Preserving Love: A Contemporary Romance Series (Nick & Lexi Book 2) (6 page)

“Because people make it change. People from other places come in here and want to fix our home. But our home doesn’t need to be fixed. We love it as it is. There’s nothing wrong with that Evan. Maybe there’s something wrong with you for always thinking it has to be better than it was. Maybe what it was is the best its going to be.”

“People from other places? Is that all I am to you?”

“What am I to you? If you can stand there and accuse me of unfairly causing bias. If you can act like the only reason you didn’t get what you wanted is because I messed it up? What does that make me to you?”

“I didn’t create those words!”

“No,” I looked at him, tears in my eyes as I stood up and prepared to leave before we’d even ordered. “you spoke them.”

I walked away, not waiting for a reply. He had gone beyond making me angry. He’d hurt me. For what? A building that could have been built anywhere.
 

Evan had sworn that none of this would come between us. He’d assured me that we would make it past this battle and on to the future. But the longer this went on, the harder it was becoming.
 

Everyone I knew was coming at me with news about him that I hadn’t heard yet. Most of it seemed to be accurate so far. He was avoiding me. Hell we barely saw each other anymore.
 

I couldn’t wait to get home, which was where I was going. I’d closed the shop early and I didn’t plan on going back. I needed a hot bath and a long night’s rest. Well, and maybe a good cry.
 

I hurt someone I care about today and I didn’t mean to.
 

I heard the phone chirp while I was bathing and tried to ignore it. But I just couldn’t. Something told me it would be my ‘Nick’. For some reason that was how Evan had chosen to handle bad situations. As much as I wanted to pretend I didn’t care, I did.
 

Maybe you should examine your words and actions.
 

Sometimes my hands are tied. I don’t have a choice.
 

We all have choices Nick. We just tell ourselves we don’t so that we feel less guilty.
 

Okay, correction, I didn’t have a choice except for giving up something that means a lot to me.
 

More than the person you hurt?

No. I guess I just thought maybe she’d understand.
 

Some things are hard to understand. Why do you have to choose between the things that mean so much to you?

I was hoping I didn’t have to.
 

Yet you keep making the choice.
 

I was told what to do.
 

Maybe she was too. The difference might just be that she refused.
 

She can do that. I can’t.
 

Why not? What is it that stops you from refusing to do what you are told?
 

Dreams. Job. Life.
 

Are you really fulfilling your dreams if they turn you into a person you aren’t happy with?
 

That’s profound.

Don’t be a smart ass. I’m serious.
 

I haven’t changed Lexi.
 

Or have you?
 

Why does it have to be me that gives up what I find important?
 

Why do you have to give up one to have another?
 

I didn’t say I did.
 

Then maybe you shouldn’t act like that is the way it is.
 

I want her to forgive me.
 

I’m sure she does.
 

I want her to still care about me.
 

I’m sure she does Nick. You are wanting the wrong thing.
 

What should I be wanting?
 

That’s what you need to figure out.
 

That’s not much help Lexi.
 

If I tell you what to think and feel, then it isn’t genuine. Nick, you have to decide for yourself if you are going to get the answer you want.
 

I wish I could kiss her and tell her how sorry I am.
 

Yea-- me too.
 

He never replied after that. He just let it go and so did I. As much as I cared about him, I was hurt and angry. It also bothered me that he’d yet to take responsibility for what he’d done. In his mind he was justified because he’d been told to do it. That didn’t fly with me.
 

I drifted to sleep quickly, but it was a fitful and unhappy night. I didn’t rest at all and only wanted to fix the situation with Evan. Problem was, I was pretty sure it was going to get worse before it got better.
 

A fact I would undoubtedly realize was true when I woke up.
 

*****

Chapter 9

“Damn,” It was all Kendall could manage to say.

I’d spent the previous half hour explaining to her what had happened at the HRC hearing and then with Evan at lunch. I was still upset, even though he’d tried to soften it with the Facebook conversation.
 

“Things weren’t this rough when you guys didn’t even like each other,” she pointed out between bites of fudge.
 

“Thanks,” I rolled my eyes at her, “Nice to have some support here.”

“Sorry Lex,” she shrugged. “I just don’t understand I guess. I mean you guys despised each other and still managed to handle things okay. Now that you are dating neither of you can seem to deal with the problems.”

“I can deal with problems,” I argued. “I just can’t deal with being blindsided by things like this. We are supposed to be together. Why would he just set me up to fail?”

“It’s his job?”
 

“You’re starting to sound like him. It’s a
job
. They are everywhere. Why ruin someone else for it?”

“Wow,” she acted surprised by what I’d said.
 

“Wow what?”

“Nothing,” shaking her head she took another bite of the candy.
 

“If you have something to say, say it.”

“Would you give up the shop for him?” she looked at me knowing the answer I would give.
 

“That’s not the same thing,” I argued.
 

“Sure it is,” she wasn’t going to let up. “If you having the shop caused him problems, would you give it up?”

“Of course not! I worked hard to be able to open this. It’s my business. It’s what I do. It’s who I am!”

“But he’s supposed to give up what he does and who he is for you?”
 

“It’s different,” I tried to explain. “I own this. This is mine. His is just…”

“A job?” She asked. “Like the rest of us have? So because we don’t own our businesses the work we do is expendable?”
 

“I didn’t say that,” her argumentative side getting on my nerves.
 

“Then why should he give up a job for you when you wouldn’t do the same for him?”

I opened my mouth to answer but the words didn’t come out. It was in that moment that I realized she was right. I was asking something from him that I wasn’t even willing to give in return. Hell, I wouldn’t even give up the volunteer job for him, let alone the one that paid my bills.
 

I was a hypocrite. I was mad at him for doing what he had to do. I was angry at him for refusing to put me before his career. This was his design. His dream. And I was acting like it was a personal insult to me. What kind of a person was I?

“You’re right,” I mouthed quietly, picking up my phone. “I was wrong. I need to see him.”

*****

Evan

“So how are things with this woman that has turned your head?” Lucas asked.
 

I had decided to spend my lunch hour having a long overdue phone conversation with my brother. I needed his advice considering he was far more familiar with women than I was. Besides, I was beginning to feel completely alone in the small southern town that was growing to hate me.
 

“They could be better bro,” I answered honestly. “It’s not going so hot and I don’t have a damn clue how to fix it.”

“So tell me what’s happened and I’ll give ya my two cents,” he laughed. “Not that I’m super successful with women.”

“No, I’d pretty much do the exact opposite of what you’d do,” I teased. Lucas had been with many women, none of which he could seem to hold onto. He seemed to prefer it that way.
 

“That just might work for ya,” he joked. “So spill it. What went wrong?”

I leaned back in the chair at my desk and began to tell him everything. I shared about the previous battle we’d had and how it’d brought us closer. I told him about how I’d felt when the community hated me. I confessed how much she’d meant to me.
 

Then I told him about the design offer and how I’d refused. I talked about how Lexi had insisted before she’d known and how she’d been worried once she found out. Then the tactics that the company was using and that I was the one having to handle it because it was my design. I shared about our lunch conversation and then the Facebook chat.
 

I told him how the Society was using our relationship to try and push her out of her position but she was standing her ground and yet I was cowering to everything ordered to me.
 

Like always, he just listened. He let me pour out all of my feelings and he didn’t interrupt or try to stop me from talking. Then he gave me his advice. The most honest and heartfelt thing he knew to say. That I had to find a way to be happy with the choices I was making. If I chose Lexi and said goodbye to the design, I’d resent myself and her. If I lost her over the design I’d resent my job. I had to find a way to have both and be peaceful with the decision.
 

He was right. I knew that much. I just didn’t know how to achieve any of that. I wasn’t sure how to manage both and keep from offending either my boss or the girl I care so much about.
 

“Thanks for the chat bro,” my lunch time was almost up and I needed to get back to work. The company had a lot of things going on and we only had two weeks to present our petition for approval. That meant I had to work on getting out into the community and making them favorable for the idea.
 

Before I had a chance to dive back into the paperwork my cell phone went off. It was a text from Lexi. She wanted us to have dinner that night and there was nothing I’d like to do more. Maybe this would be the answer to get things back where they need to be.
 

For the remainder of the day I focused on making plans. I scheduled with the city for a small event in the area where the resort would be located. We were going to provide some activities and a chance to get further information on the resort and the potential benefit to the city of Asheville.
 

I sent the order for brochures and flyers to the graphics department so that they could get something worked up and printed. I met with Brad and Morgan to discuss the details of the event that would take place in a few days.
 

“You’re doing a great job Monroe,” Morgan offered with a pat on the back. “We also have a little surprise that will help us out a bit.”

“What’s that?”

“Well now it’s not much of a surprise if we tell you,” Brad laughed. “Trust me, it will help build trust in us.”

“Okay?” I questioned, feeling left out of something important.
 

“Or at the very least it will help the Preservation Society lose some of their support.”

“We don’t really need to attack the society,” I argued. “They are only doing what they believe in.”

“We aren’t attacking them,” Morgan corrected. “We are simply taking advantage of their own flaws to help better our position.”

“Why can’t we just appeal honestly and hope the community favors us?”

“Monroe,” Morgan’s voice became stern. “There’s a shit ton of money being thrown into
your
design. I don’t have money to throw away on hoping. I have to make sure this is going to work. The last one cost me a fucking fortune I didn’t have. Now,” he leaned across the desk and stared into my eyes. “You can be with us, or you can be against us,” he leaned back. “The choice is yours. I can do this design without your input.”

I hated the man more every day. He knew what I’d say.
 

“Of course I’m with you.”

“Good,” he replied. “Make sure this event is scheduled and goes well. I’ll take care of the rest.”

With that I left his office, angry and feeling trapped. The only thing that helped me get through the last couple of hours was knowing that it wouldn’t be long until I was sitting with Lexi and making things okay. Whatever the company was up to didn’t matter. In a couple of weeks it’d all be over and we could live our normal lives again.