Pleasure Cruise (2 page)

Deciding to make Kira smile, Clare changed the subject. The line moved, inching slowly forward. The people around them were busy pointing at the boat and paid no attention to their conversation. “Just think, if you do manage to fall while playing shuffleboard, you may end up with a hot doctor on board to care for you.”

“Oh my… I can’t believe you just said that. There may be hope for you yet, Clare. I’m proud of you.”

Thoughts of the endless times she and Kira had made fools of themselves around hot guys popped into Clare’s mind. Chuckling as the plastic hallway finally opened up to the fresh sea air, she took in the sights and sounds of the ship. It was breathtaking, much bigger than she had expected the boat to be, but Clare would wait to admit that to Kira. She waited to see what her friend would do next to try to cheer her. The woman had an endless supply of one-liners and the dirtiest mind in the world, but that was part of what made Kira unique. If Kira’s personality had been the same as Clare’s, they never would have become friends. Thankfully, it wasn’t, and neither one of them could deny how beautifully they gelled. Kira was the yin to Clare’s yang.

“Okay, getting a little touchy-feely,” Kira said, making a face. “Before we grab each other and hug for the entire week, can we at least find our stateroom? I love ya to death, babes, but this bag is heavy.”

Clare snickered, knowing that as open as Kira was, she didn’t like to get weepy. “It’s a deal. Besides, some of that body glitter you always wear might get on me. My luck, I’d spend the entire week with hives.”

“I’m willing to risk it. Heck, I’d even sit with you and hand you anti-itch cream as needed. Not as sexy as suntan lotion by the pool, but what are friends for?”

Picturing the scene in her head, Clare rolled her eyes. “Thanks for not saying you’d rub it on for me.”

“Ha, I almost said that. Damn, you know me well.” Kira sighed and rolled her shoulders. “Are we there yet, Mom? Seriously though, the boat of love joke sort of fits. It’s a floating paradise. That’s what the brochure claims anyways.”

It was early evening and a purple haze spread beautifully over the rolling waters of the ocean. A cool breeze whipped Clare’s gray T-shirt against her slender frame, and a strange feeling unfurled in her gut. Her knees weakened in apprehension, and her feet refused to move from their spot. Slowly, she began to back away from the large ship.

Great, I’ve reached whole new levels of neuroses.

Clare laughed softly and did her best to stay on top of their conversation.

“At least we look good in swimsuits. Unlike...” Kira pointed toward a short man with a gut that hung a good six inches over the top of his tight swimsuit. He glanced in their direction and cast them a smarmy smile. Kira leaned in and whispered, “I’ll bet he wears a
budgie smuggler
.”

“Budgie…? No, I don’t want to know. Kira, tell me again why I let you talk me into this?” Clare gave her a pointed look.

Grinning, Kira innocently tipped her head. Clare wasn’t buying it. “Because you never have any fun, you’re too serious and you’re too polite to say no to a birthday present from your very best friend. Who was very willing to kidnap you if need be to get you on board.”

Clare’s lip twitched as she fought back a laugh. That answer was so very like Kira. Everything she did in her life screamed carefree and confident. She oozed sex appeal from her long, straight black hair to her dark red lips. Her green eyes flashed with constant mischief. Regardless of what she was doing, she always looked like she was up to something sinful. From Clare’s experience, she usually was. Life without her, while quieter, would also be boring.

“Sometimes I really want to bop you over the head with a wet noodle,” Clare mumbled.

“Who says that? Bop me with a wet noodle? What are you? Pushing ninety? Man, Clare, we really need to get you out more. Oh, but if you’re willing to make the wet noodle a dildo, I’ll think about letting you.”

That did it. A steady stream of giggles escaped them both. They’d been friends for a long time and neither one of them took the comment seriously. Clare looked over the ship and shook her head. She’d really hoped that being friends with someone as carefree as Kira would’ve rubbed off on her. So far, unfortunately, none of Kira’s confidence and exuberant behavior had come her way. Next to her friend, Clare knew she looked like the ultimate prude. Just thinking of it caused a wave of sadness to overtake her. Perhaps she was.

Perhaps? I’ve spent the last three weekends alphabetizing my collection of dictionaries from around the world just because it annoyed me that they weren’t in order.

“You’re going to have to select another weapon for me to use. I’d freak out about hitting you with a dildo,” Clare whispered, not a fan of even saying the word out loud.

“A flogger?”

“No.”

“A horse whip?”

“NO!”

“A…”

Fearing Kira’s next choice, Clare quickly interjected, “No.”

The ship’s security officer, who was waiting for them to hand him their tickets, tried to hide his smile. Clare showed him the paper with her boarding pass and stateroom information and then paused for a security photo.

“You love me and you know it!” Kira returned, ever cheerful. Adjusting her ample breasts beneath her corset top to leave her cleavage positioned to its full advantage, Kira grinned and posed suggestively for her security picture. She winked at the security officer, who looked somewhat embarrassed by the attention.

“I love you like I love a hole in the—” Clare began.

“—your—?” Kira tried to interject.

“Don’t even say it, Kira, or so help me I’ll leave.” Clare turned a warning look to her side, but couldn’t help smirking in amusement.

Kira just laughed, unconcerned. She shuffled her feet in excitement as they finally made it onto the boat. Photographers for the cruise line had the passengers bottlenecked, blocking their ability to board quickly. They didn’t seem to be taking no for an answer on snapping people’s pictures.

“More pictures?” Clare asked. “Didn’t we just do this five seconds ago?”

“Don’t even bother threatening to leave,” Kira said. “You know you aren’t going anywhere. Besides, if you tried to leave, I’d have to hogtie you, one of the twenty photographers would be sure to get the shot, and I would use it for my Christmas cards next year. And trust me when I say I’m an expert when it comes to tying people up. You would die of embarrassment when I pushed you buck naked and tied up around the ship in a lounge chair. You know they have an entire nude section on deck eight aft, right?”

“Hmm, death from embarrassment or death by ballroom dance lessons and shuffleboard?” Clare chuckled. “Shuffleboard sounds more humane. I’ll take that, please. You were joking about the nude section, weren’t you?”

“This is going to be so much fun!” Kira exclaimed, ignoring her friend’s inquiry. “Aren’t you excited at all? I can hardly wait. I just know there’s a cabana boy with my name tattooed right on his delicious, tanned, firm-yet-supple ass. Yummy! And, if not, he’ll have it by the end of the trip. I can already feel my engines revving up, ready to go. Can you smell it, Clare? The fresh, salty sea air, the fun waiting to be had, the giant margaritas, the sex, the—”

“—ass-tattooed cabana boys?” Clare rolled her eyes in response. She didn’t doubt for a moment that Kira could smell sex. She seemed to have a sixth sense for it. It was just like Kira to view every moment as an erotic one and to screen every male, or female for that matter, as a potential partner. Though, to be fair, there was more to Kira than just her sexuality. The woman was intelligent, had a passion for art museums and had read nearly every classical author published before the nineteenth century. Thankfully, Kira didn’t spout quotes and act all pretentious. She even managed to squeeze in being a ball-breaking female executive. That in itself was impressive.

“Kira, do we belong here?”

“What do you mean?”

“We’re career women. We aren’t eighteen and on spring break, and we’re not ninety-nine in need of an oxygen tank.”

Kira arched a dark eyebrow. “Thank God! I’m damn happy we aren’t eighteen anymore. And so what if we’re career women? Do you see a boardroom around here? No. What you see is the opportunity to loosen up and have fun!”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I heard a lady talking about there being a pizza buffet open until midnight on deck eleven.”

“You guess I’m right? Honey, who in the hell told you that just because you have a brain, a good job and extra cash that you aren’t permitted to let your hair down, take your suit off and be free? I’m not about to spend my week playing executive. Well, not unless it’s some sort of kinky foreplay—though he better be cute, ‘cause been there, done that. We work our backsides off, Clare. We earned this. Anyone who tells you otherwise is jealous that they’re too trapped in the cycle to break free even if for just a bit. I pity them. Really, I do. Life is too short to worry about keeping up your professional appearance. Even you, Ms. Stuffy Pants, have to agree.”

“Tell me again why you’re my best friend?” Clare asked, managing to keep a straight face. She was taller by an inch and moved to drape a hand on Kira’s shoulder. She turned back to look at the cruise ship.

“Because I know the pizza buffet is really on deck ten.” Kira laughed and tapped Clare playfully on the arm. “Because without me, you would just be another boring prude with a very boring, ordinary life. Not to mention you’d be one of those women I was just bitching about. The kind who live only to work. I live to
live
and with me around, you do too. So, as I see it, you’re a boring prude with a very interesting best friend. Wait, I prefer eccentric. It has a nice ring to it.”

Kira grinned. What she hadn’t told Clare was that this was a singles sex cruise and they were on their way to meet men—lots of hot, sexy, single, preferably very horny men. Let Clare think they were here for pizza buffets and shuffleboard tournaments. It’d been a long time since Clare hooked up with anyone, and it was Kira’s self-made mission to make sure her friend had a good time. She really hoped that nature would run its course and do the matchmaking for her.

“Believe me,” continued Kira, “I’m good for your image. I’m good for everyone’s image. You need me. You’re destined for a convent without me.”

Clare chuckled. Kira sighed and grabbed her friend’s hand before she could change her mind about the trip and proceeded to pull her along the deck of the cruise ship, following the signs and the flow of the crowd.

“Great, I can feel the hula lessons already,” Clare drawled sarcastically. “Some guy in a gold sequin outfit is going to come out here and demand we get jiggy with him, isn’t he?”

“Oh, I hope so,” Kira put forth. “Maybe they’ll be nice enough to provide a sequin thong for me.”

“Did I tell you that I had a nightmare about cruise ship entertainers last night? It was horrible. They made me wear a headdress piled high with fruit.” Clare gave a pointed look. “Just direct me to the nearest bar.”

“Trust me, Clare.” Kira turned to walk backward up to the deck. She bumped into the rail and giggled. “This vacation is just what you need. It’s what we both need. You’re going to have the time of your life. I just know it!”

They reached a sign that read “Stop. Wait here.”

Clare laughed. “Yeah, now if we can only finish getting onto the darn boat.”

“This way,” a lanky porter said as he took their bags. He didn’t even have to stoop down. His arms were long enough to just reach their luggage from his standing position.

Kira shot her friend a wide-eyed look and tried not to laugh as Clare gave in to the giggles. Kira smiled, though she kept a careful eye on the porter. He looked as if he could be supernatural and she did not trust the supernaturals. But she wasn’t about to let something like a ghoulish porter stop her from having a great time. It felt good to be free and to be sharing the experience with her best friend.