Prom Queen of Disaster (21 page)

“Yeah.”

“My brothers probably remember.”

“Ask them,” I said. “You might bond over it.”

He puffed out his cheeks in a defeated sigh. “Don’t bet on it,” he said.

My fingers itched to grab him by the collar and tell him to suck it up, almost like every time he saw me, he was teary-eyed.
Did I smell?

I touched his arm. “It’s Christmas tomorrow, we’re having baths before the movie. My mom bought everyone new pajamas too. Think about the future, what’s happening now, maybe after, I’ll help you go through
all
this.” He dipped his head to my eye line, almost in line to kiss me. I pulled my face away. “Are you coming?” I stood as far as the attic ceiling would let me.

He nodded. “I’ll be down in a minute.”

After that, he didn’t wallow or sit in pity, instead he smiled. If it was a fake smile, it was a convincing one at that. My dad had done his last flight until the New Year, and he’d even brought home a bag of pre-wrapped presents. He put them under the tree while we waited in the living room, fresh and clean in new pajamas.

We watched THE GRINCH. On cue, I slept through half of it, my neck strained on the arm of the chair. I woke to the credits running on screen and Kaleb tapping my arm.

“Wake up,” my mom said.

My dad already had Maddie in his arms as I stood with my phone clutched at my waist. I’d probably been texting at the time.

The cold pillow against my face in bed was welcoming. I curled up beside Oreo. He was already there; I was disturbing him. “It’s Christmas tomorrow,” I said, stroking his back.

Christmas day was an early day. Maddie would wake my parents, then they would wake me. This year, it was 8 AM before any of us woke up. My body craved to sleep longer, but when they knocked with their “Merry Christmas”, I jumped out of bed.

Our tradition meant sitting around the dining table while breakfast was served, staring at the presents beneath the tree. I knew I wasn’t getting a lot, they didn’t buy me clothes anymore, they gave me money, and we never saw our grandparents, perhaps once a year during summer if we were lucky, but at Christmas, they couldn’t travel, even though they only lived in Arizona now, they sent checks instead.

“Ready?” My dad asked, collecting our plates from the table.

We moved to circle the tree. “First present,” my mom said, picking one out at random. “Madison,” she handed the box over.

We went through all the presents until one was left. It was a small pink box with a large ribbon. My dad picked it up. “Looks forgotten,” he said, laughing to himself.

“Who’s it for?” My mom asked.

He handed it to me. “For you, Zoey.”

They stared as I tugged an end of the bow, it slipped out into one long piece of ribbon. Inside there was a piece of paper, and under the paper there was a black rectangle with a logo. I picked it out with my fingernails.

“What?” I mumbled.

“What is it?” my mom asked.

It had the VW symbol on it. “Is it?” I stared up at my dad and his smiling face. Almost ready to burst. “Omg! Where is it?”

My mom laughed. “Well it’s not under the tree,” she said.

“Is it outside?” I gulped, my hand shaking as I pulled it out of the box. It flicked open with the key, and on reverse were the function buttons.

“Put your coat on and see,” my dad said.

I skipped the coat and ran to the door. In the driveway there was a white Volkswagen Beetle. A huge red bow stuck on the hood. My hands quivered over the key as I pressed buttons. The lights flashed as the doors unlocked.

Without shoes or a jacket, I ran to it. The ground still covered in a layer of snow. It was cold, my feet froze in the ice. I sat inside and ran my hands across the steering wheel. The smell of new leather was intoxicating. I inhaled it deeply.

“You’re not wearing any shoes,” my mom said. They put their coats and shoes on in the doorway. Kaleb stood smiling, almost like he knew.

“I love it,” I said as my dad climbed into the passenger seat.

I kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you so much.”

“This is your birthday present and graduation gift,” he said, laughing. “And I’ve put you on our insurance. So, you’re insured to drive her whenever you like.”

“How do you know it’s a she?” I said.

“Because your mom chose her,” he said. “Said she had your sense of style.”

I adjusted the seat, relaxing into it. “Is this so when I go to college I’ll visit you guys at home?”

He laughed. “That’s the exact reason, investing in your future.”

It was the first thing to Instagram that day. Everything was perfect, or it would’ve been if Dylan had been there. He told me he already knew. I was surprised everyone had kept it a secret for so long.

The whirlwind of Christmas was swift and overwhelming. Dylan was back the day before New Year’s Eve. I drove all the way to his house in my new car; I hadn’t driven much, but it was smooth handling; heading everywhere without any real direction, just to drive.

Dylan welcomed me at the front door with a kiss and a hug. “Suits you,” he said, adjusting the thermal sweater to keep warm.

“Thanks.” I pulled out of his arms. “How was skiing?”

“Cold.” He laughed. “Missed you.”

Dylan’s dad stood at the bottom of the staircase behind Dylan. He waved. “Nice car, Zo,” he said.

“Thanks, Mr. McAlister,” I said, waving back. I barely saw Dylan’s dad; I knew he was extremely busy, if it wasn’t business, it was women. “Glad you didn’t hurt yourself.”

Dylan chewed on his tongue before he spoke. “One of his girlfriends is in there,” he sighed. “Maybe we can go out for food?”

I smiled. “Yeah,” I said. “Let’s grab lunch, then back to my house for a movie.”

He crinkled his nose as he smiled. “I missed that.”

“Are you getting changed?”

“I’ve got about fifty layers on.” He chuckled. “I’ll be 5 minutes.”

I waited in the car with my Britney Spears CD on full volume, singing along with all I had. Dylan knocked on the window. I sat abnormally upright, turning the volume down. He climbed into the passenger side.

“What?” I said, without any shame. “It’s Britney.”

“I’ll buy you some new CDs.” He skipped a few songs. “What’s the plan?”

“In-N-Out?” I let out a deep moan in hunger, tightening my grasp of the steering wheel. “I’m so hungry.”

“Have you eaten?”

“I headed straight over.”

He raised his eyebrows at me, skipping more songs. “Carb load before next semester starts up.”

We grabbed In-N-Out in our take-out bags. It ruined the leathery new car smell, but I wasn’t unwinding the windows and risking frost bite. Once I was back home, I made sure to hang the air freshener on the rear-view mirror.

Dylan made his way to my room while I grabbed plates and forks. I found him in my room, he was looking at rough sketches on the canvas. If it was anyone else, I would’ve thrown them out of the way, instead, I nervously moved over and looked at it with him.

“Just rough scribbles,” I said. “So—”

“Looks good.”

“You wanna choose the movie”

He shrugged. “Whatever you want.” He sat back on my bed, moving Oreo as he hissed.

I had
great
taste in films, mainly romantic comedies starring Katherine Heigl.

“
27 Dresses
,” I said, finalizing my choice.

We’d watched it several times before, and every single time I did, I wanted a montage scene
just
like hers, because trying on several outfits never took 60 seconds.

We sat and watched, eating our burgers and fries. We talked about his trip and cuddled in bed. I sketched for a little while as he slept on my shoulder with an arm around my waist. It was getting darker outside.

Char’s number flashed on my screen.

“Zo,” she said. “When are you coming over tomorrow?”

“We’re coming around eight,” I whispered, careful not to wake Dylan. “But if you want, we can come over sooner.”

“You’re coming over with Dylan?” she asked. “It starts at eight. Just making sure. Oh, and bring alcohol, if not, I’m sure Dylan can.”

“Yeah, probably.”

“Why are you whispering?” she asked.

“He’s asleep.”

She laughed. “Is Kaleb coming with you?”

“He’s got his bike,” I said, referencing to the large motorcycle in the garage. He hadn’t been able to ride it since the beating, but that was over six weeks ago now.

“Good,” she said. “Not really planned much.”

“I’m still struggling for what to wear.”

“Those outfits you tried on a few weeks back looked great,” she said. “
Oh
, if in doubt, go for something black. I’d heard my mom say that.”

Whenever I had an outfit in color, I’d always find myself wanting it in black. Not because I was a secret goth, listening to heavy metal and smudging my eyeliner, but because outfits looked better in black.

“What are you wearing?” I asked.

“I have
several
outfits,” she said. “I’ll send pictures. Talk later, got a huge list of people to call.”

“Laters.”

New Year’s Eve was a special occasion, it meant the first kiss of the new year. Dylan wore a white shirt with small black diamond shapes, and a pair of slim-fit black jeans. He was perfect beside me in my off-the-shoulder black wrap dress, I’d bought it with the girls a few weeks back, we were all in agreement.

“Are you driving?” Dylan asked, spraying his hair in place.

“Yeah,” I said, “I’ll need to pack flats. Can’t drive in heels.”

We were ready for 7 PM. “Wanna grab dinner first? Drive-thru?”

We knew we shouldn’t, with practice in the coming weeks, we should’ve opted for salads or whatever my mom was making.

“You’re not driving,” my dad said, immediately. “What if you forget the car, or you park on the road, who’s to say it won’t get stolen. I’ll drive.”

With that, the idea of fast food went out the window. Char’s mom was making food, to the extent of taking ham from the packet and throwing it inside some slices of bread.

Before we could leave for the party, my dad made me promise to be responsible, by that, he was telling me
not
to drink. I’d done my hair, applied a life-changing amount of make-up and wore clothes that made me feel
hot
, so I told him I’d be responsible, that I preferred soda anyway.

He gave me a kiss on the cheek, hesitating as if to say something else. “Have a good night, and call me if you need anything.”

Dylan took me by my waist, keeping me upright on the paved driveway. Kaleb’s bike was already there, I couldn’t imagine Ava on the back of the bike, at least not with her hair in place.

Char squealed and clapped her hands as I walked through the front door. “
Bitch!
I knew you’d work that dress,” she said, taking a step back. “You wanna drink?”

I blushed and smiled; Char’s compliments were rare. “Whatever you’re having,” I said.

“Did Benny bring the gin from m” Dylan asked.

She nodded. “Yeah, they’re in the kitchen.”

Char’s mom had the most fabulous friends. I wasn’t sure what they did, given Char’s mom was a realtor and sold houses to the rich and famous. Their hair was blown out, with their make-up
painted
on their faces with the highest cheek contours; I’d watched a Kardashian video once, pointing out all the target zones to hit. I’d even tried, safe to say my face was fifteen shades darker, almost dirty.

Char pulled me over to her mom, sat around a make-shift bar. “Zoey!” She held her arms out to hug me. “Oh
that
dress.”

“Thank you,” I said, my face flushed.

“I’ve not seen you in forever,” she said. “You smell divine. Is that Marc Jacobs?”

“Yeah,” I said. “How’d you know?” It was a gift, and I doused myself in the stuff every single day.

“Oh, if there’s one thing I know, it’s my designer perfumes,” she said, giving me a final hug to inhale the perfume. She let go and turned to Char. “Where’s the music, hon?”

Char’s mom went all out. She prepared the heated hot tub out on the back deck. I could see there was a selection of bikinis, in case you hadn’t brought yours;
nobody
had informed me this would be happening. It was freezing out.

The house was getting busier, loud music boomed and color changing lights brought the room to life. I walked around with my solo cup in one hand and my phone in the other.

“Cuties,” Ava said, taking a picture of Dylan and I as we stood beside a white wall in the house. I clung to his side and shoulder, kicking my foot up and kissing him on the cheek. “Made together.” She passed the phone back to me.

The pictures were Instagram worthy, given a nice black and white filter. Ava pulled me aside. “What’s up?” I asked her, dipping my head to hear over the music.

“Kaleb’s been off with me,” she said. “Is he okay?”

No
. “Christmas is for families,” I said. “And Kaleb’s abandoned him.”

Ava threw a hand to her forehead. “
Shit
. I knew that. I feel like a bitch now, we argued about him being moody.”

“Where’s he now?”

She shrugged. “He can’t ride his bike, he’s been drinking, so he’s somewhere.”

As much as it wasn’t my problem, I wanted to see if he was okay.

“He’s not a baby, he’s a grown-ass man,” Ava laughed.

I let it slide and walked out onto the patio. Some of the girls and guys were already in the hot tub. It was a giant orgy of bodies, everyone kissing, and I hadn’t yet lost my virginity, let alone join the swarm as they kick started their experimental stage. Even though it was freezing, they were embracing the hot tub.

I took hold of Dylan’s hand out of nowhere and led him to the bottom of the garden in search of Kaleb. “Where are you going?” he asked.

“Ava and Kaleb have fallen out, and Kaleb isn’t in a good state,” I said.

“What!” Kaleb shouted. “You can’t go around telling people that.”

He was behind us.

“Kaleb!” I said, watching as he ran inside.

“Is he okay?” Dylan asked. “I thought things were getting better?”

“I came for a good time.” I rolled my eyes. “The last thing I need is someone else’s drama.”

Dylan hushed me, dragging me into an unwilling hug, but it was comforting when he did. I wanted to pull away, part of me wanted to be annoyed with Kaleb and Ava, but I couldn’t, I was too self-involved.

I drank
more
.

“Where’s Char?” Her mom tugged on my arm. “She’s
not
the same.”

“I can find her if you want,” I said.

“Aw you’re a sweetie,” she said, topping up her wine glass. “Want some?”

I shook my head. I drew the line at wine, for at least another fifteen years.

On my search for Char, I bumped into Kaleb. He was taking shots, one after another. Like someone who definitely knew his way around a bar. I didn’t say a word. He offered me one as an olive branch. I accepted and regretted it, gritting my teeth as the burn touched my tongue. Alcohol shots were
not
for me.

On my way to let the burn of alcohol come back up my throat, I found Char in the bathroom upstairs, her head over the bowl.

“Char?”

She pulled her head out of the bowl and glanced up at me. There were tears in her eyes. “Zo,” she grumbled.

“You okay?” I knelt beside her and tucked the stray hair behind her ears. “What did you have to drink?”

“I haven’t.”

“What?”

“I haven’t even had a drink.”

“What’s up?”

“I—I—I—” she stammered before throwing up.

“Food poisoning?” I asked.

I handed her a cloth to wipe her mouth with. She looked at me with her doe-eyes, they were raw. “I—I—I,” she said, taking a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”

“Oh my god!” I wanted to slap myself into reality. “You’re what?”

“Pregnant,” she said. “I took a test, over Christmas.”

I rubbed her back and stroked her hair into place. “You sure?”

She blubbered, sucking a deep breath through her nose. “I took several, and—and—and I don’t know what to do.” I pulled her in my arms. “What do I do?” she cried.

“It’s all right,” I said, hushing her. It hit me, the reason why she’d been quiet, but it made me thankful to save myself. The promise ring on my finger reminded me of that. “How’s Benny taken it?” He was in high spirits downstairs, drinking with Dylan, probably celebrating.

“He doesn’t know.”

“Tell him,” I said. “I’ll get you water.”

As I stood to get her water in the plastic cup beside the sink. I heard her sob, heavy in her arms. “It’s not Benny’s,” she said, crying harder this time.

I passed her the water. “Who?”

She sipped the water. “I can’t.”

“Who? Enzo? Bellamy?” I asked, reeling through the guys she’d boasted to have slept with. “Kaleb?” I asked, going for a trifecta.

She shook her head, bawling harder. “You’ll hate me.”

I knelt beside her again. “Char.” I tipped her chin up to see her eyes. “Who?”

She shook her head, like a baby, pushing out her bottom lip. “Promise you won’t hate me,” she said.

I couldn’t. My stomach bubbled with nerves and a certain alcohol induced adrenaline jittered through me. I took a deep breath. “Char? Answer my fucking question!” I screamed at her.