Play Me (19 page)

I watched the shadow against the opposite wall as Ryan walked forward. He stumbled, groaned and then started pacing back and forth.
I listened as he mumbled to himself, as I fed Maddox.

When I finished, I walked into the living room and found him shivering on the couch. His hands were interlaced in his dirty hair. The once vibrant tanned skin I loved about him was washed out and pale. He was skinny, too skinny.

“Where have you been?” I asked.

His head snapped up. The same gorgeous blue eyes I loved so much were black. Black and hungry for something I knew I couldn’t give him. “I need it,” he whispered, rocking back and forth.

It didn’t look like he was even looking at me but right through me. “Need what?” I asked but I knew the answer.

“I need it,” he growled out. Holding his hand outward, he let a handful of hair float to the ground.

I gasped and held Maddox closer to me. But he didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything but drugs. About anything but his fucking self.

He shot up and shoved the table across the room. The strength that used to hold me at night. Those big arms had been my home. Not anymore. Everything had vanished. Every last amount of hope for him. For us had evaporated.

He turned to me but it wasn’t him. Because Ryan had disappeared a long time ago.

***

“Roxy?”

God
. I can’t feel that hurt again. I won’t. Weston’s willing to try. To lose himself in me like I’m falling into him. “Roxy?”

This madness has to stop. Ryan can’t come back and ruin the only thing I’ve had in years.

“Roxy!”

“What?”

Erica frowns and wraps her arm around my shoulder. “Are you really okay?”

I nod, drop my hand from the clothes rack and hug Erica. “I am. I’m just so scared, Erica.”
She nods into my shoulder and rubs her hand over my back. “We’re going to be fine. Ryan will get the hint and leave.”

I don’t correct her because it’s no one’s problem but my own. “So, you like this one?”

Erica scrunches up her nose. “No, keep looking.”

After three hours in the mall in Texarkana we drive back to Magnolia with a few bags in the backseat. Erica drops me off at the house.

I dig my keys out of my pocket but stop mid-step when I see the envelope taped to my front door. All the hair on the back of my neck stands on end as I stare at the four small letters on the front.
Roxy.

Slowly, I reach up and tear it from the door. The envelope is full of one hundred dollars bills. A silent cry leaves my mouth. This can’t be real? Does he think he can buy his way back into my life?

Wiping the tears from my cheek, I unlock the door and drop my things on the floor. Bending my knees, I let myself fall to the floor. My throat is on fire. Breath seems so close but far away.

“Roxanne.”

The chilling sound of his voice still frightens me. I jerk up and crawl backwards until my back is pressed against the door. He’s sitting in our recliner. That recliner I took from our apartment in Texas. Both elbows are resting on his knees and his hands are interlocked in front of him.

Those blue eyes settle on me, but they look like him. Not the monster in the hotel. And that’s the problem. One minute he’s fine and the next he is gone.

“Why are you here?” I whisper. “Why are you doin’ this to us?”

The hood over his face slides backwards as he stands up. Every emotion I’ve ever felt for him slams into me. He’s filled out. Still skinny but gaining weight. He swallows and his Adam’s apple bobs in his throat.

“Why?” I whisper again. I force myself to look down. Looking into those eyes I fell so hard into isn’t as easy as I thought.

“You left me,” he whispers, voice deep and demanding. “You fucking left me!” he shouts.

I jump and bring my knees to my chest. “You’re an addict, Ryan. I had to leave. I was scared for my fucking life.”

He laughs, a high pitch hysterical sound. “Look at me,” he screams. He takes two large steps toward me and drops down to his knees. His scent hits me and tears build in my eyes. “I would never hurt you!” he points at my chest.

I shake my head back and forth. “You abandoned us Ryan, not the other way around.”

He presses his head to my knees and begins to shake back and forth. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he continues to repeat over and over while he shakes. “Please take me back, baby,” he cries. “I want my son back. I need you.” He begins to claw at me.

My phone begins to vibrate on the floor next to me but he chucks it behind us. “Don’t you answer that,” he warns. “I need you. It took me three months to find you but I did. And now I’m ready to have my family. I’m ready. I’m starting to use less and less. I’m trying, Roxanne.”

What?
A numb, hot redness takes over me. “What about the two years before that Ryan? You can’t pick when you take care of your family. It’s either you do or don’t. It’s as simple as that.”

He grabs my chin and forces me to look at him. “He is not Maddox’s father, Roxanne. He will never be his father.” He begins to mumble fiercely underneath his breath. “Never!”

Tears roll down my cheeks and he kisses them away. Like nothing ever changed. That the past two years hadn’t happened. I shove against his chest but he shoves both hands against me and forces me down to the floor. “Did you miss me?” he begins to mutter as he tries to grab my clothes.

Panic sets in. The almost rational Ryan isn’t here anymore. He’s gone. I struggle against him but manage to get my arm out from underneath him. I hit his back over and over in the same spot in his ribs.

He growls and jumps off of me giving me enough time to get up. Before I can take one step he grabs my leg and sends me falling face first onto the floor.

My fingers curl into the carpet as he pulls me back toward him. With the breath I have, I begin to scream. If the nosy next-door neighbor is worth anything it’s calling the fucking police.
Don’t let me down, Mrs. Rhodes.

Ryan crawls on top of me and begins to cover my mouth with his hand. I kick the furniture and the walls until Ryan slugs me in the cheek. Stars form around my vision and my head becomes dizzy.

“Shh,” Ryan coos before unzipping my jeans. I feel myself reach to stop him but he shoves me back down. My head hits the ground again and vomit threatens to come up my throat.

I feel my panties slide down my thighs and then off of each of my feet. I open my eyes and see Ryan inhale into them, and then slip them into his pocket.

No. No. No. This cannot happen. Please, someone.
I muster up my last ounce of strength and jab my knee into his crouch. He howls but falls on top of me, weighing me down for so long I can hardly see.

Then I hear the sirens.
Sirens. A smile forms on my face and I close my eyes. I hear Ryan rushing through the house and then the backdoor slams. I stare at the ceiling of my apartment until I see EMT’s hovering above me.

***

The hospital released me three hours later. The cut on my cheek didn’t need any stitches and since he didn’t get to actually rape me no medical attention was needed. After the police questioned me, I was free to go.

Turns out Mrs. Rhodes did call the police. I knew she would. I’m surprised she hadn’t called in on Weston and me at night.

Weston. They made him stay out of the room because he was screaming. At everyone. Every time I winced. Or cried. He would cuss some doctor out for
not
doing their job. Erica had to slap the shit out of him to get him to calm down.

That was the best part of the night so far.

He is sitting in the waiting room with his elbows on his knees, pulling on his hair when I walk out.

“Stupid bastard,” Erica mumbles.

I laugh and Weston’s head shoots up. “He must be part dog,” she whispers.

I bark out a laugh and Weston furrows his brow. That hard jaw is clenched so tightly I’m afraid the bone will break. He storms toward me, grabs me underneath my legs and swings me up to an infant’s cradle.

Erica starts cussing him out, trying to keep up with his long strides. We’re outside and halfway to his truck before Erica catches up. “Stop, Weston! What the hell is your problem?”

He drops me and turns around to stare at Erica. “Are you serious? My goddamn girlfriend was attacked and almost raped tonight, Erica! So excuse me if I’m not Mary Fucking Poppins!”

She narrows her gaze and I see the fight coming already. “Well, Weston. If you knew anything, treating her like she’s three isn’t going to help her get over it. It’s going to make her depressed.”

Oh, God.

Weston shakes his head back and forth. “Get out of my face, Erica.”

“Oh, you wanna go, Garrison?”

Jesus Christ.

“Shut up!” I scream. “Both of you. I want to go home. I don’t want to stand in the damn parking lot and argue. Please! I want to go home.”

Erica whips her blonde hair off of her shoulder and crosses her arms over her chest. “Call me if you need me.” She sneers at Weston before walking back to her car.

Weston turns toward me and my breath catches in my throat. Tears coat his brown eyes, and the tip of his lips quiver.

He steps forward, curls his hand over the back of my neck and forces my lips up to his. “I’ve never been more fuckin’ scared than I was today. When Erica called me—I swear I wanted to vomit. All the anger in me manifested into one big aggressive orb. But then came the sadness. A bitter hurt. Not only did he try and take what’s mine,” he points toward his chest but runs his lips against mine, “but he tried to hurt her.” I taste his tears in my mouth. “And I’ve never felt so much love for one person in my entire life.”

If my heart could swell and pop it would. Weston growls and takes the kiss from soft and innocent to hot and demanding. But before I can latch onto him, he pulls back and guides me back to the truck. “Let’s go home.”

***

“Did they catch him?”

Weston never stops rubbing his thumbs into my shoulder. The hot water from the shower beats down on us. I arch my back when Weston hits the spot and I move my hands—that I’m bracing myself on—up the shower wall.

Weston steps forward. I feel his erection pressed against my ass and I close my eyes. “No,” he whispers.

Of course not.

“He was released on bail today. Was he strung out?”

I roll my neck back and Weston lowers his hands to my mid-back and starts to make slow circles. “At first I didn’t think so. He was calm. Then he started to freak out. He said you weren’t Maddox’s father. And then—,” I trail off because I know he doesn’t want to hear that.

He groans and lowers his hands to my lower back. He presses into the sore bones and I arch my back further, my ass brushing up against him again. He growls and rests his mouth against my ear. The scruff from his jaw tickles a path against my neck. “Stop doin’ that, sweetheart. Or I’m not going to be able to control myself.”

Why would he want to?
I crane my face to the side and lift an eyebrow. “Who said I didn’t want it?”

He presses himself against me. “You were almost raped, Roxanne. I didn’t figure this was the best time.”

Oh
. I turn around to face him and watch his eyes search mine. Each hand on either side of me. I reach forward and wrap my hand around his cock. He growls and steps closer to me. “Don’t fuckin’ tempt me.”

I squeeze harder and begin to stroke him. He stares at me through the water as I lower to my knees. Excitement is in his eyes but he doesn’t go for it, not yet. “I don’t want you to do that if you don’t want to. I won’t care if we get out of this shower and go straight to bed. Straight to sleep, Roxy. I’ll be here in the morning either way.”

I nod. “I know.” I press the tip to my mouth and slowly trace my tongue over it. He pushes himself forward. “I want to taste you,” I whisper. The dirty talk is starting to come easier and easier. “Please.”

“Fuck,” he grunts out. He holds the back of my head and slides himself into my mouth. I clutch the base and move my head up and down in a rhythm he provides. “Jesus Christ,” he pants, pushing himself further into me. “God. Let me feed you, baby,” he whispers.

Wetness builds in-between my legs. Nothing is sexier than seeing that look on his face. The look I know I made. He buries his cock in my mouth until he hits the back of my throat. Over and over. I take him deep and pull out, stroking him with my hands.

“Goddammit,” he groans and pulls me off of him. His cock slides out of my mouth and makes a ‘pop’ sound. Weston’s eyes grow wide. “You’re really fuckin’ good at that.”

I start to stand but Weston gently guides me down to the shower floor and covers me with him. “Tell me it’s only me,” he whispers, reaching down to slide his index finger against my slit.

“Only you.”

He makes a low humming sound of satisfaction. “I’m going to fuck every trace of him off of you,” he hoarsely whispers, dragging his teeth against my throat. He shoves his finger inside of me and I moan.

“Come on my fuckin hand, baby,” Weston whispers. “Show me how much you want me.”

The pace quickens. He slides another finger inside of me and presses his thumb against my clit. My body quakes underneath him. “God I love how responsive you are.” Shortly after, I arch my back and scream out his name.

Wide-eyed, he bites his lip while he watches me orgasm on his fingers. When he sees I’m coming down, he slips his fingers out and slides both of them into his mouth to suck my taste off of him.

Hot white need fills me. Hungry, I reach up and pull him down on top of me. He knows what I want and doesn’t make me wait to get it. He slides his dick inside of me, and I widen for his width. “Goddamn—tight, tight, tight—fucking tight,” he mumbles against my lips.

Rocking back and forth, he moves until I’m comfortable with him. And then he slams into me. I cry out but he muffles it with his finger. I wrap my lips around it and suck. He slams harder as I take him to the back of my throat.