PERSONAL: A Stepbrother Sports Romance (12 page)

No.
I exhaled and said out loud. “No, no, no, no…” I wouldn’t let this soften my hardened feelings. I wouldn’t let the crush I had on him years before I even became his family rule
the
endorphins crashing my logic. I wouldn’t let his sea foam eyes make me silly.

Oh his legendary model eyes? Against his olive skin, his sea foam eyes stop strangers in their tracks to take a good look. I’ve only seen such color
on
a solid gray cat. Glowing green eyes. Heck, he was known as “the eyes
.
” Such striking features landed him the Georgi
o
Armani campaign and Time
s
Square housed stor
ies-
tall photos of him dozens of times.

It was as if God saved up a handsome account and poured it right into his genes. Sea foam. Those were the same eyes I saw in my dreams and in my fantasy world. Those were the eyes I stared at every night before I went to bed as a teenager on my ceiling shrine. Oh
,
don’t act like you didn’t have one of JTT, Mark Paul Gooselaar, Johnny Depp, Mario Lopez, or Fredd
ie
Prin
z
e Jr. There was some heartthrob no doubt somewhere in your room, or if not physically, in your dreams. Mine just happened to be of someone who became too close to home. He was the guy I pretended actually liked me and wanted to take me to prom. Being fifteen, I was silly and star
-
struck, just like all my friends. He was a celebrity! Someone I was never supposed to meet or personally know.

As soon as I received the sudden announcement, not only was I shocked about the ending of my parents
’
marriage, but I didn’t know how to process the whole thing; major crush on a celebrity never-in-a-million-years-was-I-supposed-to-meet to okay, now you’re my stepbrother. Well, as of today,
former
stepbrother.

Heat mixed with nervousness, lust, and anger flooded through me all at once. A dichotomy indeed.

Playboy Bradley Rainshaw spotted at
t
own square hours after the reports of his father’s death. TMZ is the first to report this.

Holy hell he looked good. “Miss? Is there anything I can do to make your take
-
off comfortable?”

“Bloody Mary, please. And uh…can you make that a double? And it may just end up the whole bottle. Just saying. We do have twenty hours.”

Bradley

The hot bulb flashes were in overdrive
,
clicking away like a hungry monster with
a
ferocity greater than any capacity I had ever seen before.

“Why the fuck can you just not leave me alone, assholes
,
” I called out at the paparazzi
,
not giving a fuck who quoted me.

I wobbled my way out of the club and shoved my sunglasses on. Nobody would see my hazy eyes, the eyes that stung from tears that wanted to fall at any given moment. Yet I was raised to be strong, that’s what Rainshaws are and that’s what they do. But this. This unexpected sudden loss, well I couldn’t guarantee that poker face for our brand and company. I couldn’t risk looking weak to our investors. And I hated looking too cool for school during the day and in the dark lights of clubs and bars sporting shades, but it is what it is. I slid the shades on to conceal my feelings, my truth, and held my breath to make it through the sea of great white hungry media sharks.

My bodyguard securely guided me past the frenzy with his arm on my back and his other free hand fielding recording devices. “There will be no questioning Mr. Bradley. No pictures. Come on guys. Please respect his loss.”

It would just be three more seconds of chaos before the limo would disappear with me in tow into the maze of cars that famously dressed the hustl
ing
and bustling streets of New York City. It would be straight to the airport where I would board our copter back to our estate in the Hamptons.

“Bradley, are you aware of the deal your father was making, or set to make today? And the environmental factors this has?”

“Are you aware of his black ops projects?”
a
nother reporte
r
shouted.

“Mr. Rainshaw was having an affair with a Puerto Rican woman and has three children. Are you going to cover his child support now?”

These fucking rants were stupid, unwarranted, and unbelievable. At least
,
the last one was. I sighed and grit
ted
my teeth
,
wanting to take my anger out and let one have it. The old me would have. But the old me saw a lot
o
f prison cells and community service hours from my displaced anger and impulsivity, so I’d have to suck it up for just one more minute
.
O
nce inside the limo, I’d pour myself another double to numb the pain and recalculate the company’s plan. As if the death of my only remaining parent wasn’t enough to handle on my plate in one day.

I slid across the leather. My cell phone
was
lighting up like a casino strip in Vegas on New Year
’
s Eve from texts and e
-
mail alerts of the suits demanding my signature on the deal.

Where are you? We need you to sign the deal or it goes bust and the Chengs fly out in two hours.

Where are you?

Is it a yes?

Are we merging?

Do you know how much money is at stake here? Billions!

The company’s future is in your hands.

Don’t fuck things up, Bradley! Be a man. Not a boy this time.

“Fucking unbelievable. They want me to make decisions in this state. D
on’t
they just know my father just breathed his last breath? They were in the same room and saw the same damn scene
,
” I mumbled to myself.

I wanted this to all go away. I wanted to throw my phone out the window and never look at it again. I reached for the amber liquid and poured the double to tango with my already
s
lightly drunken state. The warmth filled my chest with energy, the numbness allowed me to relax for another quiet minute, even if it was induced.

“Liquid courage
,
give me the strength to roll down the window and toss this damn phone out.”

And just like that it buzzed again in my hand. I held it up high, inspecting the device that was as annoying and stinging as a beehive. I pushed the window button allowing the window to drop just a few inches when I stopped. The cold air refreshed my senses and the name flashing across the screen sobered me up quickly.

Madie.

My stepmother.

I'm on my way home from the islands. I just received word. If only I had known sooner, or at least known he was going to be taken away. Just like that. My heart is broken. Truly broken. But I’m greatly saddened for you, my dear. I wish I could be there right now to comfort you. I’ll be there asap. Try and get some rest if you can. And regardless of the press hound, I want you to know, your father loved you dearly and he was proud of you. Kate is in route as well. Just thought you should know. Kisses, my love.

If ever there was reason for another drink it was that final text. Kate.

The young
,
voluptuous Marilyn Monroe look-alike who waltzed into my life and made me feel things no soon-to-be stepsister should ever make her stepbrother feel.

I've never seen a body like that before. Usually a girl has tits and no ass, or ass and no tits; she had the whole banging package topped off with the face of angel
,
with hazel eyes shining bright from a big genuine heart. I’ve never seen a girl’s inner light like that before, a stark contrast from the women that came into my life spinning like a revolving door at Barney’s.

A pile of bricks dropped down to the pit of my stomach. I hated recalling the horrible ordeal. It wasn't even my fault
,
really. I just had sucky friends and made shitty decisions back then. I tried to apologize to make amends but father wouldn't allow any sort of paper trail since he cleaned everything up. And since she made it known she never wanted to see my face again, or speak to me, paper and electronic means were the only plausible way of communication. I did leave her a letter. I never knew if she received it
,
though. It was just like that, a blink of the eye and she was off across the pond to an all
-
girls boarding school in France. I’m convinced she chose the school in a country with a language she didn’t speak just so she could be that much further from facing reality and the hurt I caused.

It always amaze
d
me how someone could be so much a part of your life and then be gone and there
wa
s nothing you c
ould
do about it. It was my greatest regret and I ha
d
n't seen her in eight years. Sometimes I like to think I did her
a
favor
,
but I would never tell her that. The world she was married into
--
she never wanted a part of it at all. She wanted a quiet life in the country just like where she was from. She would've never had such a thing had she continued school with us. She sure did ruffle feathers
the first few weeks at her new school. She instantly became the hottest girl
,
making instant allies and enemies
.
among the feline species.

My friends were so obsessed with her. They literally came to my house just so they could see her and stare at her boobs and ass. And they made their opinion of her known very often. I didn't need those thoughts in my head
,
especially since she slept down the hall from me. I couldn't hide the raging hard
-
on she would always give me just by walking down the hall in her ultra
-
short flo
ral
pajama shorts and tight white cotton tank tops. And sometimes she forgot to put her bra on
,
which was absolute hellish torture. That gave me an instant stiffy and I’d skip breakfast and have to hit the shower, all the while reminding myself
that
she wasn’t a blood relative.

Her mom quickly reprimanded her
,
reminding her that a gentleman also shared the home with her and she needed to dress more appropriately. As much as I hated it, the robes sure did help my focus and I actually thought we'd get along quite well once the whole buffer cleared my focus.

She made life exciting with her innocence and her unbiased view of the world. I love hearing her thoughts whenever our family engaged in family discussions around the dinner table. The south seem
ed
to have soft edges, a way of life I’d never know personally. I found her aura fascinating
,
yet I hid behind my blank stares, but they were definitely feelings of curiosity and growing awe. I simply wanted to see what she had to say about the world. So many other girls were so shallow and had the depth the amount of the quarter. And I found it interesting that even in the hustle and bustle of the city, she maintained a wonder
for
life like an energetic kitten. She gave money to the homeless whenever she had cash and acted almost embarrassed by my family's wealth.

A secret that we were beginning to share before the incident was the appreciation of the literary and artistic world, a surprising fact none of my buddies knew I held. I invited her to accompany me to the opening of
Horseshoe
, a highly acclaimed new play that was the talk of the town. With my family’s name and money,
we
not only had the best seats in the house, but I arranged for her to meet the cast, as well as the director and writer. She took my breath away in her gold satin dress that made headlines the next day in the society pages. Her first official appearance gracing the first page. Her mother was thrilled,
and
Kate turned as green as pea soup.

It was a night of ease for most of the time and it made our parents happy as kids on Christmas. But I felt something more stirring inside and I swore she felt it
,
too. I was treading on dangerous waters
,
but leave it to my asshole friends two weeks later to fuck it all up
anyway
.

My stupid friends were high and drunk and did the most fucked up thing
,
and I took the blame. They pulled an Erin Andrews admirer and filmed her naked in her private time in her bathroom. They uploaded the video online to some porn hub just for laughs. They also made copies for other personal reasons. I was pas
sed
out drunk at the time and woke up to a very rude
,
sober awakening. A moment of regret I’d never forget.

I couldn't shake the hysterical cries I heard coming down the hallway and that was the very last thing I saw of her and then she was gone.

She made sure to visit her mother, but only when I was away. Many of her holidays she spent it with her father
’
s side, just to avoid me.

And that is how,
a
stepbrother and stepsister of nearly eight years go without seeing each other. But I still couldn't shake the feeling I first felt about her. Attraction, desire, lust. Remorse or no remorse, I was seriously fucked; in just a day I’d face the girl who
’d
haunted my dreams for almost a decade.