Playing Catch: A Baseball Romance (18 page)

E
ven though his
thigh ached with a dull burn, the rest of Kirk’s body sprang alive as he kissed Jeanine, savoring her lips, her taste, the scent of wildflowers and the feel of her heated skin in his arms.

She drew her hands around his neck and massaged his solid shoulders, tilting her head as he ran his lips down the side of her neck. He swept her hair back and nuzzled her neck, feathering her alternately with kisses and tiny nips.

“I want you, Kirk, truly want to be with you.” She pressed her breasts against him and gripped him tight. He hesitated, wondering if she was again putting herself up for this, acting the sex kitten, but he couldn’t hold back any longer, not after all they’d been through.

He crashed his lips to hers, locking her in as he stroked her with all the passion he’d suppressed for so long. His fingers tangled around her silky hair, and he angled her head to dip deeper, exploring the curves of her sweet mouth, alternately sucking on her upper and then lower lips, tasting her with every fiber of his being.

She’d set him on fire the first night he met her, but he’d held back, wanting from her emotions over the physical. And now, he was sure. Sure that she was the only woman he’d ever want to kiss, handle, touch, and love.

She must have felt the same desire for him, because she dragged her hands from his shoulders to his chest, and began to unbutton his shirt, even as her lips crushed and nibbled, and she moaned with wild abandon. Their breaths mingled, raspy and hurried, and desire raced like a wildfire to his groin, filling his cock harder and faster than ever.

“You sure about this?” A needy groan rumbled in his throat as Jeanine’s hands traveled south to find his arousal straining from his sweatpants.

“Yes. I need this. I need you, Kirk.” She backed up from the kiss and stared at him through heavily lidded eyes. “You’re so big and hard. How long has it been?”

“Not since I met you, honey.” His voice rumbled through his throat, thick with need.

“Mind if I take a taste?” She ran her tongue slowly and seductively around her moist lips.

Before he could answer, she was sliding down, licking a line on that trail to happiness. Shockwaves of heat pounded through his body when she yanked his sweatpants down and his cock popped out, thick and hard.

Yes, he’d gone commando. It was easier than pulling briefs up past the bandages on his thigh.

Jeanine seemed to pause, whether to admire him or to reconsider, he wasn’t sure. So he turned her face up toward him. “You don’t have to do this, sweetheart. You and I, we don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“I know that, Kirk. I can back off, if you’re not comfortable.” She wrapped her hand around his erection and pumped it.

The groan that tore through his body had him almost convulsing. He wanted her badly, but he had to be sure that Jeanine was mentally and emotionally ready for this. He had to slow this down, even though every cell in his body screamed for him to let loose, to take the woman he’d fallen for and to make her scream with pleasure. Even more, he wanted her to feel loved and accepted, secure in knowing he’d never turn his back on her.

He removed her hand from his cock, and somehow, his mouth formed words. “I don’t want you to back off, ever, but I need to know that it’s me you want. No one else. I don’t want you proving something with me.”

He didn’t want to be a generic man, a body in her fantasies, someone to get her off, but as anonymous as the one-night stands she was used to.

“I know it’s you for me. I’ve been resisting it, heaping suspicion on you, listening to others lie about you, pushing you away, but deep inside, I know you did everything to help me. I want us to spend the night together.”

“I can’t if you’re not ready.” His voice gurgled in his tight throat. “I can’t take advantage of you.”

His cock and balls ached almost as much as his wounded thigh, but he had to be sure she was as committed as he was. If he were to be cured of his sexual addiction, he had to be sincere and open about his need for pure love—untinged by manipulation and control.

“What can I do to convince you if I can’t use sex?” Her eyes were wide and bright, as if she was truly stumped.

“Use words, Jeanine. Are we spending the time together as good friends or something else?”

“Oh, I think we’re much more than friends by now.” Her fingertips trailed behind his ear, feathering through his thick hair. “I want to explore this thing between us. I want you to be my partner through this recovery process. It’s not going to be easy being here and facing my past. Some days I’m going to be withdrawn and want to shut out the world, and other days, I might cry and wail and hate myself. But I’m hoping to face everything that’s happened to me, deal with it, understand it, and then put it behind me.”

His heart throbbed at her directness. She knew what she wanted, and she wanted to share her recovery with him, as a couple.

“It’s what I want too.” He palmed her face between his hands and caressed her cheeks with his thumbs. “I want to get well. Kick the anonymous sex addiction. I want to be attached to you, and you only. I want so much more than the shell of a life I’ve lived before meeting you.”

“So do I, Kirk.” Tears glistened in her eye. “I want to share this journey with you. I’m so tired of doing everything alone. So tired of pretending to be strong when inside, I’m falling apart. So tired of saying I’m okay when I’m anything but.”

He leaned his forehead against hers and inhaled her alluring fragrance. “We’ll get through this together. I promise.”

“Even during the trying times? Dr. Sparks warned that I might get worse before getting better.”

“Through everything. There’s nothing you can throw at me that’s going to make me give up on you. I know it isn’t going to be easy, but I want to be a part of you, and I’ll stick with you through thick and thin.”

She sighed and straddled him, careful not to touch his wounded leg. “I feel so much better having you with me. There’s no one like you, Kirk. No one.”

“There’s no one better than you.” He moved his lips to her cheek and kissed her lightly. “This is trail’s end for me, J, and you’re the one I want to come home to for the rest of my life.”

“Good. Now that I got the words out of the way, let me finish what I started.” She tugged at the hem of his T-shirt and raised it over his head.

J
eanine had
to be in control. Always. She had to be on top, and Kirk, with his wounded leg was perfect. Of course, being with Kirk was perfect, too.

His words were so sweet and true. He’d all but given her the green light to have her way with him. Anonymous sex she couldn’t handle, not anymore, but this was Kirk, her friend—a man who cared about her.

She had him half-naked, sitting on the loveseat in front of the fire, right where she wanted him. But first, she had to convince him she was truly up for anything. She didn’t blame him for hesitating, so she delivered another scorching kiss on him, opening his lips and mangling his tongue with hers.

He groaned, deep in his chest, rumbling and purring like a large lion. His hands pressed over her breasts and he grabbed them, rolling his palms over them, playing with her. Heat and fiery sparks mingled at the apex of her crotch and her jeans were too tight, her clothes too constraining.

“One moment.” She unlatched her lips from him and fumbled with her clothes. “Are you comfortable?”

“If you are.” He leaned back on the loveseat and shrugged the sweatpants down to his ankles before kicking them off. The bandage was thick and heavy across one thigh, but damn, his entire package was pumped and ready, bobbing just for her. “Shall I grab a condom?”

“Definitely.” She dug into her purse and produced a packet, handing it to him.

“We’re really going to do this?” He looked apologetic as his eyes took in the slow, strip tease she was gifting him with—not that she was trying. It was just that her blouse had too many buttons.

“No more words, big boy.” She unzipped her jeans and wiggled her behind, then lowered everything, including her panties. She was so moist and wet, she could take him then and there, as soon as he was sheathed. “Let the rubber meet the road.”

He stroked his cock, waving it in front of her, as a grin slowly creased his face. The flickering fire cast a long shadow right where she wanted to go. She watched mesmerized as he sheathed himself.

Climbing over him on the loveseat, she positioned her knees on both sides of his hips.

“Jeanine,” he muttered as his eyes locked on to hers, and he brought her down over the head of his cock.

Mesmerized, she gasped and held herself still as she stretched to enclose him. She wanted all of him, but she also wanted to savor his entrance.

“I want this.” She took in his half-closed eyes and the deep blue of his gaze. “I want us.”

She made the slow slide, purring at the way she felt every inch of him, a sweet and aching sensation, filling her to the hilt with loving pressure. She sat still and held him, kissing him softly as she squeezed him, loving the fullness, the possession she had of him, receiving him into her body.

“You okay?” he whispered, stroking her shoulders and back.

“More than okay,” she groaned. Now that she was fully accommodating him, heat rose like a persistent need and she moved, grinding herself against him. “You fill me completely. It feels so good.”

She trembled with urgency, rising up on her knees. She lifted herself so he was almost out, drawing a deep greedy moan, then lowered herself. The long stroke sizzled inside, stimulating her hunger. Again, she rose and lowered, but this time, she couldn’t go slow. Need and desire slammed her with each stroke and grind. She rocked and rose up again, then down, riding him and pressing her boobs into his face.

His hands clenched her ass and his mouth latched onto her nipple, sucking hard. Pain tinged with pleasure shot through her, and her entire body thrummed with the long pounding beats of heat, smoke, and fire.

She rode like she’d never ridden before, her hands bracing the back of the loveseat. Her thighs burned and her insides clenched, rubbed deliciously by his thick hard rod. Everything in her vibrated with a blinding pulse, and she couldn’t hold back any longer.

He was busy with her breasts, his face in her cleavage and his hands clutching her ass, as he helped her along, pushing her up and down, up and down, in glorious rhythm, riding the rail to ecstasy. Her breath came in puffs, and stars pulsated behind her eyelids. A rushing roar overcame her as floods of raw, naked sensations tore inside of her, ignited by his cock growing larger and harder.

She screamed as the climax exploded, grinding him against that exquisite spot of hers. His movements rough, he clutched her, slamming himself deeper and shattering all her controls. The dam blocking her heart broke and unleashed a torrent of emotions, hurtling her into uncharted waters.

She wanted to run, to jump away, disappear, drop down a hole. She felt naked, insane, helter-skelter, and worst of all, she saw George standing over her, grinning.
You love me, Jeanine. Call me Papa. Say you love me. That’s a good girl.

“Kirk, oh, Kirk …” Panic leapt over her heart, and her voice cracked. Raw, achy gasps hiccupped from her throat. “I don’t know what’s going on with me.”

“Stay with me, babe.” He hugged her tight as his hips jerked and spasms convulsed inside of her.

Jeanine burst into tears.

K
irk comforted
Jeanine and held her tight as she sobbed convulsively. Was she regretting it already or had the sex touched on a traumatic experience? Maybe he should have held back, despite her wishes.

He’d just had the most awesome experience ever, but now the woman he’d shared it with was weeping. She was still straddled over his softening cock, still wrapped around him.

“You okay?” He caressed her softly. “I’m still here with you. Whatever happened back there, it’s okay.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. All my feelings opened up and flooded me. I can’t get a handle on it.” She wiped her eyes and looked at him through teary eyelashes. “You must think I’m a mess.”

“I love how you opened up to me. I love everything about you. I just want you to be okay.”

“I am. Honest. I’ve never felt this way before. What have you done to me?” She leaned her forehead against his. “I’m scared. This feels so different, like I’m giving myself to you, and I have no control.”

“It’s called making love, Jeanine. I’ve never experienced it either, but Dr. Sparks says when it happens it’s completely different.” He smoothed her hair from her face. “It’s scary, but it’s great. I want to keep holding you and never let you go. Usually, I’m sneaking out the door by now.”

“I would have beaten you to the door.” She made a swooshing motion. “Gone.”

“Yeah, especially since you were on top and I have a bum leg.”

“Did I hurt you?” Concern etched her face as she moved off him.

“Not at all.” He stretched his legs and heaved himself up from the loveseat. “Let me get cleaned up and meet you in the bedroom. I think I deserve a cuddle after those fireworks.”

“You mean waterworks and fireworks.”

“Yep, the works.” He put his arm around her and guided her, buck naked, to the bedroom.

After stopping off at the bathroom to dispose of the condom, Kirk joined her under the covers and held out his arms. ‘This is a first for me.”

“Me too,” she admitted and curled into his arms. “I hope I’m not scaring you. I’m usually not so needy, and I never cry after sex.”

“Too busy escaping, I suppose.” He stroked her back and buried his nose in her hair, inhaling her scent. “Let me know when you’re ready for another round.”

She laughed, her entire body relaxed and warm. “You really have me going. Crying and laughing. I don’t know what’s going on, but I feel like I can finally let my past go.”

“That’s great, because you deserve to be happy.”

“I do, don’t I?”

“You do.” He kissed her lightly on the lips. “Now, relax and sleep tight. I’ll still be here in the morning.”

J
eanine woke sometime
in the wee hours of the night. It took her a few moments to orient herself. A man snored in the bed, and her stomach rumbled and growled. She’d skipped dinner and found Kirk in her cabin. She was at the Recovery Ranch out in the mountains. She was supposed to heal from her traumatic experience, but instead, she’d slept with Kirk, a sex addict.

Jeanine lay still and watched the moonlight bathe over Kirk’s strong and rugged features. From the high forehead to the straight nose to the cleft in his chin, he was one hundred percent manly man—the stuff heroes and legends were made of—a man women were attracted to.

How in Heaven’s name would therapy change a player like him into a one-woman man? He’d never had to pass up temptation before. Once his leg was healed and he was back in the game of baseball, how would he keep his pants zipped on the road?

Jeanine wanted to slap herself. Before Kirk, she’d never cared if a man she slept with was also sleeping with someone else. As long as he wore condoms and she tested clean year after year, she didn’t mind sharing. She had some limits, of course. No married men or men in committed relationships, but if a man was single and unattached, then it was game on while it was fun and no strings afterwards.

Now, she was feeling possessive over Kirk. This was exactly why she’d never wanted a relationship before, and he was making it too easy for her to fall for him.

Then what? Would he be gone by the morning, despite spending the night? Should she care? Or could she make him stay the way she’d gotten George all to herself when he’d asked his wife for a divorce?

A smile froze over her face. Men really weren’t that hard to please. Their cocks ruled them, and if she could get their cocks hard for her, she could pull their strings.

Even George Simpson.

She shuddered at the thought, but it was true. If Kirk hadn’t been there, she was sure she could have talked George into anything she wanted. Not that she was blaming Kirk for jumping in, except he’d ruined his future.

He should have let her handle it. She wasn’t a weak damsel in distress.

Chills raised the tiny hairs on her arms as she perked her ears and listened to the night sounds. Outside, the coyotes yipped and crickets chirped. George was behind bars. She had nothing to worry about.

Kirk was here. He’d help her get through the nightmares and flashbacks. He knew what he was getting into and he’d promised to stick with her.

Kirk was hers, and she’d never let him go. She rolled onto her side and held onto Kirk’s hard, warm body as if he were a body pillow.

“My Kirk,” she whispered. “You’re my lucky charm.”

The next time she woke it was morning, and a decadent aroma filled the cabin: fresh roast coffee, maple syrup, and bacon. Sunlight filtered through the curtains and Jeanine checked the time on the alarm clock. Eight in the morning.

The area where Kirk had slept was rumpled, and warmth lingered under the covers. Jeanine turned over and hugged his pillow, sniffing it and basking in his earthy and woodsy man-scent. She could get used to Kirk, not to mention the awesome sex. If she had her little black book, she’d score him a perfect ten in every aspect, especially in the orgasm department.

Since he was in the kitchen, she hurried to the bathroom and got herself ready. The shower refreshed her, and she pulled on a casual, outdoorsy outfit: jeans, tank, chambray work shirt, and ankle boots. After applying light makeup, she stepped into the dining nook.

Kirk stood in front of the stove flipping pancakes, wearing only a pair of sweatpants which hung low on his waist.

Jeanine couldn’t help but admire the view before he turned and greeted her. “I figure I’d make myself useful. Brought the groceries over from my cabin and cooked you up breakfast.”

“I intend to repay you in every way.” Jeanine glided into the kitchen and let him wrap her in his arms. “Mmm … did you sleep well?”

“Yes, like a baby.” His deep voice burred against her ear, warming her insides immediately. “What’s the plan for today?”

“I have a full day, but I’m hoping we can do something this evening. How about dinner? I’ll cook.”

“Sounds heavenly.” He smushed his lips on her forehead and rubbed her back. “How did it feel to wake up with me this morning?”

“You weren’t in bed with me.” She took a step back and put her hands on her hips. “I feel gypped.”

“Wouldn’t you rather have coffee and pancakes?” He pressed her back and guided her to the table.

“I was hoping for a morning cuddle, maybe even a quickie. Not that I’m complaining.” She smiled and sniffed the aroma of fresh brewed coffee.

“If you eat your breakfast, I might be able to arrange that quickie.” He reeled her in for a wet kiss. “Besides, we’re here to recover from our issues, and we’ve gotten closer with words than anything our naughty bits would have done.”

“Ah, but that naughty stick makes everything so much better.” She snagged a strawberry from the plate and rolled her tongue around it.

“You’re making it hard, missy.” He ground his hardened bulge over the behind before pulling out a chair for her at the table.

“Good.” She swept her hair over her shoulders and took the seat he’d pulled for her. “I intend to make you very, very hard.”

“Best eat these pancakes while they’re nice and fluffy.” He strode to the stove and flipped the pancakes onto a plate.

“Bet you want to eat my fluffy pancakes and lick them good. Shall we try it with maple syrup?”

He chuckled and took a jug of syrup from the refrigerator along with a stick of butter. “I’ll hold you to all of this, but you might want to check with your therapist. Mine is telling me to withhold sex until I’ve established a friendly relationship. I get a sticker for every day I hold out.”

“Oops, looks like you lost your sticker last night.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll lie to her.”

“Then so will I.” She stuck out her hand to shake. “Friends only.”

“The best of friends.” He shook and squeezed her fingers. “Let’s eat before you starve. I heard your stomach grumbling all night.”

“Heard you snoring like a lion.”

“You aren’t so quiet yourself.” He kidded her and served her a portion of food. “Which program are you here for?”

“Trauma and PTSD, but the receptionist seemed to think I was here for the Love and Sex Addiction program.” Jeanine twirled her fork in the buttery syrup.

“That’s because I added that to your program. Bribed the receptionist for your key, too.”

“That was unprofessional of him to give it to you. What kind of place is this? It looks like it could use a facelift.”

“Used to be a dude ranch. The recession knocked them under, at least according to Dick, the receptionist.”

Jeanine covered her mouth and swallowed a giggle. “That’s his name?”

“Hey, Dick is a perfectly good name.”

“For a dick.” She chortled, almost choking on her food. “He was totally hitting on me, and to think he works for a ranch treating sex addicts.”

“Bet he enjoys the clientele.” Kirk’s laughter boomed. “Hey, why didn’t I think of this before when I was a sex addict? Run a resort for sex addicts. How much fun would that be?”

Jeanine glanced out the window. “Loads of fun, except they wouldn’t want to come to the backwoods for that. We’d have to have it in Vegas or somewhere. A convention for sex addicts. Think what the meet and greet would be like.”

“Or all the nightcaps.”

“Room service, yum, yum.”

“You take on the bellboys and I’ll lick up the maids.”

Jeanine punched Kirk lightly on the bicep. “That’s going too far. The only person you’re licking is me.”

“Jealous, much?” He rubbed the spot she’d hit, not that she’d hit him hard.

“Absolutely. You created a green-eyed monster last night. Add all the romantic things you shared with me, and I’m a goner.”

“It’ll be your turn to share when you get your homework.” He waggled his eyebrows. “I’m all ears.”

“What are you talking about? You mean everything you said was homework?”

“I’m not giving it away, but yes, my therapist wants me to be bold and not hide my feelings. Say what I want and let the chips fly.”

“Okay, then.” Jeanine sat up straighter and leaned toward Kirk. “I want to give up one-night stands and be addicted to one person.”

Her heartrate tripled as she scanned his eyes to see if he was on the same page. If she wasn’t going to be doing multiple men, then she wanted to at least do one—mainly Dirty Kirk Kennedy.

Kirk slid his hand across the table and took her hand, intermingling their fingers. “I’m all for addictions for the right reason.”

“What’s the right reason?” Her breath caught in her throat at his serious tone, but also from the touch of his firm hand and the direction she hoped he would lead the conversation.

“Didn’t you wonder about the program name? Love and Sexual Addiction? They’re going to teach us how to love.”

“They are?”

“Yes, after all, if we both knew how to love healthily, we wouldn’t be sex addicts.”

“True, but then, we’d be the blind leading the blind.”

“We could be each other’s first love.” His lake blue eyes sparkled as if the sun had peeked out from behind a cloud.

“I’ve never fallen in love before.” Jeanine couldn’t tear her eyes from him, although last night felt close. But then, she could be mistaking the bonding hormones emitted by sex as love.

“Neither have I, but I definitely feel something for you.”

“Strangely enough, I feel something for you, too,” Jeanine admitted. “You were getting on my nerves, knocking me off balance. I get flustered and jittery, but I’m still not ready to fall in love. I don’t know if a class can teach me.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Kirk kissed her hand. “Let what happens come naturally. You have to unlearn a lot of bad behavior before you can emerge like a butterfly from a chrysalis. Beautiful, vibrant, and fully alive.”

“I want that.” Jeanine’s heart twisted and a yearning ache radiated to the tips of her fingers. “I want to be alive. I want to stop hiding from my past. I want to move forward.”

“Then you’ve come to the right place, and I’m going to be right here with you, by your side.”

“How did I get so lucky?” She scooted her chair closer to him and dotted a kiss on his lips. “To have you as my first love.”

“First, last, and forever.” He completed her thought and opened himself to her, deepening the kiss.

Was this how a man wooed a woman? By words alone? If so, then, she too, could attract a man without using sex, but just by being herself.

Why hadn’t she figured this out before?

K
irk finished
his afternoon counseling session with a walk down the river with his therapist, a man who used to be a rock star, but was now happily married and raising three children.

His worst fear was if he’d relapse into his bad behavior and end up hurting Jeanine, but Rick gave him tips on how to avoid a relapse. He’d substitute temptation with the memory of emptiness and picture losing all the progress he’d made, having to start at ground zero again.

Being obsessed with Jeanine had its positives, and one of them was a distinct lack of interest in checking out other women’s bodies or fantasizing about how they’d be in bed. Besides, he couldn’t wait to go back to the cabin and have another round with her. They’d missed out on the quickie because they took too long for breakfast.