Perfect Peace (46 page)

Eva Mae watched Christina waltz like Cinderella through the gym door. Having come alone, Eva Mae envied her and all the other girls who clung to boys their mothers hoped they’d marry. Eva Mae had wanted to come with Paul,
since he was her best friend, but they were far past the age when others thought of their union as adorable. “Get you a real man!” her mother advised, but none of the local boys called on her. They said she had the body but not the face. Eva Mae dismissed them in jest, then realized, at the dance, that she was falling in love with her childhood playmate.

“Hey!” Paul called, and waved enthusiastically.

Eva Mae tried to smile.

He and Christina approached. “How do I look?” Paul raised his arms and swiveled slowly.

“Really good. And Christina, you look nice, too.”

“Thanks, Eva Mae. I like your earrings.”

“Thanks.”

Eva Mae almost asked Paul if they could escape to the field of clovers, just for a little while, but instead she told Christina, “Blue’s my favorite color,” and proceeded to stroke her puffed sleeves. Christina wanted to tell Eva Mae that she looked nice, too, but since Paul hadn’t said it, she feared the lie wouldn’t be believable. Eva Mae’s brown, obviously cheap dress clashed with her navy blue skin tone, and, as always, her hair sprouted from her head like a field of wild dandelions.

“Where’s Caroline and your brother?” Eva Mae asked.

“I don’t know. He went to get her before I went to Christina’s.”

Eva Mae smirked and asked Christina, “So . . . how much do you like Paul?”

“Pardon me?” she whispered.

Eva Mae practically shouted. “I said, how much do you like Paul!”

“Eva Mae! What’s wrong with you?”

“I just wanted to know how much she likes you, that’s all. Did I ask too much?” Her feigned innocence frustrated Paul.

“Just drop it, okay?”

“Okay, fine. I didn’t mean any harm. I’m sorry, Christina, if I embarrassed you.”

“It’s okay.”

Eva Mae’s jealousy swelled. Paul narrowed his eyes at her and she knew they’d fall out later. For now, she tried to ease the tension with “Paul, you look better than any of these other guys. Don’t you think so, Christina?”

Christina nodded and excused herself to greet other friends.

“What’s wrong with you, Eva Mae?”

“Nothin’s wrong with me. I can tell she likes you, and I just wanted to know how much.”

“But don’t ask her in front of all these people!”

“Ain’t none o’ these folks listening to us. Plus, who cares?”

“I care!”

“Why? ’Cause you like her, too?”

“Maybe. And I don’t want her to feel shame. Just back off, okay.”

“Whatever. You can have Christina Cunningham if you want her. Far be it from me to be in the way.”

“Oh! You’re jealous.”

“No I ain’t jealous. Why I gotta be jealous of her?”

“ ’Cause you think I like her more than I like you.”

Eva Mae looked away.

“Girl, listen. You my best friend. Ain’t nothin’ gon’ change that. You was there when my own family wasn’t. I’ll never love anybody the way I love you.”

“Never?”

“Never.”

“Okay.” Eva Mae brightened. “Now I won’t have to whip Christina’s ass for messin’ with my man.”

“Get outta here, girl!” Paul said playfully, but Eva Mae wasn’t playing.

Suddenly, everyone gasped. Caroline entered with Bartimaeus, draped in Gus’s good suit. He looked rather handsome, many said. Yet it was Caroline who took people’s breath away. Cloaked in a flowing yellow chiffon dress, she wore an air of confidence no one had ever seen on her. Her size, which had once been a liability, was clearly an asset now as she pranced across the dance floor, flaunting rotund hips with pride and delight.

“Go ’head, girl!” Eva Mae hollered, shattering the silence. Youngsters roared and applauded.

Bartimaeus beamed with pride. Earlier in the evening, he had hugged Caroline and told her, “Hold your head up, honey. I feel yo’ beauty all over you.” He lifted her chin. “Can’t you see it?”

She said no.

“Well, I can. It’s a shame what folks wit’ eyes can’t see.”

“I’m too fat to be pretty,” she whined.

Bartimaeus felt for her hands. “You de most beautiful girl I know. I know how big you is, and I likes every bit of it.”

Caroline snickered.

“I ain’t jokin’. I’m serious. I likes you ’cause you a lotta human. Big don’t mean ugly, baby, and thin sho don’t mean pretty. If a person wanna be pretty, they gotta walk pretty and act pretty and talk pretty. Can’t nobody take pretty from you. Every time I hold yo’ hand all I feel is pretty all ’cross yo’ fingertips.”

He tickled her fingers with his own, and Caroline squealed. Bartimaeus’s words had unleashed an instantaneous transformation in her. That was all she had ever wanted—someone to search for and find beauty in her. Having been on the verge of suicide countless times, she gladly considered that the world had been wrong about her. Maybe she
was
pretty and she
was
desirable and she
was
worthy. And, anyway, if she wasn’t, Bartimaeus believed she was, and that was all that mattered.

She sashayed across the dance floor and posed in front of Eva Mae and Paul.

“Oh my God, girl! Look at you!” Eva Mae screamed. Paul covered his mouth.

Caroline fingered her mother’s dangling silver earrings. “How I look?”

“Amazing,” Paul said.

“Girl, you look fabulous!”

“Well, if a blind man call you pretty,” she said, winking at Paul, “you shonuff oughta believe it!”

They giggled and studied the room for fashion faux pas they’d gossip about later. Christina returned.

“Will you dance with me?” Paul asked her.

“Um . . . sure . . . but I’m not really good.” She feared others would immediately notice her self-conscious movements.

“Well I am,” Paul boasted. “So follow me.”

In the center of the room, he slid his left arm around her waist until it rested at the base of her spine. With his right hand he clutched her left, and her right hand rested naturally on his left shoulder. They stood closer than they ever had.

“Just flow with me,” Paul whispered in her ear.

Christina followed, and found herself floating across the dance floor. Paul’s ease, comfort, and authority impressed her, yet the enmity in Eva Mae’s eyes stifled Christina’s pleasure. Each time Paul swung her in the other girl’s direction, Eva Mae’s expression asked her,
How could you?
and Christina stiffened with guilt. Paul noticed the nonverbal exchange and maneuvered
Christina until her movements escaped Eva Mae’s purview. Then he pulled Christina closer, wanting to feel the warmth of her body, and she surrendered. The outer edge of her bra brushed his muscular chest, and Paul backed a bit to conceal his budding erection.

“You wanna dance?” Caroline asked Bartimaeus.

“Okay, but I ain’t never danced before.”

He stepped on her feet repeatedly but Caroline didn’t care. She was enjoying her newfound confidence. With each compliment, her ego had grown throughout the evening, until now, twisting and twirling in the center of the dance floor, she felt gorgeous for the first time in her life. Bartimaeus giggled, enjoying her graceful flow and giving thanks that God had used him to initiate it.

Eva Mae watched her and waved. If Caroline could get a man, she thought, what was her problem?

Bartimaeus pulled Caroline close and whispered, “Will you marry me?”

She froze. “What did you say?”

“I said, will you marry me, Miss Caroline.” He was smiling.

“Me? You askin’ me?”

“Yeah, I’m askin’ you.”

She dropped his hands and clutched her chest. “You wanna marry
me
?”

Bartimaeus laughed. “Of course I wanna marry you, silly. You the prettiest girl I know and you sweeter’n sugar.”

“Oh my God.”

“Does that mean yes or no?”

“I don’t know.”

“What’s the problem? You don’t like me?”

“Oh no! It’s not that. It’s not that at all.”

“Then what is it?”

Caroline exhaled. “Is you really sure you wanna marry me? I ain’t nothin’ special. And I’m real fat.”

Bartimaeus reached for her face. “Listen to me, Caroline, and I ain’t gon’ say this again. You’re everything I need. I know what size you is, and I like it. I told you that already. Don’t you never say you ain’t special no more. You exactly the way you s’pose to be, and I wouldn’t change nothin’ ’bout you.”

He felt Caroline’s tears crawl over his fingers.

“Ain’t nobody never said nothin’ to me like that before.”

“Well, I’m gon’ keep sayin’ it ’til you believe it.”

Caroline embraced him so tightly he teased, “Okay, woman. Don’t squeeze me to death.”

She kissed his cheeks. “Marryin’ you would make me the happiest girl in the world.”

“Is that a yes?”

“No,” she said. “It’s a Lawd-have-mercy, thank-you-Jesus yes!”

Bartimaeus hollered, and the couple danced the night away.

When Johnny Ray entered, cloaked in a tan worsted wool tweed jacket, dark brown pants, and a white shirt, Paul feared Christina would notice him staring. He tried to hang his head and turn away, but somehow, seconds later, he was looking again. Violet hung on Johnny Ray’s arm as though she were already his wife, and Paul thought,
If she only knew.
He liked Violet. She wasn’t particularly pretty, but she had an hourglass shape everyone admired, and that alone made her beautiful to most. Her hair was pulled into a bun, making her already huge eyes look even bigger. The mustard yellow, straight-cut dress hung nicely on her, Paul thought, and reminded him of the yellow dress he wore to his eighth birthday party. Their eyes met, Paul’s and Johnny Ray’s, and, for an instant, Paul swore he felt a connection. Johnny Ray nodded a greeting—which was more than he usually did—and Paul responded with a smile wide enough to show every tooth in his mouth. Did Mister know that Johnny Ray liked Violet?
Did
Johnny Ray like Violet? They had probably talked about it out in the woods, Paul assumed. He probably accompanied Violet to the party just to be nice. He was sweet like that, and that’s why Paul couldn’t stop glancing at him.

“She must be pretty,” Christina said.

“Huh?”

“The girl you keep lookin’ at. She must be pretty.”

“Oh no! I ain’t lookin’ at nobody. I’m just lookin’ around in general. You know. Just to see who came with who.”

“Sure.”

“No, really,” Paul lied. “I’m just nosy, you know?”

“Un-huh.”

Damn!
He closed his eyes and finished the dance. “Would you like some punch?”

“Yes, please.”

They followed the crowd to the refreshment table where Eva Mae had been left standing the entire evening.

“He’s cute, ain’t he?” she whispered to Paul.

“Stop that!” he mouthed. “You can’t say that out loud!”

Eva Mae’s uproarious laughter made others gaze in wonder. The more she thought of it—what she knew that Christina and Violet didn’t—the louder she bellowed.

“Stop it, Eva Mae!” Paul screeched. “Just stop it!”

She was out of control. Had she followed her heart, she would have taken Paul to the field of clovers and performed their childhood ritual, thereby reminding him that she, not Christina, had always been his lover. She would have told Violet that Joshua Henson loved her more than Johnny Ray Youngblood ever would, and that, in fact, Johnny Ray didn’t love her at all. She would have informed Christina that dating Paul was a monumental waste of time, although he was a wonderful person, and she would have bet a week’s wages that Paul would never marry her. Yet since she couldn’t say any of this, she found it all the more hilarious.

“Eva Mae!” Paul grabbed her arm. “Will you stop this, please?”

Each time she glanced at one of the girls, she screamed louder. Everyone was looking now, wondering why Eva Mae had suddenly become obnoxious.

“What’s wrong with you, Eva Mae!” Paul muttered into her ear.

“Me? What’s wrong with
me
? Are you kidding?”

The question unleashed a cackling that made others nervous. In their curiosity, the youths subconsciously formed a circle around Eva Mae and whispered about her erratic behavior.

“What’s going on?” Caroline asked Paul. “Why is Eva Mae laughing like that?”

“I don’t know,” Paul murmured, embarrassed.

Eva Mae shook her head and panted, “Wooo weee!” as she clutched her sides. “Ump, ump, ump. Lord have mercy!”

Violet drew nearer to Johnny Ray, and Eva Mae’s laughter intensified. Tears streamed from her eyes as she stumbled toward the exit like a woman possessed. Paul followed.

“I’ll be back in a minute,” he told Christina. “I’ma see if I can figure out what’s going on.”