Powder Blu (5 page)

I lay there until I heard the front door close. I quickly got out of bed and got dressed. I rushed down the hallway and locked the front door before dashing to the linen closet to get some clean sheets for my momma's bed. After straightening up her room and the mess Bart had made in the kitchen I walked out into the living room and sat on the couch. I wanted to call my mom and tell her what had just happened to me but somehow she would find a way to blame what happened to me on me and say it's my fault. All she would be worried about was her money and dope. I loved my mom to death and in order to keep her from going to the penitentiary for the rest of her life, I kept what Bart had done to me to myself. I reimbursed her with my own money and hustled even harder to make up for my loss. I knew eventually I would now make Bart pay for what he'd done to me, but right now the only thing I was worried about was getting this money; everything else was secondary.

After Bart raped me, I never looked at life or my momma the same. To this day I still blamed her for my innocence being taken away from me. If she would have just let me go to Nikki and Sierra's party, instead of me watching the door for her, that shit would have never happened to me. Bart only made me more curious about sex. I started having urges of wanting to be fucked. I didn't know if that was normal and didn't care. All I knew was that I had an itch that needed to be scratched. I found myself doing some of the same shit I always criticized my momma for doing. I was sneaking different niggas in and out of the house while her and Miguel was gone, giving them my precious jewels. My name was ringing throughout the hood and my reputation was shot. I was known as the bitch who would fuck yo' man for nothing and didn't give two shits about it. I got into a lot of fights with the neighborhood rats behind my promiscuous ways. I didn't care about that either. I knew my life was starting to spiral out of control when I finally gave in and slept with Nikki's funky-breath cousin Oscar. After stooping that low, I knew it was time for me to take a step back, take a long look at my life, and get my shit together if I ever wanted to find a man who would love and respect me.

After a long night of kicking it over Nikki's, I lay on the couch chilling with a pounding headache from all the cheap beers I had thrown back. My mood instantly changed when my momma walked in the front door with her new boyfriend, Craig.

“Blu, why yo' ass ain't in school?” she asked.

I rolled my eyes to the top of my head. At first I started not to answer, but I knew how ignorant she could get in front of company. “The same reason why I ain't been since school started,” I replied smartly, not being able to resist.

My momma walked over and looked down at me. “You betta watch yo' fuckin' mouth! I don't know what has gotten into you these past few months, but you betta check yo'self,” she warned angrily.

I looked up at her, unfazed by her threat. “Yeah, a'iiiight,” I replied nonchalantly. Before I saw it coming, my momma slapped the cowboy piss out of me. I quickly jumped up from the couch and stood in her face.

“I done told you about that smart-ass mouth of yours!” she snapped all while poking me in the forehead with her finger.

As angry as I was, I didn't reply. I just stood there breathing heavily staring as tears fell from my eyes, holding my stinging face.

“You lookin' at me like you want some work! Do somethin',” she said shoving me.

I stumbled a few steps backward and continued staring at her. I had half a mind to just start swinging and then there was the other half that told me I knew better than to think that I could even begin to hold my own against her. I knew one thing. I wanted to put my hands on her so bad I could taste it, but two things stopped me: one, I needed a place to live; and two, I knew if I hit her, she would stomp a Mississippi mud hole in my ass.

“Come on, Stacey, let the girl alone,” Craig said, walking up behind her, grabbing her by the arm.

“Fuck her! She gets on my damn nerves. Around here talkin' and actin' like she grown and shit,” my momma fussed as she took Craig's advice and left me the hell alone.

I turned and walked to my room to pack me some clothes. I had to get the hell outta her house. I could still hear her bitching in the front room as I packed my shit.

“She don't think I know what her ass is out here doin' in these streets. Oh, these streets talk! Out here callin' herself sellin' drugs and fuckin' out of both draw legs like she grown! She gon' fuck around and get her little ass hemmed up and think I'ma bail her ass out, not gon' happen!”

The shit my momma was fussing about didn't bother me because what she was saying was true. Indeed, I was out in the streets selling dope and fucking niggas like it was going out of style. Bitch neva bailed me out or helped me out so I didn't know why she was even still talking. What hurt me was she never took responsibility or even owned up to the fact that I was the way I was because of her. I shook my head in disgust and continued stuffing all I could in my back pack and walked out of my room.

My momma looked over at me like I was the scum of the earth as I headed to the front door. “Don't bring ya ass back here either until you can start showin' me some respect!” she yelled as I opened the front door.

I turned around and looked at her with nothing but pure hatred and kept it moving.

I only had one place to go and that was over to Nikki's house. She'd been telling me for the longest if I ever needed to come stay with her that I was welcome as long as I babysat her kids when she went to work at the strip club and wanted to go out. Even though Nikki kept a nasty house with niggas running in and out at all times of the night, and her kids were shepherds for the devil, I guessed living there for the time being wasn't such a bad idea. At least I wouldn't have my momma to answer to. The thought of that put a huge smile on my face.

As I walked down the street I heard someone calling my name. I looked over and it was Cordell standing in front of the corner store with some of his dudes, sucking on sunflower seeds. Cordell was striving to be the big man in the dope game, but he kept taking losses. If he wasn't so busy spending his money on shoes, clothes, and hoes, he probably could have been the man.

“What?” I answered trying not to smile.

“Come here,” he said, smiling.

“What you want?” I asked acting as if I wasn't happy he wanted me to come over to him.

I had been trying to get at Cordell ever since Budz went to jail, but he never paid me any attention. I didn't know if it was because of his girlfriend, Tiffany, who he had tattooed on his chest or all the other randoms he had strung out over him. All I knew was he wasn't checking for me.

“Come see,” he said, spitting a sunflower seed shell on the sidewalk.

“Boy, I got somethin' to do,” I said as I made my way over to him.

“You ain't 'bouta go do nothin' but go over to Nikki's house and sit on the porch. And you already know you wanna come over here,” he joked as he and his dudes laughed.

“What you want?” I asked, with a playful attitude as I walked up to him. Cordell was sexy as fuck, but not as sexy as my baby, Budz. He was at least five feet nine inches with a smooth caramel complexion and even though he was nineteen his baby face would have many swearing he was much younger than he really was.

“Where you 'bouta go?” he asked, looking me up and down.

I can't lie; in the past few months, my hips, ass, and titties had sprouted out of nowhere. I was no longer walking around the hood looking like a boy, but a grown-ass woman. I guessed my momma was right about once I started having sex my curves would come; they were definitely here! The more I thought about the beef between me and my momma, I thought jealousy played a huge part in it. No matter what outfit I put on, she would always give me the side eye. It wasn't my fault I was built like a brick house and not a double wide trailer like she was.

“Why you wanna know?” I asked smartly.

“'Cause he might wanna go wit' you,” one of Cordell's dudes replied.

“Yeah, I might wanna go wit' you.” Cordell smiled while grabbing my hand, sending a chill down my spine.

“Whateva, nigga; you ain't allowed to go nowhere wit' me.” I smiled crookedly.

“Who told you that?” he asked, slightly defensively.

“Tiffany and the rest of ya randoms.” I smirked.

“I'm a grown-ass man! I do what the fuck I wanna do,” he said, loudly as if he had a point to prove to his dudes.

“Whateva,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“You betta ask somebody 'bout me.”

“I don't have to. I know all I need to know,” I said.

“Anyways, where you 'bouta go?” Cordell asked again.

“Over to Nikki's like you said,” I replied.

“I knew it.” He smiled and started looking me up and down again. “How come you ain't neva let me hit? You let everybody else get it,” Cordell asked.

“'Cause you ain't never tried to hit, that's why,” I said while rolling my neck. “Either you so in love wit' Tiffany she got you scared to fuck wit' a bitch like me, or you just downright scared period.”

“Man, please, I ain't scared of shit! Tiffany my main, but you know I fuck who I wanna fuck,” he protested.

“Yeah, a'iiiight, like I said, I'm about to go over to Nikki's house so when you stop bein' scared of this pussy, you know where to find me,” I said and turned to walk away.

“Ohhhh, I guess she told you,” one of his dudes said, laughing.

“She sure did,” another one instigated.

“Blu,” Cordell called out as I walked away, not being able to handle getting called out in front of his dudes.

“What?” I stopped, turned around and asked.

“Come ride wit' me so I can show you how scared I am,” he said, smirking.

“Let's go,” I said, quickly.

“I'll be back,” Cordell looked back at his dudes and said with a huge smile.

“Tear that shit up, nigga,” one of his friends said.

“Oh, I plan on it,” he said as we made our way to his souped-up green Cutlass that was freshly painted and decorated with airbrushed pictures of Kermit the Frog on the hood, doors, and trunk. Cordell hit the switch on his keychain and the butterfly doors opened up. I was impressed but I didn't want Cordell to know. I threw my backpack in the back seat and climbed in. He walked around to the driver's side and got in. He then hit the switch again and the doors came down and closed.

“You sure you ready for this?” he asked, grabbing his dick.

“I should be askin' you if you sure,” I responded as my box pulsated a few times.

“I'm 'bouta show you how sure I am,” he said as he started up his car and pulled off.

I didn't know where we were going; it sure wasn't Nikki's house because we went in the opposite direction. For real for real, I didn't care where we headed, all I wanted was some of the dick that had all these girls going crazy.

“Here, light this,” Cordell said, pulling a blunt from behind his ear.

I took the blunt from his hand, picked a lighter up from his seat and lit it. “Here,” I said, attempting to put it to his lips.

“Naw, you hit it first,” he said, turning his head.

Trying my best to act like I knew what I was doing, I took a long pull from the blunt and instantly began choking.

“Gimme my shit, you don't even know what you doin', girl. This ain't no bunk, this dro,” he said reaching over, grabbing the blunt from my fingers and began smoking it.

“Whateva,” I said once I finished with my coughing spell.

Twenty minutes later, Cordell pulled up into the back of a vacant church and cut his car off. He took two more pulls from his blunt before putting it out in the ashtray.

“You ready?” he looked over at me and asked.

I could tell by Cordell's glassy red eyes that he was high as hell. “Yep,” I answered. I was anxious to finally be able to fuck Cordell. I wanted him almost as bad as I wanted Budz. I knew I would have to get it through my head that Budz would never look at me as nothing more than his little sister, but that didn't stop me from keeping hope alive!

“Take ya clothes off then,” Cordell said.

I did what Cordell asked without hesitation.

He looked my naked body over while biting down on his bottom lip. “You gon' suck my dick?” he said, while reaching over and gently pulling on one of my nipples.

“Take it out,” I said with no qualms.