Playboy Doctor to Doting Dad (18 page)

Abby stretched out her legs into the sunlight filtering in through the blinds that neither of them had thought to close during the night. She smiled at the gentle aches in her muscles. All her muscles. Every last one of them. What a night. Rolling her head sideways, she focused on the man who’d spent hours giving her enough pleasure to last a lifetime. It still wasn’t enough. Her smile stretched. Brazen hussy.

‘God, woman, if you purr any louder the neighbours will be calling the noise patrol.’

She laughed out loud and kicked her feet in the air. ‘Bit late for that, don’t you think?’

Kieran’s grin grew. ‘You…um …we were a bit loud at times.’

‘I bet you get some interesting looks when you leave the apartment today.’ Her stomach rumbled, loudly. Her eyes met his, and they burst out laughing.

‘There’s just no keeping you quiet, is there?’

‘Try feeding me. That should work.’ She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the football-field-sized bed. ‘Food. That’s exactly what I need right now. I’m starving.’

‘Must be all that exercise during the night.’ Kieran followed her off her side of the bed, no doubt thinking it was quicker than moving back across to his side. ‘Let’s hit the shower then go over the road to a café for a cooked breakfast. I fancy bacon and eggs.’

‘And hash browns, tomatoes, mushrooms, sausages.’

‘That hungry, eh?’

‘Did I mention toast?’ She dug through her tiny handbag for her phone. ‘I’d better check in with Dad.’

Kieran chuckled. ‘You’re how old? And you’re checking in with Max?’

She slipped his shirt from the night before over her head. ‘Think I’d better explain that I’ll be a little while yet. He might be expecting me to pick up the kids.’

But her father seemed pleased she’d stayed out overnight.

‘Don’t go getting any ideas, Dad. We had a great time and neither of us wanted to drive home after the party.’ She crossed her fingers at the little white fib.

‘Sure thing, love.’ Was that an I-know-exactly-what-you’ve-been-up-to smile in his voice? Couldn’t be. This was her father.

He was still talking and she struggled to concentrate. ‘Everything’s in hand here. I’m going to take the youngsters to the beach later. Steph and Andrew are coming with us. Why don’t you two join us after your breakfast?’

‘Sounds like a plan.’ Steph and Andrew going to the beach with Dad and the kids? Those two seemed to be getting very domestic these days, and spending more time with the family. What was going on? Had she missed something? Could Steph be settling down?

After hanging up, Abby found the bathroom, where Kieran was already under the jets of hot water, soaping that wonderful body of his.

He watched with hungry eyes as she drew her shirt off. When she stepped into the shower, his hands caught her breasts. ‘Beautiful.’ His fingers kneaded the soft flesh. ‘So beautiful.’

Their shower took a lot longer than normal, and mostly had nothing to do with getting clean.

‘I can’t finish this.’ Abby pushed her plate to one side.

Kieran rolled his eyes at the one sausage left. ‘A rugby
prop wouldn’t have done any better. I’ll be surprised if you can get off your chair any time in the next hour.’

‘A gentleman wouldn’t say things like that.’ She grinned, totally at ease with the huge meal she’d just devoured.

‘Guess what?’

‘Yeah, I know, you’re not one.’ Not quite true. Mr Playboy was very definitely a gentleman most of the time. She squirmed as memories of the party crept back. Kieran had been very attentive all evening, making sure she always had a drink when she’d wanted one, holding her supper plate for her. Yes, but playboys did that. It was part of their charisma to be so helpful. But he’d turned down all those offers to dance with just about every female at the party. He’d danced with Hamish’s wife but it would’ve been bad manners not to dance with his hostess.

No, for all she’d seen, Kieran had wanted to spend the time with her. If anyone had been out of line, it had been her. She’d accepted every invitation to hit the dance floor that had come her way. How had he felt about that? Had she hurt him by not staying by his side all night? Time for damage control. ‘Thank you for such a wonderful time last night, all of it. I can’t think when I last partied so hard.’

‘You don’t go out much, do you?’ Kieran watched her through hooded eyes, giving nothing away. ‘Tell me why. Is it because of your ex-fiancé?’

Talk about grabbing her attention. ‘That’s old hat. You don’t really want to know.’ Why did he have to ask about the man who’d hurt her so badly? Today of all days.

‘Yeah, I do. I want to know a whole heap of things about you. I’m really interested. So, why didn’t you marry him?’

‘Because I found out I wasn’t the only female sharing his bed. Even my bridesmaid enjoyed his favours.’

Kieran wrapped her hand in his. ‘That must have hurt terribly.’

‘It did.’ But it wasn’t hurting half as much as usual. Had she finally begun to let it go? Because of Kieran? ‘I didn’t know a thing about his philandering until the day I caught him with my bridesmaid a week before the wedding. After that people at work were quick to tell me about all the other indiscretions.’

‘He worked at the hospital?’

‘Dr Phillip de Hendez, general surgeon.’

‘The
Dr de Hendez? The one who tarnished his reputation trying to cover up a mistake in the operating theatre by pushing the blame onto his house surgeon?’

‘The very same one. I see the hospital gossip mill is still working on that one.’ A touch of bitterness coloured her voice. She’d have hoped by now that anything to do with Phillip would’ve been forgotten.

‘From what I hear, it did the hospital a lot of damage. He was the reason I was so rigorously checked out before I got the nod to come.’ He still held her hand, and now he squeezed it gently. ‘Looks like you’re better off without him.’

Oh, yes, heaps better off. Phillip’s ego had always needed stroking, bolstering. At the time she hadn’t realised she wouldn’t be good enough for him. ‘You’re right.’

He changed the subject again. ‘You know something? I had a lot of fun last night, too.’ Those all-seeing eyes held her gaze. ‘From the moment I picked you up the night became special. I admit to being blinded by the sight of you in that dress. My driving may have been very erratic, for all I know.’

The dress she still wore. Who took extra clothing to a party? ‘Yeah, you were a bit fast.’ On all accounts. Right down to that morning’s shower. And she’d been with him all the way.

Now she wanted more of what they’d shared last night. Not just today, but every day. She wanted Kieran in her life, full time. Like that was ever going to happen. In the end she’d
only get hurt. And sooner rather than later as he would be heading home. She should be distancing herself from him, not getting involved. But it had been wonderful.

Glancing at her watch, she sighed. ‘I probably should be getting home.’

‘That’s a shame.’ But he stood up and held her chair for her. ‘I’ll have to talk to Steph and Charlie and make sure they look after the children more so you can have other fun.’

The sizzle under her skin began to fade. ‘Kieran, I might have had a wonderful time with you but I don’t want anyone else in my life at the moment. Neither do the kids.’ Some time between the dancing and the sheets she’d fallen in love with him. Or had that happened long before, two years ago, and only now was she admitting it? Relief settled over her. She would never marry Kieran but at least she could admit to loving him. Sadness replaced her relief. Was she doomed to unrequited love? Yes, without doubt.

‘Abby …’ He hesitated then went on, ‘I’m going back to Ireland soon.’ Caution filled his eyes, quickly followed by guilt.

Did he really feel bad about leaving the children? She doubted his guilt had anything to do with her. ‘I know that.’

He looked desperate for her to understand. ‘Coming here has turned out to be the best decision I’ve made in a long time. I needed to get to know Olivia. She’s my family and I’ve let her down badly.’ He paused, struggling with something deep inside. She could see it in his eyes, in his stance.

‘Go on,’ she said quietly, knowing she wouldn’t like what she heard but needing to get it out in the open.

‘Then there’s Seamus. He’s awesome. I love him. And that’s been a revelation. I will help out with him the same way I do with Olivia.’

‘Financially.’ The word was sour in her mouth.

‘I hope you’re not expecting me to stay on, to be closer to you and the children. I can’t do that.’

Well, she might not understand why he’d want to walk away from his son, but she couldn’t say she hadn’t been warned. He’d always made it absolutely clear where he stood on the subject of families. His Christmas Eve apology for making it so hard for her hadn’t changed his stance.

‘Can’t? Or won’t?’ Her stomach clenched uncomfortably. The wonderful morning had fallen off track. Their camaraderie of the last hours was being tested, and failing. She’d always known Kieran had no intention of staying and she shouldn’t have expected anything different. But for a few hours she’d forgotten all that and had allowed herself to dream. What a fool she’d turned out to be.

Kieran was good for a one-night fling, maybe even a few more nights over the coming weeks, but there’d never be any more from him. He had warned her. Told her about his commitment phobia, explained why he didn’t want or feel capable of being a full-time parent, let alone someone’s husband.

The previous evening she’d thought she could do the one-night-stand thing, but she’d been fooling herself. No way could she walk away from what had happened between them and pretend her heart was intact. Not when she loved him.

Kieran said nothing as they walked back across the road to his apartment block garage. He pinged the lock on the four-wheel drive. Back to the practical vehicle. Her date was over. Abby suddenly felt stupid, shabby even. Dressed in last night’s party dress, it was obvious for all to see that she hadn’t been home. It hadn’t mattered until now. Immediately she wanted to be at home, dressed in mother-of-two underwear, comfortable shorts and a baggy T. Cinderella back in the wardrobe.

Why had she fallen in love with Kieran? Another man
who liked to have a good time but did not want to put down any roots? What was wrong with her that she could only love men who couldn’t love her back the way she wanted, needed, to be loved?

I
NSIDE
the vehicle Kieran leaned his head back and sighed. ‘I haven’t made you any promises that I can’t keep.’

‘That’s true.’

Two very bleak words he was responsible for. He needed to clear the air before the situation got worse. They’d had a wonderful time and he did not want that to be lost because of any misunderstanding.

‘Abby, do you trust me to do the right thing by my son?’

Silence hung between them. Her hands fisted in her lap. Her eyes seemed glued to something beyond the vehicle.

Hurt stabbed him hard beneath his ribs. Why couldn’t she trust him? He hadn’t let her down since he’d come to Nelson. Had he? He couldn’t prevent the hurt ringing in his voice. ‘You’ve answered without a word.’

Her words came slowly, as though she was thinking her way through a minefield. ‘I do believe you’ll try. You’ll probably stay in touch regularly, but that’s not enough. The way I see it, you’re doing to Seamus what your father did to you. Leaving him behind. You mightn’t be cruel and undermine his attempts to do things, but he’s not going to know you. You’re not going to be there when he hurts, when he asks what the moon is made of, when he wants to learn to drive.’

‘You don’t pull any punches, do you?’ he gasped, reeling
from the intensity of her statement. Where had the soft woman who’d spent the night in his arms gone?

‘I just want what’s best for you all,’ she whispered.

So they were on the same playing field. ‘So do I.’ He took a steadying breath. ‘What happens when I hurt Seamus? How do you explain to him that his father had to go away because he failed to be a good daddy?’

She’d seek him out and throttle him, that’s what she’d do.

‘I haven’t got a clue. I can’t even get it through to you that you’re already a good father. Like me, you have to learn as you go along. Why won’t you see that?’ She saw everything in black and white.

‘Abby, sweetheart, you’re a novice when it comes to this. My father worked at it for most of my life to get me to see things his way. Like water dripping on rock, eventually the rock wears away. Take a young child and keep telling him he’s useless and he begins to believe that. Take that child as a young man and blame him for everything that goes wrong in their family and it becomes real.’

She turned, and the sympathy he saw in those emerald eyes nearly drowned him. But he didn’t want sympathy, he wanted understanding. He needed her to accept he knew what he was doing.

But, of course, she didn’t. This was Abby, after all. The woman who believed in families and happy-ever-afters. Although he had to admit those hadn’t come her way very often.

She said, ‘That’s the most terrible thing I’ve heard, but you’re nothing like that. Already your son loves you, because of how you’ve treated him with care and love.’

A knife turned in his heart.

‘Your niece loves you.’ A tear rolled down her cheek.

There was more. He just knew it. Except he didn’t know what that was.

And Abby wasn’t saying.

Kieran stomped hard on the accelerator. If only he had the sports car in his hands. After dropping Abby off, he’d turned in the opposite direction from the city, taking the main highway south, further out into the countryside. He needed speed to shake the shock out of his system that had slammed him between the eyes.

He loved Abby.

He gripped the steering-wheel harder to stop the tremors racking his body.

How the hell had this happened?

He loved her and the despair he’d seen in her eyes rode with him all the way, mocking him. He’d never promised her anything he couldn’t give. But now he had to deal with this new development.

New? Get real.
He’d probably loved her since that night in Dublin. If he’d ever admit it. How could he have missed it? He jerked the vehicle around a sharp corner. He’d been blind to what had been right before his eyes because all his attention had been focused on the children.