Playing at Forever (3 page)

“Actually, Kevin,”
  she
heard the anger in her voice.  “The reason our marriage failed was
your
infidelity.” 

“You’ve always put this place first, Penelope.  Our marriage was never a priority.”  Her head was spinning.  How could he even suggest such a thing?  Especially considering the fact that she had done
everything
she could to try and make things work.

“I
hired
Gina so that I could concentrate on our marriage!  You were the one who decided to put
work
first then.”  She remembered the many late nights he began putting in at the restaurant.  How obvious it had all been.  How
oblivious
she had been. 

“Too little, too late, Pen.” 

“Give me a break, Kevin.  You were just waiting for your chance to walk out.  Luckily for you, I provided it.”  Sometimes, she wondered what her life would be like if she hadn’t hired Gina Myers on to manage the restaurant.   

“Luckily for me.”
  Penny couldn’t stand it—how self-righteous he was.  Why did he have to be so smug?  Why did he have to rub salt in the already-aching wound?  What good did it do him?

With tears in her eyes, she shoved passed him, stepping out into the cool night air.  She breathed in deeply, letting the scent of the ocean wash over her as the sound of the waves lapping against the coast calmed her nerves. 

Kevin Gagnon was not the man she had thought he was.

She remembered him best from high school.  He had been a nice boy—somebody who looked forward to the future.  He’d treated her well—always a gentleman.  They had been a good match, everyone had said.  They wanted the same things—a strong business, a happy family. 
A pleasant future.
 

She’d thought they’d had something special.

Now she could only wonder if she had been lying to herself. 

The memory of the night she’d caught the two of them flashed before her eyes.  She’d taken the day off—a rarity for her, but she’d wanted to have a special night with her husband.  She’d spent the day shopping for something sexy and stepping out of her comfort zone to be pampered.  Penny was ready to start trying for a family—and she thought Kevin would be too.

He had stayed late at work again—to make up for her absence, he’d said.  But when it was nearly midnight and he still hadn’t come home—she’d gotten worried.  She’d gone to look for him.

And it was there in the parking lot—just across the way from where she stood now—that she’d seen them. 
Leaning against Gina’s car, wrapped intimately around one another.
  She remembered the pain she’d felt—the embarrassment.  A fresh wave of tears stung her eyes now and she shook her head, willing the memory away.

She thought it strange now, though, that it hadn’t been her most heartbreaking memory.  No—in fact, it hadn’t even been close.

The memory of Tommy Davidson jumping on his bike and taking off into the night fluttered across her memory.  She remembered the sudden, terrifying ache that had flooded through her as she realized he was gone—not because he had left, but because she knew that she would never see him again. 
Her best friend—her other half.
  The only one who had ever really understood
her.
 

She remembered the tears that had overwhelmed her as she sunk to the ground and pulled her knees to her chest.  She’d been almost completely debilitated by that moment.

But the night she’d caught her husband in the arms of another woman, she’d been completely calm.  Upset, yes.  Hurt—of course. 
But completely functional.
  She had driven back to the house she’d shared with him, packed up a few of her belongings, and then she’d gone straight to Amy’s. 

Penny sighed, running her hand roughly through her hair.  She sniffed quietly, pulling herself back together.  Behind her, she heard the door open. 

“Make sure you don’t forget to lock up.”

“Like I ever have?”  Penny couldn’t help the harsh tone in her voice—the annoyance she couldn’t deny whenever she was around him. 

“Have a good night, Penelope.”  She almost thought she heard a mocking tone in his words, but she couldn’t be quite certain. 

“You too, Kevin.
  Tell Gina I say hello.”  If he was going to be childish, she felt she could afford a few jabs here and there. 

He said nothing more—and she remained exactly where she stood until she heard his car pull away, when she finally turned around and returned to the restaurant, knowing she could spend another couple of hours going over paperwork. 

What reason did she have to hurry home now?

It had been a long drive—yet somehow, he’d managed to go undetected.  He’d driven almost straight through, stopping only once for a few hours of sleep before jumping back on his bike and continuing on.

The desire to find something familiar was undeniable.  It fueled him, pushing him even through exhaustion. 

And when he’d passed by the “Welcome to
Ravenside
” sign, the fuel only burned brighter.  He was so close—so near to his destination. 

That was when he actually stopped to think about what he was doing. 

What was his plan?  Was he going to track Penelope Lang down and hope that, after ten years of silence, she’d be willing to even talk to him?  What if he couldn’t find her?  What if she’d left
Ravenside
? 

He’d stopped himself then, knowing that the small North Carolina town was her home.  Penny would never leave her home—not for good, anyway. 

It was late by the time he arrived and he had no idea where to even begin.  He racked his brain, trying to pull up any memory that might give him a clue. 

It was at that moment that he saw it.

A small white building, just off the coast.
  The lighting was dim inside, but still visible through all of the windows.  He saw a patio off to the side, for seaside dining he recalled.  “Seaside dining at
The Seaside
,”
  she’d
told him.  It was her dream.

Her dream—right there, right in front of him.
 

And then he saw her.  She was leaving the restaurant through the front door, locking it behind her.  There weren’t any cars left in the parking lot and he realized that she would be walking.  Tommy watched as she walked over to the railing of the dock and paused, staring out into the ocean.  She reached up to her face, as if to brush away a tear—and he remembered the feel of her cheek beneath his thumb. 

He took his helmet off then, needing to
really
see her. 

It was almost as if he were breathing fresh air for the first time in a very long time—even just seeing
her
was refreshing. 

Tommy lifted himself from the bike and kicked the stand down, allowing it to remain in place.  He took a step toward her, feeling his heart pounding erratically in his chest. 

Was it strange that he was taken back almost fifteen years in this moment?  That catching even just the briefest glimpse of her captivated him in such a way he had only once experienced it before—and even then, with her? 

He hesitated for a moment, running through the possibilities.  What would he say?  How would he explain himself? 

Penny turned then, the light from the streetlamp casting down directly over her, illuminating her in the darkness. 

And much like she had done all those years ago, Penelope Lang took Tommy Davidson’s breath away. 

For a moment, Penelope thought she was hallucinating.  She thought she had slipped back into her earlier fantasy, imagining the dark, handsome hero coming to her rescue. 

It was a recurring daydream, the players always the same. 
Kevin, the neglectful husband, and Tommy, the passionate protector.
 

Reality, however, was so much more complicated. 

And so when she felt an odd tingling sensation raising the hairs on the back of her neck, Penny looked up—her eyes landing on a very familiar figure, dressed head to toe in black, leaning against the motorcycle he had no doubt ridden into town.  She had to pinch herself in order to determine whether or not she should believe her eyes. 

She closed them tightly together and held them so for a long moment, only to find the same sight before her as a moment before. 

The moment she heard his cocky little chuckle, she knew. 

“It’s me, Penny.” 

“Tommy?” 
her
voice was heavy with doubt. 

“It’s been a long time since anyone has called me that.”  And before she could stop herself, she was running forward, throwing her arms around his neck and breathing him in. 

For the briefest moment, she allowed herself to enjoy her reality. 

She felt him wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer. 
Heard him breathe in the scent of her hair.
 

It felt like coming home after a long, horrible day. 
A sense of relief.
 
Of completion.
  Penny closed her eyes as they filled with tears—not of sadness, no. 
But of joy.
  And she sighed quietly, her heart pounding to life for what seemed like the first time in a decade.
            “This is
exactly
what I was hoping for.”  She felt his breath against her ear.

Of course, he had to ruin it by reminding her that this was
not
what he deserved.  Penelope sighed as she slowly opened her eyes.  The moment had passed—she could see it in Tommy’s eyes as well.  The last ten years rushed over her, bringing with it a wave of emotion she found difficult to navigate. 

“You look great, Penny,”
  she
stared at him, her eyes suddenly guarded, her mind rushing.  “Won’t you say
something
?”

It took her several long moments to speak.  “What are you doing here?”  It was the most neutral ‘something’ she could manage.  Part of her wanted to lash out at him for waltzing back into her life after ten years of silence.  Another part wanted to hear that cocky little chuckle again—see the arrogant grin she’d always loved to hate.  And another part wanted to run away out of shame. 

It had been ten years, and what did she have to show for it? 
Especially in comparison to Tommy.
  Ten long years—Tommy had made a life. 

Penny had sacrificed one. 

No
, she thought to herself.  That wasn’t accurate.  She loved The Seaside.  It was her dream—her baby. 

“I came because…”  Tommy breathed in a haggard sounding breath, running his hand through his already-messy hair.  She could tell that he didn’t know how to reply, and it took him several moments to compose his response.  “I needed to get away.” 

“So you chose
Ravenside
, of all places?” 
she
crossed her arms over her chest so that she would be less tempted to pull him into another embrace.  The instinct was just so
natural
. 
Having him here, right in front of her, brought it all back.
 

“It’s quiet here.”

“You hated it here.” 

“That’s not true.”  But they both knew it was.  He’d hated it so much that he hadn’t even waited until graduation to take off across the country.  “I liked being here with you.”

“Oh, is that why you kept in touch so well?”  Penny couldn’t help the sarcastic tone in her voice. 

“I kept in touch.” 

“A few random phone calls scattered over the first few months you were gone don’t really count as ‘keeping in touch’, Tommy.”  She thought back to that first year Tommy had been gone.  She hadn’t thought it would be so difficult, not having him around.  It wasn’t as if they had been in love with each other or anything like that—but they had been friends.  They had relied on each other. 

Except that, when Tommy left, it felt like he’d taken a piece of her with him.  She had looked forward to hearing from him—to know how he was doing, what he was up to. 

He hadn’t called until a few weeks after he’d arrived in Los Angeles.  She had spent the first month worrying about him, having no idea where he was or what had happened.  He’d told her he would call as soon as he arrived. 

After the first phone call, another month or so passed by before the next.
 
And then two months before the next.
  And that was pretty much the last time she’d spoken to Tommy
Davidison
. 

She couldn’t forget the pain she’d felt at his abandonment.  No matter how hard she had tried over the years, the wound never healed. 

And now, having him stand right here in front of her—she felt as though it had been freshly torn open.

“Can’t we just…let the past be the past?  I just want my friend back.”  It almost sounded like a line from one of his movies.  She looked up to find him staring down at her with those intense blue eyes she’d never been able to forget. 

The bubble of laughter that escaped from her was biting.  “Our
past
made our present, Tommy.  Don’t you see?  Whatever we had then—that’s where it ended.  You and I aren’t
friends
anymore.  And we’ll never be friends again.  Too much time has gone by.  We’ve changed too much.”

“You haven’t even given me a chance.”

“That’s right, and I don’t intend to.”  At that, Penny stepped around him to begin the walk back to Amy’s. 

“That’s not fair,”
  he
was right on her heels. 

“Fair or not—it’s life.”  She thought about her cheating husband.  Had that been fair?  
And what about Tommy leaving her behind without so much as a second thought?
  Had that been fair? 

“I know all about how unfair life can be.”  His words brought her to a stop.  He was right, of course. 

Life had taken his mother from him before he’d even had the chance to know her.  Life had forced him to live with a man who never seemed to think his own son was good enough. 

“I just—I need a friend.  I need my Penny Lane.”  If she would have turned around, she would have seen the loneliness in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, but that song ended a long time ago.”  And with that, she resumed her walk.