Plan (6 page)

Randy's words echoed through her mind all week. Rachel took his words to heart and began to pray over the situation. She couldn't get the feel of his hand on hers or the look in his eyes out of her mind. She prayed for understanding and guidance. Thursday she flipped open her Bible at random. The words of David from the book of Psalms seemed to jump off the page. “Wait on the Lord.” She closed the book with a thud. She didn't have time to wait.

Kyle called for another date on Friday, and again on Saturday. With each date, Rachel became more and more frustrated. They were all the same as the first. They went to the movies or out to eat, but the conversation never got past small talk. More and more, she found herself thinking about her conversations with Randy. In a few meetings, Rachel had learned more about him than she had learned about Kyle in five years. She wanted to talk to Susan about it, but she could already hear the lecture and see the knowing look. She would just have to work this out on her own, or better yet, talk it out with Kyle. Maybe he just needed a little push in the right direction. She picked up the phone and dialed his number.

“Hello.” Somehow the sound of his voice was annoying. She shook the thought away.

“Hi, Kyle. It's Rachel. I wanted to talk to you about Friday night.” She wound the phone cord around her fingers as she talked.

“What about it? You're still free, aren't you?” The worry in his voice made her smile.

“Yes. It's not that. I was just wondering if we could skip the movie and go somewhere and get to know each other better.”

“Oh, sure. That would be good. Where do you want to go?”

“I don't know. Just some place we can talk without so many people around.”

“I know just the place. Why don't I surprise you?” Something about the tone in his voice sent a warning shiver up her spine, but she ignored it. It was probably just nerves.

“Okay.”

“See you Friday.”

She hung up and finished getting ready for work. Monday was the same old thing, a repeat of the Monday before it. She hadn't seen much of Randy since their meeting the week before. It was almost as if he were avoiding her. It was probably just her imagination. He probably had a lot of grading to do. With a sigh, she picked up a one-inch stack of papers and added them to her growing tower of papers.

The rest of the week was a blur of grading and classes. One day proceeded after another in their onward march to eternity. She was getting overly dramatic these days. What was the problem? She should be happy, ecstatic, but here she was moaning and groaning. She finally had Kyle, so why was she so depressed? She stuffed the stacks of papers into her bag and headed for the Mag-nolia. Maybe a cappuccino would help.

She spotted him the minute she walked into the room. Randy was sitting in their favorite spot, holding a cup of cappuccino like it was a lifeline. Rachel ordered her coffee and made her way through the tables, her step definitely lighter.

“Hey, stranger! What do you know?”

He jumped at the sound of her voice, spilling hot liquid all over his hand. “Ow!” he yelped. She put down her coffee and grabbed some napkins in one smooth move. She dried his hand and checked for burns. On a whim, she kissed his hand.

“There. I kissed it and made it better.”

The scalding coffee was nothing compared to the fire that went through him at the touch of her lips on his hand. He wanted nothing more than to grab her and kiss her right then. Her smile seemed to light up the entire room. It had been a long two weeks without that smile. He had made a concerted effort to stay out of her path, hoping he could shake the growing need to see her. It only brought pain, especially when he thought of the other guy.

“What's wrong?” She looked concerned. “Does it still hurt?” She turned his hand over and inspected it again.

“Oh, it's nothing. I was just surprised, that's all.”

“Well, I'm sorry I startled you. Can I buy you another cappuccino to make up for it?” she asked. Everything in him said to get up and leave. Everything except his heart which was crying, “Stay!” His heart won.

“Sure.”

They talked about school, the weather, politics. Any-thing that wasn't personal. They stretched the coffee as long as they could, neither one in a hurry to leave—both unwilling to leave. Finally, he got up.

“Well, I have a meeting in five minutes. I guess I'd better get a move on.”

“Oh. Okay.” She seemed disappointed. His heart grasped at the hope that there was still a chance.

“Maybe we could have dinner afterwards?” Then she lowered the boom.

“I'm sorry, but I already have a date tonight.”

The words cut through him like a knife. He stood in shock while she gathered her things. He struggled to sound normal. “Oh. Well, maybe another time.”

“Maybe.”

“I'll see you later, then.” He turned and walked toward the door, the walking wounded.

Randy walked back to his office, shoulders slouched. He tried to shake off the feelings of depression that threatened to overwhelm him. It just wasn't meant to be. God had other plans for him. He would just have to wait on God's timing. He repeated the words to himself over and over again, but nothing loosened the knot growing in his throat. He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he
almost didn't see the young man standing in front of his
office.

“Excuse me.” Randy jumped at the sound of the voice. “Didn't mean to scare you.”

“I should of been paying more attention,” Randy replied with a shrug of his shoulders. “What can I do for you?”

“I'm looking for Rachel Grant. Have you seen her?”

“Yes. I just left her at The Magnolia.”

“Yeah?” Kyle looked Randy over with a suspicious eye. “What were you doing there?”

“Having a cappuccino, if it's any business of yours.” Randy straightened to his full six feet, but this guy was still a head taller. He didn't like this guy's tone of voice, but he didn't want to start anything in the hallway.

“Well, if you were having it with my fiancée, then it is my business,” Kyle said, his lip turning into smirk.

“Fiancée?” Randy couldn't have heard right.

“Yeah, that's right. It's not official or anything, but it's understood.” Kyle leaned against the wall, obviously enjoying himself.

“Rachel never said anything about an engagement.” Randy felt his heart drop, but he had his doubts about this character.

“She probably didn't want to make a big deal out of it. We'll wait until I buy her a ring before we make any announcements.” Kyle stood up and pointed toward the quad. “Is The Magnolia out there?” Randy gave a weak nod. “Then, I guess I'd better get going before I miss her.” Kyle sauntered down the hall with a backward wave. “See you around, Professor.”

Randy blindly searched for the right key to his office. Stumbling into his office, he closed and locked the door behind him before sinking into his chair. He raked his fingers through his hair. He felt like he was going to be sick. Could it be true? Had Rachel already made her choice? If it was true, why hadn't she said anything? He moaned into his hands. How had he let it go this far? Deep in his heart he knew he loved Rachel. How could he stay here, seeing her every day, knowing she belonged to someone else? Worse still, what if she moved away? How could he stay here even if she left? Everything at Myerstown reminded him of Rachel.

He tried to pray, but the words wouldn't come. Finally, he took a deep breath, smoothed his hair and suit, and gathered the papers he needed for the faculty meeting. A few minutes later he was sitting in the conference room pretending nothing was happening, while inside everything was crumbling to pieces.

Dr. Jenson, the president of the university, stood and called the meeting to order. “I called this meeting to tell those of you with tenure about our plans to open a satellite school in Dothan which will offer courses for military personnel at the local Air Force base. There will be openings for several full-time instructors, as well as a position for an administrator. We would like to hire local people for the main teaching positions, but we want the administrator to be someone from this school who is willing to move. It will be a promotion and a significant pay raise.” Randy barely heard the rest of the information. It was like a lifeline being thrown to a drowning man. Surely this was God at work, giving him a way out of his suffering. He latched onto the idea like a lifejacket.

As soon as the meeting was over, Randy singled out Dr. Jenson about the job. When he left thirty minutes later, he felt confident that he had a good chance of getting the job. Of course, he would have to apply like anyone else, but he had all the qualifications and was young and unattached, which made moving that much easier. He would know for sure in a couple of weeks.

Driving home, Randy found himself going through Rachel's neighborhood. On impulse he stopped in front of her house. He turned off the engine and looked up at her apartment. He could see her silhouette in the window. He needed to talk to her one more time, make sure before he made his final decision. With a slap to the steering wheel, he got out of the car and started up to her door.

Rachel paced around the room, looking at her watch every thirty seconds. She tried a few deep breaths to control her nerves, but nothing seemed to help. She just had to face it. She did not like confrontations of any kind. Yet, she just couldn't go on this way with Kyle.

Something had to give or change. She wanted a deeper, more intimate relationship than what they had, or she wanted out. Rachel stopped midpace at the reali-zation that had just hit her. All this time she had wanted nothing more than for Kyle to notice her, and now that he had, she wasn't happy. Why?

The doorbell rang, interrupting her thoughts. She
opened it without looking in the peephole. “Hi, Kyle. . .” Kyle's name died on her lips as she looked into Randy's
eyes. She stood there for a moment, mouth open.
Gathering herself together, she clamped her mouth shut. “What are you doing here?”

“I'm not sure.” They stood looking at each other in the doorway for several minutes.

“May I come in?” Randy asked.

“No. Yes. I mean, I'm expecting someone.”

“I know, but this won't take long.”

“Okay.” She stepped back for him to enter. She glanced down the street before she
closed the door. No sign of Kyle.

She watched Randy pace around the room. Something
was obviously on his mind. “Randy, is something wrong? You look upset.”

“Nothing's wrong. I just needed to talk to you about a decision I need to make. I wanted your input.” He raked his fingers through his hair. A part of her wanted to repeat the gesture.

“What is it?”

“I just found out about a job opportunity in Dothan. It would be an administrative position, more money. I have a good chance at getting the job, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea or not. What do you think?” He gave her one of his piercing looks.

“I'm not sure. It sounds like a great opportunity.” Rachel turned so that he couldn't see her face. She knew it probably reflected the sudden pain she felt in her chest. She didn't want to lose him. A good friend was hard to find. She ignored the little voice that questioned,
Just a friend?

“Can you think of any reason why I shouldn't take the job? Anything that could keep me in this area?”

She could feel his eyes watching her every move. What did he want? Her approval. “I don't know, Randy. I think that has to be up to you.” She gathered up her courage and faced him. “I mean we've become good
friends and. . .” The doorbell interrupted her mid-sen
tence. She opened the door to find Kyle lounging in the doorway. One look at the professor and he pulled himself up.

“What's going on here?” Kyle asked. “I thought we had a date for tonight.” Rachel didn't like his tone at all.

“Randy needed some advice. We were just talking about a possible job opportunity.”

“Really. What kind of opportunity?” Kyle demanded.

“An administrative job in Dothan,” Randy replied.

“Sounds like a good thing to me,” Kyle said.

“Well, I'd better be going, Rachel. You two have plans, I'm sure.” Randy nodded at both of them and slipped out the door, leaving Rachel feeling torn and awkward. She wanted tell him that they should talk about it later, but he was already halfway down the walk.

“Come on, Rachel. Let's go. I've got a surprise for you.”

In the car, Rachel silently fumed. The more she thought about it, the more Kyle's attitude made her just plain mad. How dare he strut around, acting as if he owned her?

She was so lost in her anger that she didn't notice where they were headed until they stopped on a remote road that led to the old drive-in theater. The drive-in had been closed so long that the original name had long since been forgotten—now it was simply called “Lovers' Lane.” Rachel looked around in confusion. What were they doing here? She was just about to ask Kyle when the words were blocked by his lips. She pushed at his chest, but he used the momentum to get one arm around her while the other was moving into forbidden territory. The weight of his body pushed her back into the seat and suddenly the car seemed to move. Then she realized that somehow he had reclined the seat and he was on top of her, suffocating her. It took a moment for her to realize
what was going on, and then her reflexes kicked in, liter
ally. One swift move and he was back in his seat with a howl.

“What was that for?” he yelped. He was bent over double and his face was red with pain and anger.

Rachel had already sat up and was resetting the chair with a snap. “I could ask the same question. What do you think you were doing?” Rachel yelled, her eyes blazing.

“Just what you asked for,” he said. He shifted to ease the pain.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“You said you wanted to get to know each other better. You said we didn't spend enough time alone. What was I supposed to think?”

“That I meant exactly what I said. I wanted to get to know you as a person, not in the biblical sense.” Rachel straightened her sweater where roving hands had rumpled it. “I thought you were a Christian.” It was more an accusation than a question.

“I am. I go to church every Sunday and Wednesday. I'm a good guy. I don't drink or do drugs.” He had re-covered enough from the pain to sit up, but he refused to look at Rachel.

“From what just happened, I'd say this wasn't your first time to ‘Lovers' Lane,' was it?”

“Well, it's not like I come here every Friday night with a different girl.”

“One girl is one too many.” Rachel stared at Kyle and wondered how she could be so wrong about a guy. This was not the guy she thought she knew. He was an alien. “This kind of thing can get you into trouble. What if you got carried away?”

Kyle shifted uneasily in his seat. A horrible premonition sent a shiver through her spine. She willed him to tell her it wasn't true, but his silence said more than she wanted to hear. Rachel shook her head slowly, trying to erase the ugly thoughts in her head. He must have known what she was thinking because he immediately began to give excuses.

“Look, Rachel. It's not the same for girls as it is for guys. I'm thirty years old. That's a long time to wait. So, I slipped once or twice. Big deal! Everybody does it.”

Rachel's mouth dropped open and then snapped shut. “Everybody doesn't do it, Kyle. Sex is meant for a husband and wife and no one else. All that stuff about it being different for men is just a line, and it's no excuse. And what about the women you slept with, Kyle? What
about them? If girls are supposed to stay pure, what
about them? Are only certain girls supposed to stay pure, and the rest are free game?”

Kyle didn't answer. He just stared into the night. He had obviously tuned her out. She swallowed the rest of the arguments like a horse pill. Nothing she said would get to him now because he didn't want to admit he was wrong. He had convinced himself that he was in the right.

“Take me home.”

Without another word he started the engine and backed out. The ten-minute drive to her apartment seemed like an eternity. She got out of the car without a word and started toward the door. She heard the tires squeal as he pulled away. Nothing would ever be the same again.

Rachel tossed and turned all night, reliving the scene in the car. How could she have been so wrong? How could he sit in church every Sunday without ever being convicted of what he had done? Was it really that different for guys? Was it too much to ask for a guy that waited for marriage? Were they all like Kyle?

The questions went around and around in her head until she was dizzy. Burying her head under her pillow, she tried to drown out the sounds, but it wasn't until the early morning hours that she drifted off into a troubled sleep.

The next morning over coffee, she remembered
Randy's visit. The grogginess wore off instantly. A panic seemed to spread through her at the thought of him leaving. What was she going to do? Rachel was taken aback by how much the thought of him leaving upset her. It was almost as upsetting as last night's revelations about Kyle. She mentally shook off the thoughts and tried to concentrate on a plan of action. It didn't matter why she didn't want him to leave—what mattered was how to make him stay. She chewed absently on her fingernail until her cup of coffee was cold, and still no ideas came. Maybe a brisk walk would clear her thoughts.

Randy shifted through the samples of wallpaper and paint again. If he was going to move, he had to finish this house and put it on the market. The master bedroom and bath were the only two rooms left that needed remodeling. He just couldn't decide how he wanted to finish the room. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand to relieve the strain. He had been up late last night looking at samples to keep from thinking about Rachel and that Kyle guy. What did she see in him anyway? He pushed the samples away in frustration and got up. Grabbing his coat from the banister where he'd left it the night before, Randy headed for the park.

Whenever he was restless, which seemed to be all the time these days, he headed for the park. A brisk walk always seemed to soothe him and helped him open up his heart to God. He had to get quiet to hear that still, small voice. He walked around the park three times at a quick pace, but he couldn't hear the voice, and the restlessness was still there. He was about to turn around and go home when he spotted Rachel standing in front of the remains of the community center. She was reading a sign. He couldn't tell what it said from this distance, but from the way her shoulders drooped it couldn't be good. He crossed the space between them in a few strides and tapped her shoulder. She whirled around, one hand at her throat.

“Oh, Randy. It's just you. You scared me half to death.”

“I'm sorry,” he apologized. “I didn't mean to scare you. What's so engrossing that you can't hear footsteps?”

“Read it for yourself.” It was a notice of demolition to be completed in less than a week. “What are we going to do?” She looked at him, pleading with him to give her the answer she needed. More than anything, he wished he could help her, but he was fresh out of ideas.

“I honestly don't know, Rachel. Maybe there's nothing we can do.”

“But what about my students?”

“What about them? What are they doing now?”

“I'm not sure. I've been so busy trying to save the building that I haven't kept in touch.” As she stood thinking, the wind blew her hair around her face. His hand itched to push the wayward strand behind her ear, to run his fingers through the length of it, to kiss the frown from her lips. Just then, she looked up and they were connected for one moment by an unseen force. It lasted only a moment before she turned away. He cleared his throat.

“Maybe you should talk to your students and see what they need. Maybe they don't need this building at all.”

She looked at him, and he could see the spark again in her eyes. “It's a place to start anyway. I'm not doing any good standing out here.”

“Me either. I guess I should get back to work.” She nodded and headed back toward her apartment. She had only gone a few yards before she turned back.

“Randy!” She paused. “Thanks.” She gave a little wave and then took off at a run. He gave a halfhearted
wave and whispered, “You're welcome.” Then he
headed back to the samples. He seemed to remember a paint sample the color of the sky on an autumn day. Just like Rachel's eyes.