Phoenix Reborn: An Alpha Pack Novella (3 page)

That was as much self-honesty as he could handle for now.

Stripping off his shorts, he shifted into his wolf form and ran. As fast as he could, he raced through the forest along the familiar trails. Wildlife stirred, small game that he chased but didn’t bother to kill and eat. He was out for the air, to clear his head. Maybe if he ran his wolf into exhaustion, the damned beast would be too tired to bitch and whine at him about not taking his mate yet.

As if.

Still, he ran anyway. When he finally came to his favorite stream, he stopped and shifted back into human form. His run had been exhilarating, but he was frustrated and pissed to find that it had done nothing to lessen his arousal. As he knelt in the mossy earth by the stream, his cock stood hard and proud, jutting out from his body, red and aching.

With a curse, Nix took himself in hand, palming the rigid length. Instantly he pictured Noah, on his knees, taking Nix’s cock between those plump lips and down his throat. He imagined that sweet face looking up at him, blue eyes heavy with desire. With the knowledge that as soon as Nix got finished shooting, he’d lap up the offering and get ready, because they were going for round two.

What would Noah look like on his hands and knees, firm ass stuck up in the air, ready for his cock? Fucking great, he imagined. Especially when Nix began to slide inside—

“Oh, fuck!”

That’s all the fantasizing it took, and he erupted over his fist, shooting ribbons of come into the stream in front of him. When the spasms faded, he sat back on his heels and heaved a deep breath, hands on his thighs.

“Man, you’re royally screwed,”

Yep. He had it bad. And he had no idea what the hell to do about it.

* * * 

Melina was fond of comparing Noah to a squirrel on crack.

Nix couldn’t say he disagreed. When the man was forced to sit still for very long, it was
not
a good situation. Today
he was being discharged from the hospital inside Sanctuary, which was great, but Noah didn’t seem to know the meaning of the word “rest.”

“You instruct your patients to take it easy all the time,” Nix pointed out. “Can’t you follow your own advice?”

His mate paused in the act of pulling on a pair of loose sweats and gave him the stink-eye. “Haven’t you heard that doctors and nurses make the absolute worst patients in the history of ever? I rarely follow my own advice.”

“That’s just stupid.”

“Oh no. You did
not
just call me stupid.” Blue eyes narrowed.

“No! Not
you
, just doctors and nurses in general. Christ, I don’t know why I thought having a man for a mate would be any different than having a woman! I still have to be super fucking careful about everything I say.”

“What’s
that
supposed to mean?”

“Jeez. Never mind. Need some help?”

“I can manage, thanks.”

He was already worn out, though. He sat on the bed with a sigh, wearing nothing but the sweat pants, and looked as tired as if he’d gone three more rounds with the tiger.

“Here.” Grabbing the shirt he’d brought over this morning from his own quarters, he went to put it on over his mate’s head.

“I’m not completely helpless. I can put on a shirt.”

“Noah? Shut up.”

“Fine.”

Finally the man allowed himself to be dressed and assisted with his tennis shoes without further bitching. For his part, Nix was surprised to learn how much he enjoyed taking care of his mate.

This protectiveness was a strange new feeling. No one he’d ever been with, male or female, had inspired the need inside him to keep them close and safe. To rip apart any who might hurt them.

That feeling seemed to be reserved for one hot blond.

“Ready?” he asked Noah.

“As I’ll ever be.”

After getting the official discharge from Melina, Nix led them out of the room. Some of Noah’s coworkers said good-bye on the way out, advising him once again to take it easy before coming back. Nix led his mate to the corridor that connected Sanctuary with the main building at the compound where the Pack and the rest of the staff lived.

There were a couple of security doors to pass through along the way, and Nix keyed in the codes. Once they were in the main building, he took them down several turns until finally they stopped at his room. One more code and they were inside.

“This is nice,” Noah said, looking around. “A lot like mine, just a slightly different floor plan.”

“Yeah, I think they varied them up some. It’s still a one-bedroom, one-bath with a kitchen, though.”

“I like how you have it decorated, with the brown leather and accent rugs. It’s very manly.”

“Thanks. What’s yours done in? Hello Kitty pink?”

Immediately he knew he’d said the wrong thing. His teasing had been taken the wrong way, and Noah was staring at him with such a wounded look that Nix’s heart sank.

Quickly he dropped Noah’s bag on the floor, crossed the short distance between them, and stopped, uncertain what to do next. “I’m so sorry. I was just teasing, you know, because you love pink so much. Your shoelaces, and your shirts? I was picturing the rest matching, that’s all.”

Some of the hurt faded from Noah’s adorable face. “Really?”

Nix inched closer, touching his mate’s cheek. “Yes, I swear. I’d
never
make fun of you or do anything to hurt you intentionally. Please believe that.”

Noah must’ve heard the sincerity in his voice and decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, because his arms went around Nix. Then he turned his face up and looked at Nix under his long lashes. “There might be
some
pink.”

“I knew it!”

“But only as accents.”

“The mind boggles.”

“Hey, it all works.”

Unable to resist, Nix pulled Noah tight against him and tilted his chin up with one finger. Then he pressed his lips to his mate’s and savored them for a long moment, tasting and exploring. Noah smelled and tasted sweet, like vanilla and caramel, a scent unique to him. Nix’s wolf liked it, a lot.

Once they broke the kiss, it was apparent both of them had a slight problem. But Noah was still recovering and he couldn’t push, despite his wolf’s displeasure.
Besides, am I really ready to make love to my mate?
The truth was, he was nervous about their first time. His libido would have to suffer a bit longer.

“Come on, let’s get you settled. I want you to rest awhile before dinner.”

Noah bit his lip before asking shyly, “Will you lie down with me and hold me?”

“Sure,” he said, trying to keep the hesitance from his voice. It was the least he could do for his mate, right?

Taking his hand, Nix led him into the bedroom. Noah crawled onto the king-sized bed, and Nix helped him take off his shirt and shoes, then his own. Then he joined his mate in the middle of the big bed, got situated on his back, and settled in awkwardly. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

Fucking a guy, he’d done. This relationship stuff? Never. The idea was scarier than the danger posed by any demon or Sluagh Nix could ever battle.

Noah solved his dilemma when he smiled, happily cuddling into his side and laid his head on Nix’s chest, underneath his chin. Apparently, it was the perfect place. Pretty soon, Noah’s breathing evened out as he succumbed to a much-needed nap. Sleep wouldn’t come for Nix, though. Not right away.

Noah felt so odd in his arms. Different. Yet so good and right. So warm, and
his
.

The first real stirrings of something more than just protective instinct awakened inside him, in those quiet hours. Holding Noah. Just listening to him breathe.

And Nix knew he’d never again be the same.

The first thing Noah became aware of upon awakening from his nap was being comfortably pillowed on a warm man who smelled divine. Like pine and expensive cologne. He didn’t need a wolf’s nose to discern that, and it made him only want to get closer and go exploring.

The second thing he became aware of, upon cracking an eye open, was the glorious chest he was lying on. He found himself staring at a perfectly formed, taut nipple just begging to be licked and tasted. He’d never been one to deny himself such pleasure, and he sure didn’t want to start with his own mate.

Biting his lip nervously, he studied Nix’s sleeping face and wondered how he’d react to having his bones jumped. Would he flip his shit?

Maybe not. Nix might not be completely on board yet with the mating thing, but he’d come running quickly enough when Noah needed him. There’d been no mistaking how worried Nix had been, or the desire in his eyes when he looked at Noah. And when Nix kissed him.

Mind made up, he stretched languorously and wiggled onto his stomach so that he was lying half on top of Nix. Then he bent his head and went to work on the tiny nub, making sure to molest it as thoroughly as possible. The little brown bead tightened to an eraser point, and Nix moaned a bit in his sleep. Grinning, Noah continued his gentle assault, until long fingers wrapped themselves in his hair at the back of his head.

Noah froze, but Nix’s hand was encouraging, not trying to dissuade him. Emboldened, he continued his journey, kissing and licking his way over to the other nipple, where it received equal treatment. No point in leaving the poor thing out.

“Noah.”

His name, moaned with such longing, sent a bolt of arousal straight to his groin. The man might fight their mating every step of the way, but when his guard was down there was no mistaking his desires. He could lie in front of their friends, but not to Noah. Not now, like this.

Peppering kisses down Nix’s faint happy trail to the waistband of his shorts, Noah loved on every inch of skin. When he got to the button of the shorts, he undid them and looked up at Nix to gauge his reaction.

His mate was gazing at him through a fall of long, dark blond hair. His eyes were like glittering jade, the desire in them so white-hot that if they’d been a physical flame, Noah would’ve been burned to a crisp. He’d never seen anything sexier than Phoenix Monroe lifting his hips in invitation, without saying a word.

Indeed, no words were necessary.

Excitement caused Noah’s hands to shake as he slid his mate’s shorts and underwear off. Once he had them down over Nix’s ankles he cast them to the floor and returned his attention to the living god sprawled on the bed.

Nix was everything he could’ve hoped for in a man. Not just physically, though he was perfectly stunning. No, it was
more than that. It was the way he was looking at Noah, as though he could see into his soul, and liked what he saw.

Nix spread his legs, lips kicking up in a smile. Noah wasted no time discarding his own sweats and underwear before crawling between his mate’s sinewy thighs. His attention shifted to the rather impressive cock straining toward the ceiling. His mate’s rod was a respectable eight inches, at least, and a girth that would fill Noah nicely. He shivered in anticipation.

Nix’s cock was surrounded by a nest of neatly trimmed curlies that were a shade or so darker than the hair on his head, and a set of heavy balls rested underneath. Crouching, Noah grasped the shaft and tasted the pearly drop on the flared head, and was satisfied by the swift intake of breath, followed by a needy moan from his partner.

Next, he took the head in his mouth, sucking. Then he slowly worked his way to the base, licking and sucking more, until he was swallowing the whole member. Again and again he loved on Nix’s cock, getting to know every single spot while kneading the man’s balls.

“Noah,” he groaned. “Shit, baby! If you keep that up, I’m gonna come!”

“Isn’t that the point?” He grinned up at his mate.

“Eventually.” He raised a brow, smiling back and the sight took Noah’s breath away. “But I want to make sure you feel good, too, while I come inside you. I want to fuck you,
now
. Come here.”

Oh, God
. Noah about combusted, right there. Heart pounding, he crawled up Nix’s body, into his arms, and found himself enfolded into a strong embrace. Nix rolled them, settled his bigger body over Noah’s, lowered his head, and took Noah’s mouth with a passion that curled his toes.

The kiss was fierce, possessive, and yet gentle at the same time. It left no doubt to whom Noah belonged, and made his heart soar. He could’ve wept with sheer joy.

Nix broke the kiss, stroking his face. “Shifters don’t need condoms. Of course, you know that.”

“I know.” Nix hadn’t needed to tell him that, given Noah’s job at Sanctuary. It was Nix’s way of making sure Noah was on the same page with where they were going. “I’m ready.”

“Good. Because I can’t wait any longer to be with you.”

Yes, finally.
“Me, either. Please, Nix, don’t wait anymore.”

Leaning over, Nix opened the drawer of the night stand and dug out a bottle of lube. Noah watched, mouth dry, as Nix knelt between his spread legs. Noah’s cock was hard and throbbing, curved against his stomach. He shivered with lust when Nix coated his fingers with lube and wrapped them around Noah’s shaft.

“Please,” he whispered.

Nix’s big hand felt wonderful wrapped around his cock. Even more so when he began to slide it up and down the rigid length, sending Noah’s arousal through the roof. Noah bucked into his mate’s touch, unable to prevent the ragged moans that escaped his lips. He was almost mindless with need when his mate lifted his rear, parted his ass cheeks, and began to massage the lube into his opening.

“Got to get you ready for me,” Nix said. “Don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’re doing fine.”

“Tell me if I cause you any pain, and I’ll stop.” From his serious expression, he meant every word.

Noah’s heart fluttered. “I promise, but you won’t.”

That was good enough for his mate, who continued to stretch him. One finger, then two. The slight burn became cycles of intense pleasure, and Noah was afraid he’d come from that alone if his man didn’t hurry up. Finally, Nix cupped his bottom, bringing the head of his cock to his opening.

Eyes never leaving Noah’s, he pushed inside. Slowly and carefully, he worked his way deeper, an expression of wonder on his handsome face. Noah knew how he felt. Joining with the one man in the universe truly meant to be his was like nothing he’d ever experienced. The first tendrils of a golden thread began to wind its way between them, and the pleasure was so intense he thought he might pass out.

Thankfully, he didn’t. He kept his focus on the wonderful feeling of his mate filling him, the sight of him pumping into Noah, the muscles of his chest and arms standing out in relief. Nix began to work himself fast, thrusting in and out, heightening the ecstasy to nearly unbearable levels.

Nix lowered him to the bed and covered him with his body, fusing their mouths together. They moved as one, and Noah thought,
This is making love. This is what I’ve been missing all my life. Nothing else could ever compare again.

“Oh, God,” Nix breathed. “Baby . . .”

Their desire finally crested and spiraled out of control. Noah turned his head to the side, exposing his neck. “Bite me.
Please.
”

But Nix only buried his face in the curve of Noah’s neck and shoulder, pumping fast as he took them over the edge. They cried out together, clinging to each other as their orgasms subsided. Noah basked in the wonderful feeling of being thoroughly taken and loved by his mate.

Well, except for the actual bonding part. He tried not to be disappointed that Nix had chosen not to make it official yet, but it still felt like a rejection. And it stung.

Pushing down the hurt, he smiled up at his sated partner. Nix returned it with a grin, then gave him a searing kiss before getting serious.

“I’m sorry I didn’t claim you,” he said, pushing a strand of hair out of Noah’s eyes. “I will, though. I promise. I just need to get my head wrapped around all these changes in my life first, okay?”

There was a whole lot of
I
in that last sentence, and Noah wasn’t sure that boded well.

But he put a brave face on, and nodded. “Sure, sweetie. Whatever you need. We’ve got plenty of time.”

The relief on the other man’s face was painful to see. “Great. And could you not call me stuff like, you know, ‘sweetie,’ unless we’re alone? I like it, but it’s just . . .”

Noah stared at him, a shard of agony stabbing his guts. “Too faggy for a macho wolf like you?”

“No!” He pulled out and moved off Noah, sitting up, and shoved his long hair out of his face. “You don’t get it.”

Noah sat up and scooted around on the bed to face him. “So you keep saying. Tell me so I
do
understand. Help me, because I’m flying blind here, and the hot-and-cold routine is really starting to wear me down.”

“I’m sorry.” He fell silent for so long, Noah wasn’t sure he’d continue. But when he finally let it all out, a lot of what had been holding Nix back became clear. “My father was every bit the raging homophobe you described, and so much worse. He made my life hell growing up.”

“He must have, to fuck with your head to the point where you can’t accept who you are,” Noah said softly.

“You have no idea. My mother left us when I was about four or five. I don’t remember much except begging her not to go. Then there was just me and my father—he was never a dad. A dad loves his family. Not this bastard. He was a mean sack of shit, and nothing I did ever pleased him. Maybe it’s because he knew what I was.”

Noah waited. Nix needed to say it on his own, without interference. It was clearly tough for him to admit out loud.

“I’m gay, Noah,” he said quietly, staring at the bed covers. “Always knew it, and I’m sure he did, too. But I also knew he’d kill me for admitting it, and so I did my best to be the athletic, butch son he could be proud of. I played sports, fucked girls, drove a cool car. I messed around with a boy or two, but I was careful as hell not to let anyone find out in case it got back to my father. When I graduated high school, I joined the Navy faster than you can say
sign on the dotted line
because it got me away from that asshole.”

“I get all of that. But, you were gone at that point. You could do what you want, right?” As soon as the words left his mouth and he saw Nix’s sad smile, he realized how stupid they sounded.

“Wouldn’t it be nice if life worked that way? It doesn’t. ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ was still the rule in the military back then. Yeah, I had a couple of hookups with guys when I was on leave and that’s when I really knew I was gay, you know? That was my first real chance away from home and that bastard to find out about myself. But anything permanent? No. I don’t have to tell you how badly that would’ve been received, especially while I was with the SEALs. That part of my life was on hold.”

“And even if it hadn’t been, there was your dad’s influence hovering, always in the background,” Noah guessed.

“You’re exactly right. My old man’s warped beliefs, his hatred of anyone different, have been a cancer on my soul for as long as I can remember. I’m not ashamed of being gay
at all
. I want you to know that. But before I left home, he told me something that terrified me, and I’ve never forgotten it.”

Noah took his mate’s hand in silent encouragement as Nix went on.

“He said that if he ever got word that I’d given in to my
‘unnatural’
urges, he’d hunt me down and also kill my partner. He said he’d take us out in the woods somewhere and make me watch while he skinned and gutted the guy, then he might put a bullet in his brain to put him out of his misery. If he begged.”

“My God! What an evil son of a bitch! I’m sorry, but . . .”

“No, I couldn’t agree more. Then he said he’d let me go so I’d have to live for the rest of my life with the knowledge of what I’d done. What
I’d
done! Me!” He gave a bitter laugh, shaking his head.

“Nix, are you sure your father is still alive? You’ve been away from home for a decade.” Any hope that the evil bastard might’ve passed away in the years since vanished at his mate’s next words.

“He’s still alive. I keep tabs on him. After our SEAL team was ambushed by the werewolves in Afghanistan seven years ago and turned, he was told I was dead—that’s what all our families were told. But my father has always been the suspicious type. Without my actual body, he’s asked a lot of questions, and the fewer answers he’s received the more curious he’s gotten.”

“That’s fucking scary, if you don’t mind my saying.”

“You’re telling me.” He squeezed Noah’s hand, staring deeply into his eyes, expression earnest. “Now do you understand why I’ve been so messed up about coming out? About claiming you openly, and about public displays of affection? I’m not afraid of loving you, Noah. I’m afraid of the consequences should that mangy excuse of a human being ever learn about you. He’d make good on every threat and not bat an eyelash in sympathy. I can’t let anything happen to you.”

“Nothing’s going to happen to me. Not only do I have you to protect me, but both of us have an entire Pack of wolf shifters, plus a Sorcerer and a Fae prince at our backs.” He grinned. “What could one human man possibly hope to accomplish against an army like that?”

“Well, when you put it like that, it sort of makes my fears sound stupid.” He shot Noah a wry smile.

“Not stupid at all. Caution is healthy, but when fear is allowed to take over your life? That’s a problem, my mate.”

“Yeah, well, that fear has had a lifetime to
become
a problem,” Nix said in disgust. Then he shook his head. “I don’t want to think about my old man anymore. In fact, we both need to get our minds off unpleasant stuff for a while.”

“I thought we just did?” Noah smirked.

“You know what I mean, you sex fiend.”

“Yeah, I do.” Cocking his head, Noah had an idea. “Say, why don’t we go for a walk before dinner? You can let your wolf out for a run and I can tag along, get some exercise.”