Pigeon English (22 page)

Lydia: ‘Say cheese!’

You have to say cheese when somebody snaps you, it’s how you get the right face. Lydia kept snapping everything. Me smiling. Me driving my car. Mamma and Auntie Sonia squeezing each other. Auntie Sonia’s tree. Julius drinking his kill-me-quick and looking hutious. The picture of Nana Acheampong on the wall in the kitchen. Through the spyhole in the door that just came out like a blur.

I was going to ask her to snap you but I then I remembered you don’t like having your picture taken. Nobody else saw your shadow go past the window, I was the only one watching. Don’t let them see you, I just want you to be mine. I like it better that way, that’s all. If Mamma sees you she’ll only take you away from me.

I got a remote-control car even if it wasn’t my birthday. Asweh, it’s so dope-fine, it goes superfast. You actually steer it with the remote control. There’s no wires. It’s like a beach buggy. There’s no walls, just a frame so you can see the little man inside who drives it. It’s red and silver and it goes a hundred miles an hour.

I was no good at driving it at first, I kept crashing into the wall.

Me: ‘Stop snapping me, you’re making me crash!’

Lydia: ‘Stop crashing, you’re making me snap you!’

Lucky there’s a big bumper at the front so when you crash the car doesn’t get smashed up. I practised in the corridor outside Auntie Sonia’s flat. The car drives well on every type of ground. I tried it on the carpet and on the tiles and it went proper fast. The tyres are proper big with deep grips so it doesn’t get stuck. I want to try it on every type of ground. Sand and mud and grass and everywhere. I bet it will be brilliant on the snow. I swear by God, as soon as the snow comes, I’ll be the first one there. Then I’ll have all the snow for myself before everybody’s feet destroy it. I’m going to throw my first snowball at Vilis. I want to get him on the face. I swear by God, it will just be too sweet.

Do pigeons fly south for the winter?

I go wherever you go.

That’s good! You can sit in the tree and watch me throw my snowballs.

Julius was fixing the Persuader, putting new tape on the grip where the old tape was all flaky from sweat and too much hitting. He did it proper slow and gentle like the bat was a one-leg pigeon and he was sticking a new leg on.

Me: ‘Could you actually knock their head all the way off?’

Julius: ‘I don’t know about that, but you can definitely make a mess. You can give them brain damage if you do it right. One fellow, I pinged him on the head and his eyes went stupid straight away, it was like a light switching off. I broke his brain, you could tell. His voice went really slow and he started drooling, just from one little tap in the right place. The sweet spot. It’s his own fault, he should pay his debts like everybody else. He’s a vegetable now, he has to wear a napkin like a baby.’

Julius did a big messy laugh. Mamma just washed the plates faster like she was trying to scrub the sin off them. I’d rather be killed with the Persuader than with a knife. A knife’s too sharp, it tears too much spirit up. A bat’s rounder so more spirit stays together. Then you get to Heaven quicker and there’s less mess for your Mamma to clear up. It doesn’t matter if it breaks your brain, you’ll get it back. It’s the spirit that’s most important.

Auntie Sonia’s baby tree looked even smaller than before. The leaves were all shiny like a burn. It can’t get rain if it’s inside all the time. I fed it some water when nobody was looking. The water just disappeared between the stones in the pot, it didn’t even grow.

I had to do a message for Mr Smith. I didn’t want to do it. It might be a trick. Sometimes the teacher gives you a message just to test you.

Anthony Spiner: ‘One time Mr Smith gave me a message. I opened it and guess what it said?’

Me: ‘What?’

Anthony Spiner: ‘Stop reading this message. That’s all it said. It was a trick.’

Lincoln Garwood: ‘That’s sneaky, man. I hate Mr Smith, he’s a dick.’

I didn’t look at the message, I just took it straight to the front office. I didn’t feel like being tricked, that’s all. I saw her when I came back. I never met her before, I think she’s in Year 10. She always wears a white head-tie. She was kneeling down on the floor. She even had a sheet. It was right there in the corridor. Her eyes were closed and everything. I had to stop.

I just watched her. It was very relaxing. I had to keep proper still. I had to be extra quiet or I’d ruin it. I tried not to breathe. I didn’t want it to stop.

I could see her lips move but I couldn’t hear the words. Sometimes she bent forward until her head was nearly on the ground. She made everything go proper slow. It made me sleepy just from watching it. I wanted to ask her what she was praying for but I swallowed the words back down again.

You knew it couldn’t be bombs. You knew it had to be something good.

I just watched from behind the wall. There was nobody else around. It was the best kind of quiet. I even forgot about going back to class. I would have joined in but I didn’t want to ruin it.

When the head-tie girl finished praying she opened her eyes and stood up. I turned around sharp-sharp and went back down the corridor. I tried not to make a sound. I didn’t want her to see me. I didn’t want her to know I was there for if it ruined it. I waited until she was gone, then I came back to life. I held my breath when I went past the bit she was praying in. I walked around the outside so I didn’t tread on it.

When I got around the corner Killa was coming the other way. He saw me before I could do anything. He got me in the toilets. It happened too fast to stop it. He trapped me between the sinks. He had a craft knife from art and he was pointing it right at me.

Killa: ‘I want my fingerprints back. They’re mine. What did you do with them?’

Me: ‘I threw them away, they didn’t even stick properly. It was only a joke.’

Killa pushed me against the wall. My head banged proper loud off the paper-towels machine. The light coming through the window lit the edge of the knife up like the craziest sunshine, it made me go blind. I closed my eyes and got ready for the burning. Everything went quiet. The world stopped. When Killa’s voice came back it was cracked like a lie. It always goes like that when you try to be hutious before your blood has caught up.

Killa: ‘Don’t mess with my shit, yeah? It’s none of your business. You can’t prove nothing anyway. Just drop it before you get yourself in some serious trouble, yeah?’

He pushed me proper hard into the paper-towels machine, then he split. I felt my head for blood but I couldn’t find any. I just waited for my breath to come back. I was only a little bit wobbly. There was a black smudge on my shirt from Killa’s dirty hands. They shouldn’t be allowed to put their dirt on you. They shouldn’t be allowed to step in someone else’s quiet, it’s just not fair. The wet in my pant was only sweat from where it was hot outside.

In England they celebrate summer coming by everybody opening their windows wide up and putting their music on proper loud. It’s a tradition. That’s how you know it’s summer. You have to do it when the sun first comes out. Everybody does it together.

They put their flag out as well. If you have a flag, you have to put it out at the same time. Then everybody knows you belong there and summer has come.

The music’s not all the same, it’s all different kinds. When I got near the flats I could hear a hell of different musics all mixed up together. It felt lovely. It made me want to dance. I was smiling from ear to ear, I couldn’t even help it.

I even joined in. I got the CD player from Mamma’s room and put my Ofori Amponsah CD on. I played Broken Heart, it’s my favourite. I wanted everybody to hear it. I opened my window and held the CD player outside.

Me: ‘Hello! It’s Harri! This is my music! I hope you like it!’

Then I got scared for if I dropped it so I took it back inside. I hope everybody heard my song, our CD player doesn’t go so loud. Then Lydia needed it back. It’s her birthday and she has two new CDs to listen to.

Lydia: ‘Hurry up!’

Me: ‘I’m bringing it! Keep your hair on!’

Mamma: ‘Don’t vex her. I’ll give your piece of cake to the pigeons.’

Lydia’s cake is only chocolate. I’m getting a Spiderman cake for my birthday. Lydia’s presents from home came in a big box. I beat her to the door. We were both waiting proper carefully but Lydia had to go and greet the chief and that’s when the door knocked. The postman gave the box to me. I was going to keep it at first. I only gave in because it’s her birthday.

Lydia: ‘Hands off! I go sound you!’

Me: ‘In your dreams!’

I snapped it all on Lydia’s phone: her holding the box. Her opening the box. Inside the box. There wasn’t just one present, there were lots. There were two CDs from Abena, one of Michael Jackson and one of Kwaw Kese.

There were earrings from Grandma Ama. They were just circles. They were made of real gold (you can tell real gold by biting it. If there’s no teeth marks left behind then it’s real gold).

Lydia: ‘Get my earrings out of your mouth, you’re getting spit all on them!’

Me: ‘Do you want me to test them or not?’

Lydia: ‘Not!’

There was a picture of Agnes’s hand. It looked lovely. It’s very easy: they just put the paint on her hand and then held it on the paper. They helped Agnes write her name. It’s the same way I learned to write my name: they just put the pencil in my hand and then moved it for me. The letters come out all lovely and wobbly like a spider wrote it.

Papa made Lydia a dancer from wood. I think it’s supposed to be her. It looks just like her but not the face. He doesn’t know she gave up dancing. She keeps forgetting to smile.

She started crying.

Me: ‘I’ll have it if you don’t want it. I can swap it at school. I might even get a disco watch for it.’

Lydia: ‘Don’t disturb!’

Me: ‘Why be like that?’

Mamma: ‘She’s missing her papa, that’s all. Don’t vex her.’

Me: ‘Don’t be sad. It’s your birthday. Your nose is all snotty.’

Lydia: ‘Shut up!’

Mamma: ‘Harrison, just leave her.’

I had to make Lydia laugh. If I didn’t make her laugh, the whole day would be finished. I thought of all the cheering-up words I’ve learned. I was going to try them all until one of them worked.

Me: ‘Come on, sweetheart. Chin up.’

Nothing. Not even a tiny smile.

Me: ‘Turn your frown upside down. You know it makes sense.’

Nothing again.

Me:

‘You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

You make me happy when things are gay.’

Mamma: ‘Harrison! Enough with the gay.’

Lydia: ‘Stop it.’

She made a little smile, I saw it. I was going to do it. I had to save the day. I just needed one more try.

Me: ‘Rub a dub dub, no need to blub. I love you from the heart of my bottom.’

Lydia: ‘Stop it!’

Me: ‘Got you! I win!’

Lydia did a big laugh. She couldn’t hold it in anymore. I love it when I save the day. I didn’t even need the points. I let her keep them.

Me: ‘Do you want my present? You have to follow me, it’s outside.’

Lydia: ‘Gowayou. I’m not falling for another trick.’

Me: ‘It’s not a trick, I promise.’

Mamma: ‘Don’t look at me, I have nothing to do with this.’

Me: ‘Just come on, scaredy cat!’

In the end Lydia had to come, the secret got too big for her to forget. I went in front and she followed me. We both held our breaths when we went down the stairs.

Lydia: ‘Where are we going?’

Me: ‘You’ll see. Just trust me.’

We got to the back of our tower, then I made us stop. Lydia looked all around for her present. She looked up in the trees and under the cars and in the windows. She even looked under the bin. She was very confused. She didn’t even know what she was looking for. It felt brutal.

Lydia: ‘Just give me my present and let’s go! Where is it?’

Me: ‘Right in front of you.’

They built a new ramp to the back of our tower so the wheelchairs can go up and down. We only saw it this morning when the council man came with his cement mixer. Dean dared me to climb inside it but I wasn’t taking any chances, I knew it would be deadly sticky. I knew straight away what I was going to do. Asweh, holding the secret in all day nearly made me go crazy!

The cement was still wet. The council man was gone for his chop. If you were going to do it, it had to be now. You couldn’t plan it any better.

Lydia: ‘What am I supposed to be doing here?’

Me: ‘Just jump. It’ll be brutal. Your footprints will get stuck and when it dries they’ll be trapped forever. Then the ramp will belong to us and the whole world will know it. Not just the ramp, the whole tower. You have to jump quite hard though. You have to mean it.’

Lydia: ‘That’s stupid. I’m not jumping in that.’

Me: ‘Go on! It will only take one second! You put your footprints in it and I’ll write your name next to them so everybody knows. We’ll both do it. I’ll go first.’

I got all my blood together and stood in the right place, then I did a proper powerful jump onto the ramp with both my feet in a line. I tried to focus all the weight of my body down into the cement.

Lydia: ‘It looks like you’re doing a shit.’

Me: ‘It’s the best way. Just watch me.’

I counted to ten. I did a little twist to squeeze the last of the footprints out into the cement, then I jumped back off the side so I didn’t mess it up. It worked a treat. It was perfect. My footprints were there in the cement, lovely and straight and new. You could even see the Diadora sign from the bottom of my Diadoras. You could see all the patterns and everything. It felt brutal.

Me: ‘It’s quite hard to get out again. The cement wants to stick to you. You have to give it more blood when you jump off. Your turn.’

Lydia: ‘You’re so lame.’

Me: ‘Just do it, lazy face! You can’t give a present back if somebody plans it for you. It’s like saying you hate them.’

Lydia: ‘OK, OK!’

Lydia pretended to be red-eyes but she wasn’t fooling anybody. She gave it as much blood as me. She went into the shitting shape and built a proper big jump up. She landed right next to my footprints. She even counted to ten, I could see her lips moving.