Plain Proposal (27 page)

Miriam knew that she needed to remind her parents that she was in her
rumschpringe
, and that according to the
Ordnung
, she had a right not to get baptized and to seek out a life among the
Englisch
. Fear kept her from doing just that. Everything her parents said only magnified her anxiety about going. She needed her family’s support. She needed their blessing.

“I can still have a nice home and
kinner
,” she said in a whisper between sobs.

“No.” Her father crossed his arms across his chest. “You will not leave with Saul.”

Miriam hung her head and cried. She needed Saul, but she needed her parents too.

Rebecca pulled back the covers and got into bed. She snuggled up against Aaron who had his head buried in a book. She’d prayed a lot since their conversation with Miriam, and the guidance she felt she was receiving from God surprised her. She felt called to share her feelings with Aaron.

“Aaron. . .”

“Ya?”
He didn’t take his eyes from his reading.

“We cannot keep her here against her will.” She eased away from him, fluffed her pillow behind her, then crossed her ankles beneath the covers. “Besides, I thought you said you saw this coming, her seeing Saul.”

Aaron closed the book. “
Ya
, I did. I’ve known for years those two were smitten with each other. One only has to watch them for a few minutes when they are in the same room to know that.” Aaron looked at her for a moment, a hurt expression clouding his face. “But I never thought Saul would drag our only
dochder
away from the only place she’s known.” He paused, then scratched his head. “And to go be a cook. What kind of man goes to be a cook?”

Rebecca stifled a grin, although not one thing about this situation was funny.

“You told me to be firm, Rebecca. So I was.”

She rubbed his arm. “
Ya
, you were.” Rebecca’s heart hurt for Miriam. But how could her daughter be in love? Surely she wasn’t old enough. She sighed, recalling how she was the same age when she fell in love with Aaron. “But,
mei lieb
, we cannot stop her.”

Aaron twisted to face her. “Why are you soft about this now? You don’t want her to leave.” He gave his head a taut nod. “We will stop her.”

“She has free will, Aaron. We have to trust God to guide her.”

“Is this the same woman who told me to make sure our
dochder
didn’t leave the community?”

“I’m scared, Aaron. And I know you’re scared too. Because usually where Miriam is concerned, you are a big ol’ softie.” She put her head on his shoulder. “But if she ends up leaving, we cannot shun her. It wouldn’t be right.”

“You sound like you’ve already given up. I will not give up.”

“I’m not giving up either, Aaron. But. . .” She gazed into her husband’s eyes. “Can you bear to see your only
dochder
with a broken heart?”

“If it means keeping her in the community, then
ya
. . . I can.”

“
Ach
, Aaron. You don’t mean that.”

“If she chooses to leave with that boy, she will get no help from me. I’m not surprised that Saul Fisher is her choice for a spouse, but I always thought that boy would stay here.” He shook his head. “How wrong I was.”

Rebecca leaned up and kissed her husband. “We are both forgetting everything that we know and believe in,
mei lieb
. Everything is God’s will. It’s in His hands. We will have to trust that everything will work out.”

Aaron sighed. “When you put it that way, I know you’re right.” He pulled Rebecca close. “But it scares me, the thought of our baby girl leaving.”

Rebecca put her hand on her heart. “Me too.”
And I plan to pay a visit to Saul Fisher as soon as possible
.

Shelby wasn’t sure what to say to Miriam. Her cousin had been crying on and off all afternoon since her talk with her parents. No one said much at supper, and after helping clean up the kitchen, both Miriam and Shelby headed upstairs.

“I don’t understand, though. I thought you got to choose if you wanted to stay or not.” Shelby reached into her purse and pulled out her diary.

Miriam sniffled, then frowned. “You haven’t written in that in a long time. Why are you writing in it?”

Shelby pulled the cap off of her pen. “I just feel like it. Maybe because I haven’t written in it in a long time.”

“I thought—I thought that you were happier now, and—and talking to God instead of that book.”

Shelby briefly wondered if Miriam had looked at her diary. “It’s not the same. Sometimes I just like to voice my thoughts to...” She paused, thought for a moment, then closed the diary, realizing that she
had
been voicing her thoughts—to God. “Maybe you’re right.” She dropped it back in her purse, then sighed. “So what are you going to do about you and Saul? Are you still going to go?”

“I love him. I’m going wherever he wants to go.”

Shelby thought for a moment. “Is it really fair of him to ask you to leave here, though?”

“He didn’t ask. He said he would never ask me. I offered.”

“Hmm. . .” Shelby crossed her legs beneath her and faced Miriam on the other bed. “Will you be shunned by your family, like your Uncle Ivan was?”

Miriam sat taller as she dabbed at her eyes. “Well, I shouldn’t be, that’s for sure. I’m not baptized. Neither is Saul. We should both have the freedom to choose.” She started to cry again. “
Mei daed
has never spoken to me like that.”

“You’d be leaving in less than a month. It doesn’t sound like your parents are going to help you get married, either.” Shelby cringed when Miriam started to cry harder. “I’m sorry. I guess I shouldn’t have said that.”

“I’m scared. And I need my family’s blessing. I don’t know how I can leave without it. But I don’t know how I can live without Saul in my life, either.”

They were quiet for a few moments.

“Are you sure you can be happy away from here, Miriam? The
Englisch
world, as you call it, can be a scary place.” She uncrossed her legs and dangled them over the side of the bed. “Hey, would Saul reconsider and stay here?”

“I’m not asking him to give up his dream.”

“What about your dreams, Miriam?”

She smiled. “I just want to be with Saul. We will build dreams together.”

Shelby thought about the time she’d been spending with Jesse and what good friends they were becoming. He wasn’t like the guys back home. Jesse was polite, never pushy, and seemed interested in what she had to say. And more than once he’d said he wondered what it would be like to live away from here.

Was he just making conversation or would he really consider leaving this peaceful place? Shelby was starting to feel like her heart was back in a dangerous place. Maybe it would be best to stop spending so much time with Jesse—for both their sakes.

14

I
T TOOK SEVERAL MORE DAYS BEFORE
R
EBECCA FOUND
the right time to go see Saul. It was later in the evening but well before dark, and everyone was occupied after supper. Aaron and the boys were milking the cows and taking care of things in the barn. Miriam and Shelby were doing whatever they did up in that bedroom for hours each evening after their chores were done.

Rebecca couldn’t help but worry about what sort of plans might be in the works. Was Miriam secretly planning a wedding, perhaps even somewhere far away? Rebecca’s heart broke at the thought of not seeing Miriam get married, and she was equally as upset for Miriam, who moped around the house, barely speaking to anyone—except Shelby.

She thought about her first phone call with Shelby’s mother. There was an urgency in the woman’s voice, as if Shelby would never mend unless she was sent far away from friends who were causing her to make bad choices.

One thing that bothered her a lot was the lack of communication between Shelby and her parents. She’d asked Shelby about it, but the girl just shrugged and looked away, commenting that she had talked to each of her parents a few times.

Rebecca shook her head. She couldn’t imagine Miriam being away from her for one day, much less two months—with barely any conversation. Divorce must affect people in strange ways, Rebecca assumed, but to put oneself first over the well-being of one’s children—well, it just seemed wrong.

She pulled into the Fisher driveway, surprised not to see anyone outside. This was Rebecca’s family’s favorite time of night. As soon as Aaron and the boys got through with the cows and secured things up for the night, they’d often sit on the porch and watch the sun set, or sometimes Aaron would even join the boys for a game of basketball. Miriam used to join in for those activities often as well, and Rebecca loved to sit and watch her family enjoying some fun after a hard day’s work.

After parking the buggy, she tethered the horse to a pole by the fence. She hadn’t taken two steps when Saul’s two brothers came tearing across the yard from the barn. Breathless, the boys wound around her and stopped, almost blocking her way.

“Hello, Ruben. Hello, James.” She waited while the boys caught their breath, and as she looked at them, she realized that she hadn’t been here since Sarah and Hannah had died. Zeb and the boys didn’t have any other family, and Rebecca had assumed that the bishop must not push Zeb to hold church service at his house. Rebecca silently reprimanded herself for not coming to check on Zeb and the boys over the years. Surely they would have enjoyed a home-cooked meal. Then she remembered Saul’s job offer, and she doubted Zeb or the boys missed any meals. “I need to talk to Saul. Is he home?”

She hadn’t planned out what she would say, but hopefully God would give her the right words to convince Saul not to take her baby girl away from the only life she’d ever known.

Rebecca looked on as Ruben and James both stuttered, looking back and forth at each other. “He’s busy right now. Can we give him a message?” the older boy, Ruben, finally said.

“There is no message. I need to talk to him. Do you know when he’ll be home?” Rebecca glanced to her right and saw three buggies. Surely the Fisher family didn’t own more than three buggies. “Or is he home and just busy?”

“
Ya
. He’s busy,” James said. Rebecca knew him to be about thirteen now. Handsome boys, both of them. Saul was a nice-looking fellow too, so Rebecca could see Miriam’s attraction, but hadn’t she taught her daughter to look past just charm and looks?