Playing with Monsters (13 page)

I remembered my grandfather had told me things like that; that the mind can suppress events. If it can’t accept it, it fails to acknowledge it. He’d also told me that sometimes sacrifices had to be made for the greater good and that before I became judge and jury, I needed to stop and see if my mind could process it, or if it rejected it. If it didn’t accept it, I couldn’t judge.

You couldn’t judge something you didn’t understand.

I looked at my mother and realized something she didn’t say, probably something she never verbalized. She didn’t only bury one son when we’d buried Joshua, she’d buried them both. Her mutterings in her sleep replayed through my mind, and I felt tears well in my eyes. She’d buried them both, because Joshua had kept Benjamin clean and pure for her. Fate wasn’t cruel; sometimes she was a nasty bitch.

I looked around the room, finding Kendra watching me; her anger had already diminished, and her mind was working overtime. She wanted to see if our other brother was as bad as they said, and ask him if he was behind the missing girls.

“Kat, Dexter, make sure she doesn’t leave unless she’s with my mother or my grandmother,” I said, ignoring the others who were intently listening to the elders as they tried to formulate a plan.

I moved past Lucian, pushed open the outer door and walked into the main club. There were holes in the walls, which were letting in the last few rays of daylight.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Lucian’s voice stopped me.

I turned around and looked at his dress shirt which was covered in patches of his blood.

“I’m going to go out and see if I just lost another brother in that explosion, and if he’s outside and by some miracle still alive, I’m going to ask him what he wants.”

“Okay, lead the way,” he said.

“I don’t need you to come with me.”

“If he’s not here to make friends, he’s here to do harm. He set off a fucking bomb and trashed my club. I’d like to know why.”

“Fine, but you can wait until I’m done. I need to ask him a few things, and if he can vanish as he did inside the club, I don’t want him getting spooked.”

“Fine,” he agreed with his eyes devouring me.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” he asked smoothly, his eyes sliding down my ruined dress, which was ripped from the explosion, and covered in both of our blood.

“Like you want to eat me,” I grumbled and the look I gave him should have made it clear that it wasn’t a good idea to tease me right now.

“I don’t want to eat you; I want to taste you before I devour you.”

“What’s your deal?” I asked as I swung back around to face him.

“No deals; I’m not that guy,” he purred as his hand moved slowly and he touched my cheek softly. “Let me guess, you want a prince, someone to sweep you off your feet.”

“I don’t need to be saved by some prince,” I argued. “I had the sweet guy, the one I thought I wanted, but he was just a frog in disguise. I don’t need saving, I got my shit handled. Don’t stereotype me. I’m not the damsel in distress. I’m the one who thinks the damsel needs to figure it out. She needs to save herself, stop waiting for some asshole wearing glitter to do it for her.”

He smiled, but it was all teeth. “You can’t even see that you need to be saved. Today, when the bomb went off, you froze. You’re weak; you pretend you have it all together because one fucking ounce of emotion and everything you’ve been holding in will come undone. I see you, Lena. The real you, not the tough exterior you show to everyone else. You’ve pushed the real you so far inside of you that you don’t feel anything. You feel too much, care too much. Let it go; for once in your life stop trying to hold it all in, and let it fucking go.”

“You’re wrong.” I turned and headed to the door. “I know my weaknesses.” He was quickly becoming one. His touch? Set me ablaze with emotions I couldn’t even begin to understand. One night in bed with him? I’d be ruined. I knew it, and so did he.

Not going to happen. He could remain a free agent and flirt with the others. I wasn’t interested in spending one night with him; I wouldn’t survive it. There were men you could sleep with and walk away from, like the tattoo artist. No attachment. No sweet goodbyes in the morning. Lucian? He would ruin, wreck, and destroy a girl’s sensibility. He’d pound out walls, and destroy her foundation. He was a walking, talking, sexy as fuck wrecking ball.

I pushed the door open and froze at the destruction. I wasn’t sure if the coven had been able to get in through the front or if they’d come in another way. There were two other roads that lead to the club, and as I scanned the ruined cars in the parking lot, my heart dropped until I spotted baby, parked right in the middle of all the ruined cars.
Untouched.

Impossible. The air in front of the car shifted and I gasped as Benjamin materialized, and I felt the subtle touch of magic that displaced the air as he used it. Other than a few cuts, he didn’t look hurt. He watched me closely, as if he was suspicious of me. I didn’t blame him; I would have been suspicious of me too. He lifted a lit cigarette to his lips, inhaled deeply, and exhaled smoke slowly, his eyes never leaving mine as I watched him.

I stepped away from the club, but Lucian grabbed my arm and pulled me back. His eyes locked onto Benjamin. “If he can apparate at will, you shouldn’t go out there. That is not a typical warlock trait.”

“I need to do this so that Kendra doesn’t. He has answers, and I want them. I also need to know if he is behind the missing girls. The coven will try to kill him if they think it’s him. I need to be sure before I lose another brother.”

I pulled my arm away from Lucian and moved slowly to the car; lightning erupted from the sky; and would have hit me, if Benjamin hadn’t been faster. He disappeared, and we reappeared at the car.

“Testing me,
sister
?” he sneered. He dropped his cigarette on the ground and I looked down, as I struggled to gain control of my body.

“What did you just do?” I whispered as I placed a hand on the car for balance.

“Saved your ass,” he mumbled as he looked me over slowly. “You’re as pretty as he said you were. You got a pair of steel balls, too. He left that out.”

“Who?” I asked cautiously.

“Josh,” he grunted, not bothering to elaborate anything other than Joshua’s name.

“Why are you here?” I asked.

“I have my reasons,” he evaded, his blue eyes probing mine.

“You know who I am, Benjamin.”

“That’s not my name. I’m subject B. Bred to kill.” His voice dripped with sarcasm.

“You came here for answers, to see why she kept one but not the other?” I guessed.

“I don’t give a shit what she did.”

“And you found two sisters, and you want to know why us? Why did she keep both of us but not you?”

“I said I don’t give a shit.”

“I do, I want to know why.”

“You don’t care about me; you want him back. I see it in your eyes,” he snarled as he towered over me, trying to scare me.

I reached up to cup his cheek, and he flinched away from it. I held my hand perfectly still, and waited for him to see that I didn’t plan to harm him. The moment he relaxed, I placed my palm on his cheek. His skin wasn’t as soft as Joshua’s, and was cold as well. I brought my other hand up and repeated the motion on the other side, my eyes locked with his as I touched him.

“You’re not wrong. I do want Joshua back. You, you’re a surprise to me. Before today, I didn’t know you existed,” I whispered brokenly as tears choked my words. “I miss him; he was my anchor. You met him; what did you think?” I asked, and flinched as he moved his face close to mine.

I was prepared to pull away, but he placed a chaste kiss on my eyebrow, my temple, and then my forehead and I went wide-eyed. That was something only Joshua had ever done. He smiled and winked at me as he pulled back.

“He’s not really gone.”

“What?” I whispered shakily.

He turned and looked at the crowd coming out of the building. I wanted them to disappear. I wanted him to answer me. His eyes scanned the crowd until I knew he’d found Kendra and my mother and just like that, he turned cold and his features twisted into a mask of anger.

“That’s her, isn’t it?” his tone was frigid, but I could see that it was his defense against the pain he felt.

“She didn’t have a choice,” I defended my mother.

“Everyone has a choice, Lenny. Every choice has consequences,” he replied as he turned his eyes back to mine. They were cold, lifeless, and void of emotion. “He wasn’t supposed to die. It was supposed to be me. He was weak, filled with hope that I could be saved. Don’t follow his path; some people can’t be saved.”

“The girls, the ones that are missing?” I whispered, unsure I wanted his answer.

“I didn’t come here for myself,” he said. “I don’t want to be here. I didn’t take any girls; look closer to your own fucked up world. Darkness is coming for you, or I wouldn’t be here. They can’t save you from what’s coming; only you can. Stop trusting what you see and hear, and start looking deeper. Prepare yourself for what’s coming, because no one is safe from it.”

He disappeared again, but this time, I’d felt his lips touch my forehead and his voice ghosted through my mind.

“You should have stayed hidden, sweet sister, for monsters are everywhere.”

“Benjamin?” I whispered.

He was gone, and his last words replayed through my head. Monsters? What the hell was going on? How had he vanished, and how had I heard him? Telepathy? Was that another of his abilities?

Chapter Fourteen

I lay on the sofa, glad to escape the coven for a little while and just be alone in the silence of the cottage. Candles bathed the small room, casting shadows on the walls. I’d grudgingly listened as the coven and the elders carried on and on about how dangerous the ‘stranger’ was. I’d listened numbly as Kendra sobbed, big gut-wrenching sobs. I’d been looked at and judged by those who thought me heartless for holding it together.

That’s what I was doing; I was holding my shit together, just barely. I slowly stood up and began to move into the other room, numb, partly in shock, partly in denial. It would have been so much easier if he’d been Fae or one of the other speculated creatures. Nope, it was a secret brother. Secrets always had a way of coming back to bite you.

My mother fell apart after we left Club Chaos and we’d brought her back to the more familiar surroundings of the main house. It had gutted me to see her in such a state. I’d held her rocking form until she’d quieted down, and I’d somehow managed not to fall apart with her.

Seeing Benjamin leaning against Josh’s car had been hard, mostly because I’d wanted to run to him, throw my arms around him and welcome him home. Only one problem. I’d wanted to welcome Josh, not Ben.

I pulled off my sweater and dropped it on the couch, jumping as a knock sounded at the front door. My heart leapt in my throat as I considered who could be on the other side of it. It was probably Mom, needing someone to comfort her. I was mentally drained and had nothing left to give. I could feel the cracks getting larger and spreading like spider veins inside of me. I moved slowly, unlocked the door and pulled it open. My eyes focused on a massive chest, before slowly moving up.

Midnight eyes met and locked with mine.

“I wanted to make sure you were all right.” His hand moved before I could stop him. He touched my cheek gently until I pulled away from the warmth his fingers offered.

“I’m fine.” My voice was soft and I didn’t trust it not to break and give him the truth of my fragile state of emotion.

“It’s my understanding that when a woman says that she’s fine, she’s usually actually feeling the opposite of fine.”

He moved inside without invitation as I watched him. “I was actually just going to bed,” I lied.

“Liar; you should work on that,” Lucian smirked as he sat in the chair, and I returned to the couch.

“Work on what, lying?” I asked.

“If you insist on doing it, yes,” he countered with a soft smile as he leaned forward with his elbows resting casually on his knees as he studied me.

I snorted, which wasn’t very ladylike, but after my day, I didn’t care. “Really, I’m fine.”

“Because that particular phrase bothers me,” he replied. “It’s a smokescreen, a fucking placebo that allows you to hide what you really feel from yourself and those around you. You seem to use that word ‘fine’ a lot; everything is not fine. That pain you hide, it shows in your eyes when you think no one else is looking,” he replied easily, his eyes probing mine for a reaction. “Just like your first time, it wasn’t fine. It was a letdown. You couldn’t have enjoyed emotionless sex in the back of a car. You need to eradicate that word from your vocabulary.”

“What’s your deal? Why do you even care? And what’s wrong with deeming something fine? People do it all the time.”

“You need someone who isn’t afraid to be rough with you. You need someone who can erase the connection between the word fine and sex from your mind, and stop the word from ever crossing your mind when you think of sex. Words like ‘fucking destroyed,’ ‘cock-rocking,’ and ‘never the fucking same again,’ should be there instead.”

“Because fucking you wouldn’t be fine? Here’s the thing: who are you to teach me? Maybe I like things just the way they are,” I argued.

He smiled and it sent a shiver rushing down my spine.
Change the subject!

“How did you get to me so quickly tonight? You weren’t even close to me when the bomb went off.”

“I was right beside you,” he said smoothly, his eyes locked with mine, almost daring me to contradict him.

Did he think I was stupid, or simpleminded? “Bullshit; maybe
you
should practice lying. I’m not the only one who sucks at it.”

“I was beside you, Magdalena.”

“No. You were not beside me. When you’re close to me, my body reacts, and it didn’t react.”

“It reacts?” he asked with a half-cocked smile. “Tell me, Lena, how does it react to me?”

“Violently. As in, I get violent with the need to put you in your place.” Perhaps violent with lust, but he didn’t need to know that.

“And why is that?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I do know that you weren’t close to me, but you somehow saved me. So thanks for that. What I really want to know is why you, someone who owns luxury clubs up and down the West Coast; is so interested in this town. You bought something that belongs to my family, why?”

“I’m a businessman,” he said casually as he sat back in the chair.

“So you bought it because taking someone’s shop that has been in their family for generations is just good business?” I watched his face close off all emotion. Good, I’d hit a nerve.

“Your mother approached me and made me an offer.” His voice was quiet, forcing me to strain to hear him. “I didn’t ask for it, but I’m also not going to just hand it back to you. I didn’t get to where I am by buying investments just to give them back without making some sort of profit.”

I understood his logic, even though it wasn’t what I wanted to hear; it was the truth, and he was, if anything, a businessman.  I stood up, fully intending to kick him out, but his presence gave me comfort, which it shouldn’t.

“I’m going to make some tea, care for some?” I asked.

“Anything stronger?” he asked, and I understood. It had been a long night. His club had taken damage, although not as much as one would think it should have sustained with a bomb exploding so closely to it.

“I think I still have wine, or a bit of Grandpa’s whisky,” I offered.

“Whisky for me,” he said as he got up and followed me to the kitchen. I felt an electrical pulse as he got closer to me, and lifted my eyes to his, which seemed to consume me. The man sent out vibes that seemed to reach into my system and find the nerve endings. My breathing grew shallow, and my heart beat faster.

No, he hadn’t been close to me at the club, or I would have felt this same physical reaction I was having to him now back at the club when the bomb went off. Being close to Lucian was like standing outside in a massive storm. He was the proverbial eye of the storm. The part that lulls you into a false sense of safety as the storm circles around, knowing at any given moment, the eyewall will break free and destroy you. My body quivered with silent anticipation at his nearness, and I moved away from him, as if putting distance between us would help; it didn’t.

I gave him my back as I walked into the small kitchen, and bent down to remove one of the floorboards, revealing the old cellar. He’d probably never seen anything like it, not in his Richie-Rich life. I grabbed the wine and an old bottle of scotch, and set them aside on the floor before replacing the board.

“This cottage must be older than I thought it was,” he acknowledged. “You don’t see many of the old time cellars anymore.”

“My great, great grandfather built this place before they built the main house,” I mumbled as I opened up the small fridge and reached into the tiny freezer to retrieve an ice tray. “You prefer it neat or on the rocks?” I asked.

“Neat,” he answered softly as he stood leaning against the doorway. He dominated the room; as if it wasn’t small enough, it now looked even smaller.

I reached into the cupboard, retrieved two cups, and poured the drinks before turning to hand him his. He was no longer in the doorway, he was behind me. I hadn’t even heard him move, not until he set his drink back on the tiny counter, took mine from my hand, and placed it beside his.

“We should go back to the front room,” I offered, hating that my mind was going to places it had no damn business going to. Not with this man.

“Should we,” he asked without making it a question. He touched my bare shoulder where an angry bruise had formed. I closed my eyes as the sensation of his touch sent me into overdrive. My breathing became rigid, almost as stiff as my body. His mouth lowered and he placed a soft kiss on the exposed skin, before he pulled away and looked at me with those sinful eyes.

“We should,” I whispered.

He smiled and leaned his mouth closer to mine. The heady scent of whisky was on his lips, and I wanted to taste what he’d indulged in. I moved closer, unsure if I should cross this line, or run from it. I licked my lips as he moved in, his intoxicating scent sending me over the edge of no return as I kissed him.

His kiss was hard, demanding. His hands reached for my hips, lifting me up until I was pressed against the erection his slacks concealed. I moaned as he rubbed his need against mine. The kiss grew hungrier, and my back was pressed against the wall, hard. I’m not sure how the wall didn’t cave under the pressure of our combined weight. My hands tangled in his hair, holding him to me until he reached for them with one of his and held them in a viselike grip above my head. I was helpless. Trapped and unable to do anything unless he wanted me to. His mouth devoured any coherent thoughts, and his cock was rock hard as it pushed against the thin lace of the panties I wore.

I was almost thankful for the thin barrier between us, but I felt the fabric as it ripped; the sound was loud in the small space of the kitchen. Fingers replaced his bulge, and I pushed myself against the pressure. I was on fire, and he was the match that had created the inferno I was becoming.

I moaned as he pushed one long finger inside; his own moan was swallowed by our kiss as he pulled his finger out, and shoved it inside of me with force. I felt a storm growing inside of me, out of control and unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. My body was tight, stiff with the need to experience this man. I wasn’t even sure how he was managing to pin me there while both of his hands were busy elsewhere. I didn’t care, either.

“Bloody hell, you’re wet,” he growled as he pulled his mouth away from mine. “You’re already so fucking close to exploding, aren’t you, sweet witch?”

“Lucian,” I muttered, unsure what was happening. It was visceral, this connection. I wasn’t just wet; I was soaking wet. My nipples were hard, needing to be touched by him. I wasn’t sure why he stopped, but he released my hands and pulled his fingers clear, sucking the wetness of my arousal from them as his eyes held mine captured, helpless to do anything else but watch him as he did so.

“I need to fuck you,” he whispered through a thick, guttural tone that made my body tremble.

“I…” I paused. “I can’t,” I replied after a moment of silent battle inside my own head. “I can’t until after the Awakening.”

“I don’t breed witches, ever,” he said in a tone that set off warning bells.

“I can’t do this,” I whispered, moving across the room. I wanted to, I wanted nothing more than to strip naked and let him have his way. I couldn’t, though. There was too much at stake with the Awakening coming up, and one screw-up could be enough for the ancestors to dismiss me from coming into my powers. I leaned against the fragile counter and fought the urge to turn around and offer him what he wanted.

My body trembled with pent-up need. I could hear and feel him right behind me, waiting for me to decide. I wasn’t willing to risk my powers being weaker than my peers when my curse was lifted at the Awakening; I was already running the risk of being a weakling if the elders’ theories were right. He was a welcome distraction from everything that was happening.

I turned and he was gone. I moved out of the kitchen, looking around the empty room and blinked. The door was open, and Lucian was gone. I felt angry tears well in my eyes, and wiped them away. I moved to the door and closed it before turning back to the small kitchen to down the whisky and grab the cup of wine.

I moved into the bathroom, placed the wine on the small wash tray, and leaned over to turn the water on. I undressed and climbed into the tub, letting the water wash away the stress of the day, and I finally relaxed. I wasn’t going to cry about it; it wouldn’t change anything, and I’d probably come undone if I did. He was right; one crack in the dam and everything would come out.

Tonight had been hell, and I wanted to forget it, but I couldn’t do that. I wanted to take what he offered, but if I had, I was sure it wouldn’t end there. I’d allowed my walls to be shaken, just as I had when I watched Benjamin as he moved towards the doors of Club Chaos. He looked so much like Josh, I’d wanted to be able to believe that there had been a mistake, just as much as Kendra had, but I couldn’t. I had known the truth, and we were too close to the Awakening to be taking chances. I hadn’t been willing to lose her if I’d been wrong, so I’d forced myself to face the reality that it wasn’t Joshua we were looking at. For half a moment, though, I’d let my walls slip a little, and thought maybe I was wrong.

After I’d soaked, I changed into a pink nightie and moved through the cottage, turning off the lights and blowing out candles. I patted Luna’s head as she made her entrance, sensing it was bedtime.

“Good girl,” I mumbled as I pulled off the comforter and pulled back the soft cotton sheets. I’d opened one of the windows for her before I’d left for the club, knowing she’d spend most of her time outside. She’d adapted to country life pretty well, and the best part had been she’d sensed the need to stay close to the house since the last debacle.

Cats were smart, and picked up on their owners’ fears. I settled onto the bed, and she snuggled in beside me.

“He’s impossible,” I whispered to the cat. “And I can’t seem to stop kissing him.”

She licked her paw, already bored with me, and closed her eyes.

“Jerk, I listen to you,” I grumbled.

She meowed and perked her head up as she looked around the room.

“Well, forget it now,” I continued. “The moment’s gone. You totally suck as a best friend, you know that, right?”

She looked at me like I was crazy, because maybe I was. I was talking about my love life to a cat, but hey, at least she didn’t judge me. I laid my head back on the pillow and closed my eyes.

I was dreaming of sinful things. Lucian was with me, and had me pinned to a bed, one that wasn’t mine, a much older one. An antique table with an old-fashioned porcelain tea service was laid out, complete with half eaten scones and almost-empty tea cups. The windows of the room were thick stained glass, the ornate headboard and footboard had a tall wooden post at each end, and rope had been wound around the headboard posts, which held my hands securely above my head.

“Stop,” I whispered as I watched him bring the knife up and gently held the tip against my stomach.

“Scream for me, witch. Beg me to stop,” he growled as his mouth replaced the knife and he rained soft kisses across my stomach.

“No,” I replied, and blinked. He had a knife, and I was tied to his bed; why would I beg? Why was I bound?

“You’ll beg me, sooner or later; you always do,” he whispered as his mouth fanned hot breath down my belly as he moved it to my pelvic bone and darted his tongue out, creating an array of sensations. His tongue dipped into the crevice, and I lifted my hips. He laughed, the sound vibrated against my flesh as his eyes met mine, hunger bare in the dark blue depths. He placed his mouth on the soft flesh and sucked; the noise we made together was deafening in the small room.

My hair was drenched in sweat; my skin was on fire for him. The things his mouth was doing were unbelievable, and the moment his fingers entered me, I felt as if I would shatter.

“Not yet,” he purred as he removed his mouth and his fingers. His hand smoothed over my flesh; his fingers touched the soft mound of one breast, and then the other before he moved up to clamp his hot mouth over one nipple. The feel of his cock as it found my soft flesh and glided over it was unreal.