Authors: Tricia Goyer
Take things slow, Hope. Don't let his heart become entwined too quick.
But even as she thought that Hope wondered if it was too late. She also wondered what all this meant. But for the moment she was content simply sitting in this backyard with Jonas and feeling the tenderness of his touch.
September 17, 1942
We planned the wedding in three days. I've known that I loved Henry for months now, and I knew he loved me. I'm not sure why we waited to marry⦠fear, I suppose. Fear that we were making a mistake. Fear that things were moving too soon.
Uncle Sam was finally the one who stepped in to say, “Enough is enough,” and Henry received news he was heading to Europe. I knew before he left that we had to marry. He felt the same.
September 30, 1942
The transport plane that was carrying Henry to his new base crashed. There are survivors. I haven't heard if Henry is one of them.
October 7, 1942
Henry is coming home, but not like I expected.
October 15, 1942
He lost his arm, but my husband will be in my arms soon. I sent him a letter telling him that he can still pull weeds with one arm. I imagined his smile. I hope that letter arrives before he leaves. I want him to know that I love him now just as much as I did before the accident. There is little that can change a love like we haveâ¦
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1¾ cup plain yogurt
¼ cup honey
2 Tbsp frozen orange juice concentrate
2 Tbsp freshly squeezed lemon juice
¾ tsp. grated orange zest
¼ tsp. freshly grated ginger root
Combine all ingredients and serve over fresh green lettuce leaves or fruit chunks.
May our lives be like arithmetic: friends added, enemies subtracted, sorrows divided, joys multiplied.
A
MISH
P
ROVERB
W
hen Joy half-jogged, half-ran around the corner of the pie shop, Hope knew that something was wrong. She first thought of Dat, but another name slipped from Joy's lips.
“It's Janet. She had her hip surgery but she took a turn for the worse. They have her in a rehab center.”
A weight sank in the pit of Hope's stomach. Her breath caught and she extended a hand to Joy. “Isâwill she be all right?”
Joy shrugged. “Elizabeth doesn't know. She just asked me to come and tell you. She knew you'd want to know. She knew you'd pray.”
“
Ja
, of course.”
Hope thought of the Victory Journal that she'd left sitting on her bedside table. Even though she was only borrowing it, it meant so much that Janet trusted her with it.
“Do you think we'd be able to go see Janetâonce she's stable, of course?”
Joy brushed a strand of dark hair from her face and shrugged.
“I'm not certain, but I'd be happy to ask.” Joy looked at the trowel in Hope's hand. “Actually I'm heading there right now if you'd like to join me.”
“
Ja
.” Hope brushed a dirty hand on her apron. “I'd be happy to. Just give me a minute to wash up.”
Twenty minutes later both of them were sitting near Elizabeth as she hand-stitched a small quilted wall hanging. “I know we won't be able to see Janet until she is stable. She's at a nice place, though. I've visited there before. My husband and I went to visit one of his friends.”
Hope's head jerked backward. “Your husband? I am so confused. Didn't you tell me about moving to Pinecraft and feeling so alone?”
“
Ja
, we did talk about that a while ago, didn't we? For a while I even considered leaving the Amish, but I am glad I stayed. I met and married a wonderful man. Amos Bieler. His name was the same as my married name, but we couldn't find any close relations. We only had four years together before his death, but they were a wonderful four years.”
“I've always wanted to ask you about Amos.” Joy smiled. “I've seen the photograph of him on your desk.”
Elizabeth chuckled and pushed her glasses farther up her nose. “The newspaper took that photo when we were meeting the bus. Amos was upset that they published it, but I bought five copies and cut out the photos.” She sighed. “I'm secretly thankful.”
“And if you hadn't stayed Amish⦠” Hope's voice trailed off.
“If I hadn't stayed Amish then I would have never married Amos. I thought I was a godly woman until I married a man with two children. I was older, and Abel and Katie were both nearly grown by the time I married their father, but oh the trials. I couldn't just think of myself all the time,” Elizabeth said. “And there was so much I needed to learn⦠”
Hope started to organize the thread spools next to her by color. “What do you mean?”
“Before I got married, sewing was my life. I promise you that after I moved in with Amos my sewing machine sat in the living room with an unfinished project folded up on top of it for three months. I couldn't just be concerned about myself, but those who needed to eat and needed clean clothes. There was that large gardenâbigger than anything I'd ever tackled before, and though I loved Amos I'd cry as I watched him leave for work, knowing he'd expect a good hot meal at lunch.
“Looking back now I know I'd placed high expectations on myself. No man expects a perfect wife. I also know that putting myself in the middle of that family, and the new community, was the best thing for me. It was a growing time. It made me realize that I didn't have my act together as much as I thought I did. Before my marriage, God was a nice companion. I knew that He was there. I thanked Him throughout the day. I also prayed for others. Oh, I had troubles in my life to be certain, but for the most part nothing that I couldn't handle. But with a husband and children I needed God. I clung to Him. I turned to Him for wisdom. I cried to Jesus for strength. And, Hope, I'm guessing that you have some worries about your growing relationship too. But dear one, don't be afraid to open your heart.”
Hope chuckled. “It sounds as if marriage is hard. Are you really trying to talk me into opening my heart, Elizabeth? Because right now everything within my mind shouts ârun, run.' ”
“Oh sweet child, weren't you listening? All my self-concern didn't disappear, but a new name became most important, and that was
Jesus
. I wouldn't trade the close relationship with Him for anything else. Every heartache, every conflict was worth it because it drew me into His arms.”
Elizabeth reached over and patted Hope's hand. “Besides, God's going to grow us up somehow. That's what all good parents do. If He's not going to use marriage to change you and mold you into the likeness of His Son, He'll use something else.” Elizabeth winked. “And if I were you, I'd sign up for God's classroom of life with a handsome partner like Jonas Sutter.”
Heat rose to Hope's cheeks, and she fanned her face with her hand. “Elizabeth,” she offered in a shocked whisper.
“I've seen the way he looks at youâ”
“Yes, I know. Jonas believes I'll be a
gut
mother for Emma.”
Elizabeth clucked her tongue. “Oh dear, is that what you're telling yourself? That's just the half of it.
Ne
, make that a quarter of it.” Elizabeth closed her eyes, and she dropped her head. When she noticed the slightest trembling of Elizabeth's shoulders Hope realized she was crying.
Hope squeezed the woman's hand.
“I was married to Amos for four years, and if given the chance I'd go back and do it all againâdespite the hard work and the times of heartache. After being single well into my forties there's nothing like knowing you matter most in the world to someone.” Elizabeth lifted her face and the rim of tears on her lower lids glimmered. Seeing it, tears filled Hope's eyes too.
“Don't let your fears stop you from giving your heart away, Hope.”
“I know I care for Jonas, and I suppose it's growing into love. I'm just afraid that his feelings are moving ahead of mine. How will I know, Elizabeth? How will I know when the time is right for us to make that commitment?”
“Oh, that's easy. When you get to the place when you don't want to be apart from him, and your heart breaks thinking over having to, listen to that. If you're willing to step away from the
things you love most to be with the man you love⦠well, that's a good sign too.”
“Are you talking about the community garden?”
“The garden is important all right, but more important are your plans and the dreams you've built around your future. When all the ideas and plans you've been scheming seem like a waste of time without Jonas, then it's a sign you've given him your heart.”
Hope took in those words. She let them sink deep. Her heart tightened and ached. Before Jonas she hadn't known this feelingâthe pain of both longing and⦠and what?
Tenderness. Was that it? Was her heart really hurting because she'd come to care for those two people? She didn't even know that was possible.
“Oh!” Elizabeth's eyes brightened. “I know you probably need to get going. No one has all day to sit and chat with an old woman, but before you leave I have something for you. Something you asked for.”
Elizabeth rose from her chair and went to the back storeroom. She returned with a paper bag rolled down at the top. She reached inside, pulling out a small apron.
“Oh!” Hope's hands flew to her face. Is that for Emma?”
“
Ja
, it is.”
Hope took it from her, and her fingers trembled slightly. She held it up. It was exactly like hers, only smaller. Tears filled Hope's eyes and shimmered on the rim. Emotion grew in her throat when she imagined Emma's expression when Hope gave it to her.
“It is perfect, Elizabeth, just perfect.” She pressed the apron to her chest. “Just let me know how much I owe you.”
Elizabeth waved a hand in the air. “You don't owe me anything, dear girl. You've given so much to our communityâwith your time, your garden, and your smile. It's the least I could do.”