Playing by the Rules (6 page)

Crystal, fortunately, was engrossed in a whispered conversation with her date and missed it. Clare loved it. Jo raised an eyebrow. And Kate . . . Kate picked up her bag and turned to go, feeling as though she were wading into a purple sea.

With a surprising show of patience, Jo waited not only until they had made it into the ladies, but also until the girl who was touching up her makeup had finished and left, before turning on Kate. But when she did, it was with her hands on her hips and a look that said she was going to get to the bottom of this or die trying.

‘Right, Kate. Spill. What in blazes is going on here?’

Kate looked at her helplessly.

‘You tell me and we’ll both know!’

‘Oh, come on Kate! Are you trying to tell me you didn’t put him up to this?’

‘Of course I didn’t!’ Her conscience smote her, and she added, ‘Well, unless you call the stunt we pulled for Crystal earlier putting him up to it. But I swear, that was spur of the moment. I never intended for it to go this far!’ She hesitated. ‘In fact, I was wondering if
you
had put him up to it.’

‘Me?! As if! I told him to behave, remember? Shows how much he listens to me!’ She grimaced. ‘I’d forgotten you can never trust him with a captive audience.’

Kate felt a cold spot in her gut. ‘You think it was all made up, then?’

Jo frowned and considered. ‘Well it has to be, doesn’t it? Surely he couldn’t have had a crush like that on you without one of us knowing it? I mean, I knew you had one on him, but surely I would have known if it went both ways?’

Kate’s stomach, which had felt like it was clawing its way up her oesophagus while she waited for Jo to respond, dropped like a stone to somewhere in the vicinity of the cold spot.

‘You knew?’

‘That you had a crush on him back in the day? Of course I did. I’m your best friend. Did you really think I wouldn’t notice?’

Kate’s cold spot became even more frigid.

‘Did he know as well?’

Jo looked horrified. ‘No! Or at least, not from me. What do you take me for? I wouldn’t have told him that. I might have made
you
tell him, eventually. But he moved away not long after I worked it out, so it seemed like that was the end of it.’ She frowned again and tapped a finger thoughtfully against the bench she was perched on. ‘Unless it wasn’t . . .’

Kate’s stomach performed an impressive leap back into her throat.

‘Wasn’t . . . what?’

‘Wasn’t the end of it. Look, I know it sounds crazy – I can’t
believe
I didn’t see it – but what if he’s telling the truth about falling in love with you? I mean, I know Josh could bullshit for Australia, but I don’t know . . . there was something about that story that rang true.’ She pushed off the bench and click-clacked back and forth across the school-issue concrete bathroom floor as she thought out loud. ‘And now that I think about it, he
did
hang around a lot when you came over. And that bit about Justin! I haven’t thought about him in years. I certainly haven’t talked about him. But Josh remembered his name. How many men do you know who would remember the name of their kid sister’s fifteen-year-old crush? None, that’s how many! But if he really was jealous . . .’

Then she’d missed a great opportunity and apparently had a talent for bad timing with men. She ignored them when they did want her and wanted to marry them when they didn’t. Great. Another thing to add to her list of shortcomings.

Jo stopped pacing in front of Kate.

‘You know, he often asks about you when he emails or calls. I used to think it was just to make conversation. But maybe not! Maybe he really has been carrying a torch for you all this time!’

The two women looked at each other silently, frantically trying to fit this startling possibility into the landscape of their memories. Jo broke the silence first.

‘How cool would it be if it really is true?’

‘Excuse me?’

‘Well, if he likes you and you like him . . . you could end up together for real! That would be brilliant! What could be better than the two people I love best in the world being together?’ Jo looked quite luminous at the prospect.

Kate rubbed her temples, which had started to throb. She’d come in here to clear things up, not to get more confused, but she wasn’t getting very far.

‘Slow down there, Cupid! Aren’t you getting a little ahead of yourself? We aren’t even sure that he really likes me. And I never said anything about liking him.’

Jo made a face at her.

‘Oh come on, Kate, I’m still your best friend. You like him.’

Kate wanted to deny it, but the memory of the way her body responded to his nearness prevented her.

‘I’ll admit we do seem have some chemistry . . .’

‘Oh, you think?’ Jo responded dryly. ‘Since when do you let guys nuzzle your neck in public? And enjoy it so much?’

‘Well, you were the one who told me to have a fling! Don’t start giving me a hard time about it!’ Jo held up her hands in surrender. ‘Anyway, you can’t read anything into that,’ Kate continued. ‘What if I was so determined to have a fling that I would have responded that way to anyone who was nice to me?’

Even as she spoke though, Kate knew that wasn’t true. Josh’s lips had ignited parts of her body that she hadn’t even known were flammable. His touch seemed to be able to make her forget her own name, not just where she was.

‘Okay,’ she admitted, as much to herself as to Jo. ‘It couldn’t have been “anyone”. The chemistry’s real. But that doesn’t mean anything else is. You said yourself he’s probably just playing to an audience and as for me . . .’

She threw her hands into the air, sending her evening bag spinning around her wrist. ‘Two weeks ago I thought I was about to be engaged to Alain. I
wanted
to be engaged to him! Even if I do like Josh, I can’t just . . . switch, just like that. What kind of person would that make me?’

‘One who goes with the flow! One who’s open to adventure! One who takes what life throws at her and runs with it!’

‘In other words, someone who’s nothing like me!’ Kate smiled wryly and shook her head as her pulse rate returned to normal.

The memory of Alain had restored the sanity that Jo and Josh between them seemed determined to unseat, no matter how unwittingly. Not because she wanted him back. In that moment, she knew both that he was never coming back and that she was resigned to that. If she hadn’t been, she wouldn’t have been grieving so badly.

But he did represent her real life, her normal life, her ordered life. This thing, whatever it was, with Josh, had no place in her normal life. His cheerful spontaneity was fun, even exhilarating. And it had proven useful tonight – at least until he’d got carried away. But it bore about as much relation to her usual, measured progress through life as a peacock did to a pigeon. This crazy carry-on could only be a passing thing, no matter what Jo might think or hope. Kate could have a stab at running with it – indeed, with those two dragging her along, she doubted she had much choice – as long as she remembered that it wasn’t going to last.

Jo looked as if she were about to argue, but Kate held up her hand.

‘Look, I’ll admit there’s some chemistry and I admit that maybe we had mutual crushes on each other way back when, but that’s as far as I’ll go. Apart from claiming to be my fiancé – which I asked him to do, in a roundabout kind of way – he hasn’t said anything concrete about his feelings now. So I think we both need to chill out a bit and wait and see what happens before we get too excited.’

‘Or we could just ask him . . .’

‘Jo Marchant, don’t you dare! This evening has been quite embarrassing enough already.’

Jo grinned. ‘Only kidding. I wouldn’t do that. Probably. Not tonight anyway.’

Which wasn’t exactly reassuring, but since Jo seemed to think the conversation was over, Kate decided discretion was the better part of keeping her in check. She’d forgotten how unpredictable life could be around Jo. And Josh was, if anything, worse. If one of them had committed to refrain from causing her trouble, at least for tonight, she would accept that and be satisfied. She still had the other one to manage.

Kate and Jo made their way back to the table talking about nothing more inflammatory than the fabulousness or otherwise of the dresses they were passing.

They arrived back to find that their first course had arrived and the conversation at the table had moved on. Matt was talking to Crystal’s date about football, Clare was leaning over talking to another friend at a nearby table and Josh was deep in conversation with Andrew about the merits of Andrew’s new smartphone. Crystal, mercifully, was nowhere to be seen.

Jo slid happily enough into her chair beside Matt, but when she realised what he was talking about, she pointedly turned her back on him and joined Josh in poring over Andrew’s technological toy. Kate thought she could just about see the umpire this time, hovering over Matt’s head, yelling ‘Stee-rike . . . Three!’ She smothered a laugh, settled into her seat and proceeded to split her attention between listening to Clare’s horror story of a forty-hour labour and trying to ignore the pressure of Josh’s leg against hers.

Fortunately for the latter effort, which, it had to be said, was not going that well, the need to address his food soon made Josh move in his chair, and, in doing so, release Kate’s leg from his. Kate breathed a sigh of what she hoped was relief, and looked at her plate.

Once again, she found herself pleasantly surprised. The food, of which she had not expected much, looked likely to be as good as the champagne and the décor. Better still, the white wine, which was finding its way with reassuring regularity into her glass, courtesy of Josh, was positively delicious. She sipped it appreciatively and felt herself tentatively beginning to relax.

She should have known it couldn’t last.

Without the distraction of wine and with the hunger of pregnancy to spur her, Clare despatched her salmon with alacrity and was ready to chat again before Kate was halfway through her leek tart.

‘So, have you set a date yet?’

The pastry of the tart was perfect, flaky and delicious, but at Clare’s question, Kate felt it turning to crunchy dust in her mouth.

‘Date?’ It was a stupid prevarication. As if she didn’t know what Clare was talking about.

‘For the wedding!’

Kate felt the purple sea washing around her feet again, but this time there were sharks in it. Crystal-shaped sharks. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Crystal, head tilted their way, even as she pretended to pay attention to her date. Kate was sure it wasn’t just her imagination. Crystal was looking for some way of getting back at them. Whether Crystal suspected them of lying, she couldn’t tell, but she was certainly open to anything she could use.

Kate took another gulp of wine before answering.

‘Oh, the wedding! Well, no, we haven’t set a date. You see, we’re not really
officially
engaged,’ she said, wondering how deep into half-truths she could go without drowning.

‘No,’ Josh added, leaping into the breach. ‘I haven’t had a chance to talk to Kate’s parents yet and of course we can’t make anything official until we do.’

Clare, the die-hard romantic, saw the sense in this immediately, to Kate’s relief.

‘And besides,’ Josh went on, ‘it’s a bit premature to be talking about dates before I’ve even bought the ring!’

Or proposed, for that matter
, Kate thought. For a wild moment, she wondered what would happen if she just came out with it, and told Clare that it was all a front, a scam to put Crystal off and make her jealous. Clare didn’t like Crystal either. Surely she’d understand? But then she looked at her friend, holding her husband’s hand and beaming at the two of them as though she’d invented them. She was so happy about their pretend love story. Kate couldn’t do it to her. Besides, however childish and foolish it was, there was no way she was going to risk giving Crystal the satisfaction of knowing the truth. She’d have to tough it out. But she didn’t have to sit here and talk about it. With sudden resolution, she stood up.

‘Clare,’ she said, ‘I’m sorry to break off the conversation like this, but I have just seen my old French teacher. I would really like to catch up with her. Would you mind horribly if we snuck off for a few minutes?’

‘Of course not,’ Clare replied. ‘I need to go and catch up with some other people too.’ She pushed back her chair and levered herself to her feet with her husband’s assistance. He helped her with such care and unconscious ease that Kate’s heart ached. Would she ever find that level of comfort in a relationship? She turned away hastily to hide the mist in her eyes and found Josh already on his feet, looking as though he could think of nothing better than to follow her wherever she wanted to go. She blinked the tears away, and took his hand, marvelling at how natural it was already starting to feel to do so. Together, they moved off towards the other side of the room, where she fervently hoped the sharks would not follow.

When they were far enough away from the table not to be heard, Josh said softly, ‘Okay, so
who
are we going to see?’

Kate was embarrassed. ‘Oh, sorry, Josh. That was a bit abrupt, wasn’t it? I hope I wasn’t rude to Clare.’ She looked back guiltily. ‘But I didn’t think I could take any more talk about our “wedding”.’ She had responded in the same low tones, but she still looked around in case anyone was listening.

‘Why not?’ Josh replied.

‘Oh Josh!’ Kate felt a surge of exasperation and clung to it, as it was about the least complicated thing she had felt towards Josh all evening. ‘How can you be so calm about it?’

‘What’s not to be calm about?’ He affected a look of surprise. ‘You love me, I love you, and we are going to get married. Everything’s perfect!’

‘Josh! How can you joke about it?’

They had been steering a course about the edge of the room, but now Josh stopped short and turned towards her.

‘Who’s joking? We are in leeerv! Everybody says so. Ask Clare! It’s a fairytale! It’s happily ever after. It’s a beautiful thing.’ He struck a pose; hand on heart, gazing off soulfully into the middle distance.

‘You . . . you . . . you sod. You’re enjoying yourself, aren’t you?’

Josh pulled on the hand he was still holding until she was close enough for him to wrap his arms around her and murmur in her ear.

‘You bet I am. Most fun I’ve had in ages. Yesterday, I was footloose and fancy-free and tonight look at me: engaged to a beautiful woman and the hero of a romantic fantasy. I never knew being engaged could be so entertaining. If this is being engaged, I can’t wait to find out what being married’s like. I think we’ll really have to do it. What are you doing next Wednesday?’

Kate could feel her blood pressure rising from his nearness and the effortless effect he had on her annoyed her even more than his flippancy. She knew she should pull out of his embrace, but somehow she couldn’t quite bring herself to do it. So she stamped her foot instead.

‘Oh, you are infuriating! You’re not going to take this seriously, are you?’

‘Kate, do you really want me to be serious?’ Josh suddenly sounded quite different, and when Kate looked, startled, into his eyes, she saw that there was no laughter in them now. In the dim light they looked truly black: impenetrable, intense and ever so slightly scary. Suddenly Kate wasn’t at all sure that she wanted to get serious with this man – not in a room full of people, anyway.

As if he had read her mind, he said, ‘I suspect there are quite a lot of serious things that we should talk about, but I’m not sure this is the time or the place.’

Kate nodded, then shook her head, then nodded again. She agreed with him, but with his arms around her and his breath on her face, whether she should say yes or no to express her agreement was quite beyond her to work out.

Fortunately, he seemed to get the message. As abruptly as he had become serious, he returned to his more familiar lightness. ‘So,’ he said, releasing her and pulling her arm through his, ‘how about you tell me who we are going to see?’

‘Yes, of course,’ Kate said, feeling that she had had a narrow escape, without being quite sure from what. ‘Yes . . . right . . . okay!’ She paused, to gather her thoughts. ‘Well, Madame Le Map —’

‘Le Map? Sorry to interrupt, but did I hear that right? Is that her real name?’

‘Yes! I know it sounds a bit odd, but yes, that is her real name. Don’t ask me where it came from. I’m not sure she knows herself. If you ask her, she says “I am from Brittany,” as though that explains everything – which perhaps it does. Anyway, she was my first French teacher. You could say she’s responsible for my whole career. I was keen on studying French even before I met her, but after one class with her, I was more than keen, I was hooked.’

‘What did she do?’

‘In our first lesson she told us that when learning French nouns, we needed to remember whether they took a masculine or feminine article. So far, so normal. I took notes. Then she said that the best way to remember which one they took was to remember something about the object that reminded us of a male or female characteristic. Again, logical. Then she gave us an example.

‘She said that we could easily remember the difference between
le
tableau (masculine) and
la
table (feminine) because – wait for it – the blackboard has no legs and the table has legs and in France legs are
much
more important on a woman than on a man.’ She paused to smile at the memory. ‘Can you imagine the effect that had on a class of fifteen-year-olds? I fell madly in love with her on the spot and I have
never
forgotten the articles for blackboards and tables!’

‘I bet you haven’t!’ Josh stopped again and laughed out loud. Looking at him, Kate had a sudden flashback to telling Alain the same story. He had smiled, but she suspected that he had never quite understood what was so special about it. She felt a surge of bitterness rise like heartburn inside her. Had he ever really ‘got’ her? Then she caught herself and forced the bile back down. That was unfair – not to mention pointless. She dismissed the memory and went on with her story as Josh started manoeuvring among tables again.

‘We’ve kept in touch intermittently over the years. We send Christmas cards, and I try to see her when I am in town. But I’ve been away so long this time that I haven’t seen her for years. It’s past time to catch up. And here we are.’

‘Kate! Ça va?’

Kate bent to kiss her old teacher, who beamed at her and kissed her in return. Then, remembering her manners, Kate turned and pulled Josh forward.

‘Madame, je voudrais vous présenter mon ami, Josh.’

Josh took the hand that Madame Le Map held out to him and kissed it, before straightening and saying ‘Enchanté, Madame,’ with his most winning smile. It was incredibly corny, but the teacher loved it. She gave Josh a pretty winning smile of her own, then turned to Kate, and said, in French, ‘I think you should keep this one, darling. Gallantry is not so easy to come by these days!’

‘Madame, he —’ Kate began, but Josh beat her to it, responding in French.

‘Indeed not, Madame, but women like Kate are equally rare. I would be very delighted to be kept!’

Kate glared at him, but Madame Le Map laughed the loud, ringing laugh that was one of the things that Kate loved about her.

‘Ah, young man, learn a lesson from this that I should be well and truly old enough to have learned by now . . . never assume anything! Obviously, you speak French – more than speak it. Are you French?’

‘Mauritian, Madame, by birth and mother. My father is Australian.’

Madame turned back to Kate.

‘Sounds perfect to me! And good looking, too! So when are you going to make an honest man of him?’

‘Madame!’ Kate couldn’t believe that she had traversed the length of the gym to escape this question, only to walk straight into it again.

‘What, Kate? How long are you going to make me wait to dance at your wedding? I won’t last forever, you know! You need to get a move on! He’s not unwilling, by the sound of it. Why would he be?’ She smiled up at Josh, who smiled back. Then she laughed again, at the look on Kate’s face. ‘Kate . . . Kate! Have you still not learned to know when I am teasing? But I will take pity on you and stop now. Sit! Sit, both of you, and catch up.’

Kate and Josh obediently scrounged a couple of spare chairs from a nearby table and sat down with Madame and her husband. Kate had not seen Monsieur Le Map for several years, and she was shocked to see how much older he looked. He greeted her affectionately, but he looked tired and his hands shook as he held his glass.

Madame, too, was looking her age. Kate knew she was no longer young, but she had always seemed so vibrant, so alive and so assured, that Kate had never thought of her as old. But now she could not help noticing that her hair was whiter and her movements slower than she remembered. Her mind had lost none of its sharpness, though, and Kate enjoyed talking to her as much as ever.

In fact, she enjoyed it even more than usual, as this time she had the rare pleasure of also seeing Monsieur Le Map really enjoying himself. Much quieter than his wife, he didn’t say a lot at the best of times and, as a rule, hardly spoke at all at parties. But Josh had managed to engage him in conversation, and they were chatting away in French with obvious mutual enjoyment. Kate felt a pang of guilt. She obviously had never tried hard enough to draw him out. But that only made her more delighted with Josh’s thoughtfulness and she blessed him in her heart for bringing pleasure to her dear old friend.

She could have stayed there all night, but when the main courses started to arrive, Kate reluctantly concluded they should go back to their table. Bidding her friends a fond farewell, she promised to come and visit them before she went home, and rose to go. Josh unfolded himself from his chair in turn, shook hands with Monsieur Le Map, and once again bent over Madame’s hand. She rewarded him with a sparkling smile, then looked around him to speak to Kate.

‘Bring him, too, when you come. Soon!’

Kate smiled and turned away, only to find that her eyes had filled with tears. She raised her hand to brush them away but quickly realised that a hand was not going to do the job. Tears were rolling down her cheeks in volumes that did not bode well for what was left of her makeup. Any minute now her nose would start to run. And she didn’t even know why she was crying.