Plain Peace (A Daughters of the Promise Novel) (8 page)

The little tingle of guilt returned, but she knew it would go away. She’d married Isaac before she had an opportunity to have much of a
rumschpringe
. Maybe she wouldn’t have felt the need for such luxuries if she had taken advantage of her running-around period. But honestly, where was the harm?

She glanced around at the items she’d collected over the years, thinking the Lord would understand.

Even if her husband wouldn’t.

A
NNA
’
S HEART WAS HEAVY AS SHE LISTENED TO
J
ACOB
explain about his oldest sister’s death. The more he talked, the more she could feel his pain—and how much his family meant to him. Guilt flooded over her about the way she’d guessed his family to be perfect.

“I don’t remember my parents’ dying, and I just can’t imagine what that must have been like for all of you.”

Jacob took a sip of coffee, set it down, and shook his head. “I’ve burdened you with my problems since we got here. Tell me about your life, your grandparents.”

Anna shrugged. “Well, let’s see. I believe you already know that
mei daadi
is very strict.” She paused as she circled the rim of her cup with her finger. “And
mei mammi
is one of the kindest people there is, even though . . .” Pausing, she met his eyes. “Don’t get me wrong—I know that the man is the head of the household. But
Mammi
keeps a lot of secrets from
Daadi
because she feels he’s too strict about some things.”

“Do you? Think he’s too strict?” Jacob was so easy on the eyes that Anna was finding it hard to keep her thoughts straight.

“Uh,
ya
. I do. But he means well, and he truly loves everyone in
our district.” She pinched off a piece of pretzel and dipped it in cheese sauce. “I could live on pretzels, I think.”

He smiled. “For me, it’s whoopee pies. Leah used to make the best ones.”

Anna pinched another piece but then just sat there, staring at Jacob. He wasn’t just great looking. He was also devoted to his family and sought peace in his heart. But his spirit was broken, and she wondered about his faith. Anna often felt like she was on a battlefield when it came to her faith—God on one side, her grandfather on the other—both shooting directives at her that often clashed. Sometimes what she felt in her heart, what she believed God wanted, was not the same as what her grandfather wanted. But she had to live with her
daadi
, so she tried to balance what she believed was the right way to live.

“It sounds like you and Leah were very close.” Anna finally dipped the pretzel and took another bite.

“
Ya
. I’ll be twenty in March. Leah would have been twenty-one in April.” He took a sip of coffee, a faraway look in his eyes. “She was promised to a
gut
fellow back in Middlefield. He took her death as hard as the rest of us.”

“We don’t have to talk about this anymore if you don’t want to.” Anna took a deep breath and bit her lip. “I mean, I’m enjoying getting to know you, but I don’t want you to feel—”

“
Nee
. It’s
gut
to talk about Leah.” He smiled. “I want to always remember how great she was.” He tipped his head to one side. “You have the same light that Leah had.”

Anna blushed. “Really?”

“
Ya
. You’re easy to be around like she was.”

She hung on the compliment for a few moments, then changed the subject to work, and she learned that Jacob worked at the lumberyard. She told him that she delivered
Mammi’s
baked goods to local bakeries and detailed a bit about her days, the chores she took care of.

Their time together was casual, comfortable, and the most fun she’d had in a long while.

“It’s nearing seven o’clock. I guess we need to go.” Jacob glanced around the diner. “I don’t see our waitress.”

Anna didn’t either, but she recognized the woman walking toward them. Lucy Turner. Lucy’s hair was shorter and a different color now, but this was definitely the
Englisch
woman who’d wrecked Katie Ann and Ivan Stoltzfus’s marriage. Anna never quite knew what to say to her.

“Here’s your check.” Lucy smiled as she put the bill on the table. “Cindy’s shift ended—Oh hi, Anna.”

“Hello, Lucy . . . Um, how’s Benjamin doing?”

Anna and Lucy stumbled through an awkward conversation while Jacob went to pay the check. Lucy hurried off to check on other customers just as Jacob returned. “You know the waitress?” he asked.

“Not well. I babysat for her once.” No point in spreading gossip. Jacob was bound to hear about Lucy Turner soon enough. Anna stood and smoothed the wrinkles from her dress. “
Danki
for the coffee . . . and the company.”

Jacob nodded, and they headed for the exit. Fifteen minutes later they were pulling into Anna’s driveway.

“Ten minutes to spare,” Jacob said as he eyed the clock on his cell phone. Grinning, he added, “Guess this will have to go.”

“
Daadi
is pretty strict about the use of cell phones.” Anna shook
her head as she stepped out of the buggy. Jacob quickly walked around to where she was standing.

“Do you, uh, want to do this again? Maybe go to the pizza place for supper sometime?” Jacob pushed back the tip of his straw hat and kept his eyes on hers.

Anna couldn’t believe it. A real date—one she hadn’t initiated. “Sure.”

Jacob smiled. “What about Saturday?”

“Okay.” Anna suddenly felt tongue-tied and couldn’t even look at him.

“Great. See you then. Four o’clock?”

Anna nodded. “I better go in.”

Jacob just stood there, kicking at the ground for a few moments. They’d talked about so much, it seemed like a hug was in order, but she wasn’t sure what to do. She took a few steps backward, keeping her eyes on him, then gave a quick wave before she turned and ran up the porch steps. She was anxious to tell her grandparents about Jacob and his family.

And she was particularly anxious about Saturday night.

When she walked in, both of her grandparents were standing side by side in the living room, both frowning.

“Isaac, you remember what I told you,”
Mammi
whispered as Anna closed the door behind her.

Her grandfather moved quickly toward her and grabbed her arm. Hard. He’d never done such a thing. “Where have you been?” he asked, his eyebrows drawn in.

“I . . . I was at the coffee shop, and—” She blinked a few times, hoping she wouldn’t cry, but his forceful hold told her she was in big trouble.

“Emma came by looking for you. She said you never made it to the singing, and she was worried about you.”
Daadi
finally let go of her arm, but he threw his next words at her like stones. “You will not see that boy again.”

She put a hand to her heart and blinked back tears. “What? You haven’t let me explain. There was—”

“Go now! Upstairs to your room.” Her grandfather pointed toward the stairs.

Anna looked at her grandmother, but
Mammi’s
hands hung at her sides, and she was staring at the floor.

“There was a reason we didn’t go to the singing, and if you’d just let me—”

Daadi
took a step toward her. He had never hit her except to spank her as a child, but the way his fists were clenched at his sides was enough to send her running to the stairs.

She slammed her bedroom door behind her, and with the mindset of someone half her age, she said aloud, “Oh, I will see him again. And you can’t stop me.”

Marianne glared at her husband before she stomped to their bedroom. Isaac was quickly on her heels.

“Why such a look? Do you want our girl off running wild, going with boys to places we have not approved of? She didn’t go to the singing like she said.”

Marianne sat down on the bed, slipped off her black leather shoes, and slid her socked feet into a pair of slippers. Sighing, she looked up at her husband. “You will push her away from us, Isaac. You didn’t even give the child a chance to explain.”

Isaac pulled his hat off and tossed it onto the bed, then stroked his beard as he sat down beside her. “We don’t know that boy. He should have taken her where he said he was taking her, and that’s all. There is no excuse. And I saw how worried you were when Emma came calling and said she wasn’t at the singing.”

Marianne scratched her forehead, feeling a headache coming on. She’d only had a tiny piece of shoofly pie, but her sugar was surely spiking. She felt a bit dizzy and not in the mood for a confrontation with her husband. Over the years she’d learned to just let things go. But when it came to Anna, she felt inclined to stick up for her granddaughter.

“
Ya
, I was worried, but not terribly alarmed. And Anna came home on time, apparently with an explanation.” She turned to Isaac and frowned. “But you wouldn’t let her speak.”

“Young people Anna’s age need discipline. You know that.”

“Now, Isaac . . . if you’ll recall, we were married by the time we were Anna’s age. She’s eighteen years old, and she’s not even participated in much of a
rumschpringe
, so you need to give the girl some freedoms.”
Or she’ll end up like me—hiding things in the basement
.

Isaac ran his hand the length of his beard again, then stood and walked to the window. He raised the green shade and peered outside. “So much danger out there.”

“But we must trust the Lord to keep Anna safe. That’s all we can do.” Marianne walked to the window and wrapped her arms around Isaac’s waist. She knew what he was thinking.
The way He kept Elam and Suzy safe
.

It had taken Marianne years to get past the deaths of their beloved son and daughter-in-law. She wasn’t sure that you ever really recover from something like that. But she’d made her peace
with it. And with God. Marianne wasn’t sure that Isaac had ever done that. Not really. He ruled with an iron fist, an enforcer of the rules, but with a heart so fragile that if anyone could see inside of him, they’d know the fear that drove him. That was why he reacted so harshly today. He was afraid something would happen to Anna. But their granddaughter wasn’t baptized yet, and Marianne didn’t want Isaac pushing her to a life in the outside world.

Isaac turned to face her. “I still do not want her seeing that boy. He looks like a fancy fellow anyway. He is not right for her.”

Marianne chuckled. Briefly. “
Ach
, Isaac, the boy is very handsome. I can see why Anna wants to get to know him.”

“
Nee
. She will not see him.”

Isaac walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Marianne just shook her head.

It was ten o’clock Sunday evening when Cora’s husband strolled into the bedroom like he hadn’t a care in the world, and it didn’t take her long to recognize the smell of alcohol on his breath. Jake Troyer made the wine in his basement even though the bishop had forbidden it. And it hadn’t taken John long to learn about it once they moved here.

Cora’s chest tightened as she recalled the events of the day. There was the situation with Eli. Plus she’d forgotten about bread in the oven and burned two loaves, then later had to run interference between Mary Jane and Anna Mae when they got into a silly squabble over who would clean the bathtubs. She was exhausted, and the last thing she wanted to deal with was a drunken husband who had disappeared not long after they returned from church.

“Where have you been?” She eased her hands onto her hips and spoke through clenched teeth.

John scratched his nose, then belched as he glared at her. He might as well have slapped her across the face. “Ran some errands.”

“This late? And on a Sunday?” Cora’s heart was pounding in her chest as the possibilities ran through her mind. At Jake’s house? Another woman’s? Drinking out somewhere in public?

“Ya.”
He shuffled to the bathroom and slammed the door behind him.

Cora sat down on the bed, her lip trembling. She was so tired of crying. And so tired of living like this. She knew that
Yankees
sometimes went to a counselor for depression. No. Not
Yankees. Englisch—
that’s what everyone here called the non-Amish. Her friend Barbara, who was
Englisch
, had gone to such a person after her two miscarriages. Maybe John needed someone to talk to. Maybe they all did.