Preying on You (8 page)

“
Stay back,” he ordered
Ethan as he came up behind me. I cowered in Brian’s arms, my
heartbeat thumping in my ear. A cut along Ethan’s temple told me
I’d struck my mark. He leaned back against the wall and raised his
hand.

“
I’m not going to hurt her.
I just need to—”

“
No,” Brian cut him off and
placed me behind him. “We’re through here.”

Ethan shook his head. I noticed when I
peered around Brian’s arm that he looked like he was leaning
heavily on the wall for assistance.

“
Let me go,” I whispered.
My words seemed to pierce through Ethan.

“
Of course you can go.
Phillip will drive you back.”

“
And you’ll leave her
alone?” Brian pressed.

“
If that is what she
wishes.”

“
I do,” I whispered again
and buried my face in Brian’s back. Ethan’s driver arrived at his
call and guided us back to the limo without a word spoken. I felt
sick as I was handed a large envelope, heavy with banded bills.
Twenty five thousand dollars, as promised. I held the money in my
lap and glanced back at Ethan one final time before Brian climbed
in beside me. In that moment, I would have sworn I’d seen his steel
eyes before. Somewhere.

I fell into bed not long after the sun
rose over the desert, painting the land with beautiful pastels. A
wiping away of the darkness that the night before held. I curled
into my bed and wept.

Ethan had never hurt me. Never touched
me in a way that made me feel fear. He was gentle when needed and
passionate when I wanted it most. He was intense, observant, and
knew how to do things to bring me out of my own head.

There is little doubt in my mind that
if I had stayed the night, if I had not entered that den and seen
the pictures, I would have moaned his name before morning as he’d
hoped for. It would have been a night of passion the likes of which
I had not experienced since Levi, and that hurt all the
more.

I had been vocal with Levi. He had a
way of making me scream out and beg for more, of releasing a
guttural moan to claim his name as my own when I came. With him I
had been free. I had let him hear every ounce of pleasure he
brought to me. But never since. I couldn’t bear it.

Ethan came close to achieving that
with me. Fresh tears fell as I burrowed deep under the covers and
prayed for a sleep that never came.

Sometime in the afternoon I rose from
the bed, blurry eyed and weak from crying. I cried for what little
taste I’d had of Ethan’s touch. Sick as it might be, I craved it. I
knew he was all wrong for me. He’d proven that by stalking me,
invading my privacy, stealing my picture.

I glanced over at my bedside table and
my breath stopped. There stood my prom photo, exactly where it had
always been.

Curling my legs up into my
chest, I held myself. Was that there when I fell asleep?
I couldn’t remember. Glancing around the room, I
looked for any sign that he might have been in my house. I could
not smell him. Could not see any footprints lingering in the
carpet. The windows were all locked. I was a fanatic about
that.

Fairly certain I was losing my mind, I
plunged my hands into my hair and held my head. How did I get
myself into this mess?

The doorbell startled me and I let my
legs drop to the floor. Plodding across the tile kitchen to the
tiny entry, I rose onto my toes to look through the peep hole. A
man stood with his head lowered. I bit my lower lip and hesitated.
A soft knock followed.

Grabbing the neck of a flower vase
with wilted flowers dangling around the sides, I twisted the
deadbolt and inched open the door. When I peered around it, steel
gray eyes met mine and my fingers clamped down on the
vase.

“
Don’t,” Ethan placed his
hand on the door. He didn’t push against me. “Please. I only wanted
to give you this.”

He held out a small letter, with a red
wax seal. I glanced at it and saw the letters EK. Looking back up
at him, I realized for the first time that he no longer wore the
mask. He was unveiled before me, and just as I suspected, he stole
my breath away.

Three stitches lined the angry cut
over his eye and as bizarre as it was, I felt a moment of
remorse.

Ethan nodded toward the letter. “All I
ask is that you read it. Nothing more.”

I slipped my hand out and seized the
letter, and then draw back into the safety of my home. A perceived
safety that could easily be shattered with a heavy shove that would
topple me backward and allow him entrance, but he remained
motionless. Non-threatening.

“
Well…” He shuffled his
feet, looking like a young boy who was suddenly and painfully
unsure of himself. He backed down a step. “Goodbye,
Ava.”

He turned and marched down the steps,
leaving me alone and confused. I closed the door and peered through
the peep hole, breathing a sigh of relief when I saw he had
gone.

Clutching the letter to my chest, I
hurried to my dining room and sank into a chair. I tapped the
letter against the glass top, wondering if I should feed into his
delusions. He was obviously wrong for me, but if that were entirely
true why would I have allowed myself to get in his limo in the
first place. Why did I spend all those hours crying in my bed,
knowing that a part of me still longed for his touch? That it would
be nothing more than a dream that I could wake from and still have
a chance to see him again the following week.

We both knew I agreed to go along with
his desires only because some part of me wanted to be. After being
in his arms, I knew a part of me would always want to be there
again.

I slid my finger beneath the seal and
tore open the letter, unfolding the tri-fold. The script was
handwritten in blue ink, a personal touch that I had not
expected.

Dearest Ava,

I know that my actions
last night caused you alarm and for that I am deeply sorry. It was
never my intention to make you afraid.

I can’t tell you how many
times I have started this letter. A dozen would hardly be close to
the real number. What do I say to the woman I have admired from a
distance for years?

You asked me last night if
you knew me. That answer was yes, though you knew me as Ethan
Kline. Even now that name most likely doesn’t ring a bell. Let me
go further and tell you that I was Levi Willis’
step-brother.

I spent the two years you
dated Levi in high school watching you, wishing that I’d met you
first. Levi was crazy about you, and I knew you felt the same about
him. I tried not to notice you. Not to fall in love with your laugh
when Levi would say his usual stupid quips. I tried not to wish
that I was the one in your arms when our parents would skip town
for a weekend, and I’d fall asleep with my pillow over my head to
drown out the sound of your pleasure with my brother.

Sometimes I would lie in
bed and allow myself to listen to you. I knew it was wrong but I
was young and stupid. As much as I loved Levi, I wanted you to see
me. To want me instead of him. You never did.

My hands trembled as I looked up from
the letter. Now I understood why Ethan felt familiar to me. Why his
piercing steel eyes triggered a buried memory. He was the one who
took the picture of Levi and me before we left for prom and left
him home alone. Closing my eyes, I remembered asking him why he
wasn’t joining us. Now I knew. It was because of me.

I wouldn’t go so far as to
say that what I felt for you back then was love. No. More like a
boyhood crush mingled with a heavy dose of raging hormones. It
didn’t help that the wall between our bedrooms was so thin or that
our parents had an annoying tendency to leave frequently, giving
you every opportunity to stay the night.

After Levi passed, I vowed
to myself I would take care of you. Somehow. But you disappeared. I
get that. Levi’s death was hard on all of us. He was a good guy. If
things had been different, I know he would have married you. Even
though it hurt, I just wanted you to be happy.

Tears slipped from my eyes and down my
cheeks as I pressed my hand to my stomach. How could I not have
known? Not have seen? Ethan had always seemed shy when I was
around. I always thought he was just awkward around girls, but in
reality he’d been trying to deny himself for Levi’s happiness. For
my own.

I knew if I stood any
chance of winning you over, I would need to become someone worthy
of you. I focused on my studies and made a good name for myself. I
worked long hours, all the while I hunted for any sign of you. I
scoured the east coast for a few years and had nearly given up
hope. Then I was transferred out here when I took a position at a
new law firm. When I discovered that you’d landed in a town not far
from me, I couldn’t resist seeing you, but I was afraid.

Afraid that seeing me
would dredge up old memories I knew you were running from. It hurt
that you had chosen this path for your life. I knew you were better
than that, but as I watched you dance I could see something cold
and distant in you. It was only when I took pictures of you that I
could glimpse the girl I once knew, and vowed I would do whatever
it took to bring you back.

I wanted you then, but
even more so now. Now that I’ve had you. Held you. Known
you.

I don’t expect you to
forgive me for how I went about this. For hiding the truth that you
deserved to know. All I ask is for a chance. A chance to remind you
of who you once were, and who I know you to still be…

Ethan

I dropped the letter onto the table
and stared out the window, unseeing and numb. He had sacrificed so
much for me, and I’d never seen, never realized. What sort of man
would be willing to go to such great depths for a girl like
me?

Back then Ethan had been cute. He’d
caught the eye of plenty of girls in school, but a part of me had
always wondered if he’d been gay and that was why he’d turned them
all down. In reality, I was the one who’d been blind. I had eyes
only for Levi and was incapable of seeing the truth right in front
of my nose.

Ethan was right. I shut down after
Levi died. Made it my goal in life to run as far from the past as I
could. I shoved aside the pain and guilt because it was easier. I
denied myself the life I’d always dreamed of as penance.

Pushing up from the chair I began to
pace. What if I didn’t have to run anymore? What if I was finally
ready to move on, to accept that even though Levi was killed while
hurrying to see me, the blame was not mine. Fate chose to steal him
from me. She was a cruel bitch but maybe she knew something that I
didn’t.

I felt things with Ethan last night
that stirred deep within me. Yearnings for the girl I once was. One
who was free to laugh and love fully. To embrace her sexuality and
all that could entail.

My time with Ethan in the limo cracked
through the walls that I’d built high and wide to protect myself,
but could I really be with him, knowing that he would always remind
me of Levi?

I felt conflicted. My chest ached as I
found myself walking toward the door. Feelings of denial mingled
with guilt and nearly drove me back to my bed, to wallow in
self-loathing as I had done for years. Instead, I peeked out
through the hole and felt myself smile. Biting down on my lower
lip, I unlocked the door.

Ethan sat on the lower step. He hadn’t
left me. He’d lingered, unwilling to go far. Knowing that I would
agonize over that letter. He had no way of knowing how I would
react. If I would open the door and throw something else at him.
Hit him for dredging up memories best left buried.

He’d stayed...for me.
Again.

When he looked up at me, I smiled my
first completely genuine smile in a very long time. His gaze never
left me as I sank down onto the step beside him and pulled his hand
into mine. I raised it to my lips and kissed his palm, whispering,
“I remember you, Ethan…”

T
he
voice message ends with a beep, and I blink as my surroundings
return to me. The silence is nearly deafening in the wake of Ava’s
voice, and I can’t help but wonder if that was really her name at
all. I rise from the couch to switch off the machine, still lost to
the tale I just journeyed.

Beatrice leaps down onto the floor and
arches her back, digging her claws into the lush carpet before
dashing toward the kitchen. My wine glass is still half-full,
forgotten on the side. My notebook is a mess of frantically
scribbled notes, thoughts on the elations and heartaches that Ava
experienced during her story.

Countless questions plague me. Are
Ethan and Ava still together? Did she move beyond her first love to
truly embrace her second chance? Did they find their happiness in
each other’s arms, or did Ava run again?

I suppose not everyone gets their
happily ever after. Some do, just not in the way they expected or
planned. Ava and Ethan’s story will stay with me long after I put
down my pen and retire for the evening. A tale of pain, loss,
healing, and a love that could see past all of the flashing bright
lights and seedy back rooms to a pure girl who was running from
herself.