Private Lessons (10 page)

N
aomi and Alexis met in the teachers' lounge for coffee before classes began and found a little, quiet corner.

“Where have you been all weekend? I've been calling. Did you get any of my messages? And girl, you are
glowing
,” Alexis said all in one breath.

Naomi's eyes darted around the room. “We'll talk later.”

“Nay…” She lowered her voice. “You didn't? The whole weekend?”

Naomi nodded like a little kid who wanted to jump up and down and do the happy dance.

“Guurlll.” Alexis shook her head.

“Chile.” She fanned herself with her hand.
“No more Caribbean vacations for you without supervision. You have totally gotten beside your bad self.”

Naomi giggled. “We'll talk later. Promise. Oh, and Trevor showed up on my doorstep.”

“Say what!” she sputtered and nearly spilled her coffee. “What the hell did he want?”

“I'll tell you all about it later.”

“Lunchtime. Our spot.”

“Will do.”

They exited the lounge and headed off in opposite directions, toward their classrooms.

Naomi knew that she was going to have to work very hard to keep her focus off of Brice and on the lesson. She'd gone over a variety of scenarios about how the morning would play out, but nothing could have prepared her for what happened.

 

Naomi walked in and greeted the smattering of students that were already seated, then gingerly descended the steps to the place the professors called “the pit” and put down her briefcase and purse. Students began flowing in and taking their seats.

Then, in a scene right out of her worst nightmare, Trevor was standing at the threshold, surveying the hall, calm as you please with his visitor's pass clipped to the lapel of his jacket. Her pulse went off at a gallop. She unbuttoned her jacket because the room had become suddenly close and hot.

He came down the steps, lifted his chin in her direction and took a seat in the last row, near the door.

What is he doing here?
She knew she would only make things worse if she called him out. Her head started to pound. Then Brice walked in, trotted down the steps and took his seat, never giving her a glance.

Her eyes darted toward Trevor, who was squinting down in Brice's direction. Naomi looked away, focused on her notes for the class. She felt ill. Her stomach was rolling in waves. The queasiness rose upward to her throat and burned, until perspiration beaded her forehead.

She drew in long, slow breaths to stamp back the need to throw up all over her desk and really make a fool of herself. Instead, she sat down, something she rarely did during a class. But if she didn't, she was certain she would collapse.

When her gaze flitted around the room and landed for a moment on Brice's face, she could see the concern in his eyes. She had to get herself together.

“Good morning. I hope you all had a good weekend.”

The door opened and Pamela came in, muttering her apologies as she took her seat next to Brice. She gave him a brief, tight smile and flipped open her textbook.

Maybe, if she wiggled her nose she could make this all go away. Unfortunately, she wasn't in a television sitcom. This was her life.

“I'd like to begin today with the reading of several
annotations on the assignment, and then we will discuss them. Ms. Harrington, why don't you begin?” Naomi settled in her seat.

Looking everywhere but at the two men who now inhabited her life, she managed to get through the longest forty-five minutes of her life. She waited until the students began to file out. She was hoping that Brice would blend with the crowd or go out the other door. Instead, he walked right next to where Trevor was still seated.

Trevor stood up, subtly cutting Brice off before he could leave.

As much as she wanted run up those steps and stop whatever was going to happen, she couldn't move. Trevor was saying something, but Brice didn't look like he responded. He pushed through the door and walked out.

There were only two more students left that were making their way out. Trevor came down the steps toward her.

Naomi began jamming her papers in her briefcase.

“I didn't know that you'd started entertaining your students at your house…at night.”

She snapped her briefcase shut and glared up at him. “You don't know what you're talking about.” She jerked her purse onto her shoulder.

“I know what I saw.”

“I have a staff meeting. Excuse me.” She brushed by him. He grabbed her arm. She stared down at the
hand on her. Trevor splayed his fingers and let her go. “Leave me alone, Trevor,” she said, before she started for the steps.

“Not that easy, Nay. I told you I came back for you.”

“It's not going to happen.” She practically ran out.

By the time she got on the other side of the door she was shaking all over. She couldn't think. She needed some air. She hurried down the hallway, through the main lobby and outside.

It was barely eleven and the heat was bearing down on everything in sight. Naomi crossed the lawn, the library, the state-of-the-art theater and continued on toward the faculty parking lot. She crossed the hot concrete to her car, opened the door and got in. She turned on the ignition and put the air conditioner on full blast, leaving the door open until the interior had cooled.

This was all getting out of hand. There was no telling what Trevor might do. He could go to the administration or the board of trustees. Of course, it would be his word against hers, she rationalized, but it would beg the question: why would he come all this way to lie?

She pulled the door shut and rested her head on the steering wheel. The sharp rapping on her window shot her up in her seat, as if she'd been stung by a bee. Her heart raced. She couldn't breathe.

She pressed the button to lower her window.
“Frank?” Could her day get any worse? Frank Lewis was the thorn in her side, the curdle in her milk, the mold on her bread.

“I saw you leaving the building. I came out to get some papers from my car and noticed you slumped over the wheel.”

“I'm not slumped. I…have a headache.”

“Can I get you anything? A pill? Some water?”

“Thanks. No. I'll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” She moved to roll up her window.

“I thought I spotted Trevor Lloyd up in administration this morning.”

She swallowed.

“Weren't you two an item at one point?”

“What's your point?”

He flicked his smooth, dark brows. “Just asking. I was surprised to see him here. I heard he was discussing teaching here next semester.” He smiled. “Well, I hope you feel better.” He turned and strode off.

Maybe she was having a heart attack. That must be the reason for the ache in her chest. She pressed her hand to her forehead. No, Trevor could not teach here. There wasn't room enough for the both of us. There were thousands of colleges around the country why come here?

Her cell phone chirped. It was a text from Alexis, wanting to know where she was. She texted her back and told her to meet her in the parking lot.

 

By the time Naomi finished bringing Alexis up to speed with what had transpired during the past three days, she'd given Alexis her headache.

Alexis sat opposite her friend, with her mouth open. “You got me this time, sis. I don't know what to say. You've gone and stirred up some kinds of hornets' nest.” She shook her head. “What are you going to do? Trevor isn't generally the type that takes a simple get lost for an answer.”

Naomi pinched her lips together. “I know.”

“Just the idea of him coming here to teach…”

“Naomi, you need to do some real soul searching and find a way to nip this in the bud. You and Brice might be able to keep things under wraps, but if Trevor thinks he's on to something, he'll use it just to hurt you, Naomi, especially once he gets it through his head that you aren't taking him back.”

“I know,” she muttered. “That's what I'm afraid of.”

“S
o you're not interested in taking this any further than the classroom. Is that what you're telling me?” Pamela asked, her tone growing confrontational.

“Pam, I think you're great. I really do, but that's not where my head is right now.”

They stood facing each other in the courtyard near the fountain, with campus activity swirling around them.

“You didn't say that the night of the party.”

He frowned. “What did I say?”

She laughed nastily. “So now you don't remember.”

“No, I don't.”

She stared at him for a long moment. “It's
obviously not worth remembering.” She turned, hoisted her knapsack up onto her right shoulder and walked away.

Brice stood rooted to the spot until she was out of sight. Even in the midst of the blazing heat he felt a chill. He walked across campus to his car. First Naomi's ex, now Pamela. He reached his car and his cell vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and checked the number.

“Naomi. Hey, is everything all right?”

“No, it isn't. We need to talk.”

“Did something happen?”

“No, not yet. Listen, can you come by later this evening? I don't want to do this on the phone.”

“Do this? Do what?”

“Please. Just come by later. After nine.”

“Fine, I'll be there.”

“Thank you.” She disconnected the call.

 

Naomi put the phone down on her desk and picked up the letter that had been left for her in her in-box. The committee, along with the board of trustees, was meeting in three weeks to review the candidates for the position of dean. She was one of the candidates in consideration—along with Frank Lewis and
Trevor Lloyd
.

She must have read the letter at least fifty times and still couldn't believe it. She should have known that Trevor was back for bigger reasons than her. It simply did not occur to her that he would be after
the dean's chair. The bigger question was how long had he been under consideration?

He'd seen Brice at her house. If it came down to it, he would find a way to use that against her. She knew that he would, and he'd sleep just fine at night.

Trevor knew how much she wanted that spot. They'd talked about it and planned for it while they were together. He knew it was her dream. Was he that evil, that self-centered that he would not only break her heart, but finally try to break her spirit as well?

She pushed up from her seat. She wasn't going down without a fight. She knew that Frank Lewis had no real love for her and would shake hands and grease palms, if he thought he could pull the rug out from under her. But he didn't have the kind of ammunition that Trevor now did.

She took the letter and stuck it in her purse, gathered her things and headed out. Somehow, she had to work this out. But what was she willing to sacrifice in the process?

 

Brice had always been a man of action. He was never one to wait for things to happen. And he worked hard at seeing beyond the immediate, exploring all of the possibilities. But all of that had been shot to hell since he met Naomi. He'd been on a runaway roller-coaster ride that kept picking up speed and picking up passengers. When it came to Naomi, he couldn't seem to get his head clear. He was operating on pure emotion—something that was entirely foreign to him.
What he needed to do was be proactive. He wanted Naomi, and he wasn't going to let anything or anyone interfere with that.

He turned the car around and headed back to the campus.

 

After her talk with Alexis and some close self-examination, she made up her mind. In a little more than a month the semester would be over. Brice's fellowship would come to an end and he'd return to New York. Although they hadn't talked about it, that was something that was always like an uninvited guest in the room with them.

Neither of them had dealt with the reality that this was all just temporary. But it was. She couldn't ask him to give up his dream. And she knew that he'd never ask her to give up hers. They were at a crossroads—an impassable crossroads. And one of them had to take a stand.

It should be her. As much as it would hurt her to lose him, it would hurt worse watching him walk away and build a life that didn't include her. She'd been there, done that. Not again.

So when he came there later that night she would tell him that it was over. Finished. They couldn't see each other anymore.

Even thinking about it twisted her up inside. She didn't know how she was going to get through the next few weeks, with him sitting in front of her and
knowing that she could never kiss him again, lay with him again, laugh with him again.

She took out two steaks, mindlessly seasoned them and set them aside to marinate. She washed two large potatoes, brushed them with olive oil and wrapped them in foil before putting them in the oven to bake. Then she went upstairs and took a long, hot bath, hoping to soak away the weariness that had settled in her bones.

 

Brice sat in front of the television. The news played in the background. It was risky what he'd done, and it could still backfire. If Naomi found out…well, he didn't want to think about it. He believed he'd done the right thing, and when it was all said and done and the time was right, he hoped that Naomi would feel the same way.

He checked his watch. She'd said “after nine.” It was nearly nine. He pushed up from the couch and reached for his cell phone with the intention of calling her to let her know he was on his way, when it buzzed in his hand.

“Hey, baby, I was just getting ready to call you. I—”

“Don't come here tonight, Brice.”

“What? Why? Did something happen?”

“I don't know how else to say this but to just say it. We can't see each other anymore. Not after class, not at my place. We can't. It's over.”

“Naomi, you can't be serious. Why are you doing this?”

“Because I have to,” she said, struggling to keep the tremor out of her voice, even as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

“You're not making sense. Just out of the blue!”

“Please, don't make this harder than it already is. We knew it was going to have to end sometime.”

“What?” He paced the floor, running his hand back and forth across his head, completely turned around by what she was saying. “Naomi, let me come over there. We need to talk.”

“No, Brice. We're done. I'm…sorry. Goodbye.”

“Naomi!” The dial tone hummed in his ear.

What the hell just happened?!
He'd worked it out. At least he thought he had. What made her change her mind? She sounded so cold and distant, not the Naomi that he'd come to love. The word halted his steps. Slowly he sat down. He was in love with her. He'd danced around it, hinted at it, teased her with it. But the truth was that he was solidly, deeply in love with her, and she all but told him to go to hell. What was he supposed to do with that? How was he supposed to handle it?

He swiped his face with his hand, then got up and went in search of a beer. He tugged the refrigerator door open then kicked it closed when he didn't see what he was looking for.

Stalking to the front of the apartment, he grabbed
his keys from the table by the door and went out. He needed to drive, to clear his head.

 

“You did the right thing,” Alexis said, stroking Naomi's back.

Her body shook with her sobs. “It doesn't feel like I did the right thing.”

“I know, sweetie. It doesn't now, and I know it hurts, but you're going to be okay and so will he. And one day he may even thank you for it. It was a selfless and brave thing that you did.”

Naomi looked up at her friend, tears clouding her vision. “I feel like something is broken inside.”

Alexis pulled her close. “It's going to be okay. It will.”

Naomi nodded her head against Alexis's shoulder.

“Come on, I'll help you clean up the kitchen and put everything away.”

Naomi sighed and slowly stood up. They walked together to the kitchen and began putting food in plastic containers and the unused dishes back in the cabinets.

Her plan had been to talk to him over dinner. Explain why it couldn't work, that she knew that he'd be leaving soon to return to New York and that he needed to focus on his dream, not on trying to figure out how to run back and forth to Atlanta.

She'd talked it over with Alexis and she'd made up her mind about the position of dean. If she got
it, fine; if not, that was fine, too. At the heart of her she was an educator, not an administrator. She could do more good in the classroom. But she'd been so single-minded and focused for so long that she'd lost perspective.

It took having Brice in her life to show her that there was so much more to life than a career. And the realization that she would soon lose him forced her to see that she needed to start living.

She sniffed back a new set of tears. Even if that meant without him. He would be fine. She knew the passion that teachers had. She had that same passion, and there was no way that she was going to hinder his, no matter how much it hurt.