Personal Demons 2 - Original Sin (9 page)

Matt

It's taken two days to work up the guts to do this. I'm so nervous. And I feel like a total loser. I'd be sure I was going to puke, except I don't have a stomach.

I watch Lili slide out of her truck from the demon's window.

What am I doing?

Frannie nudges my shoulder and shoots me a dubious smile. “So, you ready for your big debut?”

Honestly, I'm
not
sure. But I smile back. “You bet.”

Her eyes sparkle as she giggles and pushes me aside. “Hey, Lili! Come on up!” she hollers out the window.

The demon sidles over to the window and looks me up and down. “You're nervous.”

“No, I'm not,” I say, suddenly sure that, stomach or not, I'm going to puke.

He scowls at me. “You're glowing. Either you're nervous or you swallowed a compact fluorescent. Either way, you need to turn it off.”

I realize he's right. My self-awareness isn't what it should be. I tone it down and try to keep a brain cell trained on the glow factor.

I stand by the door, waiting for Lili's knock, determined not to leave here today without officially meeting her.

So, of course, when the knock on the door comes, I totally freak and fade out.

Frannie bursts out laughing. “So much for the debut.”

Luc pulls the door open with a smirk, and Lili steps through with a six-pack of beer.

“Hey, Frannie,” she says through the stringy brown hair dangling in her face.

“What's the occasion?” Frannie asks, pointing at the beer.

She pulls a beer out of the holder and hands it to Frannie. “Got a job at the KwikMart. Just started today. Pay's not great, but it should be enough for rent and food, which is all I need.” A devilish smile turns up the corners of her mouth. “I actually swiped a six-pack of beer.” Her smile shifting to a frown, she adds, “Which is highly illegal, considering I'm only eighteen, so I'll probably get fired and then arrested.”

She drops the six-pack on the table as if it's suddenly poison. “Should have thought this whole celebration thing through a little better, I guess.” She purses her lips thoughtfully as she pulls a beer out and hands it to Luc before opening one for herself. “I don't hear any sirens, so hopefully I'm in the clear. I'll need to erase the security camera tapes when I get to work tomorrow.”

Frannie laughs and I can't stop the smile. This is a side of Lili I wouldn't have expected.

“Sounds like a plan,” Luc says.

Lili throws herself into one of Luc's kitchen chairs, tips her head back, and takes a long swig of beer. “Ahh…refreshing,” she says.

I'm not surprised she needs to be refreshed. She's wearing the same loose warm-up pants and baggy gray sweatshirt she was when she moved in last weekend, even though it's got to be almost ninety degrees outside.

Frannie lowers herself into the other kitchen chair. “So, how're you liking Haden?”

“It's okay, I guess. And it's not too far from the subway, so I won't have to drive into Boston for school.”

“The T,” Frannie says.

“What?”

Frannie picks at the label of her beer. “The subway. It's called the T here.”

“Oh.”

“Are you going to keep working after school starts?” Luc asks.

“I have to. I need the money.”

“Mmm. That's rough,” he says.

She shifts uncomfortably in her chair. “Yeah. And I'm on scholarship, so I have to take a full course load.”

Concern creases Frannie's brow. “Isn't there anyone who can help you out?”

“No. I don't have any family,” Lili says. A shadow passes over her face.

“None?” Frannie says, surprised.

Lili just shakes her head, and her eyes darken and lower to the floor. Frannie drops her gaze as well.

I can't stand the pain in Lili's eyes. Someone has really hurt her. I ease over to where she slumps in the kitchen chair, face half-hidden behind her hair, and kneel in front of her. I want to touch her so badly. I can't even explain the feeling, except it pulls at something in my core—like some deep aching need. I catch myself before the hand I didn't know I'd raised actually touches her face, and force it back down to my side. Staring into her eyes, I wish that, just this once, I
could
read minds.

Who are you?

Her eyes clear, almost like someone threw a switch, and she turns to Luc. “You know, there was a guy checking out your car in the parking lot when I came in.”

Luc springs to the window and looks out into the lot. “Perfect.”

“What?” Lili says.

Luc and Frannie exchange a glance.

“Nothing,” he says.

Frannie and Lili pull themselves out of the chairs and move to the window.

“I should have told him to get lost. Thought he might be a friend or something,” Lili says, peering out.

“Don't have any friends,” Luc says.

Frannie elbows him. “Except Matt.”

“Matt?” Lili eyes Luc with an inquisitive raise of her eyebrows.

At the sound of my name coming from Lili's lips, I feel a rush of excitement, hot and electric, course through me, but it's mixed with fear. Terror, really. What if she meets me and hates me? I may get only one shot at this.

“Yeah. A friend of Luc's.” Frannie cracks a smile, and her eyes scan the room. “He was supposed to show up today. Must have blown us off.”

I phase up behind her, fade in a finger, and snap her bra strap. She jumps and kicks her foot in the direction of my shin, finding air.

Luc glares through a smirk and Lili looks uneasy.

“Well, I gotta go. Keep the beer.” Her face breaks into a smile, and my breath catches. She's so beautiful.

Frannie picks it up off the table and tries to hand it to her. “Take it.”

“I've never seen that beer before in my life, Officer,” Lili says, holding up her hands and backing away from the table.

Frannie cracks up. “So, are we still good for shopping tomorrow?”

Lili lowers her lashes. “Yeah.”

“Great. Riley and Taylor are in too. I'll stop by your place at noon and we can go get that dresser first.”

“Okay,” Lili says as Luc follows her to the door.

I make a split second decision. I need to talk to her to get past whatever my obsession is. If I slip into the hall behind her and fade in…she'll think I've just shown up.

But when Luc opens the door for Lili and she passes through, her hand reaches up and brushes along his ribs—a caress. She looks up at him with a hint of a smile and bites her lower lip. “So, I'll see you later.”

His eyebrows shoot up and he glances back at Frannie, who's putting the beer in the fridge, oblivious. “Yeah, later,” he says, and smiles.

Suddenly I'm livid. I can't decide whether to smite him right on the spot, or follow Lili out the door, as planned. I opt for the second, knowing smiting should be done in private, and slide through the door just ahead of her. Completely abandoning my plan, I follow her up the hall to her door and study her face as she twists her key in the locks. That sadness is back in her eyes. She sighs and pushes through her door. I almost follow her, but I stop myself. As much as I want to know what's going on, I can't invade her privacy. It wouldn't be right.

I lean back into the wall, slide to a sitting position on the floor, my head in my hands, and try to get a grip on my whirling emotions.

What's clearly at the forefront is hate. I'm shaking with it. I hate Luc—because of Frannie. She loves him and trusts him. But obviously, that trust is misplaced. Because, just for a second…the way Lili looked at him…

In a bolt of irony, it strikes me that this is what I've been waiting for. I need Frannie to see the demon for what he is. If he's lusting after every girl in sight, that's a start. But it'd kill Frannie if he messed around with Lili.

And it might kill me too.

Because, as I think of Lili, other emotions swirl to the lead.

Jealousy. And lust. I can't deny it, as much as I'd like to: I want her.

A mirthless chuckle works its way up from my chest. Not sounding too angelic at the moment, am I?

But…Lili.
God, Lili.
If I could just talk to her…touch her…

I need to know what's going on between them.

I stand and pace the hall for a long time, working to get my jumbled emotions under control. Finally, I slip through Luc's wall.

But the first thing that catches my eye—a flash of skin in the tangled sheets—feels like a punch to my gut. I push back into the hall and sit with my head in my hands again, forcing myself not to storm in there and pull him off her. It's too late. I got distracted and forgot where the
real
danger was.

Every time they've gotten too close, I've been able to run interference. But I knew I wouldn't be able to do that forever.

How many more ways can I screw up my job because of my obsession over Lili?

Frannie

Most of our clothes are on the floor and we move together on Luc's big black bed to the rhythm of music playing softly from the stereo. A tiny part of me wishes he could still shift his essence into me the way he used to when he was a demon. My head swims at the memory of how it felt to have him that close. There's something surreal about being possessed by the essence of the boy you're crazy in love with—even if he is a demon.

But feeling his skin against mine, being this close—closer than I've ever been to another human being—there's something else I want. Something he couldn't give me when he was a demon, because it would tag me for Hell. But now he's human, and tagged for Heaven. I want him closer, and there's nothing stopping us.

When Taylor flung that condom at me after Luc first showed up, she did it to embarrass me. I'm sure she never thought I'd use it. But now, as I think about that condom in my bag, my stomach flutters.

Luc kisses my ear and whispers, “Are you okay?”

I smile up at him. “Better.”

“You looked a million miles away.”

“Never. I'm right here.” I squeeze him tighter. “I love you.”

One corner of his perfect mouth curves up. “I know.”

He shifts over me on his elbows and leans in for a kiss when it hits me, and I push him back. “Say it.”

“What?”

“You know.”

He lifts an eyebrow. “I don't.”

“You've never said you love me.”

He scowls down at me. “Don't be absurd.”

Wrong answer.

I feel heat creep up my neck and into my face as embarrassment and anger vie for control. I pull back harder, pressing into the pillows to make room between us. “Why won't you say it?”

“Frannie, they're just words.”

The bottom drops out of my stomach as the truth hits me like a slap across the face. How could I be so stupid? I shove him off me and sit. “You know what? Just forget it,” I say, yanking on my jeans.

“Frannie—”

I hold up my hand and he stops. My shirt is on and I'm halfway to the door before he follows me. He tries to slow me with a hand on my shoulder, and I think about flipping him by it, but I need to get out of here before I start crying. I jerk away and jog for the door. One of my flip-flops flies off, but I don't care. I reach the door just ahead of him, but all the goddamn deadbolts take too long and he catches me.

“Frannie, listen to me.” His hands are planted on the door, one on either side of my head, and I can feel his hot breath in my ear.

A sob catches in my throat just before it escapes. “I…it's okay,” I say, fumbling with the locks. “But I gotta get to work.”

He presses into me from behind and snakes his arms around my waist. I hate that my heart sputters at the feel of him there. And I hate even more that I can't stop the tears that leak over my lashes.

“I've never said it,” he says, his voice low in my ear, “because it's not enough…those words.”

I flip the last deadbolt and reach for the door handle before I process what he said. I stop and press my forehead into the door, trying to think, to breathe.

He spins me, and his hand cups my face as he gazes down into my eyes. “God, I love you.” His eyes glisten. “I love you with everything that I am.”

His voice breaks on the last word and he closes his eyes and draws a deep breath. His lips press into a tight line before he turns away from me. He walks to the kitchen table, staggering on the last step, and leans his hands on the table for support. My heart pounds, trying to escape my chest, as he hangs his head between his shoulders and just stands there.

“I love you so much, it hurts,” he finally says, so low, I can barely hear him.

I'm still leaning against the door, totally frozen in place. I try to open my mouth to say something, but nothing wants to function. My brain can't find words, and even if it could, my mouth wouldn't form them.

He pushes off the table, drags the back of his hand across his face, and turns slowly toward me, his features pulled tight as he struggles for control. He tips his head back, closing his eyes, and draws a shaky breath.

“After seven thousand years, I thought I knew all there was to know.” He hesitates, then lowers his gaze and stares at me with tortured eyes for several heartbeats. “I didn't know this was possible.” He brings a fist to his heart and holds it there. “I never imagined needing anything…anyone…so thoroughly. I…” He trails off and drops his head once more.

Before I know they've done it, my legs have me across the room and in his arms. I lay my cheek on his chest and listen to his heartbeat, as fast as mine, as he folds me into his embrace.

“You're my life, Frannie,” he whispers into my hair. “God, you're
everything.
” He lifts me off the ground and kisses me, and the next thing I know, my clothes are off and we're back on the bed. He kisses me deeper, and even though I know it's not possible anymore, I can almost feel his soul swirling with mine. And in his soul, I can feel it: love so intense that it makes me cry again.