Pretend Mom (2 page)

"I suppose I should be grateful I
didn't have to get a shuttle." She didn't look at him, but the
little blond carhop on her way over to the truck captured his
attention.

"Give us a couple of burgers with
mustard and fries and a couple of Cokes." He ordered for
her.

He glanced over at her and smiled.
"Isn't that what you used to order most of the time at the Dairy
Mart back home?"

She nodded; surprised that Mike Dalton
would have remembered such a thing.

Dixie firmed her lips when he dished
out the money, though. Being old fashioned he was bound to pay for
both their meals but it still it irritated her no end.

He turned towards her, pushing his hat
away from his face, and relaxing behind the wheel.

"Something wrong?"

"I can pay for my own food," she
said.

"Feeling indebted, are we?" He
grinned.

"Am I indebted?"

"Not in the least. Just call me
old-fashioned. When a lady eats with me, she's automatically my
guest."

"Thanks, I didn't have change for a
hundred anyhow." She chuckled, wanting to make light of a situation
she'd blown out of proportion.

He smiled—this time with her, not at
her—and some of the tension between them eased. Still, Dixie knew
exactly why Mike was here. He was making good and sure she left his
brother alone. Why Mike had tried to come between her and Kevin all
those years ago, she didn't know. After all, it had always been a
one-sided affair. Kevin had no feelings for her…at least not back
then, and she wasn't sure of her own reaction to him
now.

"Glad you haven't lost your sense of
humor." He leaned back and smiled at her.

Despite her intention, a smile dotted
her lips. "So, Emily is still doing volunteer work?" She groped for
a change in subject. Too many compliments from Mike could be
dangerous.

"Never stopped as far as I
know."

How silly she'd been. She should have
known Emily always got involved in community projects, offering to
do almost everything herself. Of course, she had too many irons in
the fire to come to the airport. And she did get carsick. Funny how
things like that slipped your mind when you hadn't been home in so
long.

Still, not having family to greet her
at the airport left Dixie feeling uneasy. She hadn't dealt with
Mike in a long time, and according to her heart, she didn't know
how to deal with him. He looked hungry for a skirmish, and he still
managed to make her feel like an awkward schoolgirl at times. His
very presence made her heart rate soar. There seemed to be a
strange kind of chemistry between them. They seemed to respond to
each other physically, but mentally they were worlds apart—and knew
it.

"She wanted someone here to greet you.
She asked me to pick you up."

"She did?"

"You're surprised. Well, I guess that's
because you haven't been home in a while. You're going to have to
get used to the idea of me being around. I'm over at your place
almost as much as I'm at home."

"Oh? I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
Mom and the boys always liked you."

"You don't sound like you're a part of
my fan club." He shot her a mock frown.

"I didn't know you had one."

Emily was Dixie's stepmother, and the
twin teenage boys were her half-brothers. She'd quit thinking of
them as anything other than her only family long ago. Her real
mother died when she was a young child, and she barely remembered
her. Her father died three years ago of a heart attack, and then
her sister, Audrey, died just last year. Death had taken its toll
on Dixie and her family, something Dixie was still finding hard to
deal with.

It had never dawned on Dixie that she
might actually be needed here. That prospect brightened her mood a
little. Being needed was refreshing. She always felt like the black
sheep of the family, wanting to do things no one else
did.

Emily had always taken her side with
her father, thus creating more harmony than friction. Tom, Will,
and Emily were all the family she had left, and they were precious
to her. Except for her Uncle Paul, whom Dixie really didn't count.
He thought she was the wild one of the family and had nothing to do
with her. Wild? She'd gone to New York City to become a rock star,
and that was considered wild on the Johnson side of the
family.

A deep sadness filled Dixie. The
loneliness of coming home without her father and only sister
surrounded her. Audrey's death had devastated her greatly. She'd
been killed in a plane crash on her way to visit Dixie in New York.
Dixie knew it was foolish, but somehow she felt responsible for
Audrey's death, and ever since shuddered when flying.

Strange how coming home brought all the
old memories to the surface, but this was her first trip home in a
long time and it was bound to be different. She should have
prepared herself for it. Even though her father hadn't approved of
her running off to New York to find her fame and fortune, he had
encouraged her to think big.

"Are you all right?" Mike's voice
penetrated her absorbed mind, as an arrogant brow shot upward in
question and tawny gold eyes probed deeper. What was he searching
for? What did he think he was going to find?

"I'm fine. I'm just a little shaky over
the plane ride."

"Have a rough trip?"

"Not really. Not for anyone who enjoys
flying I suppose. I just don't happen to enjoy it."

"Why didn't you tell me? I thought you
looked pale, but I attributed it to seeing me."

"It's nothing, really."

"You were shaking a few minutes ago."
He frowned, studying her closer. "Why didn't you take a train or
bus, if flying bothers you?"

"Because I didn't want to lose most of
my vacation traveling back and forth. Besides, Mom sounded upset
when she called me. I wanted to get here as fast as I
could."

He reached across and took her hand in
his. A big, warm hand. It startled Dixie. She forgot how caring the
people in small towns could be. She started to pull away, but Mike
was only being Mike—the protector.

"I'm fine now."

"You sure?"

She nodded and pulled her hand from
his. Mike frowned.

After a short silence, he turned in the
seat. "So, how's life in New York?"

"Busy."

"I'm surprised you took the time off
work."

"Well, I was due a vacation, and Mother
sounded distraught." Dixie cast him a questioning look.

"She can hardly wait to see you. I
wouldn't say distraught, but anxious."

"I want to know how Mom and the boys
are. Is there something wrong? Is that why you came? What's been
going on?"

"Wrong? No, there's nothing wrong,
really. Although I suspect Emily needs to talk with you. But,
they're fine. The boys would have come with me, but they're both in
summer school. Not much new to tell in town. A few moved off to
better careers, like you. A few married. I'm surprised you haven't
asked about Kevin."

"I'm sorry." Dixie swallowed. He
mentioned Kevin so casually, yet Dixie knew Mike was anything but
casual about his brother. She wasn't prepared to talk about Kevin
right now, and especially with Mike. "I was waiting for you to tell
me." She didn't want Mike to know she was rattled.

It was all too awkward a moment. Mike
couldn't possibly know what she was feeling about Kevin after all
these years. Just because he was opposed to them getting together
so long ago didn't mean he still felt the same. Maybe he had
mellowed. Maybe he wanted to tell her.

"And how is he?" She tried not to sound
too interested, yet she couldn't stop fidgeting with her hands, and
he glanced down at them as she spoke.

"He's doing great, actually. He's
running for senator now. He's happy."

"I'm glad," she said, only to see
Mike's brow arch arrogantly. The thought of Kevin running for
senator startled and pleased her. She had known Kevin would do
well. No wonder Mike was so anxious to keep her away from him. It
wouldn't do for a senator to be seen with a wild-looking rock star.
Even she could imagine the headlines that could cause.

"Are you?"

"Happy? Of course. But I want you to
know I don't intend sitting here and talking to you about Kevin."
Her outburst cost her what little leverage she had. He was prepared
for a battle, by the look on his face, so she changed direction.
"So, you were elected to come and get me?"

"Something like that."

"I'm a little surprised you had the
time. I mean, as I recall, you had a good size ranch to
run."

"Still do. But I attended an auction in
Mesquite and have to pick up that bull I mentioned earlier. Like I
said, we'll be stopping on the way home, if you don't
mind."

"You're breeding cattle
now?"

"Just started."

Naturally, he hadn't come all this way
just to pick her up, she thought. "I hope picking me up wasn't too
much out of the way for you."

"No," he winked. "Not
really."

Dixie looked away again, unable to
assemble her thoughts. Mike was just too disturbing.

But, despite her efforts to ignore him,
she found herself curious about Mike. What had happened to him in
all these years? Had he married? Did he have a houseful of kids?
Their eyes met and she looked away hurriedly. Looking into those
intense, tawny eyes was a little too disturbing. She'd have to
change the subject completely. Mike Dalton was affecting her
strangely.

"Poor Mom, she really has to stay after
Tom and Will to keep them in school. I wish it came easier for
them. They hate it. I remember her promising Dad they would finish
school even if they were twenty-five when they did."

"She's got her hands full with that
promise."

"I can hardly wait to see them. It's
been so long."

"Too long!"

CHAPTER TWO

The old home-place lay sprawled among
the rolling hills of an east Texas meadow. Towering cottonwoods
whispered the music of the wind like chimes. Wild buttercups grew
in the meadows. An old two-story frame house stood majestically in
the background. In the distance an occasional sunflower peeped over
the horizon, stretching itself towards the morning sun. It was a
serene place. It was home, and Dixie quickly realized how much
she'd missed it. Born here, she felt her roots stirring old
memories.

After a wonderful day with her family,
and Emily reassuring her they would talk later, Dixie began to feel
at home again.

Finally left to her solitude, she
wandered near the well-manicured grounds of the cemetery down the
road. She'd been afraid of this particular cemetery for years. The
tall cottonwoods spread a mighty shade over the lawns.

In reality she supposed death might not
be her real fear, it was more the process of dying. Death was such
an active partner in her life. Not hers, but her loved ones. One by
one, they had died on her.

She found her family's graves without
any trouble. She knelt beside her sister's grave first, she gently
slid a finger over the letters on the stone. It was cold. Not at
all like her sister. Audrey had always been a warm, vibrant person,
full of life and possibilities.

A northern breeze filtered the air,
stirring the dead leaves about the grounds like a ghost swishing
through an old house.

"Oh, Audrey, I miss you. I'm so sorry I
missed the memorial service but I was already on a plane for
Australia when I heard about it. I almost couldn't go on stage
again . . ." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "At least you're
with our parents now. You aren't alone. Probably less lonely than
me. I miss you so." A tear spilled. "I've come home 'cause Emily
called and asked me to. That, and to put old ghosts away, so I can
get on with my life. You knew how infatuated I was with Kevin. I
thought it a childish crush, but I wanted to be sure. I have to be
sure."

She moved her fingers slowly over each
letter. "Something is going on I think, but Emily's not ready to
talk about it. I don't know what, yet. I guess she'll tell me in
good time. And the boys—oh, how they've grown. And into such little
gentlemen, too."

Another tear spilled.

"It feels good to be home, Audrey, but
I can't stay long. My life is in New York now. I've met a man, a
man I work with, who has serious intentions. Problem is, I'm not
sure how I feel. I hate putting him off, but I'm not sure. I mean,
Ed just doesn't give me that bubbly feeling of being in love. Maybe
I expect too much. I guess deep down I felt that coming home might
give me a few answers. Maybe I haven't put my feelings for Kevin
away, yet. Or maybe I just don't love Ed. All I know is, I've got
to find answers."

Her hand shook. Tears Dixie had held
too long poured freely. Why did crying always release the tension?
Such a release, she mused silently. She placed the fresh
wild-flowers at the head of her sister's grave and she watched her
own tears being soaked up by the hot, dry ground. It felt good, and
right, being here alone, able to cry.