Pointe of No Return: Giving You All I Got (14 page)

Papa looked at her, not believing she had the audacity to ask him that question. “You think I would drive all the way out here if I didn’t give a fuck about you?” he snapped, right back on her ass.

“I just got kicked out of school because of you so again I’m asking, how much do you really care about me, because I’m starting to think that everything my mama said about you was true,” she told him.

Papa was floored with her words and to say his feelings weren’t hurt right now would be lying. “Damn, that’s fucked up,” was all he could muster up.

“Tell me about it,” she said and walked off, locking her car with her key chain.

“Demi.” Papa still wasn’t prepared to just let her go. He would do whatever he needed to make it right.

“Papa, I can’t do this right now. I feel like I’m at the point of no return,” she said, with tears in her eyes.

9

Demi couldn’t believe the news her father called her with at three in the morning. Before she could peel herself from the bed to run to her mother’s rescue, she laid there, eyes filled with tears, and heart full of regret. The last thing her mother said to her was on constant replay.

“YOU ARE A FUCK UP IN MY EYES, I HATE I EVEN HAD YOU.” and the line clicked.

YOU ARE A FUCK UP IN MY EYES, I HATE I EVEN HAD YOU.

YOU ARE A FUCK UP IN MY EYES, I HATE I EVEN HAD YOU.

YOU ARE A FUCK UP IN MY EYES, I HATE I EVEN HAD YOU.

Demi had to shake her head in a rapid motion just for the words to go away as she got dressed. When her daddy called and said he found her mom crouched over the couch when he made it home, he thought she was dead, but luckily he found a pulse.

Ever since Demi moved out, well technically her mama kicked her out, Dorane had brainwashed herself to think that Demi abandoned her family and her pill usage had increased. Instead of twice a day or maybe once a day, she had turned into a dope fiend and even started snorting a few lines to get through the day.

Dorane was going through some shit and instead of taking full responsibility for her bad habits, she cried and cursed Demi’s name all day. She sat in the dark mostly, her thin frame barely looking like the prima ballerina she once was. Dorane hated her daughter and she used drugs to cope with the pain.

Demi was unsure of how she would make it to the hospital all the way in Jersey from New York. She was in no mind state to drive. She just prayed her mama pulled through. Her father didn’t sound too confident when he called her with the news. In fact, he sounded tired and fed up. That’s when Demi knew this wasn’t the first time her mother had been through this.

Demi knew her mom liked muscle relaxers with her wine before bed, but she thought it was because of the pain she still experienced from dancing over the years. Apparently, it was way more than that.

Demi called Nichelle, her best friend, but she didn’t answer the phone. Demi couldn’t even get mad. Who would answer the phone at almost four in the morning? Papa would have. For Demi, Papa would do anything and Demi knew that.

She knew she was considered a grown woman, but she couldn’t help but blame him for her misfortunes.

Even with her basically telling him to fuck off, Papa still called her every single and day and sent her the nicest text messages. There were nights when he would send her pictures of her favorite foods and sad faces, saying how much he missed her and wished she were there with him. Demi couldn’t be a hustler’s girlfriend, she wasn’t cut out for his lifestyle. She didn’t have the strength to watch him kill people and not feel any remorse for it.

Papa never even apologized for his behavior. All she really wanted was an explanation for his crazy ways. But what Demi realized was that was how he rolled, that was Papa. The sweet and caring man she enjoyed spending time with was not Papa. Well he was, but that’s not the man he was in the streets.

Demi wanted a good guy, someone her parents would be proud of; someone she could take to recitals and meetings and such. That man was not Papa.

Until she got over him and hopped back into the dating pool, Papa was all she had. When she dialed his number and he answered and asked, “What’s wrong?” on the third ring, the thoughts about moving on went completely out of the window.

“My mom overdosed,” Demi mumbled.

Since her dance career was on pause for the time being, Demi had turned into a bitter young woman. She was too young to feel this way, but she didn’t care, dance was her life and now she had nothing.

Two weeks ago, Demi spent her nineteenth birthday in the bed with cheesecake and her favorite classical movies. She didn’t answer the phone for anyone nor did she respond to any messages or posts on social media. It wasn’t until she had a knock at the door for a delivery of roses and a Chanel purse did she crack a smile for the first day.

Papa had asked her what her birthday plans were and she told him nothing. He knew he would be the last person she wanted to see, but that didn’t stop him from doing something special on her day.

Demi texted him a dry,
thank you
, but on the inside it felt good to be thought of. Especially since her mother didn’t call at all and her father claimed he had been so busy when he called the next morning apologizing.

“Damn, that’s fucked up,” Papa said, after Demi gave him the news.

“I know I’ve been ignoring you, but it’s late and you know I can’t drive at night and it’s raining...,” Demi started explaining herself.

Papa told her, “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Okay. Thank you, Papa,” Demi told him, and hung the phone up.

She sat on the couch after making herself some tea and watched the rain tap against her windows. Demi loved the building her father put her in, it was on the top floor and her view was breathtaking, but she hated the rain.

It made her anxious, sad, nervous, and even more fucking miserable and depressed than she already was. Demi should have known something bad was brewing; it had been raining for days straight. Rainy days for Demi were bad days, her mind traveled back to that horrible morning.

Demi was fifteen years old and should have been driving to school like the majority of the kids in her tenth grade class, but nope, not Demi. She was too scared to do so. The morning of her second final of the fall semester before school closed for the Christmas holiday, Demi asked her mom could she ride to school with her friends.

Dorane told her, “Hell no” and to get on the charter bus that the private school she attended sent out to her neighborhood for an extra thousand dollars a year.

“Okay, mama,” Demi told her mama, but she knew that today she wouldn’t be on the stinky bus.

Demi was the only person out of all of her friends who still had to ride the school bus. She never understood why her mom couldn’t take her to school. Dorane woke up every morning at six to wake Demi up and start her coffee, but she still insisted on Demi riding the bus.

Demi kissed the housekeeper goodbye after grabbing her lunch box and left the house. She walked down the street to the stop sign where Nichelle, Courtney, and their other best friend, Laila, were all waiting on her.

“Nichelle, do you know how to drive this car?” Demi asked, worriedly.

Nichelle was in her mother’s brand new car since she was out of town.

“Oh relax, Demi.” Nichelle brushed her off.

Demi kept quiet for the time being, not wanting to act like the little girl they all considered her to be. But when the rain fell and then she jumped at the sound of thunder she had to say something. “Nichelle, we’re not too far from away the house, let’s turn around and just get on the bus.”

Laila laughed, “Demi, you’re such a baby!”

“Girl, you acting like she never drove in the rain before,” Courtney chimed in.

Laila asked, “Chelle, you good?”

Nichelle turned the radio up, but didn’t answer Laila’s question. Demi sat back and closed her eyes, praying they made it to school safe. Minutes later, Demi’s body swung to the left and then to the right.

“Whoa, what’s going on?” Demi asked.

Nichelle panicked, “The car almost took off on its own!”

“Just pull over!” Laila spazzed.

“I have a final, no she can’t pull over!” Courtney shouted.

“You rather have an A or your---.” Demi started to ask, but before she could get the word, “life” out the car hydroplaned and hit a tree.

That was all Demi remembered until she woke up the next day and was told that her friend Laila had been killed because she was the only one not wearing a seatbelt.

Demi decided then and there to never drive in the rain.

After wiping her tears and turning her head from the rain, Papa texted her and told her he was downstairs. Demi looked like shit but she knew Papa wouldn’t mind.

She pulled the hoodie over her head as she placed one Burberry rain boot in front of the other and walked towards Papa’s car. She didn’t recognize the Porsche, but it was a nice whip.

“New car?” she asked him, when she got in and they pulled off.

“Nothing new, you just never been in this one,” he told her.

Demi started to say something smart before realizing he was doing her a favor and she wasn’t in the position to have an attitude with someone she had been ignoring for almost two months now.

“You dropped your girlfriend off before you came to get me?” Demi’s voice croaked.

“What the fuck are you talking about, Demi?” Papa snapped.

Demi picked up one of the red bottoms that were in the same place her feet were. “Hmm, I definitely don’t wear a size nine in shoes,” she told him, before clunking him upside the head with the shoe.

“YOU GET ME KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL AND NOW YOU’RE IN THE BED WITH THE NEXT GIRL? YOU’RE JUST LIKE MY MOM SAID YOU WERE. YOU HOE, LET ME OUT, I DON’T KNOW WHY I EVEN CALLED YOU!” Demi snapped.

Papa couldn’t even retaliate because not only was he high and tipsy, but she hit him so hard he was still trying to process that Demi actually hit him and was now yelling and cursing.

“Demi!” he said her name.

“Papa, please just let me out, I’ll catch a cab,” she told him in a soft tone.

He knew Demi was barely leaving the house these days, but he hoped the solace she placed herself in hadn’t made her crazy. One second ago she was going the hell off, now she was using the voice she always used with him, the one full of love and patience.

“I apologize,” he told her.

Demi looked at him, but Papa couldn’t look at her because he was trying to maneuver through the rain on top of rubbing his now aching head.

“Apologize for what? Getting me kicked out of school or cheating on me?”

“We aren’t together right now,” he countered.

“Thanks for telling me. I’ll be sure to give my neighbor my number since he keeps asking for it,” Demi said, sarcastically.

“Get that nigga murked if you want to.”

“Oh? So, are you going to murk the hoe with the scuffed red bottoms?” she asked.

Papa laughed. “You’re crazy.”

“You made me this way. Papa, who is she?” Demi asked.

“Aye, we got bigger shit going on, deal with your mama first,” he told her and turned the radio up.

Demi didn’t respond and Papa was grateful. He didn’t want to lie to her or have her looking at him any different than she already was.

The silence in the ride soothed Demi and she ended up falling asleep.  Once Papa was sure that she was good and knocked out, he texted Unc and told him to put the girl that was in his bedroom in a cab when she woke up.

After making sure that was squared away, he placed his hand on Demi’s thigh and made his way to Jersey.

“Babe, wake up.” Papa shook Demi lightly.

“Not your babe,” she yawned.

“Yeah whatever, come on,” he told her.

Papa knew Demi was still his and he planned on spending the next few days reminding her li’l ass who the fuck he was. He had given her more than enough space and now it was time for her to come on back home to Papa.

He wouldn’t lie nor would he offer the truth by telling Demi he had been fucking like crazy, but it meant nothing. None of the hoes he gave the dick to ever made it to his home. Half of them weren’t even worthy of making it to Unc’s house. Papa was doing pull-ups and drop-offs on these hoes. Right after his nut was busted he was taking them back home from the telly.

Papa was hustling harder than ever before and keeping his back against the wall. Ever since that scenario in the strip club things had been kind of distant in The Underworld, but Papa didn’t give a fuck. He turned his money in and picked his product up on time. He didn’t talk to any of his brothers as much as he used to and he knew everyone felt the tension, but no one stepped up to fix it, so he didn’t either.

“I’ll wait right here,” Papa told Demi, once they walked through the hospital doors and were told where they could find her mother. Papa took a seat next to Demi’s housekeeper.

Demi told him okay and went to greet her mother. When she opened the door, her father came over and kissed her forehead and gave her a big hug. “I have missed you so much, baby girl,” he told her.

Demi wished she could feel what he said, but she didn’t. She smiled at him and lied. “I miss you, too.” Demi hated to lie.

Her mother came out of the bathroom door, looking horrible. Demi gasped.  She’d never seen her mother so thin. Dark circles formed under her eyes and her shoulders were sunk in along with her cheeks.

“What are you doing here?” Dorane asked.

“I came to be with you mama.”

“And why do you think I’m in here, Demi?” She used the same innocent tone her daughter used, the only difference was that Demi’s was genuine and very sincere.

“You need help,” Demi told her.

“No, I needed you to do what you said you would do and that was make mama proud, but you failed me. You are the reason I’m in here, so if I die next time blame yourself,” Dorane said, and got back in the hospital bed.