Phoenix Feather (8 page)

“Strawberry,” she said.

“Here you go.” He handed her a mug and bag.

When their tea was ready, they went back to the living room where Phoebe already had her own cup.

“Now will you tell us?” Phoebe asked.

Chris took a large gulp of tea and made a face at it. He set his mug down on the coffee table and folded his hands across his knees. “I wanted to wait until after midterms so I wouldn’t distract you,” he began. “You know I’ve been kind of tired and not had much of an appetite, and then there was that stomach flu a few weeks ago? Well, I finally decided to go to the doctor. They did some tests and I have cancer.”

Aidan felt as if the floor dropped out from under her. How could Chris have cancer? He was young and healthy.

“What?” Phoebe exclaimed. “Are they sure?”

Chris took her hand in both of his. “They did a biopsy; it’s stomach cancer. I go in tomorrow for some more tests to see if it’s spread.”

Phoebe pulled her hand away. “You had a biopsy done and you didn’t tell me?”

“It was a minor procedure. I was in and out in a few hours.” He grabbed her hand again. “I didn’t want you distracted from your midterms, not until I knew for sure.”

Tears began to spill from Phoebe’s eyes. Aidan was stunned beyond words. She knew that Chris and Phoebe’s mom had died of breast cancer the summer after their high school graduation, that it had been hard, but expected. There was no father in the picture. They were all each other had.

“Aidan, are you okay?” Chris patted her knee.

Aidan looked at him and saw his concern for her and Phoebe, more than for himself. He had faced this alone because he was worried for them, because he wanted to protect them.

She managed to nod. “So the tests determine how serious it is, and then the doctors will discuss treatment?”

He nodded, and reached with his free hand to take hers. “I love you both. With you two, I can face this.”

Phoebe sniffed. “Yeah, but can I?”

Aidan took Phoebe’s other hand, linking the three of them. “Of course. Because I’m here too, and I’m not leaving.” She looked down at the cups of tea. “That’s why you’re suddenly into green tea?”

Chris grimaced. “Yeah, the doctor recommended it, said he’s seen it help some people. I don’t know if I can get used to it though.”

“Yes you will!” Phoebe’s hands shook with her vehemence. “You will drink twenty cups of green tea every day if I have to drown you in it.”

He laughed, and it rocked Aidan’s core. A sound that was so familiar and comforting now frightened her because it could soon be gone. She squeezed his hand, feeling her stomach begin to knot.

Chris smiled and squeezed back. “I know this will be hard on you guys, but I don’t want it getting in the way of school and the rest of your lives. Phoebe, that means we’re still going to go to soccer games, and I’m still going to cheer. And, Aidan,” he said, and looked at her. “I like Trent, so go dancing with him again.”

She took a deep breath. “Okay, but you two have to come sometime. It’s a lot of fun.”

“Good.” He let go of them and stood up. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m feeling the need for pizza and a movie. So, we can go out and catch something that’s playing, or order in and pick a classic. What’ll it be?”

Phoebe wiped the tears from her cheeks. “My makeup’s smeared; let’s stay in.”

Chris leaned over and kissed the top of her head. “Okay, I’ll phone, you pick the movie. No romance!”

“You just want to get your way because you’re sick,” Phoebe choked.

Chris flashed her a cocky grin. “Will it work?”

She sniffed again. “Yes.”

Aidan stayed seated while Chris called Piecora’s Pizza for a delivery and Phoebe went over their DVD collection. The world seemed to stop spinning and shrink to the lives in this small room. Aidan had fought battles before, with sword and rifle, but disease…she couldn’t fight that. She flashbacked to Sicily, 1347. Bodies piled in doorways and street corners as frightened families huddled indoors. The churches were forced to dig trenches as mass graves, and what kind-hearted doctors came forward to care for the sick fell prey to the disease as The Black Death swept its way across Europe. Aidan had tried to help, at first, but eventually there were too many, knee-deep in corpses and rotting flesh, and all she could do was watch an invisible agent strike down everyone around her. The massive scale at the time took some of the personal out of it as faces had blurred together.

This time though, the prospect of watching seemed all the more painful. How could she pretend that everything would be okay, that life could go on as though Chris was not fighting for his life?
That’s the world.
A war in Ancient China didn’t affect the Celts, separated by continents. A terrorist attack on the East Coast did not disrupt life on the West Coast for long. Because if all life stopped in its tracks in the wake of tragedy and destruction, then those forces would win, and nothing would be left to start over.

Phoebe held up
The Princess Bride
.

Aidan smiled. Okay, just this once, she could use some of True Love’s undying hope. “Perfect.”

Chris came back. “Twenty minutes.” He picked up the DVD case. “Excellent choice.” He sat on the couch and Phoebe sat next to him, linking her arm in his. Aidan moved to the floor, the desire to be close to them strong. It may not be her battle, but she was a fighter, and she was going to fight with everything she had.

***

Engine 25 rolled into the driveway of the station house. They had just returned from a house fire. No one had been home, but the house was a complete loss. Having been the first to arrive on scene, they had been the last to leave, responsible for going over the remains, salvaging evidence, and overhauling the entire structure to make sure the fire was completely extinguished. Then they reported every observation about the fire’s behavior and the state of the house during the suppression to the fire investigator to help him determine if the fire had been an accident or something intentional. As it turned out, someone had forgotten to turn the space heater off. Trent sometimes wondered how the most highly intelligent creature on the planet could be guilty of such stupidity.

He climbed down from the engine’s cab and took off the heavy, three-layered coat that protected him in a fire. He was covered in smoke and sweat and wanted nothing more than to take a cold shower.

Frank tapped him on the shoulder. “Isn’t that Aidan out there?” He pointed to a blue Corolla parked across the street from the station. Aidan sat in the driver’s seat, but the car wasn’t running.

Trent took off the yellow trousers so the only sign that he had been in a fire recently was the grime on his face. He walked across the street and knocked on Aidan’s window. She rolled it down.

“Hey.”

She looked up at him and wrinkled her nose. “You smell like smoke.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. Comes with the job.”

“No, it’s good,” she said, her voice small, almost distant. “It’s strong, real.”

Trent frowned. “What’s going on?”

Aidan forced a smile. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t bother you at work. Maybe you could call me when you get off?”

He opened her door without asking. “Now’s fine.” She reluctantly took the hand he offered, and he led her back to the house where they sat on the front steps. Frank brought out two bottles of cold water. Trent took one out of need, but Aidan shook her head politely. She didn’t say anything, so he asked, “How did your midterms go?”

“Fine.”

Trent waited through a few more moments of silence. It was obvious she wanted to tell him something, but seemed to be struggling. He’d be patient. He didn’t want to scare her off when she clearly wanted to trust him.

“I think I need your help,” she finally said. She tried to laugh to lighten her tone, but it only made it sound more desperate.

Trent held his breath and took hold of her hand. She looked straight into his eyes.

“Chris has cancer.”

He hadn’t known what she was going to say, but that was one of the last things he expected. He tried to process the information before reacting. He had only met Chris once, but Trent had liked the guy. Knowing how important he was in Aidan’s life only made the news harder to digest. “He just found out?”

She nodded. “He’s at the doctor right now getting a CT scan and some other stuff to see if it’s spread. Phoebe’s at her internship, so I can’t sit with her and keep her company. I’m supposed to be at mine, but while I was cataloging Aztec artifacts it occurred to me, while I’m being strong for them, I might need someone to do that for me.” She gave him a tentative look, open and vulnerable.

He wanted to put his arm around her and draw her toward him, but knew he smelled like ash, and he didn’t want to smother her in it. He settled for interlacing his fingers with hers. She trusted him. It was a gesture he found inflaming, spurring his desire to protect her and make everything better. But he knew it couldn’t work that way. He didn’t know what to say, and he didn’t want to offer her empty comfort with words like, “I’m sorry,” or “It’ll all be okay.” Instead, he said,

“Anything you need.”

And he meant it with a ferocity usually reserved for family. That surprised him. So maybe a romantic relationship wouldn’t work out right now, and oddly, that didn’t bother him as much as he thought. If Aidan needed family, then that’s what he’d give her, because he felt himself drawn to her in a way that surpassed the initial, superficial attraction.

“I know it’s a lot to ask…”

Trent firmly shook his head. “I’m not the type of guy to run when things get rough.” He tried to let her see the sincerity behind his eyes.

She leaned her head against his chest. “Sometimes I hate being alone,” she said in a soft voice.

“I’ll do my best to help with that.”

She straightened. “Can we go dancing again soon? With Chris and Phoebe?”

He smiled, and risked brushing some of her hair behind her ear without transferring grease. She didn’t pull away. “Absolutely.” That’s what she needed: to know life went on. To know that it was okay to still enjoy things, even when not everything was good. Trent thought of his brother. Bryan had lost that, and despite Trent’s best efforts to help him remember, was currently lost in a world where nothing seemed good. He wouldn’t let that happen to Aidan, or to Chris and Phoebe, not if he could do everything in his power to help them keep going.

“Hey, the firehouse is having a community barbecue on Halloween,” he said. “It’s part of a fundraiser and public education on Halloween safety. Why don’t you, Phoebe, and Chris come? It’s a lot of fun every year, and there are some guys in the company that would like to meet you.” He stroked her hair again. “It’s my day off, so if a call comes in, I won’t need to run off and leave you.”

Aidan nodded slowly. “Maybe that would be good.”

“I’m pretty good with a barbecue as well.”

She tilted her head at him. “Do I have to bring dessert?”

“Nope. On the city this time.”

She smiled. “Okay.”

“Do you know when he’ll have the results?”

“Um, a couple days, maybe.”

“Okay.” He rubbed her back. “Call me anytime for whatever, just to talk, or if you need a date to even the playing field…and when you know?”

Aidan nodded. “Yes.” She took a deep breath and got to her feet. “Thank you.”

Trent stood up. “I’ll call when I get off in sixteen hours, see how you’re doing.” He stepped forward and wrapped her in a hug because he thought she needed it more than staying smoke-free.

“Okay,” she said after pulling away. She gave a last attempt at a brave smile and walked back to her car.

When Trent had wanted to become a part of her life, he had imagined more nights of dinner and dancing, of getting to know her better through her intellect and wit. But he was getting the hard road, which he knew would help them get to know each other in one of the deepest ways possible. Too bad it was the dark road that showed a person’s true colors in the quickest amount of time. If Aidan survived this, they might have a very solid friendship as a foundation for anything he might hope to have in the future.

***

Aidan paced back and forth throughout her apartment. Chris’s test results were in, and he and Phoebe had gone to the doctor’s office to discuss them and possible treatment plans. They were supposed to come to her when they finished and fill her in. The waiting was driving her mad. She had already dusted and vacuumed the place, cleaned the bathroom, and changed out the water in each of her three potted orchids. She was out of ideas, unless she wanted to reorganize her bookshelf by publication date. How was it that she could lie in a trench through sun, moon, and rain, waiting for an invading army with only an occasional yawn to show her boredom, but waiting a few hours in the comfort of her own apartment made her want to jump out the window and see if she could remember how to fly?

She tried to think about something else. She and Trent had spent more time together since she had gone to him last Friday after hearing Chris’s news. He had forty-eight hours off between shifts, and had come over for a few late movie nights with Chris and Phoebe. Aidan noticed more than once that he had fallen asleep during the film, but it was sweet that he was there. He fit nicely into her life. He and Phoebe talked sports, while he and Chris enjoyed reminiscing over college experiences. Trent made it easier to laugh in spite of the situation.