Play Maker (13 page)

I
didn’t know
who was more excited about the limo, Mikey or my mom. Or Maya. In fact, everyone seemed pretty thrilled when the shiny black vehicle pulled up to the driveway. And as much as I tried not to be impressed, when we got in and Doctor Who was playing on the TV inside and the ice bucket was filled with ice cream and soda, I couldn’t help but smile.

It was amazing watching Los Angeles speed past us from the windows of the limo. Maya wanted to do the thing they do in the movies and stick her head out the top, but I convinced her to wait until we weren’t moving. The last thing I wanted was for my best friend to swallow a bug at 65 mph. Or to encourage Mikey to do the same.

I was glad she was with us, though surprised when I had gotten the text from James telling me he had included a ticket for her. Had he really remembered her from the bar? Either way, I was really looking forward to an evening with my favorite people, even if it did involve sports.

It wasn’t that I was against sports or watching sports, it was just that I had never really done it before. The limo took us to Pasadena, where the StubHub stadium was lit up and full of excited soccer fans. Or football fans depending on who you asked. I remembered how offended James had gotten when I teased him about being a football player. He was cute when he got riled up. Well, he was cute all the time. And that was the problem.

I couldn’t stop thinking about how great it had felt waking up with him the other morning. How warm and comfortable I had felt. How safe. Honestly, it was unnerving how nice it had been. Because I really, really didn’t want it to be nice. I didn’t want it to be anything. I wanted to be able to walk away from him, no strings attached, but every time we saw each other, the strings connecting us seemed to multiply.

I glanced over at my brother who was taking it all in with wide eyes. I really hoped he didn’t get too attached to anything that happened tonight – and that included James. He had a hard time letting go of people. It’s probably why he was so eager to let my mom back into our lives. He had been waiting for her all along. He always waited for the people who left. I just hoped he wouldn’t consider James to be someone worth waiting for. Because this guy was not sticking around.

I chewed my gum nervously as we pulled up to the VIP entrance, suddenly self-conscious of what I was wearing. James had said that casual was fine, but I had on my best pair of jeans and my nicest shirt. Maya had worn tight pants, heels and a tube top. She looked great, but I was starting to feel a little underdressed. Should I have worn a dress, like my mom did? Who knew what the rest of the people in the VIP section were wearing? I was suddenly nervous all of us were going to stick out like sore thumbs.

We got our VIP badges, which Mikey couldn’t stop staring at. Even if we didn’t get to meet any of the actors from Doctor Who, I could tell he was going to be talking about this night for months. But still, he kept a firm grip on his backpack where he had carefully put his most precious Doctor Who paraphernalia in hopes that we’d see Nine or Ten.

The game was starting in a half hour. We were led to the VIP area passing concession stand after concession stand. I was glad that Mikey had eaten some ice cream in the limo and I had grabbed a bottle of soda for him to have later, because I took one look at the prices of popcorn and various other treats and felt my wallet tighten. Hopefully he could wait to eat and we could get some In-N-Out after the game.

But when we got to the VIP area there was an enormous table piled high with every treat imaginable. Popcorn, candy, pretzels, everything. There was even an indoor grill with hot dogs and burgers. I was a bit overwhelmed by it all, so I was relieved when I spotted a familiar face at the other side of the room.

Ethan waved and came over, a smile on his face. But that smile froze when he saw Maya. I glanced back at my friend and saw that she was wearing an identical look. What was going on? Did they know each other? I tried to remember if I had ever introduced them.

“Hi.” Ethan leaned over and gave me a hug. “Glad you could make it.”

“How could I say no?” I gestured to the room. “This is amazing.”

“Oh. Yeah.” He looked around as if he hadn’t even noticed. But then again, I guess this was pretty standard for him. And for James as well. Something I had to keep reminding myself. Different worlds, remember?

“This is my mom, and my brother, Mikey.” I brought them around and both shook Ethan’s hand.

“You’re the Doctor Who fan, right?” Ethan asked, smiling at Mikey.

But Mikey was so overwhelmed by everything that he could only nod. I felt his hand in mine and I gave him a firm squeeze.

“And this is my friend, Maya. From the bar.” I said, even though it was pretty clear that they knew each other.

“Oh yes, you look familiar.” Maya said, a smile playing on her lips. “Didn’t I recommend the waffles to you the other night?”

Oh. Maya owed me a story and the look I gave her made that clear.

“Uh. Yes?” Ethan looked a bit flustered.

“How were they?”

“Best waffles I’ve ever had,” Ethan said immediately.

“Damn right,” Maya responded. There was a moment of silence. I couldn’t tell if my best friend was upset or amused. Sometimes her face was impossible to read. I could tell that Ethan was having a hard time figuring it out as well. I decided to help him out.

“James sent over an extra ticket for her,” I told them both.

Now Maya was the one who looked confused and Ethan’s face was the one that was unreadable.

“That limey bastard,” he muttered, sounding so totally British it was adorable. Even Maya couldn’t help but giggle. Her face relaxed into a smile.

“Come on,” she said, slipping her arm through his, “you can show us to our seats.”

He let out a breath of relief and offered his other arm to me. “My pleasure.”

We followed him out of the indoor VIP area to the seats reserved for us in James’ section. The view was amazing. We looked out onto the field, close enough to read the nametags on the umpires. Were they called umpires in soccer? I asked Ethan, who shook his head.

“Referees,” he corrected.

When we got to our seats, there were brand new jerseys lying across the backs of the plush chairs. One for each of us, with James’ number on the back.

“He doesn’t know I got them,” Ethan confessed with a grin. “He’ll be very embarrassed if you wear them.”

“Well, then.” I immediately pulled mine over my shirt. Of course, the minute I did that, I noticed a group of women sitting together in another player’s section. All of them were dressed to the nines, their fingers and earlobes decked out in diamonds and jewels. A few of them glanced my way and gave me a look I knew far too well. The look that said I was not one of them and I never would be.

I tugged at the jersey, feeling self-conscious. It was a little big, but Ethan gave me a thumbs up and I felt a little better. I turned to find Mikey struggling with his. I helped him pull it down over his shirt, revealing an enormous grin on his face. He looked so happy. My stomach sank a little. Mikey rarely wore anything that didn’t have Doctor Who on it. This evening was going to mean something to him. Something that we might have to deal with in the long run. But I told myself to relax. To focus on the moment. Where Mikey was having fun. Where my mom was having fun. Where Maya was—

Where was Maya? I glanced around and noticed that Ethan had disappeared as well. Obviously something was going on – I would just have to drag it out of my best friend later.

I settled into my seat, tearing off a piece of the giant pretzel that my mom had gotten Mikey when we were inside. It was a beautiful day, not too hot, not too windy. I stretched out my legs and peered out onto the field wondering where the players would be coming from.

“They never start on time,” a friendly voice said to my left.

I turned and found a pretty young woman with a baby on her lap sitting in the section next to ours. She was dressed similarly to me, in jeans and a t-shirt with a cardigan. The baby had on a onesie version of the team’s jersey but with #43 on the front, unlike our #65s.

“I’m Sheryl,” she said with a faint British accent, reaching a hand over. “And this is Eddie.” She gave the baby a bounce in her lap. It was a really cute kid. I hadn’t given much thought to babies – not with the life I had – but I couldn’t deny that the cozy pair that Sheryl and Eddie made had my heart twisting a little with longing. Would I ever have that?

But now wasn’t the time to get caught up in the what-ifs.

“Nicole,” I said and gestured behind me to where my mom and Mikey were looking at the program. “My mom and brother.”

“Nice to meet you, Nicole. James rarely has people in his section. It gets a bit lonely over here,” Sheryl said with a smile.

That surprised me a little and I guess it showed on my face. Sheryl quickly corrected herself.

“I mean, his parents come once in a while and Ethan is always here, but, oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty about not coming more often.”

Did she think I was his girlfriend? I quickly shook my head.

“Oh. No, James and I are just friends,” I told her. “Recent friends in fact.”

“I see,” Sheryl gave me a smile. “Well, it’s lovely to have you here, recent friend or not.”

“Thanks,” I looked around for Ethan, but couldn’t see him or Maya anywhere. I leaned closer to Sheryl. “This is my first soccer, I mean, football game,” I confessed.

Her eyes widened. “Oh!” she laughed. “Well, they’re lots of fun. Let me know if you have any questions.”

I relaxed, grateful for her friendliness and kindness. “Thank you,” I said, casting another look at the women in their diamonds at the other end of the VIP section. Thankfully they were ignoring me.

The game began and I strained forward in my seat, looking for James among the players that rushed onto the field. It took a moment before I spotted him and damn, he looked good. I had seen him in jeans and shirt, in a suit, but I had never seen him in his uniform. It made me want to stand up and cheer. Which I did, because that’s what everyone else was doing. But probably not for the same reason.

I was especially fond of the shorts, which showed off his amazing legs, his muscles flexing with each step. His jersey made the most of his broad shoulders and narrow waist, his tattoos peeking out from the sleeves. And that smile. It seemed to light up the whole damn place.

He jogged across the field, waving at the crowd. He was so incredibly sexy. As was the confidence with which he handled the ball.

The game began and I was spellbound. James sped across the field, the ball a blur between his feet. The mechanics of it seemed otherworldly, how could he move so quickly and gracefully and get a ball from one end of the field to the other? I surged to my feet, cheering with the crowd as the ball he kicked sliced through the air and slammed into the goal’s net. They played hard and I could see the sweat along James’ forehead as he raced across the field, maneuvering around other players, the ball an extension of his feet. He controlled it so effortlessly, the only indication of his concentration was the expression on his face. The only time I had seen him so focused was when we were together. Doing other things that worked up a sweat.

“He’s really good, isn’t he?” I finally said to Sheryl, who I noticed was watching me as much as she was watching the game.

“One of the best,” she said with a smile. “The team is going to be sad to lose him.”

I turned to face her. “Lose him? What do you mean?”

She went pink. “Oh. I’m sorry, I thought you knew.”

I shook my head.

She bit her lip, clearly unsure if she should be telling me, but in the end lowered her voice and told me anyways. “Well, the rumor is he’s going to switch to another team. Or retire soon.”

“Retire?” He couldn’t have been older than thirty. “Isn’t he too young to retire?”

Sheryl lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “Some players like to leave when they’re at their peak. When they can exit on their own terms, instead of being asked to leave. But it’s just a rumor. Probably started because he hasn’t renewed his contract yet.” She looked out on the field. “Whenever he decides to leave, though, the guys are going to miss him. He’s pretty well-liked on the team. A good mentor to some of the younger players.” She bounced the baby on her lap. “My husband being one of them.”

Somehow I could picture that clearly. Maybe it was the way James had interacted with Mikey. Either way, he seemed like he could be a guy that was patient and supportive.

“What would he do if he retired?” I couldn’t help but be curious about that. It was hard to imagine a lot of guys leaving this kind of lifestyle behind without having a plan in place. Not that I cared. No. I definitely did not care.

“No one knows.” Sheryl gathered the baby in her arms and began patting him on the back, burping him. “Like I said, it’s only a rumor, but a lot of players go on to become spokesmen for brands or charities.”

I leaned back in my seat, trying to imagine why someone would give up a sport that they loved to be a shill for a car company or whatever soccer players sold these days. That didn’t seem like James’ style at all. I stopped those thoughts immediately. I didn’t know what his style was. I didn’t know him at all.

But as I watched him out on the field, kicking the ball in a clean arc into the goal, the crowd surging to their feet cheering, I couldn’t help wondering who exactly I had gone to bed with. And why I couldn’t stop thinking about how nice it had felt to wake up to him the following morning.

V
ery few things
in life felt as good as winning a football match. Lost in a sea of cheers and back slapping, my adrenaline was surging me and I couldn’t wait to strip off my uniform, shower and head upstairs to see Nicole.

That realization stopped me dead in my tracks. Greg, one of the newer team members who had been behind me, slammed into my back.

“You ok, mate?” he asked, concern on his face.

“Yeah, yeah.” I shook my head and fell back in step with the rest of the team, who was shouting and cheering. “Sorry about that.”

“No worries,” he said with a smile, clearly high off the win.

I grinned back at him. “Great game,” I told him. “You did great.”

“Yeah? Thanks.” He puffed out his chest. “We did pretty good, didn’t we?”

I slung an arm around his shoulders. “If this doesn’t get Americans excited about football, I don’t know what will.”

He laughed and we headed into the locker room. I knew that he was eager to get upstairs as well, to his wife and young baby, who had come from the UK with him. And as much as the impulse had startled me, I couldn’t deny that I was looking forward to seeing Nicole. It had been a long time since someone had been waiting for me after a game and especially after a game like this one. A game that was probably going to be my last.

That should have made me sad, but I was just amped up over how great it had gone. To leave this as my legacy felt pretty damn good.

I glanced over at Rick, who was groaning as he undressed. He had gotten quite the beating today, leaping and falling hard for the few balls that had made it to him. If our offense hadn’t been so solid, we might not have won the game. I kept meaning to talk to him about keeping out of the press, but after the way he had played today, I decided to give him a break. I could talk to him another time. Besides, things had been pretty quiet for a while. No “Play Maker” in the press, real or not. Maybe he had started to calm down on his own.

I had a feeling his drinking and age were starting to catch up with him in a way that the management wasn’t going to be able to ignore. Of course, they might keep him on the team, but put in a younger goalie to play. That was not how I wanted to end my career, sitting on the bench, watching someone else play the position I had once held, knowing everyone was waiting for me to fade away. No. I wanted to leave on my own terms.

And I was ready to go. Even though I loved the thrill of the game and the excitement that came after the victory, I realized that the thing I was the most excited for was what came after I left the field. It was a realization that made me both eager and a little apprehensive. How much change was too much change? Was I so eager to make my life different that I was hoping for a future that wasn’t really there? Was I moving too fast with all of this?

Because as much as I wanted to see Nicole, I couldn’t shake the voice in the back of my head that told me that I wasn’t ready. That it wasn’t a good idea to keep seeing her. It was pretty clear that she had a life that was full of distractions. Was that why she had done her best to keep me at arm’s length? Was I just fooling myself thinking that I could have everything that I wanted? Did I even know what I wanted?

I showered and dressed quickly, running into Greg again as I headed upstairs to the VIP room.

“Wow,” he noted. “You’re usually one of the last people out of the locker room. Got someone waiting for you?”

“As a matter of fact—” I started, but we had entered the VIP section and Greg’s attention was focused solely on finding his wife and baby. I spotted them before he did and seeing that little kid decked out in his jersey gave my stomach a twist I was not expecting at all.

I had never wanted kids. But right now, looking at that tiny little thing, reaching out to his dad, who was rushing across the room to get to him, I felt a need I had never felt before. He really was a cute kid. All smiles and chubby arms.

But before I could linger on that thought too much, someone had barreled into me, knocking the wind out of my lungs.

“Ooof,” I breathed, as I realized someone was hugging me.

“Mikey!” Nicole was rushing across the room. “I’m so sorry,” she said, pulling her brother back before I could assure her that it was fine. I hadn’t gotten a hug like that in a long time. “He just really enjoyed the game.”

“Did you, buddy?” I asked, taking in the boy’s shy nod. I noticed that he was wearing my jersey.

I looked over to where Ethan was standing with Maya and he raised his beer bottle in my direction. Of course he had given them the jerseys. He knew it would embarrass me. Worst best friend ever.

But I realized I didn’t feel embarrassed by it. In fact, I kind of liked that Mikey was wearing it. Like I had my own private team cheering me on.

“It was like.” He made his hand into a fist and swung it in a circle in front of him. “Like, whoosh! And pow!” He thrust the fist in the air. “And boom! And score!” He made a sound like the crowd cheering.

“It really was,” Nicole said, patting him on the shoulder. “We had a great time,” she told me.

I glanced up at her and saw that she was also wearing my jersey. It looked incredible on her. She looked gorgeous, her blonde hair curling across her shoulders, her red lips smiling and her eyes sparkling. I wanted to take her in my arms and kiss her. Right then and there.

Something about the two of them, in their identical uniforms, smiling at me, both with pride and excitement on their faces, made me feel something I had never felt before. It felt like home.

And it scared the crap out of me. Suddenly the room felt very crowded and hot.

I quickly looked away.

“Do you like our shirts?” Mikey asked, pulling at his.

“You look great,” I told him. “Where’d you get those?” I hadn’t meant for it to sound accusatory, but I saw Nicole flinch. Luckily Mikey didn’t seem to pick up on it.

“They were on our chairs!”

“That’s great.”

“We had a really nice time,” Nicole said, her voice more quiet than usual.

I should have looked at her, but I didn’t. I didn’t even respond. In that moment, I was uncertain of my own feelings, but I had made a promise to Mikey and I was going to keep that.

“Want to go meet some Doctor Who people?” I asked. I could figure everything else out later. “I think there are a few on the other side of the room.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah!” Mikey pumped his fist in the air and pulled away from Nicole.

“Have fun,” she said, but Mikey was already halfway across the room.

I saw the hurt and confusion in her eyes, but I ignored it and quickly followed Mikey to where some of the football-loving actors were milling about. Fulfill promises now. Deal with everything else later.