Read Pit Bulls vs Aliens Online
Authors: Neal Wooten
Darren’s eyes were open wide. “Uh, Colonel, I’m not sure—”
“That is not a suggestion, Dr. Mitchell. Make it happen.” The colonel turned his attention to Major Strafford. “Where are all the trucks and drivers that brought the pit bulls?”
“About twenty miles north, I think.”
Darren stopped as he was about to enter the command center and turned back. “Colonel, one question. Do we really have a million more pit bulls coming?”
The colonel smiled. “No, son, it’s called a bluff and we’re going to play it without flinching.”
The major laughed. “What’s the plan?”
“Just tell the drivers to stand by. If we can get this message to say what we want it to say, we’ll tell them what to do.”
Everyone walked into the command center. Darren was already on the SATCOM speaking to his boss, Dr. De Luca.
“I know how it sounds,” Darren said. “But we need this as soon as possible, like in an hour.”
Everyone sat around waiting. Two hours later, Dr. De Luca called back. “We have it!” he almost yelled into the radio. “I’m sending it to you now. Be ready to record.”
The mathematical message played as Darren recorded it. He then rigged the speakers on several jeeps again to play the message as loudly as possible.
“Come on, Francisco,” the colonel said. “You and I will take one of the jeeps.”
As the colonel got into the jeep, he nodded to the major. The major got on the radio and contacted the drivers. “Okay, men, bring all the trucks back and circle around and back them in just like you have a full load of pit bulls to unload.”
“Major?” Darren said.
“Yes?”
“I think the enemy might have infrared capabilities.”
The major shook his head. “Oh crap.” He looked around at several soldiers standing nearby and smiled. “Okay, men, get everyone and meet the trucks and get into the trailers and everyone sit down.”
The soldiers laughed and ran to get the others.
Colonel Jamison and Francisco reached the shield. He had the other jeeps spread out wide and all three began playing the recorded message, the huge speakers vibrating as they blared the recording.
Back at the command center, the trucks and trailers came rolling up loaded with soldiers and began backing up as if they were going to unload.
It worked. Suddenly the shield lifted. All of the spikes magically pulled out of the sandy bottom of the beaches and launched into the air. They sped upward and got smaller and smaller in perspective. A loud noise was heard and the wind hit the colonel’s jeep with a force.
“Look,” Darren yelled and pointed to the horizon.
Everyone turned to follow the direction of his finger.
“Oh my,” Sally said.
The huge ship was leaving, and in a hurry. It didn’t even bother to go to stealth mode. It was getting out of here as fast as possible. The gang watched it until it disappeared into the sky, and everybody cheered again.
The colonel breathed a sigh of relief. He drove back to the command center where everyone, including Darren, was jumping up and down.
“We did it, Colonel,” Francisco said.
The colonel nodded and they joined the celebration of happy soldiers, joyful advisors, and ecstatic pit bulls.
“What now, Colonel?” Sally asked.
“We’ll wait to hear from Washington, but I think it’s over. I guess we can all go home,” the colonel said.
“I want to stay and have a look at the alien constructions,” Darren said.
“Me too,” everyone else agreed.
“Makes sense to me,” the colonel said with a smile. “But right now, I think I’m going to bed to see how long I can sleep.” And after giving the news of the victory to General Nickerson, he did just that.
The next day, the Army Corps of Engineers showed up to inspect the buildings.
“They’re magnificent, aren’t they?” one of the engineers said to Darren.
“They really are,” Darren agreed. “The roofs are some sort of solar panel, which not only converts the slightest sun rays to electricity, but also stores it so that the buildings have power overnight. It’s incredible.”
“I don’t know what we will do with all of these,” another engineer said.
Darren looked out over the terrain at all the pit bulls running and playing among themselves. “I think I know what we can do with a lot of these buildings,” he said. “We need a temporary shelter for a whole lot of heroes.”
The engineer smiled. “I think that can be arranged. We’ll get cots, blankets, and plenty of food and water. I have a feeling that they’ll be welcome here as long as it takes.”
“Make sure to set up bathing and grooming areas and provide plenty of treats,” Darren added.
Thomas, who had walked up during the conversation, tapped Darren on the shoulder. When Darren turned around, he raised his eyebrows.
Darren smiled. “Oh, and plenty of chew toys.”
“Looks like love at first sight.”
“You’re right, Colonel,” Darren said as he also looked at Roscoe and Angel, who had crawled up into a chair together and fallen asleep. He then turned to his former assistant, Rebecca, and kissed her on the lips. He looked deep into her beautiful brown eyes. “You’re absolutely right, Colonel.”
Rebecca smiled and kissed him back.
“How did you guys meet?” Belinda, the colonel’s wife, asked.
“We both work for SETI,” Darren explained.
Rebecca nodded. “That’s right. He was my boss.”
“Oh,” Belinda said. “I see.”
“Having fun, Stephen?” the colonel asked.
Dr. McNair was sitting on the hardwood flooring with a margarita in one hand. Glenda Eagle sat between his legs and was leaned back against his chest. She had a bottle of beer in her hand.
“Yes, sir, Colonel,” Dr. McNair said. “Those were your orders, wasn’t it?”
“Affirmative.”
Everyone laughed.
“How about you, Ms. Escamilla?” asked Dr. McNair. “Are you and Maria enjoying yourself?”
“Very much so,” Francisco’s mom said. “I wasn’t sure I would feel comfortable on the water, but it is really nice.”
“Well, it helps that we’re on a brand-new sixty-foot yacht,” Darren said.
“I love it,” said Maria, Francisco’s little sister. “I hope Francisco catches some fish.”
They all looked out on the huge back deck, where Francisco was the only person closely watching a fishing pole mounted into a holder on the back railing. Gentle Beast lay beside him, resting his huge head on Francisco’s foot. These two were inseparable. Gentle Beast didn’t like for Francisco to be more than six inches from him at all times. He was free of bandages but still walked with a limp and probably would the rest of his life. But he was very happy.
“You should be proud of him, Ms. Escamilla,” the colonel said. “He is truly a hero.”
Everyone nodded in agreement as Thomas came up the stairs from the lower deck. “Hero?” Thomas asked. “Is someone talking about me again?”
They all laughed.
“Hey, man, put a shirt on,” the colonel said jokingly. “My wife hasn’t seen a body like that since I was younger.”
“Ha!” Belinda scoffed. “I’ve never seen a body like that.”
This brought about more laughter. There was a great atmosphere aboard the boat. Emmanuel came down the stairs from the upper deck.
“Hey, little man,” Dr. McNair said. “How are you doing?”
Emmanuel smiled. “Great, doc. This is awesome.” He walked over to Maria. “Want me to show you the whole boat?”
Maria’s eyes lit up. “Sure.”
“Just a minute there, you little punk.” Francisco had walked to the back entrance of the cabin, Gentle Beast right by his side. “That’s my little sister.”
Everyone laughed again as Emmanuel held his hands up in surrender. “I was just being friendly.”
“Well, come on back here and show me how to catch some fish, Mr. Friendly.”
As Francisco and Emmanuel reached the back of the boat, bubbles hit the surface, followed by the scuba diver. She removed her mouthpiece and climbed up the ladder.
Thomas met her at the back of the boat with a large beach towel. “Here you go, honey.” After Sally took off the tank, he wrapped the towel around her and pulled her close. “How was it down there?”
“Beautiful,” Sally said. “Why don’t you come down with me next time?”
“Not a chance.”
She laughed as their lips met in a long embrace.
“Hey, get a room you two,” the colonel said.
“Can you teach me how to scuba dive?” Francisco asked.
“I would be happy to.”
“I think you’re crazy,” Dr. McNair stated. “Do you not remember what happened the last time you went diving in this area?”
“I do remember,” Sally said. “But Darren said the aliens are gone and the signal has disappeared. Right, Darren?”
Darren heard his name and stopped kissing Rebecca. “Hmm? What? Oh yeah, they’re long gone. No trace of them.”
“Do you think they’ll return?” Glenda asked.
Darren patted Roscoe and Angel on their heads. “Nope. Not as long as we have our guardians.” He leaned back over and kissed Rebecca again.
Thomas, Sally, Francisco, and Emmanuel all walked into the large cabin and found a seat. There was plenty of room for all of them.
Erique came down the stairs. “Hey, guys,” he said.
“Hey, Erique,” Sally said. “How do you like your new boat so far?”
“Are you kidding?” he joked. “Besides my family, this is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I cannot believe the United Stated government would buy it for me.”
“Yes, who would have thought that the government would ever do anything right,” Glenda said. “But they have really begun to take the overpopulation problem of pit bulls seriously. They’ve passed an emergency measure that no pits are to be euthanized, and they’re drafting a bill to restrict unauthorized breeding.”
“They had better,” the colonel said. “Pit bulls saved the entire planet.”
“That’s true,” Dr. McNair agreed. “I guess pits are not just America’s dog anymore. They belong to the world.”
“At least we have plenty of shelter space now,” Glenda said, “thanks to the aliens.”
“What do you mean?” Belinda asked.
“All the buildings, honey,” the colonel said.
“That’s right,” Glenda said. “Since we now have all this cleared land and the pit bulls were already there, the US government worked with the other countries to use the buildings for shelters. We’re getting thousands of applications every day from people all over the world wanting to adopt one of the pit bulls that saved the planet. It’s all run by Francisco’s friend Ms. Rhonda.”
“She’s great,” Ms. Escamilla said. “They are in good hands.”
Francisco nodded.
“Those buildings are extraordinary too,” Darren said. “The aliens really were advanced in architecture as well. Not only can the building be erected with limited tools in a very short time, the entire roof is one giant solar conductor strong enough to provide power to the building even on stormy days. As soon as the building is set up, it already has electricity. It’s ingenious.”
“Well,” Erique said, looking at his watch, “it’s almost time.”
He turned and walked back up the stairs. Everyone got up and followed. Once on the upper deck, Erique went on up to the captain’s station while everyone else found a place along the railing of the top deck and looked out over the water.
In the distance, they could see two US battleships. Beyond that, although it was just open water, Sally, Thomas, Dr. McNair, and Erique knew the area well. It’s where the aliens’ wall had been constructed underwater.
The colonel pointed to the area and moved his finger slowly southward. “They tell me there are twenty-four nuclear subs under us right now awaiting launch orders.”
“We’re about to set the world back on path,” Dr. McNair said.
“Amen,” Thomas said.
“Amen indeed,” the colonel echoed.
Several seconds passed as everyone stared toward the area past the battleships. Then it happened. A large blast of water shot several hundred feet into the sky, followed by another to the south, and another, until the blasts could no longer be seen. The sound of each torpedo slamming into the rock wall still carried well across the water, however, and everyone stayed until all ninety-six were heard, four from each submarine.
“Here’s to cooler days,” Dr. McNair said and raised his glass.
Everyone joined in on the toast, including Angel, Roscoe, and Gentle Beast, who barked their agreement.
Meanwhile, in a huge spacecraft swiftly leaving the Milky Way, the military leader of the alien forces was hearing it from the alien king, in their own language of course.
“You got beat by a bunch of primitive little people!” the king shouted as he walked around the great chamber. His robes flowed behind him and a crystal crown shone on his head. All of the royal subjects were there, as well as all the different commanders and leaders. “All of our time and resources wasted. I should have you terminated for incompetence.”
The military leader stood with his head fixed, his eyes looking straight ahead but not focusing on anything. He didn’t say a word, only taking his punishment in stride.
“What do we do now?” the king asked.
No one said anything.
He looked at his scientific leader. “Answer me!” he yelled. “What do we do next?”