Praetorian Series [4] All Roads Lead to Rome (5 page)

Even now, I still found it hard to believe that they had spent half a decade here, cut off from anything familiar or normal.  I’d seen it in Jacob’s face the entire time I’d been here.  I barely even recognized him anymore, and while I knew most of the gauntness and wear in his face had only just recently arrived thanks to the orb’s exposure, I knew there was more to it.  He was too much like my own Jacob, and I wasn’t sure how he would have survived without a friend like John in his life, or, more importantly, a loving figure like Helena.

I looked up as my thoughts drifted to Helena again, as they persistently did since the events of a few days ago.  Everyone in our group stood around a pair of graves dug into the ground just outside the walls of the legion fort.  Other graves had been dug elsewhere for legionnaires and Praetorians, but this location was for us – secluded and private from the still chaotic din of post-battle affairs.  Both graves were identically shaped, but one was tiny in comparison to the other, no bigger than a shoebox.

The bodies of Vincent and my nephew had been buried and covered minutes ago, but not a single prayer, blessing, or benediction had been uttered since our group had arrived, and not even a whisper had been exchanged either.  Archer stood aloof from us, swaying slightly in place, perhaps still affected by the beating Jacob had inflicted on him, or perhaps because of his own guilt.  Everyone was quite surprised to see him here, even if I was still the only one to know his secret.

Beside me, wrapping their way clockwise around the graves, were TJ, Georgia, and Alex.  None of them had known Vincent very well either, but I knew they’d respected the hell out of the man, as I had as well.  His friendship and special relationship with Jacob had been obvious the moment we’d seen the two interact, and the way in which that relationship had ended was heartbreaking, even to a trio of seasoned combat troopers like them.

Beside Alex was Helena, who seemed to loom large in our gathered group, far larger than she ever had before.  Beside her stood Jeanne, who towered over Helena but seemed somehow insignificant beside her.  Next came James, who appeared only a little better than Archer, but had the immense native woman, Warrior-Queen Boudicca of the Iceni tribe, for support.

I hadn’t known what to think of her when she and her trio of escorts had presented themselves to us on Anglesey Island.  She was an individual of prodigious stature, easily the next biggest person here next to Jeanne, but even after all our time together, I still wasn’t sure if I trusted her.  She’d weaseled herself into Jacob’s life so effortlessly, but it may not have been so easy had it not been for the orb’s interference, which only compounded my distrust of her. It was as if the orb had brought her into our inner circle for its own malicious reasons.

I would have thought to keep my eye on her had I any confidence that I could do something about her should the need arise, but I couldn’t challenge her any more than a fly could challenge a hungry frog.  I only hoped James kept his eye on her, which could be a struggle as well since he’d been doing everything he could to keep his eyes away from her since the beginning.

Then there was Gaius and Marcus, the two Roman Praetorians who hadn’t had an empress to protect in months, ever since they’d turned their backs on Agrippina to help Jacob and the others.  They seemed like good men, but like most people from this time period, I didn’t know them very well, mostly because of the language barrier – but at least that barrier was slowly coming down

Finally, between Marcus and me was the Roman general, Galba.  No one had expected to see him here, but he’d arrived just as Jeanne and Alex had packed the last bit of earth atop Vincent’s body.  He’d come quietly and slid into place beside me, not even bothering to glance in my direction, settling instead to simply hold silent vigil over our fallen friend and the nephew all of us had wanted but would never have the chance to meet.

Only John was missing.  He was still healing from his wounds, but was well on his way to recovery.  Back when Jacob had been the brother I’d remembered, he and James had often joked how nothing could kill John, because his desire to annoy the world was greater than the world’s ability to stop him.

I only hoped there was more truth to that idea than logically possible.

So there we stood as we had been for the past ten minutes, twelve individuals from different timelines, time periods, backgrounds, and cultures, brought together to mourn the passing of two individuals taken well before their time.  Taken not by Jacob, but by a power far beyond our understanding, one that had turned my brother into some kind of agent for its own grand design.  What that power was, none of us could really say, but whether it was of its own innate energy or orchestrated by this Merlin character Jacob had gone to see – whoever he really was – or anyone else, no one yet knew.  The only one of us with any idea about anything was Jacob, and he was gone.

After minutes of silence, I expected Helena to finally say something, but as I focused on her standing across from me, I found nothing in her to suggest that she was even aware of where she was.  She simply stared at the small mound, her eyes focused and unblinking, her jaw clenched tightly as though in anger or in an attempt to hold back tears.

The silence was beginning to grow unbearable, and I decided it was time for someone to say something, anything, but before I could think of anything to say, Galba unceremoniously turned on his heel and left the circle.  I wasn’t sure anyone was upset at his departure.  We all knew he was a busy man and had things to do, but his self-dismissal began a chain reaction that sent everyone on their way in silence.

Next went Archer, slinking away from the group, followed by James, whom I figured must have been eager to rest and recover from his concussion.  Boudicca seemed conflicted about whether or not to follow him, deciding to stay after watching him go for a moment.  Gaius and Marcus drifted away next, a seemingly inseparable pair of friends, much as Jacob and John had been. 

TJ, Georgia, and Alex left next. The trio was probably more confused and lost than everyone else. Their mission was still incomplete and perhaps even irrelevant thanks to what happened to Jacob.

Then went Jeanne, crossing himself as he turned to leave, but not before placing a large, consoling hand on Helena’s shoulder as he leaned in to whisper to her.  She didn’t react to whatever he’d said, but he didn’t seem to mind as he finally walked away, offering me a respectful nod as he left – the only one who seemed to care about me at all.

That left only Helena, Boudicca, and me.

I wanted to reach out and comfort Helena, but I wasn’t sure she would want my support.  Jacob would have known how to help her, or at least where to start.  He’d always been an idiot with other girlfriends, but he truly loved Helena and always tried his best, and she was willing to overlook his often clumsy efforts because she loved him as well.

But that had been before the orb.

Now, I wasn’t sure what Helena felt anymore.  But the way in which Jacob had killed Vincent, allowed Agrippina to stab John, and escaped with her proved to me that he no longer felt anything at all.  I’d been so angry with him after the orb had driven him to madness the first time, before we’d encountered Agrippina here in the wilderness, and I had been ready to disown him forever.  But then then he’d suddenly gotten better, and now I understood everything he’d done had been because of the orb.

Merlin had indicated to Jacob that the orb was most enticing when a person was at his weakest moments, just as he had been after losing his son and being exhausted from his month long imprisonment by the man who was supposed to have helped him.  If he’d had a weaker moment in his life, I didn’t want to know of it, and Jacob had suffered and succumbed like a drug addict in need of another hit. It was made even more tragic by the fact that he’d been unaware of the addictive properties of the orb to begin with, and that he hadn’t chosen for the drug to enter into his life at all.

After collecting my thoughts, I decided it was time to help Helena, but I was distracted as Boudicca leaned over and picked up an enormous pack overflowing with gear, weaponry, and clothing.  Although I’d noticed its presence earlier, I’d simply assumed it was customary for tribal warriors like her to carry such gear everywhere she went, but when she hefted the pack and began to walk away from the camp, I immediately understood her intentions.

Leaving Helena alone for a moment, I jogged to catch up to Boudicca and then fell in step with her. Our eyes met, but I didn’t know what to say to her – probably because I wasn’t sure how to say it in a way she would understand.

Boudicca took the initiative, and pointing toward the distant tree line, she said, “Jacob.  Must protect.  Oath.”

Her Latin was far better than mine, even spoken with a thick accent that garbled her words, but I understood enough of it.

“No,” I said, placing a hand on her arm, somehow managing to stop the powerful woman.  “Stay.  Help us.  Find Jacob together.”

“No,” she said, shaking her head.  “Too slow.  My land.  Will move faster alone.  Goodbye, young Hunter.”

She took off, going from a standing position to a full on sprint in two footsteps.  I watched her go, impressed by her speed under such a heavy load, and softly wished her luck.  There was little more I could do.  I certainly hoped she found Jacob and was able to help him or, at least, keep him out of trouble.

Breathing an enormous sigh, I returned to Helena, who hadn’t moved. She lifted her head at my arrival and without hesitation, threw her arms out wide once I was a step away, engulfing me in a hug.  I struggled under the power of her embrace but she eased up when I gasped, giving me the opportunity to wrap my arms around her back and hold her tightly as well.  She wasn’t that much taller than me, and our heads rested upon one another’s shoulders comfortingly.  She continued to hold me tightly, but I was surprised that the only sobs and tears to come from either of us were coming from me.

We stood there for several minutes, the sisterly bond I’d thought we’d formed months ago returning and strengthening as we grieved over a common concern.  She had lost her son and the man she loved so much that she considered herself his wife, and I had lost a boy I considered my nephew and the man who had been my big brother for as long as I’d been alive.  Although our losses weren’t the same, they were still devastating to each of us, alternate timelines or multiple dimensions be damned.

I loved this Jacob equally as much as the one I’d known in my world.

They were the same person.  They were both my brother.  And like Helena, I wasn’t going to just sit back and let my brother slide into hatred and madness, stripping him of every quality and virtue that I, and so many others, had come to love in him.  If anyone was going to help him, I would. Helena’s unexpected comfort helped stem the flow of tears from my eyes and I eventually found the strength to pull away from her embrace.  She let me go, but neither one of us was quite yet ready to let the other go completely, and I kept a firm grip on her hands.  She did the same, and I felt the unbelievable strength in her, the kind that could pick up a grown man and carry him through a Roman camp.

The kind she shouldn’t possess.

I couldn’t let it go.

“Helena,” I said.  “I have to know, what happened…”

But before I could get it out, she interrupted me.  “This is the second time I’ve had to bury friends in this wretched place,” she said.  “The first time hadn’t hurt much, but this time… this time it’s destroying me.”

Her words came out with so little emotion, I wasn’t sure if she even knew she’d said them, and I forgot completely about my own thoughts.  “Helena, it’s okay to be upset.  It’s part of what makes us human.”

“I’m not upset,” she said, turning her head toward the graves.  “I’m more than upset.  I’m furious.”

I sighed and shook Helena’s hands, forcing her to return her focus to me.  “It’s all right to grieve, Helena.  You lost your son.  And I know Vincent was more than just a friend.  He was…”

“I can’t afford to grieve, Diana,” Helena said, pausing for a second as she squeezed my hands, looking off into the distance momentarily before back to me.  “I would burn the world down around me if doing so offered me the chance to save Jacob.  Losing him… losing our son, it’s changed me, Diana.  I’m not sure I can work with Galba; I need to go, now, and find him before it’s too late.”

I leaned in just a bit closer.  “You know you can’t do that.  It’s too dangerous, and you know the guys won’t let you go alone.”

Helena stiffened but finally nodded.  “I know.  It’s just that he means so much to me and I can’t let him just… suffer like this.  The only thing I have left in this world is Jacob.  I can’t let myself grieve until I find him, until I save him, until I have
something
to hang on to.

“You already have something, Helena,” I said quickly.  “You have me, and John, and Jeanne, and all the others.  We’re your family too.”

Helena finally smiled at that moment, but it was a weak one.  “I know that, Artie.  Jacob never really understood that, but I always did.  We were both such solitary individuals in our past lives, neither one of us having very many people that we could rely on, but while Jacob never really understood that, even with me, coming here changed everything for me.  Getting to know Santino and Vincent, Jeanne and Wang, Gaius, Marcus, Madrina, Titus and all the others, and now you, has assured me I’ll never be alone again.  I just wish Jacob had understood that.  Maybe then he would have been strong enough to avoid all this.”