Players (Lessons by Loki) (27 page)

“I asked about your past, it pissed you off, and you took it out on my body. There’s no mystery.”

“Your assessment isn’t wrong, but it’s overly simplified.”

It was time for her to choose. She would either let him back in or turn him away, but she needed to decide on a course and stick with it.
Who was she kidding? He’d tipped the scales in his favor when he campaigned for Chase. Loyalty was important to her, and Josiah was obviously loyal.

She stood and wal
ked toward him. He scooted over, making room for her beside him on the couch. “Help me understand.”

He stretched his arm out along the
top of the cushions, close to but not touching her. “Like you, I was raised by a stepparent. I never knew my biological mother.”

“The trophy wife was
your father’s number two?”

“Actually number three, but number two lasted less than a year.” He took a deep breath and looked past her as he went on
. “I was thirteen when Dad married Melissa. She might be in it for the money, but he really does love her.”

“Are they still married?”

“Yeah. We were never close, but it’s not like we’re feuding or anything.”

She knew the conflict involved a sister, but she didn’t want to rush him so she just sat quietly and waited for him to find the words.

“Melissa wanted half a dozen kids, but she had trouble getting pregnant. The time and energy they put into their quest for a baby only made me more rebellious. They already had a family. I didn’t understand why I wasn’t good enough.”

“You were still in your early teens?” He nodded. “That’s a hard time for any boy.”

“Melissa announced that she was pregnant at my fifteenth birthday party.” His jaw clenched then released. “I was furious.”

“That was really insensitive.”

“I don’t blame her. I was an asshole back then.”

“You were an adolescent trying to find acceptance.”

He shrugged and glanced into her eyes. “No, I was a rebellious pain in the ass who did everything in my power to make her miserable.”

She smiled
, but inside she was a twisted knot of uncertainty. Only something incredibly painful was this hard to talk about. “The baby was a girl?”

Again he nodded. “I expected to hate her, but she looked up at me with these huge dark eyes in this perfect little face. I
was mesmerized.”

Dread rose up around Katie as her mind raced on ahead. If he’d loved his baby sister, why did talking about her bring out something dark and dangerous? A chill dropped down her spine. It was obvious that this story didn’t have a happy ending.

“Melissa tried to keep us apart, but Lana loved me as much as I loved her. As soon as she could walk she followed me around like a shadow. My friends all thought it was hilarious, said I should knock up someone if I really wanted a kid that badly.”

Tears were gathering behind Katie’s lashes, so she furiously blinked them back. He still wouldn’t look at her, but his features foreshadowed immeasurable pain.

“They always hired a sitter, even when I was home. It was Melissa’s way of proving she didn’t trust me.” His expression grew darker, his gaze more distant. “It started as a robbery. There were three of them. The sitter heard a noise and thought my parents had returned. Lana was already in bed.”

Katie blinked and tears trailed down her cheeks. He seemed so alone. She moved closer and he wrapped his arm around her. “
They shot the sitter and the sound woke up Lana. I’d been listening to the stereo through headphones, but the crack cut through the music.”

She wrapped her arm around his chest and pressed in tight against his side. Tears were flowing freely now, but she fought back her sobs, not wanting to add to his pain.

“I heard Lana crying and then another shot.” He shuddered and then fell silent. They held each other for a long time, but he wasn’t quite finished. His voice trembled with grief as he went on. “All I saw was their backs as they ran out the front door. Lanna was sprawled facedown in the hall.” He trembled and his voice grew hoarse as he forced out the next few words. “Those cowardly fuckers shot a three-year-old in the back.” He sobbed, too torn up to vocalize his pain.

She wrapped both arms around him and
held him close as they cried it out together.

A long time later he spoke into her hair, unable to release her.
“I thought she was dead, but she whimpered when I touched her so I ran and called 9-1-1. The dispatcher talked me through CPR, but Lana bled out long before the ambulance got there.”

“I am so sorry, Josiah.” She eased back enough to look into his eyes. “I can’t even imagine something so horrible.”

“Which is why I don’t talk about it. Our security cameras provided the cops with what they needed to catch them. Life in prison wasn’t enough if you ask me, but at least they’re off the streets.”

“Do you have a picture of her?”

After drying his eyes with his hand, he dug his phone out of his pocket. “This is Lana.”

He turned the phone toward her and Katie’s heart broke all over again. The little girl was
enchanting, dark curly hair, large dark eyes and a smile that lit up her entire face. “She’s beautiful. I hope you remember her just like this, happy and full of life.”

“I try to, but
I watched her die. That image is hard to replace.” He put the phone away and pushed to his feet, wiping his eyes on the back of his hand.

“Thank you.” She stood as well.

“For what?”

“Trusting me.”

They were close enough to touch, but he didn’t reach for her. “I promised I’d tell you and now I have.” He started to leave and then paused halfway to the door. “We miss you like crazy, Katie-cat. Please, let us try again.” He didn’t wait for her answer as he turned and left the house.

* * * * *

Katie spent the next two hours pretending to watch TV, but the events Josiah had described haunted her. He’d opened his heart to love and the door hadn’t been slammed in his face, it had been ripped off the hinges and forced through a chipper/shredder. No wonder he pushed people away. He felt the need to be in control at all times because he refused to be vulnerable or helpless as he’d been when his sister was murdered.

The doorbell rang and she looked at the mantel clock. It was almost midnight. There were only two people she knew who would risk a visit at such an
inappropriate hour. All she wore was a tank top and shorts, but her bathrobe was upstairs. Unless it was Chase or Josiah, she wouldn’t open the door.

She looked through the peephole and found Chase fidgeting on the front porch. Easing open the door, she
fought back a smile. He didn’t need to know how happy she was to see him. “It’s a little late for a visit.”

“Sorry. I still don’t have your phone number.”

Eased by his hesitant smile, she opened the door for him. “What’s up?”

He stepped just inside the door, but no farther. Rather like Josiah had done.
“What did you and Josiah talk about? He locked himself in his office and drank himself into oblivion. I had to use the security camera to make sure he was still breathing.”

She wanted to run across the street and pull him back into her arms.
As upset as she was by the story, she should have realized Josiah would be in need of comfort. “He told me about Lana.”

Chase
nodded. “I thought that might be it. There are only two things I could think of that would have upset him this badly.”

“If Lana’s death is one, what’s the other?”

“If you’d rejected him.”

“I tried that. It didn’t work.” She crossed her arms over her chest.
This awkwardness was unbearable. She wanted to touch him, to touch
them
. “Are you sure he’s all right? Should we go check on him?”

“He’s passed out
on the couch. He’ll be fine in the morning.”

“He’ll be hung-over in the morning.” This was obviously an excuse. Why didn’t he just tell her he missed her like Josiah had done?

“Can we sit down for a bit? I’d like to talk to you.”

She swept her hand toward the couch and they ended up in exactly the same place she
and Josiah had sat earlier. “So talk,” she prompted when he just stared at her.

“I’m sorry we hurt you. That was never our intention.”

It was the wrong thing to say. She didn’t want to fight, but she needed complete honesty from both of them. “Then what was your intention?”

“We’d both been curious about you, but you didn’t seem like the type to enjoy our hedonistic games. We thought we’d flirt a little, give you some attention and see if you responded to either of us.”

“But I responded to both and proposed a game of my own?”

“I tried to call off the bet right after the party. Josiah agreed to end it after his date with you.
All it took was one date and we each realized you didn’t deserve to be manipulated like that.”

It would have been easier to hold on to her grudge if she hadn’t manipulated them too.
Unfortunately, that was the one aspect of this tangle destined to remain unspoken. She couldn’t tell them about Loki. They’d never believe her. “Then the bet was over before my ‘lessons’ began?”

“Yes. None of that had anything to do with the bet.”

“I appreciate your honesty.” She slanted him a smile. “Even if it’s almost too late.”

“Almost?”
He latched on to the word like a lifeline. “Does that mean you’ll let us start over, pretend none of this happened?”

“I don’t want to pretend none of it happened.
Most of it was way too much fun.”

He pounced on her without warning. Suddenly she was on her back and he was on top of her.
“God how I missed you.” He swooped down and claimed her mouth, but the kiss gentled as soon as flesh met flesh.

She rearranged her legs, making room for him between her
thighs. His tongue teased her lips until she opened, welcoming his aggressive tenderness. She wasn’t struggling, but he held her down as if he were afraid she’d slip away.

After only a few deep kisses, he locked his elbows and pulled his chest off her. “We can’t do this without Josiah. It wouldn’t be fair.”

She nodded, reluctantly agreeing. “Then you better go.”

He crawled off her with a groan and helped her sit. “Will you have dinner with us tomorrow
night?”

“Let’s see how Josiah feels. I want you both strong and healthy and ready to please.”

His eyes narrowed as lust surged within his gaze. “Maybe just a—”

She planted her foot in the middle of his chest. “G
o home. I want our first time together to be
together
.”

“You’re right.” He turned toward the door. “That doesn’t make it any easier to walk.”

“Wait.” She scrambled up off the couch. “Give me your phone.”

He looked slightly muddled, but didn’t argue. He pulled the phone from his pocket and handed it to her.

After adding her information to his contact list, she tossed the phone back to him. “Now you have my phone number.”

“Finally.”
He chuckled then ambled out the door.

She waited until he was gone before she closed
and locked the door, not trusting herself anywhere near him. Tomorrow night had never seemed so far away.

“Are you going to forgive me too?”

She turned from the door and found Loki sitting on the couch. “I haven’t decided yet. I know you’ve been spying on me. Gran told me you never left.”

“
I set this in motion. I needed to see how things turned out. Make sure you—”

“
You lied to me! If they called off the bet before my lessons started, you had to have known about it.”

He had the decency to look ashamed. “If I’d told you the bet was over, you wouldn’t have had the strength to walk away. Which means they wouldn’t have learned their lesson
and the rest would have been in vain. We had too much invested for me to stand back and watch it all fell apart.”

“Instead you just watched me fall apart.”

“I’m sorry about lying to you. I won’t make excuses for my choice. I’m truly sorry.”

She wanted to be angry, hated lying more than anything. But Loki had a valid point. Believing the bet was still active had given her the strength to confront them.
At least Loki hadn’t denied it. He’d made a choice and she’d suffered because of it. Now she needed to decide if her pain had been worth the result. Josiah and Chase would never play their hateful game again. That was what this entire mission was about. Wasn’t it?

After a long, tense pause, she asked,
“Is this what you had planned all along? Were we supposed to end up together?”

“That isn’t the way this works. Yes, I stir up trouble and occasionally give people a push in one direction or another. Still, I don’t directly influence the decisions that are made. It’s much more fun to watch things play out
on their own. Humans are more unpredictable than I could ever be.”