Post Grid: An Arizona EMP Adventure (21 page)

“Go ahead...”

“Jared,” Kelly said pensively. “I
need
to talk to you about us—about me, I mean.”

“Are you ready to share that? You don't have to.” Jared turned his gaze away, but tightened his grip on her hand.

Without having to look him in the eyes, Kelly felt more free to speak. “I am,” she said. She raised her face toward the sky, staunching tears, and stood silent for a few seconds. “His name was...” she began.

Jared cocked his head to one side; Kelly could see it out of the corner of her eye. He was asking the question,
was?
as clearly as if he had spoken it out loud.

“Was Peter,” she started again. “He was a co-worker of mine—more than a co-worker—and he died.”

Kelly looked up at Jared, who sat absolutely motionless and expressionless, waiting for her to continue.

“We were seeing each other, in Afghanistan, I mean—it was a 'deployment romance.' He was a corpsman, assigned to our clinic on a forward operating base, or FOB. It started innocently enough: close brushes while working in tight spaces, comments about my hair. I loved the attention, and then it just happened. One night, after a routine emergency and replenishment of a returning team's medical bags, he and I went to midnight chow at the DFAC. There were maybe ten people in the place and he started flirting with me, something I didn't expect. His confidence was a turn-on, and the fact that he was
way
junior to me made it more so. Our relationship continued; professional during the day and physical after hours. This lasted and we grew closer.”

Kelly glanced up again to see if Jared looked distressed. Maybe she should stop?

“Go ahead,” he urged softly.

“One day, one of the units we supported needed an extra medic to go 'outside the wire,' to meet with an Afghan tribal chief in a village about twenty kilometers away. Peter had always expressed his wish for more 'gun time' and as a Navy corpsman, felt he should be seeing more action than taking care of the whiny FOB-bound troops. His leadership gave the okay, and onto the trucks he went. I didn't give much thought to it until a voice cracked over the Command Net, which we monitored in the clinic: 'FOX BASE, this is FOX SIX, we're comin' in by ground hot with three wounded, one critical. We'll need a helicopter. Request dustoff ready, have a med team meet us at the front gate past the blast walls, time NOW.”

“The patrol roared through the gate and stopped in the designated area. I saw him, his face drawn and pale, eyes open, expressionless. Waiting for the helicopter, I—I mean
we
—tried to stabilize him the best we could before flying him to Kandahar, but his brain injury was pretty severe. From Kandahar he went on to Germany, where he died.”

“That was the last I ever saw of him,” Kelly sobbed. “We weren't supposed to be having a relationship and I was still deployed. Nobody knew about us. I couldn't openly grieve, couldn't go to be with him, couldn't go to the funeral,” she said, still sobbing. “We had talked about marriage.”

Jared turned Kelly toward him but she put her hand up, motioning for him not to speak, then buried her face in her hands. Jared held her silently.

After some time, when she had calmed her crying enough to speak, she glanced up at him and then hurriedly looked away, hiding her face. She couldn't bear to see him looking at her—seeing her so exposed.

“I'm sorry,” he said quietly, flatly, then ran his hand through her hair.

“I've always thought that if I had gone with him, I could have saved him. I could have nursed him so intensely, loved him so deeply that he would have had no choice but to live,” she said angrily, swiping the tears from her face. “Never mind, it's stupid. Her voice cracked, her breath caught in her throat and tears streamed down her face.

Jared hesitated, then took a small step forward, not sure what to say or do before quickly making a decision and closing the gap between them.

“That's not stupid,” he said emphatically, reaching out and cupping her face in his hands. “Shhh, you're okay.”

“I don't know why I told you,” Kelly said, wiping more tears from her face. “My mom doesn't even know.”

“Thank you for telling me.” Jared held Kelly by one shoulder and pushed her out to arms' length to look her in the face. “It's clear you loved him deeply.”

“I did, but I didn't think I would ever love again...,” Her voice trailed off and she broke eye contact, looking down at her feet.

Jared leaned in abruptly and kissed her.

Their lips came together in a rush of need and for once, they opened up to one another completely. Only the touch of their lips, the melding of flesh was important.

Jared's hand moved to the back of her neck and the kiss became more urgent, more primal. She met him eagerly, his need becoming hers.

He pulled her down to the rock with him, the surface warm from the morning sun.

“Oh, Kel,” Jared breathed. “You feel so right. This feels so right.”

Kelly quieted his lips with a kiss.

Jared moved his hand down her neck and toward her collarbone. Kelly lightly took his hand in hers, stopping it where it was, and said, “Let's not go there.”

Jared was breathing heavily. “We're not children.”

“No, we are not,” said Kelly, “so let's not act like ones. We are expected home and we're just off the road. Anyone can see.”

“Damn it, Kel,” Jared said in a low tone.

Kelly understood his impatience all too well. “Okay, okay, there's more, I'm afraid,” she said between kisses. “If we go too far too fast, there will be consequences—privacy issues, family-planning issues.”

“Okay, I understand, but shut up,” growled Jared. “Just kiss me.”

Neither moved to end their amorous encounter. Jared traced every feature of Kelly's face, even the tracks of her tears, with his lips, erasing their evidence.

“Did you hear that?” Kelly asked, breathless.

“What?”

“I don't know, but—”

Jared put his finger to his lips signaling Kelly to be quiet. “I think it's voices,” he whispered.

“Yes, there it is again.”

They both lay still, straining to hear what the voices were saying, but couldn't quite make it out. It was definitely a man and a woman speaking though. It was coming from upstream. It might have been possible to make out their words if it weren't for the wind. Voices and wind mingled, echoing down the canyon.

Jared pointed off the rock and Kelly rolled to the edge, then scrambled down. He scooted over slowly, without the aid of his injured arm, and Kelly assisted him down as quietly as she could. Both crouched behind the rock.

“You stay here and I'll go up and see who it is,” Jared whispered.

“I think I should go,” Kelly said. “I know you're the officer, but your injury...” She didn't finish her sentence or wait for his objection. Unsnapping the thumb break on her holster, she rose quietly. Looking down at Jared, she could see the concern on his face. “I'll be right back,” she whispered, more confidently than she felt.

Kelly crouched low as she made her way upstream. It was a skill she had learned well in pre-deployment training. The nurses were made to simulate what she was doing right now. How ironic, Kelly thought, that she would complete her military duty without having to crawl in the dirt, only to find herself doing it in civilian life.

She picked her way around smooth, dry wood, heaped up against tree trunks and debris piles because of its tumultuous journey downstream in a series of floods. It was slow going, but after a few minutes, she was close enough to hear what the couple was saying. They were talking about making their way to the Mogollon Rim, where they could find water, and wondered out loud if it would be too cold to survive there this winter. They were afraid if they stayed here they would not be able to get enough water and food to sustain themselves.
How sad
, Kelly thought. So many must be in the same predicament.

Kelly did not want to be seen. She momentarily entertained the idea of inviting them home, but knew the stress that two more mouths would bring to her small community. With a deep sigh, she stole back downriver toward Jared and home.

It was getting much later than Kelly had intended. The family had planned on meeting the folks in town for a religious gathering at ten.

Jared was still crouched behind the huge rock when Kelly returned. “How did it go?” he asked. “Do you know them?”

“No,” Kelly said. “They're travelers trying to make their way north. They didn't see me and I'm glad for that. We should be getting back. We have more than a half hour's walk. It's getting late.”

“Seems like we were together for mere seconds,” Jared said, smiling.

She gave him a quick peck that immediately turned into something more.

****

By the time they had returned to the house, the rest of their group was finishing breakfast.

Emma looked at the pair with a slight furrowing of her brow. Kelly and Jared looked at each other, puzzled. How had Emma figured them out? Did their appearance give them away? Kelly reached up as if to wipe away some stray lipstick she wasn't wearing. Emma glanced away and started speaking like nothing had happened.
Mothers!

“Hurry up and eat something,” Emma said. “I saved you some scrambled eggs and cream of wheat.”

Kelly took a very small portion, leaving the bulk of the food for Jared.

“We saw a man and a woman down by the creek. They seem to be camped out down there,” said Jared.

Kelly and Jared took turns relating the story, sans kissing. Emma and Rich seemed very concerned.

“We'll have to keep an eye on that, I tell you,” Rich said as they finished their story. “I don't like it. It's too close to home.”

“They aren't that close. It's a half-hour walk to their camp,” said Kelly.

“Even that's too close for my taste,” said Rich. Emma nodded in agreement.

Chapter 10

“All hands on deck?” Emma asked before nudging Traveler to pull the cart out onto the driveway. Dennis and Lynn rode alongside on Buckskin and Hokey.

Dennis grinned, surprised to see Rich joining them. “Rich, I didn't think a heathen like you would be going to Torah study.”

“I'm not a churchgoer,” Rich admitted. “I'm for Bible study and anyway, this isn't
jus
t Bible study, it's a way for the community to come together.”

“Yes,” Emma agreed. “In my time in the Navy and doing medical missions, we discovered that people grew closer and got along better when they shared a religious ritual. There's real comfort in ritual.”

“You're starting to sound like my graduate seminary students,” Dennis said.

“Jess here surprised me when he told me he wanted to go to the meeting,” Jose said. “I grew up in a very Catholic family, but my wife and I haven't gone to Mass much.”

“It was nice to see you, Dennis and Lynn, welcoming the Sabbath last evening,” Emma said. “Lynn, you were so pretty when you lit the candles, covered your eyes and recited that prayer. I felt the bond between you and your dad when he laid his hands on your head and blessed you.”

Lynn offered a shy smile before glancing at her father.

“Jess, why don't you drive Traveler now?” Emma said suddenly. “All of you
dudes
need to get some practice driving the cart and some more saddle time, too.” She waited for Jess to awkwardly make his way to the front of the moving cart. He sat beside her, then she handed him the reins.

“Thanks, I've been wanting to learn to drive,” Jess said, rolling his eyes as he took the reins. “I had imagined something with a little more
horsepower
though.”

Everyone laughed.

“Lynn, you can drive the next time we take the cart out,” Emma announced, “since you can't drive a cart on the Sabbath.”

“That sounds fun. I hear girls are better drivers than boys,” she said, glancing sideways at Jess.

He ignored her.

“Great, and tomorrow you can both learn to muck out the stalls,” Emma said , ignoring their looks of disdain. “It's time to find out how your cart gets its giddy-up.”

Kelly smiled at the camaraderie, then reached out and took Jared's hand. She said, “Mom, you and I will need help when it comes time to move the cattle off the range. Jess and Lynn will make good cow hands, but they will both need some roping practice.”

“A little shooting practice is in order too,” Rich said. “We're lucky we got out of Fountain Hills without getting shot. Well, most of us.” He glanced over his shoulder at Jared with a playful grin. “I don't think we should press our luck.”