Pretty Little Lies (Lie #2) (13 page)

Dylan

I couldn’t tell you how long we laid sprawled out on the bed. All I knew was for once, I truly felt connected to someone. My head resting against the hardness of his chest, and one of his hands caressed softly over every inch of my skin it could reach. The other hand held the curve of my stomach.

I studied his hands. The way he held my stomach I could easily see that he was already forming a bond with the baby. Did he truly want to be a father? He came from a large family himself. Could I finally find happiness inside a family unit? Ethan said I met them. But if I did those memories were buried so deep within my mind it seemed like a faring concept. I’d laced my fingers through his and pressed firmly against where I felt the baby moving.

“E,” I said softly to hide my excitement. “I can remember being scared and lonely. I never felt like I belonged until you wrapped your arms around me. I wanted to tell you about the baby. I hated lying to you. But I couldn’t take it if you left not only me but our baby too.”

He squished me against him and kissed my forehead. “Oh my love, never.”

“I would rather leave than have you leave me,” I whispered.

“I love you, and have no plans on leaving. Please tell me that you’re not planning on leaving?” Ethan asked and pressed his lips against my temple.

I didn’t move because it felt beyond right to be in his arms. “I love you,” I whispered. I couldn’t tell him that I wasn’t leaving because I still didn’t know what was going to happen. I left him once and had no idea why.  

He hugged me tighter against him. “You’re my miracle.  My strong and beautiful miracle.” He raised his head and looked down at my belly. “So are you, my little one,” he added and rubbed his hand over my stomach.

“You have no idea what it’s like trying to figure out what is right. When half your memories are gone, and the other half are memories you want to forget.”

“We’ll make new memories with our little bundle of joy,” Ethan said and rubbed my belly. I loved the way he said ours. He was the father and I had no right to make a decision without him.

“I think he knows you’re his daddy,” I said as my fingers played in his hair. My heart skipped a beat from the extra twinkle in his eyes.

“What makes you say that?” he sounded more than idly curious.

“He gets really active when you talk. The first time I felt him move was when you made me pancakes that morning.” I felt myself getting excited. It was the first time I really talked about being pregnant. “I thought he was going to flip out of my stomach when we went to your house. It was like he knew he was . . .” I trailed off and darted my eyes from his. Could it possibly be home? I didn’t know, but for one night I could pretend. I started playing with the belt loops on the pants Ethan never completely stripped out of.

“He knew he was home.”

I nodded my head and pushed away from him. It might not be his home, but before we decided we had one thing we needed to know. I got up and walked over to the small desk in the corner of my room. Ethan never even rose up. He just followed my every movement with his eyes. I pulled a miniature cedar chest out of the bottom drawer. It was my dad’s and the only thing I own from my childhood. I started to tell Ethan about the box, but I only wanted to focus on the high points at that moment. I walked over and sat down beside him. He still laid on his back, but stroked a hand up and down my arm. I opened the box that held everything precious to me. The necklace Ethan sent me for my birthday fell out and onto his leg. He picked it up and fingered it with his free hand.

“Why don’t you wear this?’

I shrugged my shoulders. “It’s beautiful. I did wear it in the hospital.” I looked down and tried to snatch the necklace from his grasp. He tightened his fist. “It made me feel close to you. It was the only connection Baby E and I had with you.”

“Baby E?” he asked, sat up, and started to slide the necklace around my neck.

“Yeah, I’ve called him Baby E since I learned that I was going to have him.”

He clasped the necklace shut and kissed the back of the neck. “Why Baby E?”

I twisted my head and kissed the side of his lips. “The names I liked were Elizabeth, which I later figured out was my granny’s name.” I smiled. “And Ethan. So no matter what, the name would start with an E.”

He gave me an enduring smile that made my heart twist. I twisted my fingers through his hair and tried envisioning a little boy as stunning as the man before me. I couldn’t imagine eyes that striking on a small child’s face. There was a depth of wisdom in them that only a man who had truly lived could have.

“I love them.” His brows drew together, but his expression was pure curiosity. “I’m guessing it’s a Little Ethan.”

I cleared my throat. “Why do you say that?” I asked and picked up a small photo album I had placed the ultrasound pictures in.

I handed it over to Ethan. He sat up straight and slowly started shifting through each page. I was memorized as he traced over each feature the grainy lines on the pages showcased. I saw a tear seep out of the corner of his eyes.

“Ethan,” I whispered. He nodded, unable to speak. “E, why did you say it’s an Ethan?”

He sat transfixed staring at the last picture in the series. It featured a perfect profile shot of the little bean growing inside of me. “E,” I said a little louder and shook his shoulder.

He flipped his head around and displayed the perfect smile. “You call him.” He shrugged. “Him.”

“I’m not sure. It’s just a feeling.” I placed my forehead against Ethan’s shoulder. “I guess I want a little you.”

“He’ll be a better me. He’s got you in him.” He kissed the top of my head. I laid the envelope holding the one snapshot showing if he was a he. Or if I’d been wrong once again, and have a little girl on the way. Ethan picked it up and examined it.

“What’s this?” he asked, reaching over to push the hair back off my face.

“The sonogram picture that tells what we’re having. I’ve always wanted you with me when I opened it.”

He rubbed his chin with his free hand and looked at the envelope shaking in his other hand. The hand that was on his chin found and squeezed my knee. “You wanted me.”

I would always want him. “Open it.”

He almost ripped it in two trying to get it out. He held the picture arm-length away. An arrow pointed down to what seemed to be between two legs with the words
It’s a Girl
typed above it. I instantly cried. I was having a girl. A chance to see a little girl grow up happy and loved. It hit me why I wanted a boy. I couldn’t bear to see another girl grow up in an environment like I did. Ethan wrapped both arms around me, buried his face in my hair, and started laughing.

“Have I told you that you make me unbelievably happy?” he asked through tears of laughter. He was laughing so hard I was sure he was going to hyperventilate.

“By-the-way, it is yours.  Your sweet little girl.”

His laughter was subdued with those words. “I know. You have to know I was in shock when I asked that ludicrous question.” He nuzzled his nose lightly against mine.

“You sure, we can always order a DNA.”

He fell back and rolled me on top of him. “Well, if I’m not the daddy, I’ll need my own lawyer to get me off.”

“From what?”

“Murdering the lucky SOB who is.” He flipped me on my back and crawled over me, pausing at my stomach. He lightly kissed it. “All I need is you and her.” He glanced up at me. “I’m going to be a daddy.”

Ethan

I’m a grown ass man, and I wanted to purr. I finally had everything I ever wanted, and it was wrapped up in one helluva of a package. I kissed that dear baby bump and slowly started to work up her body, taking care to give her breasts extra attention. They were fuller and bigger. I fucking loved the changes her body was taking. She moaned out as I rolled her nipple between my teeth. My erection grew harder so the knock on the door was an unwelcome distraction.

“Guys, are you okay in there?” came from a soft spoken voice that was unfamiliar.

“Yeah, Allison, we’ll be out in a moment,” Dylan hollered over toward the door.

“Like hell, we will.” I growled against her skin then lightly sank my teeth into her left breast. I wasn’t ready to face the world. I still hadn’t quenched the thirst going without Dylan had left me with.

Dylan shoved on my chest. I refused to budge. I wasn’t letting her friends ruin that moment for us.

“E, my hip is killing me,” Dylan whispered.

That statement was equivalent to dousing me with cold water. I jumped up and noticed her hand rubbing over a large scar. I felt like a wrench of a man. I hadn’t thought of her injury, just devouring her. I hadn’t even noticed the rather large incision that ran from the top of her hip to her upper leg. She suffered a whole new bout of misery, and once again, she did it without having someone to love her. She had spent it alone.

I sat back down beside her and gathered her in my arms. “I really am an ass. I don’t deserve you or Elizabeth but thank the good Lord, he saw it fit to let me love you. You can run all you want, babe, but I’m coming with you.”

“I need something for pain,” she mumbled.

“I wish I had something but the baby . . .”

She reached over to the bedside table and opened the top drawer. “I got it.” She pulled out a small pill bottle. I gripped her hand.

“Babe, you’re the last person I want to see hurt but Elizabeth.”

She looked at me and took my breath away with the smile she was sporting. “I love that you call her Elizabeth already but she’s fine. These are the meds the doctors gave me. They’re safe. They can’t cross the placenta barrier. We’re just lucky the meds the first few weeks didn’t hurt her.”

The sudden loud slam of the bedroom door startled us.

“Wow, impressive, Ethan,” Deacon screamed from the other side of the door.

I stood and pulled up the pants that had yet been fully removed. Dylan’s perfect skin turned a bright crimson.
Okay, Ethan, get your mind on the matter at hand.

“I guess we need to get out there.”

After dressing, we walked down the hallway while Dylan laughed at me for getting caught with my pants down. I informed her it was her problem. I didn’t mind showing him off, but only she got to play it from then on.

She pulled me down to sit beside her in an oversize chair for two. I made myself very comfortable, scooting as close to her as humanly possible.
Damn, she smells like sex and me.
My favorite scent sex, me, and Dylan combined in one. Dylan narrowed her eyes and focused in on the guy I wanted to beat the hell out of at the restaurant and Sarah holding hands. By the look she was shooting Sarah, I would’ve guess that there romantic connection was a new one on Dylan.

“Heard Deacon got a peek show. Too bad she’s gay and couldn’t truly enjoy it,” Sarah said, giving Dylan a very friendly smile and a wink.

Dylan mouthed a few choice words at her. She opened her mouth to say something else when I spoke into her ear. “She’s just mad only you get to enjoy it.”

It was like a light switch went out in her eyes.
Shit, what’s bothering her now?
I decided at that moment the rest of the day was going to be a blast. It wasn’t in my nature to give up and I sure as hell wasn’t giving up on Dylan.

Aside from the occasionally glum expression on Dylan’s exquisite face, I thoroughly enjoyed being with Dylan’s friends.

They were funny, charming, caring, and for whatever reason, accepted me.

Sarah shot me a few warning glances in the beginning, but in the end even she was charmed by the Asher charisma.

“Your place or mine?” I asked Dylan, as she switched the station on the television. Everyone had retired to the bedroom except us.

Dylan had learned early in the day Sarah was dating Danny. She seemed a little perturbed they had kept that fact from her but it was something else bothering her.

“What do you mean?”

I pulled her legs over in my lap and stroked her hip still hurting from our afternoon play. “Something has bothered you all afternoon.” I pressed my lips against hers.

She looked up with those innocent eyes but tucked her chin onto her chest. She didn’t answer me, simply placed my hand on her belly. “Are you ready to be a family man now?” she asked then sucked her bottom lip between her teeth.

Oh shit, she’s worried about whether or not I really want this?
My little girl was a new concept to me, but she had already stolen my heart. She was also proof how I had failed her mommy. Dylan had spent her whole life taking care of everything on her own. I told her she would never be alone again. I lied.

“I didn’t think you wanted this.” Dylan rested her head on my chest and closed her eyes.

“I want her. I want you. I want this more than anything.”

She hugged me tightly and nodded against my chest. But there was a hesitation to her movement. How could I prove to her I wanted this? That I wanted her and our baby. She had lost everyone that was supposed to take care of her. The one person that should’ve taken care of her the most betrayed her. She had never had a single person she could trust. Hell, I proved to her once she couldn’t trust me. I would spend the rest of my worthless life showing Dylan everything I was or have belonged to her. Nothing mattered without my family. She and Elizabeth were my family.

“I said that because I thought that was what you wanted. I love the idea of having a big family. I could remember playing with Brandon and Jamie when I was little.”

“Who’s Jamie?”

Dylan winced as my han
d
accidentally bared down on her hip. Of all the slip ups to have in front of her. How I could’ve even said that monster’s name was beyond me.

“Brandon’s tag-a-long. Kristina,” I said quickly, hoping to erase that name from her memory. “Was like another mom to me. Except a mom that never got on to me. She said she didn’t have to worry if I turned out to be a productive citizen. I worship that lady.” I kissed Dylan’s forehead. I was wrong again. I didn’t know the meaning of worship until Dylan appeared in my life. “I love my big dysfunctional family. If you wanted no kids, I was fine with that. But I’ve always wanted lots of babies with you. We can be like that couple on TV with all those kids. I know I love putting them in you.”

“Why were you with that girl this afternoon? She’s beautiful.” She tried to scoot away from me, but I held her closer. My blunt Dylan finally let it slip what was making her sad.

“For business, to be honest I need to call her and tell her where I went.” I added the ending, hoping Dylan would see that I had not even thought enough of Amanda to call her. Dylan drew a deep breath.

“She’s part of that club, isn’t she?”

I tried to lift her chin so that I could stare into her lovely blue eyes, but she wouldn’t look at me. “Dylan, don’t go there.”

Dylan began fidgeting with my tee-shirt, gathering the soft cotton in between her fingers and tugging lightly on my chest hair. It pulled.  I wanted to tell her to stop, but the idea she might possibly move her hand wasn’t worth it. I leaned over and kissed her forehead.

“Have you slept with her?”

I shook my head. “I’ve fucked her more than once, but I never shared a moment like this with her. She never slept in my bed.”

“What will happen when you get tired of this and want the club again?” Dylan looked at me with muted trepidation and didn’t even try to smile.

“That’s not happening. With you, I have it all. You don’t remember but we played a few games.”

“I did?” She chewed her lip unmercifully. I gently placed my mouth on hers, tugging her lip free with my own.

“Yeah, you did.”

Dylan exhaled deeply. “E, I refuse to be with anyone that hits,” she confessed. Her eyes slowly filled with tears as she looked down at her hands, which she was twisting in her lap. “I looked up that club on the internet. I saw the videos of what goes on there . . .”

I placed my finger over her mouth to stop where her train of thought was going. She continued speaking anyway. “Not only can’t I be with a guy who likes to hit but that wants to be hit too. I saw those videos. Some of those people were treated like dogs. I can’t. I won’t be a part of that.”

I pressed my lips together not knowing what to say.

“That is how Mom and Louie treated me.” Two lone tears slid down her rosy cheek. “Did you do that to me?” She wiped her face with the back of her hand.

“Privy,” I said and cleared my throat. The thought of Dylan being treated like that, that she thought I might have done the same made me physically sick. “You’re the greatest blessing I’ve ever been blessed with. For once, I want you to remember everything. I never.” I shook my head. “I have no desire to even hurt you in pleasure. Much less, all that other sick and twisted shit. That club is a money-making business and I’m good at bringing in the money. Did I enjoy it? I’m not going to lie. Hell yeah, I did. But that was before you.”

“E, promise me you won’t ever hurt a girl like that ever. Even if she asked for it.”

“That one is easy. You are it for me and I’ll never do anything to purposely hurt you.”

“No, E, I mean ever. Now or even after me. Promise me.” She swiped at another tear and hung her head, physically and emotionally exhausted.

“I promise that there’ll never be an after you.” I gathered her up in my lap and snuggled her head in the crook of my neck. “So any other promises are a moot point. I went there Friday night. I had to take care of some business, and I guess say good-bye to that life. I had to get drunk to gain the desire to even walk into the place I once called home. When I walked in, a girl I knew wrapped her arms around me. I had to be nice for business sake but I wanted to puke. I can’t stand the thought of having anyone else that close to me but you. I realized that night the club was never my home. It was a place to hang before I found where my home really was.” I raised her head to force her to look at me. “This is my home. Wherever you are is where my home is.”

A simple girl had the power to hurt me far greater than I ever thought possible. The sight of each of her tears ripped through me. But then Dylan was no simple girl. She was the one that finally lit a fire in my heart frozen over by life.

“My sweet love, I’m a controlling ass and I know it. I can be harsh and brash. Hell, I try to be gentle with you and still find myself being that way. My whole family loves two things our family and money, and we will do anything to protect them both.” I trailed my fingertips along the exposed skin on her leg, feeling her skin goose-bump beneath my touch. “Then there’s you. My opposite. My better. You are sweet, forgiving, innocent, and unbelievably strong. I should leave. You deserve somebody like you. But I’m too damn selfish for that. So that goes back to my original question. My place or yours? Because I never plan on sleeping without you in my bed again.”