Play It Again, Charlie (39 page)

It was just a gesture, Charlie reminded himself. A gesture to bug Will's friends, that was what Will had implied, even if he was leaning expectantly into Charlie. He shouldn't be doing that, offering himself up at all. Not that Charlie would have dreamed of doing it otherwise.

Maybe that was the problem. Maybe Will was already getting bored and was looking for someone stronger, or more in control. Charlie wasn't in control of anything, as evidenced by the fact that he had trouble resisting Will's every request. As for rough or strong, he wasn't, except for the few times with Will when Will had wanted him to be. He'd felt strong then, at least, crushing Will against his door, lifting him up onto his table and over the kitchen counter, and each time Will had begged for more in a hoarse, raw voice. As though it had been exactly what he'd wanted, as though whatever discomfort or pain he felt was nothing, or just part of it, as though he needed Charlie to put his arms on either side of him.

Charlie's breath caught, his body going tense at the surge of blood below his waist. He rubbed his damp palm in another circle, pushing against Will's shirt, his underwear, the edge of his jeans. They all felt too thin, like too little protection, not that protection was what Will wanted from him. Will wanted Charlie to lay a hand on him, to bring his hand down and leave behind a mark, and more than that, do it in public so there was no doubt in anyone's mind that Will was his.

His hand tightened, though it was just supposed to be a gesture, and not real. Except that Will put so much effort into seeming casual and artless. Except that Will might mean it.

“It won't be humiliating?” The question came out strangled. Charlie was so bad at anything like this. He wasn't the type; Will should know better. Other men probably didn't need to ask. They would enjoy it, and Will would trust them not to go too far when he shouldn't. Charlie wasn't like that, wasn't some stranger. He wasn't any kind of damn papi, either. He was flushed and sweaty, his muscles locked so tight he was going to be sore in the morning.

“Do you feel humiliated?” Will fingertips were pressure points, both arousing and soothing, and Charlie scowled. He tried to focus on the question and not replaying the number of times his hand had slid over Will's ass, the way Will gave in to him at the slightest direction. Charlie felt slow, hot, and turned on, tense but not humiliated, and Will was telling him, softly, pointedly, that he didn't need to be, that he could banish all of that with one gesture. He was murmuring against Charlie's throat. “Have I embarrassed you, Charlie?” he teased. He was creating more tension with every restless shift of his body, pausing whenever Charlie's fingers would tighten over him. “Then embarrass me back. Don't you want to?”

Charlie held his breath at the question, holding back his immediate answer. He couldn't even feel shocked, not with Will asking for it in his lap. He wanted to know why Will would bring him here and ask him for this, doubted he would get any other answer if he asked but that Will wanted it. Will wanted Charlie to discipline him, with witnesses. Daddy issues didn't even being to describe it.

He didn't want to hurt Will, even if Will was deliberately taunting him. He just wanted to make Will happy and give him what he wanted. Make him behave even if it meant spanking some sense into him. Charlie glanced over once more to those watching at the guilty thought, then away when it just sparked more anger to realize they probably knew exactly what Will was doing. Maybe Will had done it before with others.

Charlie's hand was rubbing small circles over Will's jeans, and he forced it to stop to let himself take in the layers of fabric between his palm and Will's skin, Will's slight shiver of anticipation. He could hear himself breathing too hard. Charlie pulled back his hand before he could get any tenser and brought it down.

“That's
it
,” he heard himself say, his voice cracking more than his hand had.

The slap hadn't been hard enough for him to feel a sting in his palm. Will couldn't have felt much, but he inhaled, and then he was moving against Charlie before Charlie could think to apologize or try again. There was pressure against Charlie's thigh, hot, pounding pressure, rushing like the blood in Charlie's ears, and then Will's mouth at his throat and Will's hands curling into his sides. Will seemed anything but humiliated.

Charlie slid forward and grunted, startled at how all of Will's attitude seemed to be gone. His weight was on Charlie, and he didn't seem to notice, but Charlie wasn't going to tell him. He inched off the stool and curved his hands under Will's ass, his temperature rising and something bright swelling up inside him when Will pushed forward. It was like in his kitchen, Will pushing him, daring him, and then falling onto his back and letting Charlie pin him down, satisfaction all over his face.

He liked that, pleasing Will with something as small as a hand holding him down, a smack to his ass, liked hearing and seeing Will's reactions. He wanted more, maybe more than Will did, and tried to breathe. He had to hold Will up, had to tell him to stop or he wouldn't. Will needed him to do it, and Charlie wanted to do it for him.

He moved his own hands away from temptation and slid one into Will's hair. Will's stubble was against his neck, burning as Will kept saying his name.

“Charlie, you... .” Will's energy was pure arousal now, his cock jumped against Charlie's leg. “That's it, show them who I'm going home with.”

Charlie tried to lift his head, pulled his hands away to make it clear they had to stop, and Will rumbled a complaint into his skin.

“Will,” Charlie warned him and felt a new flood of desire at how Will went still. He was trembling minutely in Charlie's arms, but one word and he'd stopped. He was so good, so ready to listen. Charlie sucked in a breath.

“Oh my God, get a room already.” The intruding, disdainful voice at least got Will's head up, then he was turning toward the two next to them. Charlie had a feeling Will was staring them down, so he spent a moment trying to slow his breathing, then put a hand to Will's shoulder.

“All right,” Will said the moment Charlie touched him, though Charlie hadn't said anything, so he must have been talking to the pair next to them. He took a step back, off Charlie's leg, leaving Charlie to shiver, then smiled. “Out of my way, bitches. My man is going to take me home.”

“Will,” Charlie barked as he got to his feet, but the kids obediently moved to the side and didn't seem offended, and Will turned to give Charlie an innocent look that Charlie didn't believe. He was still dizzy, half hard, but he pursed his lips and felt his heart kick against his ribs when Will bowed his head. A shudder ran down his back, and then he held out his hand.

That was probably why the rest of what Will had just said took a second too long to sink in. Charlie's jaw went a little slack. Will didn't seem to have a problem, however.

“Don't forget your cane, Charlie,” Will reminded him, much too calmly for someone with a stiff dick pushing against his jeans, and he started to walk toward the door the moment Charlie picked up his cane. He left his hand behind his back and Charlie grabbed it, not looking behind him, not needing anybody else there to see his red face. Nobody else around the bar seemed to have noticed, or care if they had. Charlie glared anyway, glowering until they hit fresh air.

“My man?” He wanted to ask but held it back as they made their way through the entrance. It escaped once they were outside. He reached out without bothering to put his cane on the ground, and Will's fingers slipped through his before Will twisted away.

“I suppose I should have said
the
man, huh?” It was just as dark outside as it was inside, with only a few streetlights and the odd set of headlights. Will moved ahead once he saw Charlie's car, then dropped back to look at him sideways. He was nervous again. Charlie didn't think either of them could take another spanking to end it, especially not in a parking lot.

He unlocked the car without suggesting it, not about to bring that up, not with everything so nerve-rackingly
new
, when he had
spanked
Will, and Will slid into the passenger side. With the interior light on, Charlie could really see the shadows under his eyes, and he let himself focus on that.

“Does nobody let you sleep?” he inquired softly. “You don't have to go everywhere your friends say, if you're tired.” He was scolding. If anybody should have gotten smacked,
he
should have, but his heart was still racing. Will closed his door and shot him a look. “I mean,” Charlie started in again, then just about swallowed his tongue in surprise as Will pushed forward, tearing over the armrest. He had one hand at the back of Charlie's head and the other in his lap before Charlie could stop him.

“Okay, how about just to your place?” Will suggested breathlessly, his mouth wet and sweet, his fingers quick. Charlie wanted to stretch toward Will despite himself. His heart pounded hard against his ribs, fear and need mixing together, and he tried to think, to breathe. He was shaking, and Will was going to see. Not only still in public in a parking lot, but also in the car.

“No, Will, I... .” The tension was back with a vengeance. They were in public in a parking lot, in the car. People would see, and he needed a moment that he wouldn't get with Will touching him.

Will wanted someone in control. God help him, Charlie wanted to be that someone, and the idea wouldn't leave him now that Will had put it there. He was supposed to
drive
like this? “It's only a few minutes to get back.”

“So?” Will unzipped his fly, and for a second, Charlie couldn't see anything but the white flash of desire and felt himself grabbing at Will's arms. He jerked back, already hot with embarrassment at how he was overreacting. But he put his hands on the steering wheel before he looked over.

Will looked like he thought Charlie had lost his mind. Charlie wished he had. It would be easier than explaining to Will that he wasn't who Will thought he was. He shrugged to ease the knot that had instantly formed between his shoulders again.

Well, he thought in resignation, now Will would see why Charlie wasn't the kind that anybody called daddy. He had learned a long time ago that he didn't control anything, and it was very possible that nobody would ever control Will. Nobody should, even if the sounds he made when he was pleading were like melted sugar, even if they slipped from his mouth so beautifully,
yes, Charlie, harder.
Even when just hearing Will start to say “daddy” was enough to have Charlie hot.

He couldn't imagine Mark saying it but spent a moment trying, anyway. He recalled something else instead: Mark biting back words, as if there had been something he'd wanted to say and never had, and having the urge to
make
him.

“Are you mad at me for what happened inside?” Will asked, too quiet, and Charlie snapped his head up, touching Will for a second when he knew he shouldn't. He yanked his hand back, and Will made a small, confused noise.

He should never have offered to pick Will up. If he hadn't, this thing between them might have gone on a while longer without anything like this.

Charlie looked out the windshield as the interior light dimmed. Considering he had never seen the accident coming, his anxiety in cars was all the more pathetic, no matter what any therapist said.

“We're in public,” he explained, then he swallowed, too aware that Will wouldn't want him if he knew everything. Will was looking for someone strong. “Don't tempt me.” With something he couldn't have. It was cruel when Will was smart enough that he had to know how much Charlie wanted it.

“I tempt you?” Will was breathing hard too. Charlie glanced over, meeting Will's eyes. “I am not sorry to hear that, Charlie,” Will burst out, then he put a hand over his mouth and cleared his throat. “I mean,” he went on, removing his hand, “
okay
. I'll stay on my side when in the car.” Will's voice suddenly dropped, got strained. He wasn't calm, not at all, and Charlie glanced at him, the outline of him, and rolled his shoulders without taking his hands from the wheel.

Will drew in a breath.

“Charlie,” he whispered, his hand sneaking across the gearshift only to draw back. Charlie watched without comment, couldn't even manage a bitter smile. Will took another moment, and then raised his chin.

“Are you worried? Because there's really nothing wrong with it, you know. Unless... you think there is. Like that I'm a pervert or something?” He glanced over and seemed satisfied with whatever he saw on Charlie's face. “And I just wanted, I thought,
you
wanted it. You're so tense. You really are worried, aren't you?

“You know that speech of Marilyn's in
The Seven Year Itch
?” Will shifted in his seat to pull on his seat belt. Charlie scowled in his direction, not sure that whatever Will was going on about had a point. “You're that other guy in the room, the gentle and kind and worried one, who'll be tender with you.

“She doesn't mention occasional spankings, but I feel it's implied,” Will added finally, sounding pretty damn pleased with himself.

“I don't know what that means.” Frankly, Charlie was too distracted to try to figure out what, if anything, Will was referencing. Embarrassment and arousal and hints of anxiety had him dizzy. “What are you talking about?” How was someone supposed to be tender and rough at the same time? “Make sense.” He was giving orders again.

Will moved but kept to his side of the car. “Did you like that in there, Charlie? Was it okay?” He spoke softly too.

Charlie didn't risk looking over. The memory of Will saying his name was vivid. He could make Will do that again. He could, and had, made that happen. He'd liked it. That would have been clear to Will and everyone else there.

“Yes.” Even his ears were hot.

“Would you want to go back, someday?” Perhaps Will had been talking about the bar all along. “If I promise to behave?” Or not.

“As though you could behave.” Charlie tried to lighten the mood again so Will wouldn't notice how worried he was, and Will exhaled, long and slow.