Perfect Sacrifice (36 page)

"Ramirez!" screamed her brother out of anger, probably finding evidence that lead to that one conclusion.  Gordan only hugged her tighter, trying to save her from having to live with this.  It was just too late.  She would never forget.  There was no way her seven year old mind would let her.

* * * *

Ray awoke with a start, nearly forgetting that she needed to breathe.  She began panting as cold sweat beaded down her face.  She found that her hands were shaking, clenching her sheets so tight that her knuckles were turning white.  Her eyes were so wide that focusing on any one object was impossible.  Before her eyes were the images from her dream.  It was all so clear, so very vivid.

Her entire body was going through a state of shock.  She felt her body locking up on her, and she could no longer control what it did.  She was shivering, that much she knew.  Her throat was dry, and her voice wasn't going to work for her, this she knew.  She began to pray that someone came, that someone would appear at her door to comfort her.

"Ray!" called Leon as he came to her doorway, followed by his father and Chris.  Ray turned to them, her eyes slowly narrowing, healing from her shock.  "Are you alright?" he asked her.  "We heard you scream."

They walked into her room, heading over to her bed.  She hung her head, her mind still swimming.  She wasn't so sure about this anymore, sure if she wanted them there or not.  If they asked, she would have to tell them.  Did she want to?  Did she want them to know about what had happened to her parents?  It's not like Dr. Solaris didn't already know.  He did work for the GRC after all, or at least he used to.

"Ray, what's wrong?" asked Chris softly, but she didn't respond.  She couldn't.  Her voice wouldn't work for her.

"Probably just a nightmare," offered Leon.  Ray only lowered her head further, wishing that's what it had been.

"If only…" she managed to whisper out, drawing their attention.  All three boys went to her side.  Leon got down on his knees next to her bed, now looking up at her, but her face was still hidden by her hair.

"What did you say?" he asked her gently.

"If only…" she began, "it had been…just a nightmare."  She trembled as the images found their way to her mind again.  She closed her eyes, trying to rid herself of them, but it just wasn't working.  They would haunt her for the rest of her life.

"What do you mean?" asked Dr. Solaris.

"It…it wasn't a nightmare," she whispered, making it difficult to hear her.  "It was…a memory."  All three of them stared at her, wondering what kind of memory could upset her this badly.  "Something that I…I wasn't supposed to see."

"What?" questioned Leon, confused.  She wasn't making any sense now.  Why couldn't she just tell them what it was that was bothering her?

"Dr. Solaris?" she asked softly, raising her head a little.  "You were there, at the base…weren't you?"

"When?" he asked just as softly.

"The night my parents died," she said, making sure to avoid Chris and Leon's eyes.  She didn't need to see the sympathy in them, which was indeed there.  Neither one had known that she had lost her parents.

Leon inhaled sharply when those words fell from her lips.  They were so soft that they lacked almost any emotion.  He hadn't been expecting her to say that.  True, she had never once mentioned her parents, but he hadn't known that they were dead.  He never would have guessed that as a possibility.  Now the only question was why…and perhaps how.

"Yes," responded Dr. Solaris, his eyes fogging over with the distant and painful memory.  "I was."

"Then please…please tell me," she begged.  "How did they die?  What happened?  I only…I only saw their room when I was standing in the hallway."  Dr. Solaris crossed his arms and lowered his head.  This was one story he didn't like telling.  He had been there that night, and he had seen the room.  He wasn't sure if this was something he wanted Leon and Chris to hear.  It would possibly alter the way they looked at the ace knight before them.  Perhaps it was time, however.  Maybe they'd see why she deserved so very much respect and courtesy.

"Please?" she whispered one last time before he made up his mind.

"It was Ramirez," he began.  "From what I remember, we discovered that he most likely came through the window.  He was equipped with a gun and a blade of some kind.  Your parents were…"  He paused, making sure that
he
was ready for this.  The memory was indeed a horrible one.  "He shot them…" David continued, "ten times, maybe twenty, and he used the blade to…"  He watched as Ray's eyes widened.  She had only seen her parents from a distance.  She had been so young that she couldn't remember all the details.  Dr. Solaris didn't even need to continue for her to understand what had happened.

Chris and Leon were taking this just as hard as Ray was.  Neither boy really
wanted
to hear this, but at the same time neither one could stop listening.  It was in so many ways disturbing yet so very intriguing.  This was like a horror story, only this one wasn't fiction.  Not only that, but the woman they were sitting with had experienced it first hand.

"By the time we saw them," continued Dr. Solaris in a much softer tone.  "You couldn't even tell what they were anymore."  Ray hung her head as she fought back tears for her parents for the second time in her life.  So many people had wondered if she would ever be okay after the incident.  She hadn't cried once.  She wouldn't let herself, even at that age.  She couldn't.  It had just been too much of a shock for her seven year old mind.  Her brother had cried.  She could remember it all so vividly.  It was one moment in her life that she wished would just fade away.  Why was it the bad memories that stayed so clear in the mind?

She clenched her fists tightly, and Dr. Solaris was afraid that she'd break the skin on her palms at this rate.  It's not like she would care.  The mental agony was so much harder to deal with.  Now he had just put his two sons through what Ray had had to experience.  He wondered if they were as horrified as he had been when he had first seen it.  The GRC instantly knew it had been Ramirez.  His name had been panted in blood on the wall.

"Why?" asked Ray softly, her voice barely audible anymore.  "What did they do?  Why did he kill them?"

"They were officials for the GRC," explained Dr. Solaris.  "They were also spies for us.  When they had been discovered, Ramirez vowed to get revenge."  Dr. Solaris lowered his head.  "He never stops when he's set on something."

Leon was beginning to worry.  Did this mean that he was never going to be safe?  Was Ramirez going to kill him no matter what?  How had he gotten himself into this again?  He was beginning to wish that he had never followed Ray that one day.  His fate was now sealed because of just one small mistake. 

He thought this over a little more, and he was hit with realization.  He looked over to the ace knight who sat next to him, her head also down in thought.  She was off of her probation period, yet she had asked if she could come back.  He hadn't known why until now. 
She came back for me.
  For some reason, the idea quelled a little of the fear.  Maybe he'd make it out of this whole thing alive after all.  However, that was an awful lot of faith to put into one person, especially since she seemed to have enough problems of her own to deal with.

"Dr. Solaris," she said, catching the older man's attention.  "Thank you for telling me."  She forced on a small smile and raised her head.  "However, I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight."

"That's alright," he assured her.  "I won't force you to."  He turned away, now facing the door.  "Come on boys."  Leon and Chris stood up and began to follow their father.  It was time to give Ray some space.  She probably needed some time to think.  They'd give her all the time she needed.

Ray sat on her bed, staring at her hands that were now gently folded in her lap.  She finally knew the whole story.  She knew what had happened to her parents.  Ramirez was sicker than she had originally thought.  He didn't only kill her parents, he slaughtered them.  Now he was killing her new family.  He had to be stopped, and she was going to be the one to do so.  Someday she was going to kill him.  She'd make sure of it.  Besides, as long as he was alive, she had to remain at the Solaris base.  After all, a promise was a promise.  She couldn't just abandon Leon now.

After about an hour of thinking, she began to get bored.  She couldn't just sit there.  She needed something to do.  Therefore, she decided to get up and walk around for a while.  She got out of her bed, dressed in only her moon blue shorts and white t-shirt.  She quickly left her room and began to head towards the living room.  She had nothing better to do, after all.

Ray walked over to the window, looking up at the clear night sky.  It was absolutely breathtaking.  A beautiful white glass moon hung amongst the sparkling stars in the velvety black night.  The moon on Des was beautiful on its own.  It was a rich white moon that shed light across the desert, painting the sands a pale blue.  It reflected like silver, sparkling from a distance.

Ray hopped up onto the window ledge, turning her attention to the vast sea of stars and silver before her.  She was content for now.  Just staring at the clear desert night was fine for tonight.  Despite the fact that it was two in the morning, she wasn't tired.  It was kind of hard to be after a nightmare like that.  She would probably be up for the rest of the night.  It didn't matter though.  She was fine right where she was.

* * * *

Leon was walking down the hallway, his hands shoved into his pockets.  He was supposed to be sleeping, but he didn't care.  He wasn't tired anymore.  He would probably just have nightmares anyway after that bedtime story.  He was surprised that Ray was even able to sleep one peaceful night with a memory like that.  Just how young had she been when it had happened?  Normally he'd just ask a question, but not this time.  This wasn't a subject she liked discussing; he could see it in her eyes.  More like in her eye, since the whole left half of her face was covered.  Why he didn't know.  Maybe he'd ask someday.

Leon walked out into the living room, but he froze in the entryway as his eyes fell on the window.  Ray was sitting there, staring out at the desert.  She was just sitting on the windowsill, unaware that he was even there.

Leon began to feel strange as he watched her sit there.  Her figure was bathed in moonlight, reflecting off her soft hair.  It paled her skin, making her appear otherworldly.  She looked like a goddess as she just sat there, the moon shedding its grace on her.  Her lone cherry eye had a glint of silver in it, reflecting in the window pane.  She was beautiful, something that Leon, being a guy, couldn't help but notice.

He began to back away, not wanting to disturb her.  He knew that if she saw him, she'd leave.  However, he wanted to stay and watch her some more.  He liked just staring at her.  Unfortunately, he stepped on one of the few creaky boards in the floor, and Ray jumped.  She turned to look at him, and he just stood stock still, feeling nervous under her eyes.  They just stared at each other for a while, neither one knowing just what to say.

Ray got down from the window and walked to the couch, not saying a word to Leon.  It was only after she sat down that she spoke up.

"What are you doing up?" she asked him, making sure to keep her voice down.

"I couldn't sleep," he answered just as softly, not moving from where he was.

"Sorry," she said as she hung her head.

"No, no, it's not your fault," he said, feeling a little nervous.  He hadn't meant to make her feel guilty.

Ray sighed.  She knew that despite what he said, it was her horror story that was keeping him up.  That's why she had debated with herself until the last minute whether or not to ask Dr. Solaris while his sons were present.  However, she had thought that it would be Chris who would be kept awake, not Leon.

"You can sit down you know," she said after a while.  It didn't take long for Leon to make his way over to the couch.  He sat down next to her, still not saying a word.  Exactly what was he supposed to say?  What could he say to her after a nightmare like that?  He couldn't offer her any comfort or condolence.  He could only keep his mouth shut to make sure he didn't make things worse.

Ray must have sensed his distress, because all she did was sigh and lean forward.  She propped her elbows on her legs and placed her chin in her hands.

"You don't have to feel sorry for me," she said at last, drawing his attention.  "I don't need any sympathy.  It happened a long time ago.  Forget about it."

"But I thought…" he began, only to get cut off.

"I don't care," she said, but her voice gave her away.  "It was long ago.  You should just forget you ever heard it."

"Ray," he began softly.  "It's alright if you…want to cry about it."

"No," she said, nearly cutting him off.  "I said I'll be fine.  Besides, I don't cry.  I didn't then, and I won't now."  Leon turned to her, surprised at what she had just said.

"You never cried for your parents?" he asked.  She just shook her head.

Leon stared at her for a while, wondering what would posses her not to.  He had cried for his mother.  How couldn't she cry for hers?  She had lost both parents.  He couldn't even begin to imagine the pain.  To have so much pride that she couldn't even cry wasn't healthy.  She was holding in everything that needed to be let out.