Personal Demons 2 - Original Sin (30 page)

“No. The term
angel
is specific to mortals who have attained Heavenly status. I was never human.”

I try to process that. “So…that means…”

“If I lose my wings, there'd be no choice. I'm not from the Earth, so I can't return to it. I'd belong to Lucifer.”

My heart pounds in my throat. “Unless I wanted you to be human.” And I do. Right now there's nothing I want more.

He looks at me from under his white lashes, and thoughts flash through his eyes so fast that I can't get a hold of any of them. Then he leans in and kisses me again. I tug him onto the bed next to me and stare into those amazing eyes. The question is out of my mouth almost before I realize I've said it. “Did you know Lucifer before he fell?”

He stiffens, but his voice is as always, calm, soothing. “Frannie, don't worry about Him right now. You're safe. Go to sleep.”

I shift in his arms, suddenly uncomfortable, but something deep inside me won't let it go. “I'm not worried. I just want to know.”

He shakes his head slowly. “I was created just after the War. He was gone by then.”

“So…you never knew Him as an angel?”

Gabe's eyes narrow. “Where are you going with this?”

I shake my head, because I don't really know. It's just a feeling I can't explain. “Nowhere, I guess.”

He kisses my forehead and settles back into the pillows. “Sleep, Frannie.”

My eyelids feel heavy and I let them close, but images from my nightmare haunt me—Taylor, blood, Lilith. I place my hand on his chest, over where his heart would be, trying hard not to want what he can't give, but needing to be close. “Is this okay?”

He releases a shuddering sigh and strokes my shoulder. “Perfect,” he says.

And sometime, hours later, I'm finally able to sleep.

When I wake, pale gray light filters through the tree outside my window. I'm alone in my bed, and everything from the last five days is a little fuzzy, like I'm just coming out the other side of a five-day binge. It's that same hungover feeling as I lie in the bed for a long time trying to put the pieces together—what's real and what's haze. Taylor's murder was real—no dream could produce pain that sharp. Luc leaving—real. Gabe…last night? There's a flutter low in my belly as I remember his amazing, soft touch. Did we really almost have sex? Did he say he loved me? I think that was real too. He'd give up his wings for me…that's what he said.

But he's gone.

I push off the wash of disappointment and look at the clock, then grab my phone and call in sick to Ricco again. He tells me not to bother coming back.

Luc

“Are you okay?” The voice and the hand on my arm startle me as I lean against the cold tile wall of the hospital. I've been standing here awhile, trying to work up the courage to knock on the door to room 322.

Her name is Robin.

I pull my forehead off the wall and try to smile at the nurse. “I'm fine.”

She spares me one last concerned glance and makes her way up the hall. I breathe deep and lift my hand to knock, but before I can, the door swings open and she steps out into the hall in a fluttering green hospital gown. She nearly bumps into me before I can get myself out of the way.

“Oh. Sorry,” she says. Her eyes are the same green, but they seem duller without Lilith to fuel them.

But it's me who's sorry. I drop my eyes and open my dry mouth, but I can't find words, so I close it again. I lift my eyes and they connect with hers. My heart is in my throat.

She looks up at me and her brow creases.

“Sorry,” I say. It's the closest thing to an apology I can manage. I spin and jog down the corridor to the stairs, which I take two at a time. When I reach my car, I can't breathe. I lean against the fender, sucking air.

She doesn't remember. It was clear in her eyes. She had no idea who I was. That should be some comfort, but it doesn't change what happened—what I did to her. And all I could manage was “sorry.”

I owe her so much more.

I lean on the fender and debate myself—just like I've done every minute since I realized I was mortal again. I should be miles away—
hundreds
of miles away. Out of temptation's reach. But I can't seem to make myself leave.

Because living without Frannie is like trying to live without oxygen.

It was faster this time. The change took only a few weeks. And I felt it. I knew she was changing me. Frannie said she'd try not to want me. Apparently she didn't succeed, because it's hard to argue with my humanity. The knowledge that she wants me sends a thrill through me at the same time as the thought of being with her again terrifies me.

I push off the Shelby and open the door. Then I slam it closed with a growl. Because I want to go over there. And if I get in this car, that's where I'm going to end up. I pace through the parking lot, trying to clear my head and talk some sense into myself. Finally I slide into my car and head to my apartment.

As I pull into a spot near my building, I realize that I don't even remember the drive, because my thoughts are totally absorbed with Frannie. I sit here for ages, pinching my forehead, where the headache starts to rage out of control. And just as I'm about to cave and start my car, Frannie's Mustang squeals to a stop behind me, blocking me in.

She jumps out of the car and storms over to where I'm parked. From the look on her face, maybe I was mistaken about her wanting me.

She rips my door open and hauls me out by my arm. “Where the hell are you going? Running away again?”

I don't shake free of her grasp, because the feel of her hand on my skin…“I was—”

“You're such a coward, you know that? I can't figure out how you survived in Hell all this time.”

“Frannie—”

She lets go of my arm and shoves me. “I don't even know why I care. Just go, you stupid—”

I grab her arms and spin her against the car, meaning to tell her to get in her car and get the Hell away from me. Meaning to say something so cruel that she'll never want to come back. But instead, I find myself pressing my lips into hers. My head screams at me to stop at the same time my heart screams to never let her go. She pounds her fists into my chest at first, but then she melts into me, kissing me back. Finally, I get myself under control and pull away. She just stares up at me for a long second. A hot lump forms in the back of my throat as a tear courses a crooked path down her cheek. I back away a step, unsure what to say.

That seems to break her trance. She gazes up at me with eyes that look as scared as I feel, then scrubs the tear away with the back of her arm, pulls a deep breath, and turns for her car. But just as she reaches it, I catch a subtle waft of brimstone. I dive for Frannie and push her through the door, slamming it closed. When I turn, Rhenorian is standing there, grinning at me.

“Whoa! What was that all about?”

I blow out a shaky breath. “For the love of all things unholy, Rhenorian. Don't sneak up on me like that.”

“Admit it. She's the one who changed you.” The grin is gone from his face and he stares past me at Frannie with hungry eyes.

I bang on her door with my palm. “Go, Frannie!”

She hesitates—a second too long.

In a flash, he has me pinned against Frannie's car. “Make her do it to me.”

“I don't know what you mean.”

Before I can react, his fist smashes into my face and I hear Frannie scream. Then he grins and swipes his finger across the blood seeping from my split lip. “
This.
Make her do
this,
” he says, holding up his bloody finger.

“She can't make you mortal, Rhenorian.”

He stands back and looks at me, wiping his finger on the front of my shirt, then his gaze shifts to Frannie. “I wanted to apologize for being so rude last time we met. It's my pleasure to see you again.” He reaches past me, holding his hand out to her.

I push away from the car and shove him back. “No, Frannie! Go!”

But she's never listened to me before, and she doesn't start now. Instead, she smiles and pulls herself out of the car. “It's okay,” she says, reaching for his hand.

And as their hands meet, in one deft motion she twists his arm, putting him facefirst onto the ground, his arm in a lock and her knee in his back.

“I can't make you human,” she says to the back of his head.

“You made Lucifer human,” he groans into the pavement.

“Not on purpose.”

He twists his head to the side. “Fine. Call your Pit Bull off, Lucifer.”

Even though this really isn't funny, I can't help the chuckle. “She's never answered to me. You're on your own.”

“Son of Satan!” He squirms under her. His fist starts glowing and he grimaces, trying to turn it in the right direction.

I chuckle again. “Yeah, good luck with that.” I stoop down next to him. “What's this really about?”

He tugs once more against Frannie's grasp, then slumps into the pavement. “Let me up.”

“Not until you tell us what's going on.”

“There's an uprising.”

At first I can't process what he's said. “An uprising,” I repeat.

“What you did…at the Diktat. It made some of us think. No one's ever stood up to Him before. It's never been possible.”

He's right. Up until I did it, I never would have thought it possible. His command always carried physical weight. My body bent to His will without question. Something programmed into us at the time of our creation.

“We think it's because you were human. Maybe when you turned back, it short-circuited something.”

“So you think if you were human, even for a little while…”

“We wouldn't have to obey Him,” he finishes.

“Frannie can't do that, Rhen. There's nothing we can do to help you.” Though, if there were, I'd seriously consider it. An uprising in Hell…

Frannie shoots me a look and I nod. She lets go of his arm and pulls her knee out of his back.

But the second he's off the ground, his glowing fist is pointed into Frannie's face. “Do it! Make me human!”

She glares at me, but behind that look, she's already plotting how to take him down again.

“For the sin of Satan, Rhenorian, what are you trying to accomplish?”

Panic flashes in his eyes as they flit to me and back. “Things are out of control, Lucifer. You've been gone. You don't know.”

“You're demons. Nothing is below you. How bad can it be?”

He shifts his eyes from Frannie to me. “Bad. There are public quarterings, the Pit is full to overflowing. And He expects my crew to enforce His insanity. He's brought in Mages and Necromancers as reinforcements.” He looks exasperated. “
Mages.
It's bad.”

I grimace against the memory of my own recent run-in with Lucifer's Mages.

Frannie takes advantage of his distraction, kicking out with her leg, fast as lightning, and breaking his right arm.

He cries out and pulls it to his chest. “Who the Hell
are
you?” he groans through clenched teeth, glaring at Frannie with glowing eyes.

She glares back, looking, if possible, even more menacing than Rhenorian. “Someone you don't want to mess with.”

He turns wide eyes on me. “Unholy Hell, forget turning human. We just need her to kick the shit out of King Lucifer.”

Frannie winces. It's obvious the memory of her last encounter with Lucifer still haunts her.

“You have my support, but I don't think there's much I can do. Maybe Gabriel—”

“You've
got
to be joking. You're in with Gabriel? What next—you gonna sprout wings? Are you turning into a featherface?”

“I thought you wanted help. But if you're going to be picky about where it comes from…”

“Would he seriously do it?”

“Unrest in the Underworld works to everyone's advantage.” I glance at Frannie. Hers, most of all.

He backs off, still holding his arm, though it's already straightening as it heals. “See what you can do.” He fades out, leaving Frannie and me standing alone in the parking lot.

The awkwardness between us is instantly back. I look at her, and I can't keep the concern out of my voice. “Are you okay?”

She nods. “Let's go talk to Gabe.”

Frannie

We ride in silence to Gabe's. I really have no clue what to say. My head was full of stuff when I was driving to Luc's. Mostly ripping into him about…everything. But I was also ready to tell him that I need him to come back. And that I love him.

When Gabe told me Luc was back, the wave of emotion nearly drowned me. It was everything all at once. There was plenty of rage. He cheated on me, then left me—twice. But there was also joy and love. The biggest and hardest to accept was hope.

So, when I saw him leaving again…I freaked. And all those things I wanted to say flew out the window.

My heart throbs painfully in my chest, and the ache spreads from there through my whole body. I chance a sidelong glance at him as he drives. It's not too late. I could still tell him.

I draw a deep breath and open my mouth, but then close it again. Why can't I find words?

I love you.
It's not hard. Why can't I say it?

He kissed me. He loves me too…right?

I just don't know. I turn to look at him, trying to read him. He stares straight ahead, his expression cold and hard.

By the time we get to Gabe's, I'm a mess. I slide out of the car and head up the walk without waiting. Gabe opens the front door and I bound up the stairs to stand next to him. He loops an arm over my shoulders without even thinking.

Luc pauses at the porch when he sees us, closing his eyes for a second. But then his face clears and he continues up the stairs. “Gabriel,” he says with a nod. He brushes past us into the family room and drops into the chair under the window. Gabe and I follow behind him and sit together on the couch.

Gabe leans into me. “So, what's up?”

Luc's eyes flick to me, and his jaw clenches; then he takes a deep breath. “Something big is going down in Hell. Rhenorian is asking for help.”

“And you think I should give it to him.”

Luc shrugs. “It couldn't hurt.”

“Don't be so sure. You were one of them. You know they can't be trusted.”

“I believe he was sincere.”

“For the moment, I'm sure he was.” Gabe scrutinizes Luc. “But once he has what he wants…”

“I still think we should find a way to support him and his group.” Luc's eyes lock on me. “An uprising against Lucifer could only work to our advantage.”

Gabe shakes his head. “I'll think about it. But, right now, we have other things to deal with. Frannie is leaving tomorrow.”

I push away from him. “I'm what? What the hell are you talking about?”

“We need to get you somewhere safe. I was wrong to think Lucifer would stop coming for you after you were tagged. He won't.”

“Where am I going?”

“As far as your family knows, you'll be in L.A. You were leaving next week anyway.”

I just stare at him, unsure of what to say.

He turns to Luc. “You're going too.”

Luc opens his mouth to protest, but I cut him off, suddenly furious that I seem to have no control over my life. “What if I don't want to go?”

Luc's gaze drops to the floor and I feel Gabe's arm pull me closer.

“I know this is hard, Frannie.” The compassion in Gabe's voice feeds my barely contained frustration.

I spring off the couch. “I need to think,” I say on my way out the door. When I hit the porch, I take off at a run. I run harder when I hear the pounding of footsteps on the sidewalk behind me. I hit the park at the end of Amistad at a sprint and cut through the trees next to the play structure—where I trip on a tree root and skid facefirst into the dirt in a sprawling tumble. My lungs burn and I can't catch my breath. Before I can pull myself up, Luc is standing over me with his hand out.

I ignore his hand. “I don't need you,” I say, pulling myself from the dirt and brushing off my pants.

“I know.”

Don't look at him,
I tell myself. But I can't help it. And when I do, his black eyes seem to go on forever, right to his core, bearing his soul. I feel a tear slip over my eyelashes before I can get myself back under control. “I don't want you.”