Pierced by a Sword (30 page)

Nathan Payne was about to experience the event which Our Lady of Garabandal foretold. The entire world would experience it during the Great Tribulations. Nathan was about to experience his own personal version of the Great Warning.

Fortunately for Nathan, the Divine Furnace into which God was about to cast His anvil was fired by the Merciful
Love of God–not the fires of His Awesome Wrath.

In the distance, sirens wailed like women keening along a steep, rocky path; but Nathan did not hear them.

5

Early Friday Morning
13 October
Salt Lake City, Utah

Slinger sat in his pajamas in the den of his home, wiping the sleep from his eyes. He didn't mind taking calls from other time zones so late at night.

"Yeah, so you listened to the CD I
sent you. What did you think?" Karl Slinger waited patiently for the CEO of Hawaii's largest agricultural corporation to answer his question. The man on the other end of the line had often hunted with Karl on the Slinger Ranch in Wyoming.

The answer came. An expression of frustration came over his open face.

"Thanks... Uh hum. I understand," Karl said, dejected. "Thanks for hearing it out. Yeah.
We'll have to do that sometime. Give Kathy my best." Slinger paused. "Yes, Dottie would love that. I'll tell her."

Slinger hung up, exerting effort not to slam the handset down. It was the eighteenth such call in the last several days.

They tell me politely, indirectly. A few tell me straight out–and I appreciate that. But they all say the same thing: "Are you out of your mind, Slinger?" What
will it take to convince these guys?

6

Early Friday Morning
13 October
Verona, New Jersey

Father Chet awoke from a sound sleep. He looked at the alarm clock and winced. Before he could fall off to sleep again, he remembered.
Dad used to say that when you wake up suddenly in the middle of the night, somebody needs your prayers. Somebody you know. Wonder who it is? Becky?

Becky had called him earlier
in the day for some spiritual direction, wanting to know if it would be okay to attend daily Mass.

"You don't need permission," he had told her enthusiastically. "That's the Holy Spirit prompting you. Saint John Vianney once said it was the greatest grace you could receive–the desire to receive Holy Communion every day. Go for it Beck!"

The weary priest, clad only in his paisley pajamas–a gift
from his mother–got out of bed and lowered his knees onto the kneeler. The kneeler faced a wall with only a crucifix upon it. He began to pray a Rosary for a Catholic he did not know.

7

Early Friday Morning
13 October
Salt Lake City, Utah

Lee Washington thanked the driver as he got out of the car and promised to pray for him. He pulled from his pocket the wooden rosary beads the old priest on
the reservation had given him. He was standing on the corner of B Street and South Temple Street. He looked up at the Cathedral of the Madeleine with its twin stone towers. Lee knew it was open at this early hour because he saw a homeless man going into the front door. He entered the Cathedral and found his way to the Blessed Sacrament, which stood alone in a large Gothic tabernacle behind a wooden
chancel screen behind the altar. Kneelers surrounded three sides of the tabernacle in an unusual arrangement.

Upon seeing that this Eucharistic chapel was empty, Lee thought to himself,
I'm alone.
Then, looking at the tabernacle, he corrected himself.
Except for you, Jesus. Except for you.

Lee knelt down and took a moment to look around at the beautiful woodwork on the walls and the painting of
Mary Magdalene looking up to the crucifixion in anguish.

He felt a strong urge to pray for a fellow Catholic.

I don't know any Catholics,
he told himself, amused.
Oh well. I'll pray for the person who needs my prayers the most.

8

Early Friday Morning
13 October
South Bend, Indiana

Joe Jackson slept diagonally on the king-size bed he had purchased at the Goodwill years before. His apartment on
Eddy Street was small and sparsely decorated. Despite the wealth he earned playing professional football, he owned very few material things. Most of his money had gone into financing the Kolbe Foundation. A windup alarm clock ticked loudly next to the glass of water he kept on the night stand. He snored. His nose had been broken four times and it was rarely uncongested, despite two reconstructive
surgeries.

On the floor next to his bed were his two oversized, top quality basketball sneakers–one of the few luxuries Joe allowed himself. There were two pebbles in one shoe and there was one pebble in the other. Joe almost always kept a pebble in at least one shoe as a reminder to himself of the pain and suffering Jesus endured on the cross for his sins. Three years earlier Joe had begun a
practice–known only to himself–of offering the pain from a pebble for any new Knights of Immaculata he personally helped enroll. Each new Knight would receive nine days of reparation.

On Tuesday he had dedicated a pebble each for Becky, Karl, and Nathan–making it uncomfortable to stand for more than a few minutes because he could no longer shift his weight from one shoe with a pebble to the other
as he had done in the past.

9

Early Friday Morning
13 October
Chicago, Illinois

Joanie punched her credit card number into the pay phone, looking over her shoulder out of habit to make sure no one was trying to steal her car. The gas station was closed for the night, and she was cold and tired. It was time to call Denny on his separate line, according to plan. Denny had his own line for business
purposes. Joanie had driven the streets near Nathan's apartment for over an hour looking for him. His apartment had been empty.

"Joanie?" It was a woman's voice.

"Is that you, Mom? Why are you answering Denny's line? Did he make it home okay?" Joanie was too strung out to give Anne Wheat a chance to answer each question.

"Denny's fine, Joanie. He's flying back to Evanston even as we speak to pick
you up," her mother paused for only a moment. "You've got to get back to the airport. Nathan Payne's had a car accident. Here in South Bend on the tollway. He's been taken to Saint Joseph Hospital." Anne's voice was soothing. The mother knew that every word hurt her daughter.

Joanie's world began to spin. For the second time this morning she fought back tears, ignoring her emotions, struggling
to control herself.
Nathan needs me.

"When? What happened, Mom?"

"I don't know many details–just that it's serious. We got a call from the state patrol. Nathan was saying your name when they found him. Trooper McDonough knows your father. Denny's coming to pick you up. You've got to get back to the airport, now."

Joanie held back a sob. "I'm on my way. I love you, Mom. I love him, too. Good-bye."
Joanie hung up the phone.

She was not able to hold back tears. Her vision blurred as she drove quickly through the empty streets of Rogers Park and Evanston. She ran three red lights. While Nathan had reacted to his accident with anger, Joanie reacted without a trace of that emotion. She was well beyond blaming God for misfortune.

"Please God, don't let him die. Don't let my Nathan die!"

10

The
Beatific Vision, Heaven

Sister Leonardo was again called forth by the Mind of God to intercede on behalf of her former student, Nathaniel Payne. She welcomed the young man into the Ocean of God's Love, knowing from personal experience that God's Love could burn as well as soothe.

Chapter Thirteen

1

Early Friday Morning
13 October
Indiana Tollway, Indiana

Moments after challenging God, Nathan fell out of time into the Eternal Now. He was aware that his physical pain was gone. He felt himself turning and flipping, and sensed heat and light in the distance. Then he came to a stop on a ground he could not see, standing on legs he could not look down upon. He saw a swirling
cloud which gradually dissipated.

As the cloud dissipated he saw forming in front of him the Cross of Calvary, with his Savior upon it. There was a sound of thunder and whistling wind all around him. Nathan looked upon the man in front of him and comprehended the perfect mathematical symmetry of His limbs. Nathan simply knew that Jesus was perfect and sinless. A Man of Sorrows.

Jesus spoke to
Nathan from the Cross:

"Do not be afraid. Son of man, behold your sins!"

All of Nathan's awareness and perception became focused on the wound in Jesus' side which poured forth blood and water, and then light. The light grew and Nathan saw things as God sees, not in chronological succession, but all at once, each in particular. What Nathan saw was perceived as a layered field–a field where everything
came into his mind completely.

He was aware of God's total goodness and perfection. He was bathed in His awesome love. The young man felt that there was a wall preventing that love from fully touching him, as if it would destroy him; God's love was ready to roll over him like a giant wave. The knowledge of that love overwhelmed him and filled him with Hope such as he had never hoped on earth.
Then:

Layers changed, and Nathan saw a field covered with each of his venial sins. He was aware of their venial nature–that these sins had not condemned him to hell. There were thousands of these sins. He saw them not as a human being looks at a field of grass and sees the whole field, but as God sees the field: each and every blade of grass completely and at the same time.

Nathan saw himself
in the act of these sins, watching himself commit each sin like watching thousands of movies at the same time. He watched himself steal office supplies such as pens, notepads, and staples from VV&B for his desk at home; he stole minutes of time from his employer during the pizza delivery job he had taken at college; sneaking into the movies alone through the back exit door as a lonely teenager in
Chicago. He stole candy from the corner store several times until he was caught by the proprietor. Nathan, who had despised the proprietor at the time, was suddenly filled with gratitude toward the old man, Mr. Cohen. How easily he had forgotten what he had learned during religion class in first grade: that stealing was wrong.

Nathan saw himself as a five-year-old, spitefully refusing to speak
to Babsie when she asked little Nathan if he wanted another hot dog at the school fair. At the time, he knew his insolence would hurt her. He perceived hundreds of other times throughout his life when he had taken pleasure inflicting pain on others through his silences–to friends, teachers, fellow workers, girlfriends. He knew his motive for these deeds with perfect clarity: to make sure others felt
pain because he felt no pleasure.

Layers changed and Nathan saw a field of images filled with lies. He saw himself telling a lie to Charlie VanDuren to avoid blame for a minor error at VV&B–then slyly placing the blame on his secretary, Sally Mortimer. He saw hundreds of other lies that detracted from others and served to elevate himself in the esteem of others. He saw the many times he had exaggerated
his triumphs and downplayed his failures–however slightly–while speaking to others. He saw the times he had shaded the truth while dealing with clients at VV&B–lies that are accepted in the securities industry as a matter of course. He saw himself lying about little facts on his tax return. Nathan even saw two incidents of lying to Joanie. One time he had lied to her about his childhood
out of fear that she would reject him. Nathan had considered remaining silent or telling the truth to Joanie, but had decided that lying was the easy way out. (Somehow Nathan was also aware that he had committed few lies compared to others...)

The field layered again. He relived, with more acute perception, every sharp and sarcastic word he had ever spoken to another human being. These words appeared
as tiny daggers that cut the skin of those he hurt. He saw a field filled with bleeding people–people he had cut with his sharp tongue.

The field changed again. He was staggered by the largest and longest fields of venial sins–the countless times a small act of kindness could have helped someone else, but instead he had chosen
not
to perform such acts. One in particular caused him great anguish
and sorrow: in sixth grade he had a chance to compliment Dewey Johnson during a boxball game on the playground after little Dewey made a great play. The words of praise had almost come out of Nathan's mouth–but Dewey was held in derision by the other children. Nathan, fearful of losing the esteem of those who thought Dewey was a loser, stopped himself from uttering a simple word of praise.

"Sins
of omission,"
Nathan heard his Savior explain.

Nathan was outside of Time; he perceived each sin quickly, yet each and every one with total comprehension.

All these minor offenses against God were plain to Nathan. He now understood that the laws of right and wrong had been written on his heart before he was born. Now that original sin did not cloud his perception, Nathan was horrified by these
seemingly small acts.

On and on the sins piled one upon the other as God showed Nathan all the fields
at once,
layers upon layers. His venial sins numbered beyond his comprehension and appeared as endless vistas of offenses. Nathan realized that a portion of these offenses would not be counted against him because he had not willed them completely. Yet the objective fact that they disrupted the
perfectly balanced order of God's universe was enough to greatly disturb Nathan.

Suddenly he was spun around and saw another field with a rocky hill. Jesus was before him on the Cross again. Layer folded upon layer. He became aware of the suffering his venial sins caused Jesus upon the Cross. They caused Him such intense agony! Nathan's consciousness widened and narrowed. His emotions were so
excruciating that only a "wall" erected by the Trinity saved him from obliteration.

Nathan prayed: "Dear Jesus, if these are my venial sins then what of all the venial sins of mankind throughout the ages? What of my mortal sins? Am I to see these also?"

Jesus looked directly over Nathan's shoulder and replied:

"Son of man–Look!"

Nathan found himself turning to see where his Savior was looking
and beheld an enormous cauldron of fire!
Is that hell?
Nathan thought, amazed and terrified at the same time.

Mortal sins,
Nathan thought suddenly, still terrified. He tried to turn from the fire and run toward the Cross but found he couldn't move. He had no body.

Then Nathan left Calvary and plunged toward the cauldron of fire! He entered into hell. He knew in his heart that this was the place
his mortal sins merited for his eternity. Unlike John Lanning, who had actually felt the fires of hell licking up his legs during the heart attack, he did not physically experience the pains of hell. Nathan was simply "shown" hell–as if he was looking through the bottom of a glass boat. The sight of it was enough. Like Saint Teresa of Avila, Nathan was shown his particular station in hell. He had
no eyelids to close out the horror before him and no vocal cords with which to scream!

Nooooo!
Nathan cried desperately inside his mind.

Landscapes changed.

Hell disappeared.

Then Nathan saw why hell could be his destiny. He saw the sins which most offended God–field upon field of mortal sins. Stealing, lying, sexual sins, spiritual pride, dabbling in the occult, destruction of reputations, and
mortal sins of omission–the mortal fields were not as large as the venial fields, but each offense in each field would have sent Nathan to hell had his heart stopped beating while on earth.

The worst of these sins, it seemed, was the breaking of the first commandment: "I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt have no other gods before me!" All his mortal sins were a variation of a violation of this one
law. He realized now that he had made almost every single thing in his life a god before God. He had replaced God.

As just one example, Nathan saw himself visiting a psychic with some fraternity brothers during his college days. He had considered the visit a lark–something to do for fun–and had never gone back again to the strange Hungarian woman in the tiny storefront on Neil Street in Champaign.
The woman had made him feel creepy. One of his friends, Eddy Fetzer, had become "addicted" to the woman. Eddy later committed suicide in his senior year. Nathan saw that Eddy's demise was related to the false seer.

Nathan now realized the true danger of a desire to gain knowledge or power through the occult. In this field he saw that the psychic had been guided by evil spirits. Nathan had considered
Tarot cards, Ouija boards, reliance on astrological predictions, New Age mysticism, and other such practices as harmless superstitions on earth. He now realized that all these things originated in utter evil. They were devices to fool naïve men and women into serving the evil one. He also saw that his guardian angel had been protecting him in his ignorance from these evil forces.

Another field
Nathan saw was different–an unknown portion of this field was hidden from him. Nathan did not know how or why he could not see this unseen portion. He knew only that he would see whatever it contained later. The portion of the field he
could
see related his mortal sexual sins. By now he was not surprised to discover that self-abuse and viewing pornography were grave sins, but this did not reduce
the utter contrition he felt. The horror encompassed more than the sins he saw himself committing by himself and with women.

The real horror was the perfect realization of the vastly important
nature
of the sexual faculty he had abused. Of all the powers given to mankind, this power was perhaps the most God-like. For only God can create something from nothing. The universe itself could not refuse
God's command to call it forth from nothingness. Nathan realized that the only new immortal creations that come into the universe are human souls. Each and every soul is unique and immortal. He was awestruck at the incredible honor and trust God the Father bestowed upon men and women. The Father designed into human affairs the ability to procreate new human beings. Even angels were not allowed
to share in God's creative power!

How callous I've been!

How inconsequential Nathan had treated this tremendous gift...

He turned his view to the portion of the field of sexual sins that he could not see and shuddered at the darkness.

Fields changed again and again, filling him with horror and awe. He was shown mortal sin after mortal sin, reliving each and every one.

Nathan resolved to serve
only God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. But there was one more field for him to see.

Nathan knew this last field was there, but he could not yet see it. It was the field that until now had been hidden from his view. Again, he tried to close his eyes as he saw the field changing, and the new, terrible field coming toward him. But he could not close his eyes. The Warning was not complicated,
really. It was simply the opening of Nathan's eyes to the Truth.

Fields changed and layers folded upon layers.
Is that gold I see?
Nathan asked himself, confused, terrified. Then he beheld his abuse of the procreative power.

It was time for Nathan to meet his children–the children he didn't know existed before his Great Warning began. Nathan was about to see his two sons and three daughters.

A conversation long-forgotten by Nathan, which had taken place soon after Father Chet's ordination, echoed clearly in his mind as he watched its replay. Chet had been visiting Nathan on vacation almost three years ago. They were in Nathan's apartment discussing sexual morality during half time of a televised Notre Dame football game:

"But Nathan, you're much too intelligent to contradict scientific
fact. I'm telling you right now as your friend, you might think having sex is simply for your own fun, but the pill is an abortifacient. The pills and IUDs your girlfriends use can kill fertilized human embryos before they can attach to the uterine wall and destroy them even after they attach. It's a scientific fact. You've got to stop. You could be participating in the creation and destruction
of immortal human beings–your own children!"

Nathan remembered looking at Chet as if the newly ordained priest was a lunatic. The pill couldn't kill babies. It just couldn't. Therefore it didn't. Babies? Who knows what those cells are? Microscopic cells! I don't even believe in the soul. It's none of Chet's business, anyway. My private life is my own.

How can you be so sure Chet's not right?
The
voice that spoke for the laws written in every heart–Nathan's conscience–had answered.

His memory condemned him in the court of Eternal Wisdom. The scene with Father Chet disappeared and Nathan saw a field with a young man standing next to an angel. The young man with brown hair and green eyes was standing next to his guardian angel in a field of golden grass far more brilliant than any gold Nathan
had seen on earth:

The child's mother was Sally Gilchrist, the waitress at college, his first sexual partner. A son. She got pregnant on the only night he slept with her. Nathan was shown that Sally did not realize Nathan was the father. Sally had mistakenly believed another man, Fred Lind, her steady boyfriend, was the father. Lind had willingly paid for the abortion of Nathan's son.

In a vision
on the field next to the child with his angel, Nathan saw his son sleeping peacefully in Sally's womb. Then he saw the boychild ripped to shreds by an abortionist's knife-edged vacuum eight weeks and two days into the unborn child's brief life. Nathan tried to turn his head and couldn't as he saw his son ripped into pieces. Then Nathan saw the parts of his son's body deposited in a removable medical
bag in the high-pitched, mechanically whining suction machine used for the abortion. His son's remains joined the remains of five other tiny human beings.