Perfectly Star Crossed (7 page)

We laid like that for awhile, trying to catch our breath and just enjoying the feeling of being so close. He rolled off of me and laid the sheet over us, gathering me into his arms before we both fell asleep.

Chapter Thirteen - Decisions

I woke up to Isaiah rubbing my bare back. His hands were like magic and I was reminded of the night before. A smile slowly crept to my face. What was I doing? What was he doing to me? Life had been so simple before he entered it. Now he came and mixed up my head and my feelings.

Before him there was just a dark void. The only room I had for emotions was saved for hate and bitterness, now this other emotion was bubbling up inside of me. Love? Had I honestly told him I loved him? I had told many people I loved them, but before it was never true. But this foreign sensation had to be what true love was. It was going to hurt when I lost him. How much longer could this really go on?

I buried my face in his chest and planted light kisses on it. "Good morning, beautiful," he said quietly. The word didn't shock me anymore, but sent a fluttering feeling in my stomach.

"Good morning," I mumbled sleepily. "Do we have to get out of bed today?" I asked and he chuckled.

"I won't make you, but I'm sure your bladder will," he said and I groaned. Just mentioning the word bladder made me have to go.

"Don't move, I'll be right back," I reluctantly rolled out of bed. I felt him stare at me as I walked to the restroom.

"I want to wake up to this every morning," he said in a sigh.

"Me having to pee?" I looked at him over my shoulder. He rolled his eyes.

"No, you walking around in nothing," his gaze traveled all over my body, stopping in certain areas and smiling smugly.

"Don't ever leave," I said simply and walked into the restroom, closing the door behind me. I caught a glance in myself in the mirror and stopped. I laughed, so that's what he was smiling at, hickeys everywhere.

When I was done I climbed back into bed with Isaiah. "You made me into a work of art," I said brightly and he smiled.

"No, you were already a work of art. I just added me own personal touches."

"Well, feel free to do it anytime," I had barely finished my sentence before he had me pinned under him, his lips to my neck. I tilted my head back and laughed. The pain and pleasure mixed and I moaned. He moved and his mouth was on mine in an instant, hot and passionate. I couldn't believe he didn't have morning breath! It was a nice surprise. His bare body was pinned to mine and I could feel every inch of him. My arms and legs wrapped around him, pulling him closer.

We didn't stay in bed all day like we planned because he got another phone call. He was pissed. He cursed and threw on his clothes, giving me a smoldering kiss before he left, promising me he'd be back later.

I lounged in bed, not really doing anything. I couldn't get my mind off of Isaiah. I thought after having sex with him, he'd be out of my system. But really I just wanted more and more of him. This would be the hardest mission to go through with. I could just tell Isaiah and see his reaction. If he really loved me, like he claimed, he would be willing to run away with me.

But they'd find us. Both my Boss and his would search until the end to get to us. We'd never be able to settle down, we couldn't have a true life. But did we have that now? He killed people for a living, and I destroyed them. What kind of life was that? I knew that there was no way we'd work out, but I wanted it. With all that was left of my heart I wanted it.

I knew that Derek was getting impatient, but I planned to keep Isaiah around as long as I could. I would keep making excuses and telling Derek off. Maybe he'd get sick of me blowing him off and have me killed as well. Then at least I wouldn't be living without Isaiah. I doubted, after him, that I would be able to do my job as well as I use to.

I would also ask Derek if he wouldn't mention me to Isaiah when he killed him. He didn't need to know about me. I would break up with him and let Derek do what he wanted, but I wouldn't have any part of the actual killing. I wouldn't let Isaiah know I betrayed him like that.

I was shaken from my thoughts by my phone ringing. I answered it and was met with Derek's voice. I was surprised he called me after our last conversation. "Another one's gone Delilah. Just a guy low on our list, but still. I think they're getting rid of the small guys before coming after the big ones," he spoke fast.

"Then you'll be the last to die, so no worries Derek," I said in a dull tone.

"As if they could get to me," his voice was cocky but had an edge to it. He was scared but too macho to admit it.

"So, what do you want? Just to tell me another nameless person was offed? Well, thanks. Bye now," I went to hang up the phone, but heard him yelling.

"Wait! Are you getting through to that guy yet?" He asked me. I sighed. I was going to lie to him so I could keep Isaiah longer.

"Not really. He's a tough nut to crack, but slowly he's coming around. Don't worry. I got this. Like I said, it's going to take longer than usual. Plus I like being in high school again. It's fun, so have patience with me please?" I asked. He was silent briefly.

"Did you just say please?" He was stunned.

"Politeness gets me places with this guy, so I keep on the façade, don't get use to it," just then I heard my front door open. "He's here, got to go," I hung up the phone and met Isaiah downstairs. Like all of the other times he was shaky. I ran up to him and gathered him in a tight hug. He practically crushed me in his grip before pushing me away so his mouth could meet mine in a rough kiss that I was always awarded with when he came back. I pulled away from him and ran my hands down his wet hair.

I could see in his eyes how vulnerable he was. He wanted to tell me something. He wouldn't, but he wanted to. He ran his hands along my face before whispering in a hoarse voice, "I love you Delilah," I smiled at him.

"I love you too," I quit asking him if he was okay about the fifth time he got a phone call. He would always tell me the same answer, an answer I knew wasn't true, so I stopped. He didn't want to lie to me so I would help him out the best I could.

"I wish I could tell you everything, but I just can't. You can't know, I want you to so bad," his voice cracked. I shushed him.

"It's alright Isaiah, I understand," I kissed his jaw and he blew out air. I was overwhelmed that he felt so much pain over killing somebody who he didn't know, and was part of a gang that killed people without much thought. I could comprehend it a little bit better now that I actually cared for somebody, but he had a huge heart and wondered how he had gotten sucked into all of this. It pained me that I would never find out.

Chapter Fourteen- There is no Hope

Wind whipped around me violently. I was wearing a black dress and my stomach was huge. Pregnant? I held a gun in my shaking hands, noticed that my left ring finger had a huge diamond on it. Was I engaged? The gun was pointed at a figure in front of me. Isaiah. He was on his knees, with his hands tied behind his back and ankles tied together. He wouldn't look at me.

Derek was standing next to me with a smug smile on his face. "Do it, Delilah?" He said harshly. "Do it and be free," my hands shook harder. Isaiah turned his head and looked at me with his deep brown eyes. I stopped breathing. I could see emotion in them, something I had rarely ever been able to see with him. There was pain, betrayal, and despair. All too quickly it was gone and they had gone hard. A chill went through my body.

How had this happened? What was going on? I was so confused! I looked at Derek and found him staring at me. "Have you changed your mind Delilah? I'll do it for you if you don't want to," he said. Then it hit me. I had asked Derek to let me do the killing so I could do it with the least amount of pain. One shot and he'd barely feel it. I knew that if I let Derek do it, he'd shoot him in non-fatal areas and let him bleed to death. I shook my head.

"
I'll do it," I said and took a deep breath. I cocked the gun and aimed, fighting against tears. I willed my body to stop shaking and pulled the trigger.

I sat up in bed, sweating profusely and breathing hard. I looked next to me and found Isaiah sleeping peacefully. I let out a sigh, thank God. I laid my head on his chest and wrapped an arm around his body. His arm reflexively came up and wrapped around my torso and rubbed my back. Tears slipped out of my eyes and I squinted to try and stop them.

Have you ever realized, that the closer you are to quitting something, or letting something or someone go, the tighter you want to hold on to it? You know in your mind, that time is running out so you try to fight time and get as much of whatever is being let go of as you can. That's how I was feeling. I knew that this couldn't last forever. I had a job, and he would find out about it one way or another. He would die, and I would move on to another mission. It was inevitable.

So while I could, I clung to Isaiah. He was warm and tangible at the moment. He wouldn't always be. In a couple weeks or months, he would be cold, lifeless, and buried somewhere, and I would never see him again. My body went cold, my heart stopped, and I froze.

I realized then, that I couldn't live without him. I couldn't do it. He would die, and I would go with him. I laughed to myself. Perfectly star-crossed. Just like fucking Romeo and Juliet. Except, Juliet wasn't hired to destroy Romeo's life. And Romeo didn't have a second identity that he hid from Juliet. And if they hadn't made stupid decisions, they would have gotten a chance to be together. For Isaiah and I, there was no hope.

Chapter Fifteen- Found Out

The dream kept reoccurring and it had me uncharacteristically nervous. Something else that had me nervous… I was late. Yes, late for my period. That was something that never happened to me, I kept careful track of when my menstrual cycle came and left, and it was official, nine days late. I didn't know how I could have been so stupid, Isaiah and I never used protection. When it came to him, I just didn't think about it. We both got so wrapped up in the moment that all thoughts of anything interrupting it vanished.

I forced myself to go to a local drug store this particular day. Isaiah had once again gotten a phone call, and I expected to get a call from Derek soon. I got three different pregnancy tests, just to be certain. I drank a lot of water because it seems that when I actually need to pee, my body goes on shut down and just won't do it. But finally I was able to get my body working with me and waited anxiously. I even bit my nails! I never bite my nails. Slowly the results appeared. I think my heart literally stopped when all of them showed up positive. Fuck. I was pregnant. I sat there for a good half an hour, staring at the tests, not moving a muscle.

My first thought was that the child was not going to have a father. That pained me, for I knew that a father was very important in a child's life. My second thought was how in the world was I going to tell Derek. I knew he would want me to get it aborted. That was something I was not willing to do. I can handle killing full grown adults, they've had their chance to live and most of the people I killed had screwed their chance up so bad that I had no pity for them. Also, I wanted a part of Isaiah with me forever, even if he couldn't be with me. He was the only person I had ever loved and I wanted another person I could love as well.

My final thought though was the worst. I didn't know if I should tell Isaiah about it or not. He wouldn't live to see his offspring grow up. He wouldn't get the joys of seeing his flesh becoming their own person but still being part of him. Did he even want a child? This situation definitely put a damper on my plans.

I was brought out of my thoughts by an urgent knocking on my door. By Isaiah's request I had started locking it. I huffed and stood up, walking over and opening the door. Isaiah was standing there and unwillingly a smile came to my face until I realized that he was not happy. He charged through my door and threw an envelope on my counter.

"I got this today Delilah. I think it might interest you," I opened the letter and my eyes widened. The charade was finally over. The packet held everything about me. My place in the gang, what I did, everything about me. "I'm supposed to kill you!" He screamed. He ran a hand through his hair angrily. "How the fuck am I supposed to do that?" He pulled out a gun. "I would rather take this and shoot myself than cause any harm to you! Where do you stand Delilah? You have played your part so well. Are you proud that I want to off myself instead of you? I knew you were too good to be true. I just fucking knew it!" He pointed the gun at his head and it took all my will power to not gasp and reach for him. I knew what I had to do. He had to leave town. I could not let this man die. I knew he wouldn't kill me, so I had to act cold to him. I had to put on one more façade to drive him away so he couldn't be hurt.

He continued to rant, putting the gun down. "They sent you after me and you played along like you always do. You pretended to care about me, you even pretended to love me," the word 'love' he spat out like it was venom, as if it poisoned him. "At least that's how it started out anyway. It grew into something more didn't it?" The look in his eyes was fierce, but I noted a hint of hope in his voice. I had to look away from those haunting eyes.

"No," I felt like it was all I could say, and I barely got it out, it was merely a whisper.