Playing For Keeps (23 page)

Damn, this was all so murky. And painful!

The doorbell rang.
Please don’t let it be
Mike.
She’d told him she’d call him to let him know how things
went with Neil today. But she hadn’t because she was confused by
hers and Mike’s role in Kyle’s decision.

Again, the bell pealed. Rising, she
straightened the navy top she wore with tan capris and left the
den. She whipped open the front door. And there he stood.

Looking so good, so handsome in a sport shirt
of gray and white, black shorts, sandals on his feet. His hair was
a little windblown. She felt the sting of tears and didn’t know
why.

“Jacelyn.”

“Mike.” She bit her lip. “I’m sorry I didn’t
call you. I—”

He held up a hand. “Don’t I’m not here to see
you. I’m here for Kyle.”

“Really?”

“He called me about five. Asked to see me.
Alone, without Ty.”

“Where’s Ty?”

“At Millie’s. With Timmy.”

“I would have watched him.”

“Not a good idea right now.” He glanced at
the stairs. “Kyle’s here, isn’t he?”

“Yes, I looked in on him an hour ago—he’s
asleep.” She cleared her throat. “He had a rough day.”

“I reckoned things didn’t go right for y’all
when Kyle called. He sounded pretty torn up.”

Stepping back, she said, “Come on in.”
Jacelyn led him to the family room. “Can we talk a minute?”

He jammed his hands in his shorts pockets.
“Didn’t imagine you’d be wantin’ to talk to me.”

“I didn’t phone you because I wasn’t sure I
did.”

He straightened. The gray shirt made his eyes
the color of thunderclouds. “Fine, call your son.”

“No, don’t take that wrong.”

Mike’s laugh wasn’t pleasant. “There aren’t
too many different ways to take a statement like that,
darlin’.”

“I know I said some things yesterday that
offended you.”

“You got that right.”

“And I didn’t want to talk to you and say
something again that would hurt you.”

“It’s why you backed out on our date.” He
glared at her. “You’re ashamed to be seen with me, all over
again.”

“I’m not ashamed to be seen with you.” She
nodded. “Please, sit down. Now that you’re here, I can’t let you go
like this.”

Dropping into a chair, he crossed his leg
over his knee. His foot bobbed up and down but he said nothing.

“I’m confused, Mike.”

“About your feelings for me?”

“No. Yes.”

“Well, that’s clear as a bell.”

“Listen, some of what Neil said hit home with
me.”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m a bad mother for allowing Kyle to
give up his music.”

“It’s not your fault. If there’s a fault to
be had, which I’m not sure there is.” He watched her. “What else
did he say?”

“That I encouraged Kyle’s decision to go into
Sports Studies by taking him to games, letting him pursue his
interest in athletics after Neil left.”

“He only exhibited normal behavior, Jacelyn.
Kids like sports.” He raised his chin. “It’s good for them.”

“Neil said some things about you.”

A dark scowl. “What?”

“That your influence on Kyle was negative and
I shouldn’t have allowed him to spend so much time with you and
Ty.”

Mike sneered. “Where’s he
getting
all this? He doesn’t know me from Adam. Hell, he doesn’t even know
his own son.”

She swallowed hard.

“Jacey, you don’t believe that bullshit, do
you?”

“I’m not sure what I believe any more.”

“Well, I damn well know I haven’t been a bad
influence on him. Or even that I’m responsible for this
switch.”

“I think you’re responsible. To a degree at
least. Mike, he never said anything about taking Sports Studies
before you came into his life.”

“I don’t—”

“No, let me finish. It’s even more
complicated. You’re a good father. You represent sports to him.
Neil’s a crummy father and he represents music. Maybe he chose you
over Neil, sports over music.”

“That has gotta be the craziest thinkin’ I
ever heard.”

“No, it’s not.” Kyle’s voice came from the
doorway. Jacelyn looked up to see her sleep-rumpled son standing
there.

“What did you say, honey?”

“Dad was right, Mom.”

Jacelyn’s eyes widened.

“I’d rather be like Coach than him.”

Her heart in her throat, she asked, “Was Mike
the reason you changed your major?”

“No, not completely. I’ve wanted to switch
from music for a long time. Coach gave me the courage, made me feel
good enough about myself and about athletics to do it. He made it
seem okay to choose a career in sports.”

o0o

Cutting the team to its fifty-three-man
roster was the least favorite part of a coach’s job. As Mike sat in
the meeting to hammer out the first downsize, the tension was as
thick as honey right out of the comb. Every night after practice,
the staff had gotten together to determine the relative merits of
each player; the exhibition game last week had given them even more
input, as would the next one coming up Saturday in Tennessee. Even
though a cut player could be kept for the practice squad, the blow
to his athletic career was monumental.

“Okay, here’s the list.” Tim Mason was
grim-faced. “Two quarterbacks, three wide receivers, four running
backs, two tight ends, four offensive linemen, three defensive
linemen, two line backers, four defensive backs, two safeties.”

Mike stared at the wide receiver number. He
knew one for sure that was gonna go. He should cut two today. Man,
this was hard. His shoulders ached and his eyes felt gritty. All
the problems with Jacelyn on top of no sleep, and he was ready to
bend steel with his teeth.

The meeting, begun at eleven o’clock right
after the morning practice, lasted until one. Finally, they had the
first round of cuts determined. After a lunch break, they’d notify
the players and deal with the repercussions. Most of the guys would
tough it out. A few would be furious. Mike expected grief from
Johnny Turk right away. And with the mood he was in today, he
wasn’t sure how he’d handle the rookie.

He left the meeting and headed for the track.
He’d worn his running shoes and two shirts so he could chase the
demons away with some good old-fashioned sweat. If he had time, he
planned to hit the weight room after.

Forcing himself to focus on football, he
spent the first three laps going over the team roster in his head
to make sure he’d gotten it right on his end. On the fourth lap,
his mind beelined to Kyle. The boy had been so low last night it
had nearly broken Mike’s heart....

He’d taken the kid for fast food because guys
had an easier time talking to each other if they were doing
something. Mike had pretended interest in the French fries and
burger in front of him but Kyle didn’t even touch his meal. After
he’d told Mike the whole sorry story, he’d confessed, “I cried in
front of Mom.”

“What’d she do?”

“
She cried, too.”

The thought of Neil Worthington having the
power to set Jacey off like that made his blood pressure skyrocket.
He ran faster, thinking about the boy some more...

“My father implied he won’t be in my life
unless I major in music. How can he do something like that,
Coach?”

“I reckon neither of you was seein’ things
clearly yesterday.”

Kyle had looked at him with an expression
Jacelyn often assumed. “You weren’t there.”

Realizing that a defense of Worthington
wasn’t what Kyle needed, Mike asked, “What can I do to make this
better?”

“Talking about it to you helps.”

“I’m glad.”

“And you could do something for Mom. I know
you two have kinda gotten to befriends. I feel bad I dumped all
this on her.”

Mike had rolled his eyes at the irony. Little
had Kyle known Mike himself was part of the problem. That was even
clearer when he’d brought the boy home. Jacelyn had been waiting
for them, sitting on the couch watching TV. She’d stood and wrapped
her arms around her waist. “Hi, buddy. Are you all right?”

Kyle had smiled, genuinely. “I’m okay, Mom.”
He turned to Mike. “Thanks, Coach. I feel better.”

After Kyle had gone up to call Kay, Jacelyn
watched Mike. There were questions in her eyes.

He’d immediately gone on the defensive. “I
didn’t encourage him about the sports thing, Jacelyn. He just
vented.”

“I’m glad you could make him feel
better.”

He’d sat down, because he’d promised to help
Kyle. “He’s worried about you.”

“About me? Why?”

“He realizes him changing majors is a blow.
But he doesn’t know the half of it.”

“What do you mean?”

“He doesn’t know about us.” Mike’s tone had
been bitter. “Then again, nobody does, do they?”

“It all happened pretty quickly between us.
Hardly enough time to tell the kids.”

“Or the president of the college.”

“I can’t deal with all that now, Mike.”

He’d been angry at that, so he’d stood.
“Yeah, sure. Let me know when you can make room in your life for
us.” He’d strode to the door, but looked over his shoulder after he
opened it. “If there is an
us...”

The memory made Mike run harder. That on top
of cutting the team this morning meant he needed the physical
outlet. The early-afternoon sun felt good beating down on his head;
sweat poured into his eyes. He’d lost count of the number of times
he’d rounded the track. As he neared the field house, he saw a
flash of yellow and green—Jacey in pretty summer clothes. He slowed
down and approached her. Consciously, he forced his breathing to
even out.

She looked tired, her face taut, her eyes
strained. When he stopped, she held out a bottle of water to
him.

“What’s this?”

“A peace offering?” She bit off some of her
lipstick. “I saw you when I drove in.”

“Mmm.” He took the water and drank
thirstily.

“You shouldn’t be running in this heat.”

Wiping the sweat from his brow with the end
of his shirt, he stared out at the track. “I had to.”

“Why?”

“It was either that or break something.”

“You had the first cuts today.”

He cocked his head. “How’d you know?”

“You mentioned it before. I’m sorry it fell
during all this.”

Mike couldn’t help himself. He reached out
and traced a circle under her eye. “You didn’t sleep.”

“Not much.”

“Kyle okay?”

“Actually, he was whistling this morning when
he left to get Ty.”

“And that didn’t help, did it?”

“What do you mean?”

“My time with him cheered him up, therefore
I’m somehow responsible for this.”

She took a step back and he cursed his
tongue. “I have to go. I have a meeting with the Outreach staff to
decide what we’re going to do about the loss of income to our
program.”

“Which only adds insult to injury.”

“I guess.”

Leaning over, he braced his foot on the
bleacher. “Are we gonna get past this, Jacey?”

“I want to.”

“Do you?”

Slowly, she lifted her hand. He was sweating,
but she cradled his cheek in her palm. “Yes. Do you have any free
time today?”

“We meet with the team at two to drop the
bomb. I’ll be free from about four to five, then we have another
session with the rest of the guys.”

She checked her watch. “I’ll make sure I’m
done with the Outreach thing by four.” Jacelyn studied him. “Have
you eaten today?”

“Didn’t think I could stomach anything.”

“Let’s meet in the Cyber Café in Basil Hall.
That way you can get some food before your next round.”

He smiled at her concern for him. “All
right.” He looked at her. She stared at him. The gulf between them
seemed wider than a lake down home. How had they gone from such
intimacy just days ago, to this? “See you then.”

She glanced at the track. “You done
here?”

“I hope not, Jacelyn.”

The words hung heavily in the air.

o0o

“I can’t wrap my brain around this.” Jacelyn
threw the folder on the table. She was stretched out on the couch,
while Millie sat on the chair in their now-sunny Outreach office.
She thought of the day the players had painted it; the memory
battered her already bruised heart.

Sighing heavily, Millie shook her head. “It’s
awful. We’ll be able to do so little for the next school year.”

“The choices are impossible,” Jacelyn said.
“We lose the National Merit Scholarship finalist or the kid with
twelve brothers and sisters.”

Millie held up a folder. “The Hispanic girl
who’s worked her way to college despite the fact that she had a
baby.” In her other hand she held a second folder. “Or the Nigerian
boy who made us cry in the interview.”

Jacelyn bit back the emotion. “Damn it. We
thought we were going to be able to give money to all of them. Do
it for early decision in December.”

Millie propped her feet up on the table.
“It’s so hard not to resent the athletes.” She smiled, though.

“Why the grin?”

“Gage said last night I shouldn’t hide my
feelings. It’s human to be mad at the Sports Studies program and
the Bulls for getting our money.”

“He
sounds more like the
psychologist.”

“He said when Mike met with Dickinson, he
didn’t know the funds would come from us.”

“Sure, it’s not their fault.”

Millie raked a hand through her dark hair.
“I’m angry, too. But not at Gage.”

When Jacelyn couldn’t talk around the lump in
her throat, Millie cocked her head. “You look terrible. It isn’t
just because of this cut in money, is it?”

“No. Though this is hard for me.”

“Somebody’s hurt your baby. It’s okay to be
upset.”

“Somebody hurt my other baby, too.”

“Meaning?”

“Kyle. Oh, Millie, he’s changed his major to
Sports Studies.”