P.J. Morse - Clancy Parker 02 - Exile on Slain Street (27 page)

I shut off the water, started up the stairs and knocked on Patrick’s door. Luckily, he was inside. Lorelai and Topaz had followed, hoping to shove in on my time.

“We have to talk,” I said.

“Then we all talk,” Topaz declared. “I haven’t had half the private time she has!” Lorelai simply smiled and did her best to look seductive.

Patrick’s eyes flickered to each of us, but they returned to me. Maybe I sounded serious for once. “We haven’t had much time lately,” he said.

“No, we haven’t. And I don’t mind if the others get a turn afterward. I really need to talk now.”

“Okay.” He stepped aside so I could walk in. Unfortunately, even though Lorelai and Topaz left, Greg, Tortoise, and Hare had to stay, which meant I still had to choose my words carefully.

Despite the presence of three other guys, I felt like we were alone, and Patrick treated me that way. He pulled me down on the bed and sat beside me, holding my hands. He may have spent plenty of time making out with Lorelai and Topaz, but I noted that his gestures were different with me. I started, “Patrick, I have to ask you something. It’s been on my mind…”

He smiled. “How many women I’ve been with? Twenty-three. I have been told I should have been busier.”

“Wow,” I said. And I meant it. If Shane and Wayne got into rock for the easy women, they sure were behind. “That’s not it. It’s more serious.”

“How about you?”

“If I tell you, will you answer my question? My serious question?”

He leaned in. “Yes.”

“Five. One in high school, two in college, and two afterward. A guy I was in band with, a jazz drummer, a venture capitalist, a lawyer, and an ice cream man.”

“That’s all?”

“That is all.”

“I’m impressed by the ice cream man.”

“Free Popsicles. Anyway, can I ask the question?”

“Go ahead. I was going to try to top you, but an ice cream man? In the truck? You win.”

“Patrick…”

“Okay, okay.”

“Why did Sean kill himself?”

Patrick stopped smiling. “Why do you ask?”

I started picking at the bedspread. “Some friends of mine in Gardenia wanted to know. You might want to keep it private, but he was like Kurt Cobain to me and my friends… and he just — ” I snapped my fingers. “I dunno… he didn’t seem like the suicide type. And it seems to have affected you.”

Patrick held up his hand and looked at Greg, Tortoise and Hare. He looked at Greg for a while, as if he were waiting for permission to say something. Greg shrugged. “No reason why not. The lawsuit was settled.”

I remembered my conversation with Kevin in the car on the way up to Marin County. Kevin said they had lawsuits. And only one made it to settlement. Did the lawsuit have something to do with Sean? I kept my face blank, but it was hard.

Patrick thought for a moment. “Not on camera. Turn off the camera.”

“This could be a dramatic moment, man…” Greg protested.

“Not to his family it isn’t!” Patrick snapped. “If Kevin were here, he would turn it off. Talking about Sean is not in my contract, and if I’m gonna tell Katherine about it, then it is off camera.”

Reluctantly, Hare put down his camera. Tortoise tried to keep his sound going, but Patrick pointed at it, and he promptly shut it off.

Patrick turned to look at me. “It really isn’t for public consumption. Kevin didn’t even plan to do
Atomic Love
at first. They were going to do an
Osbournes
-type show with Sean and his family: how Sean was always trying to do his own thing, fight the label, fight corporate. He wouldn’t have done it if the money weren’t going to Lean, Mean and Green. I couldn’t believe he was going to do it. Before it went to air, he saw an episode and said it made him look like an asshole. And a fucking stalker was bugging him, and that added to it. So he got real emotional, and he drank when he got emotional. If he hadn’t been drunk, he wouldn’t have driven off the cliff. He wasn’t a bad guy… he was just an idealist, and he got disappointed in the world all the time.”

“What about the show?” I’d read plenty of articles about Sean’s death, but not one of them mentioned a show, nor did they mention a stalker. Plenty of them mentioned the drinking.

“Kevin had the whole season in the can. I heard there were some funny scenes when Sean camped out in front of a gas station with Ed Begley, Jr., to raise awareness about electric cars. That would have been hilarious. But Sean said in his suicide note that he wanted it all destroyed. The network still wanted a show, so they called me.”

“And that’s why you did it?”

“Yeah. Haruko made them trash the footage. She didn’t want Rex to see it. I don’t think it was their fault Sean offed himself. She doesn’t, either. But, if Sean said he wanted something done, Haruko did it. She felt bad about screwing Kevin over, so she suggested he do a show with me. She said I could handle cameras better than Sean could.”

No kidding. “But why would Haruko be on the show? If it weren’t for Kevin, Sean would still be alive. She must hate Kevin.” And then something else struck me. “You must hate Kevin.”

Patrick shifted his body away from me on the bed. “No, no, I don’t hate Kevin. It’s not his fault. Sean was self-absorbed. It would have happened with or without the reality show. Sean cared more about himself and his image than feeding his family. Haruko and Rex could use the money. Lean, Mean, and Green could use the money. I give a third of my pay to them! No joke! I could have kept it. If anyone had a right to be pissed at Kevin, it was that stalker. That bitch won’t go away. I don’t know if you heard, but she’s been bugging me…”

“Yeah,” Greg said. “Maybe your stalker’s been bugging you right this minute.” Then his eyes turned accusing.

I gave it right back to him. “Be careful, Greg. You might incriminate yourself. You may not be the stalker, but you had plenty of reasons to kill Kevin. You were fighting over Tina.”

That was when Greg put his arms around me and yanked me off the bed. “No!” I shouted. “It’s not me! That’s why I’m here! Patrick, you should come with me before she shows up…”

Patrick was already backing away from me. He was practically at the end of the bed. He asked, “Do you like me or the Nuclear Kings? Were you a bigger fan of Sean’s?”

I had to tell him everything before Greg forcibly removed me from the room. “No. Kevin hired me to protect you, and I’m going to do my job. We need to leave the house now. Wolf didn’t believe me, and Greg doesn’t believe me, but it’s true.”

Greg started moving faster, calling me crazy under his breath.

I didn’t stop yelling. “Patrick, it’s true! Okay, I lied about being from Gardenia… that was my cover… but I am going to protect you from the stalker! Come with me!”

Patrick backed up toward his bathroom, his hand reaching out toward a lamp, in case he had to throw it at me. “The last time I was alone with you, someone almost died.”

By that point, Greg, Tortoise, and Hare were dragging me out of the room.

Chapter Thirty-Two:
The Last Elimination

B
y the time they got me out of Patrick’s room Tortoise had one of my arms, Hare had the other, and Greg was supervising, as usual. They may have thought I was the stalker, but I was going to protect Patrick regardless. “You’re wrong about me,” I said.

I looked from Greg to Tortoise to Hare. Greg’s face was hard, but Tortoise and Hare were wavering. Hare asked Greg, “Dude, what makes you think it’s her?”

“She doesn’t fit in,” Greg said. “Oh, and that pink notebook in her duffel bag. The one in the stalker’s handwriting.”

I started tugging against Tortoise and Hare. “No! I found it in Dawn’s duffel! Someone planted it there!”

Greg told me, “I’m not letting you out of my sight. You’re not the one who shapes the story. I know you were screwing with Wolf’s head the other day. I should have made Patrick kick you out then, but that idiot said no. Private detective? What the hell kind of bullshit is that?”

At this point, Hare turned against me. “If you were a good private detective, you wouldn’t have said anything.”

Greg said, “We’re going downstairs, and we’re going to kick you off on camera.”

“Patrick!” I screamed.

I didn’t hear a response.

But I remembered that Muriel, Shane, and Wayne said they’d help me get Patrick out of the house, and I was going to call on them. As soon as Tortoise and Hare led me past the bathroom, I stomped on Tortoise’s foot, hard. He let go of me. Then I pushed Hare, and the weight of his camera brought him down to the floor.

“Sorry, fellas,” I said, ducking into the bathroom and locking the door.

The bathroom window faced the woods, and I had to gamble. I threw open the window and started waving my arms like crazy, hoping the Queen of the Forest and her minions would see me.

I considered jumping out, but I would have landed on the patio. I had less of a chance of breaking bones if I had to fight Greg and Hare. Tortoise would be a challenge, but I thought I could outwit him.

I threw open the bathroom door, only to find Greg with his foot raised in the air, as if he were ready to kick it down.

“Can’t a girl powder her nose?” I asked.

Greg tried to jump for me, but I shoved him back, and he almost went over the stairs. Then Lorelai began shrieking from somewhere on the first floor. “Oh my god! He’s naked!”

“What the hell? Get out of here! You’re dirty! That’s disgusting!” Topaz screamed.

I heard heels rushing toward the spiral staircase. “There’s a naked man in the house!”

“And he’s dirty! He smells like pot!” Topaz yelled, her heels clacking also. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Environmental freedom now! Environmental freedom now! Free the woodland creatures!” a male voice yelled. I thought it was Shane, bless him.

At the words “naked man,” Greg, Tortoise and Hare sprang into action, practically diving down the staircase. Tortoise stopped and looked back at me, as if he knew he should keep an eye on me.

I said, “You know they’re wrong.”

Tortoise didn’t say anything, but he went with Greg and Hare in pursuit of the naked man. I felt lucky. The joint Wayne gave Tortoise on the Exes Episode went a long way.

Once Tortoise was gone, I ducked into the closet at the top of the stairs. I had to move fast. I threw open the dresser drawers that led to the passage and ran down the stairs, right for the gun at the bottom.

I saw the loose board and pried it up, relieved that I could at least protect myself if the stalker went after me or the crew tried to throw me out.

But there was nothing under the board. Someone in the house had a gun, and it wasn’t me.

I ran up the stairs and toward the door of the passage that led to Patrick’s room. I heard Topaz yelling, “He’s slippery! I ain’t grabbing him!”

I shoved open the passage door and entered Patrick’s room. He was standing in the regular door to his room, apparently deciding whether or not he should get involved with the mess downstairs. “Patrick, you have to get out of here!” I yelled.

Patrick jumped back and closed the door to his room. He did not look relieved. “How the hell did you know about that passage? Get away from me!” He grabbed a note from the nightstand by the bed and waved it back and forth. It was purple and smelled of Eau De Psycho.

I ran toward him. “You’ve got to get out of here, okay? You wanna know why I asked you about Sean?”

“Why?”

“The person who killed Kevin and hurt Dawn is in this house!”

Patrick didn’t budge. “Are you sure it’s not you?”

I reached for him. “Just let me take you to the road, and you can do whatever you want after that. I will let you go after that, I swear.”

His face softened. I asked, “Do you have a cell phone?”

“Yeah,” he said.

“Then get it, and let’s get out of here. That naked guy is with me.”

“Huh?” he asked.

“I’ll explain later,” I told him. “Let Wolf and the crew deal with whoever’s left over.”

He didn’t move, but I’d drag him out if I had to. I walked to the door to see if anyone was outside. Although the secret passage was the sneakiest way out, the front door was definitely the shortest. Then I heard the door to the secret passage creak. I turned my head and saw Lorelai come through the door, and I was relieved. For a moment, I thought that maybe she was the bodyguard Wolf hired.

Then she shot Patrick in the chest.

Patrick staggered back. I didn’t have a gun, so I picked up the nearest chair and threw it, striking Lorelai in the head. Patrick fell toward the bathroom and started crawling. Lorelai then disappeared back into the secret passage.

Patrick was bloody, horribly bloody. “Her? Her? Get her! Get her!” he kept gasping. “I’ll get a towel… Go! Go before she — ”

More gunfire erupted, this time popping through the bathroom walls. I heard someone scream. Patrick looked at me and said, “I’m sorry.”

I saw his phone on the floor, ran back, and handed it to him. “Call for help! Lock the door behind me!”

He had been digging under the sink. “Wait… wait…” He pulled out a large bottle of bleach and pried open a false bottom. A gun fell out. “Wolf told me to hang on to it. Take it… take it now.”

With Patrick’s gun in hand, I raced down the stairs, keeping myself low and moving along the walls opposite the secret passage. I saw holes in the wall from where Lorelai blasted through them. Of course Kevin told Lorelai about the passage. She had been with him from the beginning, ever since
Bikini Girls Ahoy
. He trusted her and told her everything, and look what he got for it.

“Get down! Lorelai’s got a gun! Hide!” I screamed, hoping someone would hear me.

Greg, Tortoise, and Hare were by the front door. They were all covered in mud. “What now! What now!” Greg was screaming.

“Is this for real?” Hare asked.

“Of course it’s real,” Tortoise snapped.

“Shoot it anyway!” Greg screamed.

“She’s going to shoot you first!” I yelled, crawling on the floor toward the bar. “I told you to get down! Watch the walls — Lorelai’s in the passage! She shot Patrick!”

“What? Who?” Hare asked. “You mean you’re not the stalker?”