more important business. We have to move forward together now.”

“What if love just isn’t enough? What if we can’t make it work?”

“Bull. We’ve made lots of things work,” he said. “You know, one of the many reasons I couldn’t be a successful husband to Isabel—she nurtured her pain. Silently. She never threw it out there and told me everything that happened to her and how she wanted to get past it—I was always fighting an invisible demon.

“So—we have our junk,” he said to her. “I think one way to handle it—after we make love, when we’re soft and vulnerable—we should talk. Hold each other and talk about things that bother us, worry us. I promise to be honest. I promise to be patient.” He kissed her lips lightly, tenderly. Then he lifted her chin again so he could look into those haunting blue eyes. “Can you, Lilly? Can you try with me? Because I love you so much.”

When she glanced away from him she saw that the Jensen Stables had come into view. She looked back. “I’m not sure,” she said. “I’m still afraid.”

“Of pain? Of unhappiness? Of finding your love not returned? Of being left all alone? What?”

Her mouth curved in a slight, painful smile. “Yes,” she said.

He slowly closed in on her lips and covered them in a passionate kiss. Her arms found their way around him, pulling him close, her mouth moving under his. When their kiss broke, he smiled into her eyes.

“Well, my little sweetheart, be warned. I’m not giving up. I’m not letting you go. I love you, you love me and there’s no way we can give up. Not now. In fact, I think
we’ve been put through the hard times to get to this place—to find the good ones.”

“I think you’re probably just a fool,” she told him. But she licked the taste of him off her lips and he laughed.

He nudged Streak into a nice, steady trot back to the clinic, holding her tight against him to keep her safe and warm.

A
iden Riordan had visited his brother, Colin, as promised, to assess his situation with the pain meds. To his enormous relief, everything seemed to be pretty manageable at the time. Oh, Colin was still quite uncomfortable and irritable, but as Aiden clearly witnessed he was doing fine with nonnarcotic pain meds, anti-inflammatory medication and lots of ice packs. His pals from his unit were available and helping him out; it all appeared to be under control. After a couple of days, Aiden left his brother in the care of his physical therapists.

A lot had happened in the three weeks since then— Virgin River and the surrounding area had been through an earthquake with damage. Luckily, no severe injuries, just a few bumps and cuts. As for Aiden, he’d been concentrating on getting himself a doctoring job in Chico, California, where he’d be making his home with his fiancée, Erin. He’d had quite a few interviews with that purpose in mind. Honestly? Although he talked to Colin at least three times a week, he’d forgotten there
was anything to worry about besides the length of his recovery.

But then a call came from the Columbus, Georgia police department. Colin Riordan had given Aiden’s name as his contact. According to the police, Colin had been caught in a DEA sting on a local physician who wrote willy-nilly prescriptions for narcotic drugs. Or, maybe not so willy-nilly; Dr. Feelgood was a known dealer of prescription drugs and the DEA had been staking him out for a long time with the complete cooperation and assistance of the local police. The arrest went down just as Colin was leaving the doctor’s office with a prescription for OxyContin in his grip.

Apparently Colin was no longer able to get his drugs from the Army doctor and had taken his habit downtown. The Army wasn’t going to like that.

Word traveled fast in the Riordan family; the brothers were thicker than thieves. On this occasion, however, Aiden decided to act independently. He even talked it over with Erin. “He’s in trouble, he’s in pain, he’s not healed yet. Nothing about this is going to go well. He needs help. I’m going alone,” he told Erin. “I’m going to find him the best possible help—physical therapy along with rehab. And if he’s not completely cooperative, I’m turning the family loose on him.”

“Wow,” she said. “Remind me to never mess with the Riordan boys.”

“You know what? I bet he was onto me the last visit. He knew Patrick called us all and complained about the pain meds. He toughed it out for a few days and the second I was gone, he cut loose. Well, there’s no getting out of this one.”

“Sounds like you could be gone awhile,” she said.

“Long enough to be sure he’s committed. There’s a really good place in Arizona, close enough for me to check on him.”

“You planning to keep this from your brothers?” she asked.

“Oh, hell, no! Once Colin is pretty much locked up and in a program I’ll call everyone, even my mother and George. But a family reunion right now? Colin might not go for that—in fact, it might not be the best thing for him. I don’t want to push him too far. I want him off the drugs.”

“I don’t really feel like I know Colin,” Erin said. “Your other brothers have been so easy to know, but Colin…well, he’s fun like the others, but holds back in a way. He’s the different one.”

“He’s not much fun right now, that’s for sure,” Aiden said. But he’d been caught by the police and there was no way out. He was naked. Exposed. Fortunately for Colin, the judge had a son serving in Afghanistan. He released Colin to Aiden for treatment and suspended his sentence.

Aiden managed to get to Columbus quickly and without anyone else in the family knowing. He transported Colin to Tucson, but it wasn’t easy. Aiden had the assistance of a little Valium to grease the skids; he wished he’d taken Patrick’s panicked phone call several weeks ago more seriously. He wished he’d managed to see the real Colin during his own previous two-day visit. The guy was strung out on one of the most addictive prescription pain meds on the market. He’d been doubling up; his Army doc had given him something for sleep, completely unaware of the narcotic pain med. And Colin was still in pain—lots of things hurt.

Before they checked into the treatment center, Aiden confronted him one last time. “You want off this shit and a new start?” Aiden asked him.

“How? I can’t sleep three hours in a row. My body hurts so bad it’s unimaginable! You got any ideas that aren’t going to kill me?”

“I know you aren’t going to believe this for a good three weeks, but the answer is in getting off narcs and on the right meds. There will still be some pain, but most of what you’ve been feeling lately is your body’s response to the absence of drugs. It’s gonna get better, I promise.”

“Have you told them all? Are they all on their way?”

“No. After you’re settled in I’ll call everyone and explain. That’s the first they’ll even know where you are. All you have to do is select who you want to take calls from while you’re in treatment.” Aiden shrugged. “You can say no one—you won’t be punished. You’ll have to talk to them eventually, but if you want to wait until you’re better, that’s reasonable.”

“I don’t want to do this,” Colin said.

“Who would? It’s gonna be a big step, a hard step. You won’t believe this now, but you’re lucky—you haven’t been on drugs half your life. In a few weeks you’ll feel like a new man—”

“A new man full of broken bones, titanium rods and screws?”

“I have you set up,” Aiden said. “I know—you think you’re the first guy to have a bad accident, take a lot of painkillers and wind up in treatment, but guess what? They’ve seen you before. You’re going to treat the addiction and the rehab at the same time and you
are
going to get better. All you have to do is go with the program.”

“The Army isn’t covering it, so who is? You?”

“It’s me today, but after I make a few phone calls…”

“I don’t want to be into all of you for this!” he railed. “I’ll pay you back! I don’t want you guys doing this!”

“Whatever floats your boat,” Aiden said. “How about we sort that out after you’re discharged? Right now you have two choices—this place or jail. What’s your pleasure?” And then he smiled.

“Arrggghhh,” Colin growled.

“Just get in there, will you?” Aiden said. “I’m so ready for you to be someone else’s problem!”

“And I’m so ready to be the hell away from you,” Colin said, as though he’d completely forgotten who had the Valium that had made the trip bearable.

Aiden’s first phone call was to Erin. “He’s in,” he said. “I hope they have really good locks on the doors. He’s real unstable.”

“You think he’ll stay?” Erin asked.

“We’re not going to know the end of that story till the end of that story,” Aiden replied.

For the third time in as many months, a row of pickup trucks and a bunch of men gathered along the road into Virgin River. Clay Tahoma and Lilly Yazhi were riding horses from the Jensen Clinic along the road for several miles when they spotted the road construction site.

It had been a few weeks since the earthquake and what little damage it had done had been repaired. Also, the damage to Lilly’s love affair with Clay. It turned out he was right—talking when they were soft, pliable, vulnerable and grateful seemed to work wonders for a relationship. In the time since that earthquake, they’d
spent a lot of time with Nate and Annie—some of it mending their fences and some of it just enjoying couple time. Lilly was so relieved to be working at the clinic and spending what time she could spare with the horses and the most important people in her life.

There was a lot of noisy activity along the side of the road. Lilly was astride Blue but Clay rode one of the calmer Jensen horses. They approached the construction site slowly and cautiously, making sure their mounts weren’t overwhelmed by the people, the noise, the confusion.

Clay was the first to dismount, leading his horse toward the men. Jack Sheridan was standing at the rear of the group of men. He turned and greeted Clay with a handshake. “Hey, haven’t seen you around in a while. I hope that doesn’t mean damage from the earthquake.”

“No—everything was fine at the clinic. How about at the bar?”

“Some broken glass, but nothing too serious.”

“What’s going on here?” Lilly asked.

“Well,” he said, rubbing a hand along the back of his neck. “This seems to be a weak spot in the road—not only weak, but on a curve with a drop-off. We’ve had more than one vehicle hit this soft shoulder and slide down the hill. Even had a school bus go down—fulla kids. Me and Preacher have written the county and highway department a bunch of times asking for some reinforcement and guardrails, but we always get denied.” He shrugged. “We’re a real small, unincorporated town without much traffic. We’re pretty low on the priority list right now, during a recession.”

Clay lifted his chin at all the action. “So what’s this?” he asked.

“Well, remember that old woman who died—the one we had that estate sale for? She left a trust for the town. There’s been a lot of disagreement about what to do with it, but she was always about taking care of the town. Seemed like it made sense for us to do it ourselves before someone gets killed on this curve.” Jack Sheridan grinned. “We like ’em smiling when they come into our town.”

“How’d you get all this heavy equipment?” Clay asked.

“Friends of friends made a lot of phone calls. We rented it. We’re going to have ourselves a concrete and stone reinforced shoulder and a nice long guardrail. We could use a wider road all the way into town, but this spot is the worst. Hey, it’s good to see you two riding together! Didn’t I hear you’d had a falling-out of some kind?”

“Us?” Lilly asked. “Must’ve been some gossip.”

“So—you’re tight?” Jack asked.

“We’re
dating,
” Lilly said. “In the Native community, you’re not
tight
until the families sit down together. We have a lot of tradition to work through.”

“And after you work through your tradition?” Jack asked.

“I don’t know,” Lilly answered with a shrug, looking to Clay for answers.

“Well…then we’ll be engaged,” Clay answered, smiling back at Lilly. “And married after that. She has to agree to have me. It could take some time, but I’m confident I can trick her into it.”

“Good,” Jack said. “Men who come to this town drop like flies. I’d hate to see one get away.”

Clay reached up to one of Lilly’s hands as she held the reins. “I never even struggled.”

It was in the deep purple shadows of night, when Clay and Lilly lay entwined in each other’s arms, that the fullness of what they had grown together became almost overwhelming to Lilly. As she ran her small hands over his beautiful bronze body, she whispered, “I love you. I find it so hard to remember why I was angry, why I feared trust so much.”

He pulled her on top of him so he could look into those unforgettable blue eyes. “Have we put those old demons to rest?”

“I think so, yes.”

“You realize that if we’re together a long time, and that’s what I want for us, there will be issues here and there? Things that have to be stared in the face, Lilly.”

“What kind of issues? Do you plan to tell your ex-wife you’ll always love her again?” She smiled at him so he’d know she was teasing.

But Clay didn’t smile. “I won’t make that mistake, but you can count on me to screw up along the way. I’m flawed.”

“You’re strong,” she said, touching his beautiful face.

“I’m not strong enough to sleep alone again. I need you in my life. And I need your strength with mine. We have to make a promise, Lilly—when trouble comes, we’ll face it together. Not alone and in silence.”

“Promise,” she said.

“I have wanted to talk to you about something—about letting me take you back to the reservation. I want you to meet my family.”

She smiled at him. “I didn’t think I’d ever go back. I take it there’s a lot of family to meet?”

“There is, but that will have to wait for another event to pass. My sister tells me our parents are coming to Grace Valley for Thanksgiving.”

“And will I meet them then?”

“They would like that, I’m sure. But first, if you agree, I’d like to ask Yaz if he’ll sit down with my family.”

She lifted an eyebrow. “What are you asking, Clay? You’d better be clear.”

“If you agree, I want you to be my wife.”

She shook her head. “You have a son. He’ll have to give his consent.”

“Oh, that’s not going to be a problem. He congratulated me on having enough intelligence to work things out with you.”

“You have to ask him, just the same,” Lilly said.

“I’ll do that. Now, what about Yaz?”

“I’m sure he’ll be very agreeable. And relieved. He was afraid I’d be an old maid and he’d be stuck with me forever. But what of your family, Clay? They’re very traditional. Will they find me acceptable?”

“They will—not that it matters. Lilly, you are the finest woman I’ve ever known and I want you for my wife if you’ll have me. No matter how the families feel.”

She gave him a short kiss. “I think if I say no, you’ll be a terrible pest. But I would like to do something special for your parents. I’ll think of what that can be.”

“You’re very sweet,” he said. “Now that the important details are settled, why don’t you go put the opera back on. Crank it up nice and loud.” He grinned. “I
like
opera.”

Lilly had been very young when she last participated in traditional Hopi ceremonies and since she was a child then, she had stayed on the sidelines. She had several long talks with Clay and with Ursula Toopeek about the old traditions. She didn’t see her future as being enmeshed in the old ways, but she wanted her future in-laws to be clear that she respected them and their traditions.

She had to go to a great deal of trouble to find her props. When a Hopi maiden wanted to show respect for the traditions, she dressed in natural fibers, skins, feathers and beads. For a vegetarian like Lilly to wear the skins of animals was a huge compromise—she limited herself to the boots and wore a woven blanket around her shoulders. But when it came to the traditional cake she would present to the mother of the groom, rather than the ceremonial mush or wheat, she chose a pineapple upside-down cake, which made Clay laugh. “I think they’ll begin to understand you, Lilly—you’re not exactly going all the way.”