Precious Blessings (Love Inspired) (12 page)

“Good idea.” She felt much better when Jack was in his seat, dripping rainwater like a wet dog.

Poor man. He was still half smiling, though. There was a silver lining. It was good to know just how a man you were dating handled it when things didn't go as planned. She was surprised he was as flexible as he
was; she wasn't surprised he was as capable. His broad shoulders were as straight as ever.

Lightning blinded them. Instantaneous thunder hit with a force that rocked the SUV. Rain turned to hail, hitting with jackhammer force.

“This is a fun date so far, don't you think?” Jack quipped.

“It's certainly unique.”

His grin turned into a full-fledged smile, making dimples dig into his lean cheeks and those laugh lines crinkle handsomely in the corners of his eyes. “The storm's moving behind us. I'm going to jog up the road a ways and try to get reception. You aren't going to run off on me?”

“Unlike some women, I never run off until after dessert.”

He laughed softly. “That's a relief. And I know you can't drive off with the car.”

She laughed, too, and he was gone, jogging off through the downpour. There, a big substantial man, and then the veil of hail closed around him and he disappeared.

She'd never felt so sorely alone. Things were not going well, but it didn't seem so bad. Because it wasn't the string of unfortunate events that mattered, not compared to the feeling of simply being with him. It was like a fire crackling in a fireplace at night. Like being home, safe and warm, and glad to be there. Being with him was easier now that her nerves had faded. She really liked how he handled problems, how he tended toward humor, how he made her soul feel bright.

When he ran back into sight, even more drenched
and bedraggled, gladness filled her. She'd officially moved out of the hesitant stage and landed with both feet into the uh-oh phase. She couldn't stop her heart from opening right up, hopes and fears and worries and everything exposed. Almost completely vulnerable.

This was not a sensible phase to be in. Not sensible at all. It was all feeling, all heart, and when he smiled at her and opened the door, she fell for him a smidgeon more.

“Apparently every tow truck in the county is out on a call,” he explained as he dropped behind the wheel and pulled the door closed against the gusting wind. “But I got hold of Jonas. He's got a spare in his rig he'll bring right over. He's on his way now. So we'll be a few minutes late, but not out of the ballpark. They'll hold our reservation. I called.”

Oh, and it was impossible not to fall even harder for a man who was so organized. “You just think of everything.”

“So far, so good.” Headlights cut through the rear window as a pickup pulled onto the shoulder behind them. That would be Jonas to the rescue. “Sit tight, and we'll be on the road before they can give our reservation away.”

“That would be a real disaster,” Katherine teased. “After going through all this for no food.”

That made him laugh, the deep rumbling sound she loved so much. For a moment their gazes met, and the impact rolled through her like joy. She felt his smile in her heart before he hopped back into the cold hail and angry wind and shut the door, leaving her with adoration filling her soul.

 

Did he dare to hope that this was all the disaster he was going to have to face for the evening? Even though he was soaking wet from the storm, Jack felt cautiously confident as he drove the last quarter mile. The road crested, and there was the restaurant, tucked in a corner of a small mall up ahead. Bright lights of the steakhouse glittered on the wet pavement, now that the precipitation had stopped.

“Wow, they're really busy,” Katherine commented as he pulled into the mall.

He eased into place behind a long line of taillights glowing in the dark. He counted ten cars lined up ahead of him waiting to get into the restaurant's parking lot. He checked his watch. It was ten minutes after seven. Now he was glad he'd called the hostess. She'd promised to hold their table. Now, the challenge was to find parking in the jammed lot.

Luck was with him when a car backed out of a spot, and he cut down the back row to slide into the vacated spot. Mission complete. After he'd helped Katherine from her seat, he tucked her hand in his, and it felt good. It felt right, with her at his side.

“Everyone in Bozeman must be here,” Katherine said. “Look at the crowd.”

“It's a good thing they're holding our reservation.” Or they would be out of luck, he thought, studying the shivering couples standing beneath the awning, apparently willing to put up with the temperatures to wait for a table.

This place really must be good, he thought, eyeing the jammed vestibule. The waiting area was standing
room only. He made eye contact with the woman behind the hostess's stand but she ignored him, grabbed a menu and sauntered out of sight. She wore an apron, clearly a waitress and not the hostess he'd talked to.

When he saw a man settle in behind the stand, a bad feeling hit him head-on. He felt Katherine's hand squeeze his, smelled the soft sweetness of her shampoo as she nudged close. “That's the guy I told you about.”

What happened to the hostess? Jack planted his feet, determined to ward off the sense of doom settling over him like a thunder cell.

The man behind the stand smiled wide. “Caroline! It's good to see you again. Do you have a reservation?”

“Hi, Alvin. It's nice to see you, too.” Katherine answered, polite as always. “I believe we do have a reservation. The name is Jack Munroe.” She caught Jack's eye for confirmation.

His chest cinched so tight with powerful affection for her, he couldn't speak. He managed a nod, seeing nothing but her, and the seconds stretched into forever. It was a scary thing, how hard and fast he'd fallen in love with her.

He hadn't minded changing both tires in the storm; he didn't feel cold although he was wet to the skin. Usually, something like two flat tires in a hailstorm would rank on his worst-date-disaster list, but how could anything be bad when he was with Katherine? She smiled, and his soul brightened.

He didn't care what he had to take on. Any hardship would be easy as long as he was with her.

Alvin's voice broke into Jack's thoughts. “I'm sorry, Mr. Munroe, but we had to give your reservation away. We have a two-hour wait, and you're late.”

Okay, Jack thought, hopes sinking.
This
is a disaster of humungous proportion. A full ten on the Richter scale. A category-five hurricane.

He had a lot on the line. How in heaven's name was he going to be able to salvage this?

W
hy wasn't she surprised? Katherine watched the hostess give Alvin a headshake and a “this is typical” sigh.

“You
never
listen,” the hostess said. “I told you to hold the table.”

“It's too bad. They were late anyway.” Alvin pulled rank. “Caroline, would you like me to add you and your date to the waiting list?”

Katherine glanced around her at the crush of people. More hungry customers had arrived and were standing behind her and Jack. She heard a woman directly behind her whisper to her husband, “What? Did he say a two-hour wait? No sense getting on the waiting list. Let's get out of here.”

Sounded like a good idea to her. She caught Jack's gaze and without words she knew what he was thinking. He crooked one brow. She nodded. “We won't get seated until nine. It's too long of a time to wait.”

His hand tightened gently around hers; it was like a
connection of the spirit. “There's another restaurant at the other end of the mall—”

“It has a ninety-minute wait,” a man said, standing to Jack's left. “The wife and I thought, forget that, and came over here, and look what that got us. But by the time we drive back over to the other place and wait, it'll be nine o'clock either way.”

“Thanks.” Jack turned to Katherine. “What do you want to do?”

He made it sound as if anything she said would be okay. Like they were in this together. “At this point, I'd be happy with fast food from a drive-through that we eat in the car.”

Jack leaned closer. “Why don't we see if we can order here to go? Eat in the car? It might not take that long, and we'd get a good steak out of the deal.”

“I vote yes.”

“Then let me grab some menus, Caroline.” He moved away from her, leaving her laughing.

She liked him. Way too much. She knew she was watching him with her heart, seeing not with just her eyes, as he exchanged some words with Alvin, who didn't look too happy but handed over two menus.

As she studied her menu, practically crushed against Jack's chest in the crowded waiting area, she hardly noticed the words before her. All she could see was Jack. See there were new layers to him she never would have guessed existed on the first night they'd met. He was resourceful and solved problems sensibly. Even standing in a fine restaurant wet and windblown, he still had a sense of humor.

“I've got my mind made up,” he said, snapping his menu closed.

“Me, too.” She wasn't referring to the menu choices, but the man towering over her.

When the hostess was ready, they gave their orders. Jack ordered a couple of appetizers so they could have immediate sustenance. Katherine followed Jack's lead through the waiting room, the jammed vestibule and onto the sidewalk. The storm clouds tore apart to reveal a half moon shimmering like platinum, lighting their way back to the SUV.

“This wasn't what I had in mind for our first date.” Jack apologized as his hand came to rest between her shoulder blades, not exactly hugging her as much as a gentle pressure guiding her. It felt protective and nice.

She definitely felt safe with Jack. “This isn't what I envisioned either, but it could be worse.”

“We both know that from experience. I don't want to end up like Alvin. Get turned down for a second date and then wind up on your worst dating list.”

“The jury's still out.” She couldn't help teasing him. “We'll see what other disasters are lurking in the next few hours before I decide if you merit a place on my list. You never know, maybe it's smooth sailing ahead.”

“I like your optimism, Caroline.”

He paused to open the back passenger door, his hand a branding presence on her upper back. She looked down, afraid her feelings were on her face. What if he could see through her too easily? She accepted a hand up onto the back seat.

“I'll be right back with those appetizers,” he promised, handing her the keys.

“You must really trust me to give me these. I
could
drive away.”

“I know where you live.” He winked, pressed the door shut and ambled away with that confident, athletic stride of his.

She watched him go, feeling the sigh rising up from the bottom of her soul. I'm in so much trouble. I'm falling in love with him.

Definitely the uh-oh stage.

 

Jack knifed a bite of filet and considered the evening so far. Did the pluses outweigh the minuses? He probably wouldn't find out until after dessert. “There's a bonus to eating in the car. It'll be harder for you to duck out on me.”

“It will depend on what you have for dessert, whether I run or stay.” She balanced the plate on her lap, neat as a pin, daintily slicing a tiny bite off her steak.

“You're a good sport, Katherine. I'm trying to think of any other woman I've dated who wouldn't have turned on me after losing the dinner reservation.”

“Turning on you would have made no sense. I was starving.” The glitter in her eyes, one of humor and
maybe
something deeper, said otherwise.

That was exactly what he wanted to know. “This steak is the best I've ever had. It was worth all it took to get here. Even—” Rain drops began to ping on the roof. “—this ambiance. It's one of a kind.”

“It's memorable. Hey, I haven't asked you how Hayden liked working with Marin. Am I right in thinking that today was her last volunteer day?”

Jack nodded, chewing, considering how to answer that tactfully, but he told the truth. “She hasn't been happy about this, or a lot of the changes I've imposed on her. I'm not sure how this will work out, or if I'm doing the right thing by standing firm or if I'm pushing too hard. I just have to hang in there and have faith that good intentions matter in the long run.”

“I know they do.”

“I've thought about what you said. About your dad. That his staying and his leadership made a bigger impact than your mom's leaving. That's what I want to show my daughter. The loss of her mother is always going to be a wound she carries, but you also said something else I think is true. That we learn to live again, even with the scar.”

“We have my dad to thank for that. It's his wisdom. And my grandmother's. You credit me with far too much.”

Modest. He loved that about her; he couldn't quite believe she didn't know how remarkable she was. When she opened herself up like this, it was easy to see the shadows she carried. Everyone had them, but not everyone coped as well.

Heaven knew he hadn't coped well. “I see a lot of difficult things in my line of work. Accidents. Violence. Kidnappings. A lot of injustice. I always wondered how good people dealt with the consequences of those things. Did it ruin their lives? Sometimes, I saw that it
did. But I didn't know until it happened to me what it took to get past the trauma.”

She stopped eating to watch him. The overhead dome light glowed enough to see the secrets shadowing her eyes and in the air between them.

“Several years ago, a hot July afternoon, the last seventeen minutes of my shift, I was responding to a call,” he found himself saying. “A multiple-car injury accident, blocking a major route north of the city. Heidi, Hayden and I, we had plans to go out for hamburgers and a movie. That's what was on my mind, not wanting to disappoint them if I was late.”

He closed his eyes against the images. “When I pulled up, I saw a minivan just like ours. Medium blue, same make and model, sideswiped at high speed by an industrial van. Both vehicles were destroyed and blocking the intersection. It was a mess. Another unit had pulled in ahead of me. Decker held up a hand, told me to stay back. That I didn't want to see this.”

It was his wife. Katherine heard that thought as if it were her own, in her mind and in her heart. She felt the cold wall of grief. Of Jack's grief. She reached across the plates on the seat between them and laid her hand on the back of his.

“There was nothing I could do. Nothing anyone could do. She was already gone. It was impossible to accept. What was harder was learning she'd caused the accident on the way to pick up Hayden at school. She'd run a red light. The impact of the collision had involved other cars. Two kids and their mother were hurt. They all recovered eventually.” He fell silent.

The air seemed to vibrate with his pain. “This had to be devastating for you and Hayden. It was sudden.”

“Wait, what am I doing? This is too much information. I didn't mean to talk about this tonight. I've blown it. You're waiting for the dessert so you can get home.”

How could she feel so connected emotionally to this man that she could feel his pain, and yet he couldn't sense her feelings? “I'm not reaching for my cell to call a cab.”

“For all I know you have a cab company on speed dial.”

“I'll be able to hold off dialing for a while.” Humor softened the gentle curves of her face.

The compassion he felt made it easier to let go of his worries. Maybe the success of a first date wasn't so much that every thing and every conversation had to go right. Perhaps what really mattered was the emotional connection forged between two people.

Maybe that's what Katherine was looking for, too. Maybe this evening wouldn't be as bust as he thought. The sight of her slim hand resting over his, soft and small and delicate, broke him open in a way he'd never experienced before.

“When the lab reports came back with Heidi's toxicology report, I was stunned.” He paused. “I didn't believe it. Not even after I saw her credit card statement detailing that she'd been at a local bar, and it wasn't the first time. She handled the finances so I didn't suspect. I also found cancelled checks to liquor stores.”

“She hid that from you.”

“She did. It was against her beliefs, and she hid it
from me. Looking back, I should have known. Heidi had several miscarriages after Hayden. The doctor finally told her no more. I think her grief was something I just couldn't help her with. I tried.”

“But she kept that from you, too.”

“I don't want to lose Hayden the same way.”

“Is that why you moved here?”

He nodded. “The stages of grief sound clichéd until you go through them, or watch someone you love move through them. Hayden hit depression and seemed to stick there. She started being unreliable. She lost all of her close friends. Made new friendships with kids who got into trouble and drank.”

“I bet that scared you.”

“At the first sign of it, I gave a knee-jerk reaction. I had to protect her. She's still my little girl. I called some of my old friends who lived in other states, looking to relocate. I figured it might be better to start over somewhere without all the memories.”

“After my mom left, the memories were the hardest part.” She thought of her teen years and had to push down those recollections. “Maybe sad memories are always the toughest.”

“I think you can try to deny them or block them. But they stick with you, whether you want to acknowledge them or not.” He grimaced. “Too much information, right?”

“No.”

“I'm not going to top Alvin on your date-disaster list?”

Like an arrow to her heart. Katherine closed her
eyes. Of course he didn't know what he'd said. “You're not going to have to worry about topping my
funniest
date disaster list. Alvin isn't dethroned yet.”

He looked at her for a moment, as if he could see past her calm and her will, her struggle to keep the past buried. Panic jolted through her like a lightning strike. Had she said too much? What if he'd heard what she hadn't said? Dani's words rang through Katherine's mind.
If this Jack guy isn't the kind of man to accept what happened to you, then he isn't good enough for you.

Just be rational, Katherine. She knew Danielle was right. It was what she believed, too. But a woman's heart didn't run on logic. She cared about Jack, she was falling for Jack. And she didn't know enough about him to be sure he would understand. She suspected he might. She hoped he might.

But if he didn't, his rejection was going to hurt. Once, it hadn't occurred to her that a man might not understand. Until Kevin, a man she'd known all her life, a man she'd come to love with all her heart, didn't want her after he knew the truth. His words still haunted her.
You've ruined the most sacred gifts a wife can give to her husband. If a woman can't keep herself for marriage for any reason, then she's not a good Christian.

For any reason. As if she hadn't fought as hard as she could. As if she'd chosen what had happened to her. Kevin's love had vanished, just like that. When she most needed his acceptance, he'd looked at her with contempt.

One man's lack of compassion is not what I want to determine my life, she thought, willing down the panic.
One man's heart wasn't big enough to be compassionate. It didn't mean another man's wouldn't be. That Jack's wouldn't be.

“Katherine, look at that.”

Jack's baritone shattered her thoughts, and she followed his gesture toward the side window where an elderly couple, walking hand in hand, approached the neighboring car. The low murmur of their voices, the close intimacy of it, spoke of a devoted, successful marriage.

See, it wasn't a dream. It happened to some people. It could happen to her. Katherine watched the husband unlock and hold the door for his wife. Although rain slicked the side window, she didn't miss the honest affection the man and woman exchanged with a simple look, in a single moment in time.

There was real love, the kind that lasted. It made her wish. Just wish.

“If you're done,” Jack said, “I'll take this stuff back to the hostess. It was nice of her to trust us with their real plates instead of plastic. It made this a little nicer.”

“Plus, it's easier to cut the steak with a real knife instead of a plastic one.” Katherine managed a smile. Managed to tuck away her wishes and dreams and the vestiges of the past. “What about dessert?”