Authors: Monica Miller
For Nikki Perry
Thank you so much for
everything
Prologue
I was standing in the church, just a few hours before the inevitable.
Watching the decoration with a broken heart, my eyes fell on the pure white matching the dark red, and the white carpet on the aisle was covered with rose petals. There were bouquets of roses at the end of every bench, and the staff from the orchestra started to appear from the back door.
Walking slowly towards the altar, I felt the petals bending underneath my heels and I sighed. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This is not the way things were supposed to go!
I shouldn’t be here, full of regrets, waiting for him to make a completely wrong decision.
I remembered his smile, the way it lightened my day just like the sweet sunshine, how he had understood me completely every time, and every situation, and he had been there, always next to me, supporting me, caring about me… And now he was about to make the most important step with… somebody else.
And I couldn’t change anything anymore. I couldn't understand
why
. I couldn't understand
how
. And I was standing in front of the altar, with nothing else but regrets and old memories that I would never recover.
First Part
Chapter 1
Meeting Matt
~*~
E
mma
W
est
~*~
The day I’d first met Matt was not out of the ordinary. It wasn’t that kind of moment of confusion, where everything is unfitted, and the first time I ever laid my eyes on him, my heart would stop and I would know that this was meant to be. No. It wasn’t like that at all.
It was a rainy day, and I was in my high school Organization office, having too much on my mind to think of anything else. I was a great planner at least that was what everybody said. I was good at dividing responsibilities and I could accept congratulations after an incredible party. I was staying over the program, because the Prom was so close, and after all, I loved being in high school. It hasn’t been an extraordinary period of my life, something that would change my personality and the way I think completely, but it has been something to keep. Memories I could remember in five, ten years from now and still smile. And for that, I wanted to take advantage of the time left in Saint Swintin High School.
It wasn’t like I didn’t have a choice or I didn’t have anything else to do, but in fact… Really, I had anything else to do. All my friends were busy worrying about college or Prom, maybe both. At home, my mother would only talk about how I should act in my first days after I move to L.A. She’d give me loads of advices and I was getting pretty sick of them.
I was so tired, but proud of everything. I’ve passed the exams with grades I considered more than acceptable and I got into UCLA, a college in Los Angeles, and my parents were more than proud of my achievements. They had done a lot for me. I had studied a lot. There had been a lot of discipline in my schedule, my behavior, and now everything was about to change and I wanted Prom to be great, not just for me, but for all my colleagues.
The confetti was ready; the tables had artificial lilies in transparent vases, and the high school symbol was hanging all over the place, sparkling, wheeling at every breeze of air. I still had to figure about the lights, but everybody was on a break. Colleen, one of my friends, had offered to bring me coffee and meantime, I checked the initial plan.
“Excuse me. Are you Emma West? I studied here three years ago and I wanted to see Mrs Melville, and the director sent me here.”
“Hey,” I answered casually, running my hand through my hair, which was a complete mess, standing in every direction, strands falling from my improvised tail. “Yes, I’m Emma. Mrs Melville is…” I sighed and looked around the room. “Outside most likely. We decided to take a break.”
I couldn’t dare to think about how awful I looked. But that wasn’t really the point. I’d done all the hard work around here, and that’s what counted.
“Although, you haven’t,” he noticed watching my party plan in my hands. “Are you sure the candles are your best option for lighting? Are you being serious?” He asked with a cocky smile. “I don’t want to interfere, or anything, but we’re talking about high school kids. At least 15% of the girls are going to burn their hair because of them, and about 30% are going to burn these… nice tablecloths.”
“What about
the
tablecloths?” I jumped.
“Nothing. They match the decorations and especially the high school color, but they’re impersonal somehow, if you accept my humble opinion,” he suggested.
I put my hands on my hips and took a deep breath. I was on a break, even though I hadn’t accepted it. He couldn’t come here and complain about my tablecloths! I lost an important part of my patience arguing with the rest of my team about them, and I’d lost over a day to pick a model. And I’d lost other days worrying about everything. I’d done everything around here. There was supposed to be a Prom committee or something, and there was indeed, but they weren’t helping. I did everything, because they only cared to argue and say ‘no’ to every suggestion. High school kids!
“Who does
he
think he is?” I wondered out loud.
“Ah. Sorry. I’m Matt Nicholls. I’m sorry,” He smiled clumsily and stretched out his hand. His brunette hair was perfectly styled, beneath a black Michael Jackson-style hat, his clothes were so elegant and he definitely seemed to be well-educated. He was wearing a dark grey suit, and a black shirt with a white tie, and he’d taken off the jacket, keeping it on his arm now. And those eyes… God! They were the most amazing blue eyes I have ever seen. “Since I’ve studied here and… I’m sorry. I had no right to interfere with your stuff. Just I’m a control-freak, obsessed with the smallest details, for instance those candles. I suggest put some lights on the walls, or on the ceiling, maybe something like the globes, different colored…”
“Maybe you’re right,” I admitted, turning around to watch the ballroom, knowing that was a better idea. I closed my eyes, imagining the whole place.
It had to be an intimate place, but also relaxing without any pressure. A place that would invite you to have fun, yet where you’d feel like home instead of school. With pictures from yearbooks, power points with funny, emotional moments, dancing and… fun. And Matt’s idea was a step closer to fulfill my goal.
“Thank you, Matthew,” I smiled. “Mrs Melville is right over there,” I pointed towards the doors.
“Thanks,” he returned the smile.
Taking his briefcase from the table, he headed towards Mrs Melville. I sighed, watching him go. Then suddenly, he stopped, turning until we were face to face again, and smiled.
“What would you say if I asked out? I’m buying.”
“I think I’d say yes,” I accepted immediately, admiring his confidence.
The fact that I accepted his proposal that fast really made me wonder. I wasn’t that type of girl at all. One who’d fall for someone’s looks, no matter how great that person was. I was pretty aware of what I wanted and deserved and so far nothing has stopped me from achieving my goal.
So it was really weird to accept the fact that some random, handsome guy appeared here, criticizing my hard work, then he flashes me a smile and immediately I accepted his proposal? I mean, what was the matter with me?
But when I returned to my work, I felt more inspired than I had been before and I had an annoying smile on my lips.
Chapter 2
Best Offer
~*~
E
mma
W
est
~*~
I have known from the beginning that Matt wasn’t my knight in armor, or any other cliché they talk about in movies.
Matt was really great. We got along very well since day we’d first met, but I had always thought that when you’re going to meet
the
one
, you’d definitely know. That’d be just like the movies, the stars will align and the time will just stop, and that moment your eyes meet his, nothing else would matter.
Well, it wasn’t like that with Matt. He offended my ego with his indications of good organizer, but after I got to know him, that wasn’t a problem anymore. I gave him suggestions and indications all the time and that was sort of normal between us.
But my heart doesn’t stop when I look at him, although when we touch I can feel a shiver tingling down my spine. But that doesn’t mean it is just like the movies. And that was my explication (or excuse) for not dating Matt. But I didn’t know his.
Since we’d met, almost two weeks ago, he had invited me out. To my surprise, I accepted immediately his proposal, so the next day we went my favorite café, not too far from my house. We have been there for about four hours just talking and laughing about everything. It was really weird how many things we had in common and how easy it was to talk to him. You’d think being around someone as handsome as Matt would be totally weird, but it wasn’t. Being around Matt was the most natural thing. And that made me feel a little unsure about how I felt.
I remember every time I went on a date. I’d spend the days leading to the big day feeling insecure. Then during the date I’d become quite talkative out of nervousness. And the boys were not as great as the guy standing so relaxed in front of me, with his face so bright like he had no worry in the world.
“How is everything going with the Prom thing?” he asked ending my reverie.
“Fine. It’ll be great. And your ideas were really inspiring, Matt,” I told him, all smiles. He smiled back, showing his perfect teeth. “Thank you.”
“No need to thank me,” he answered, smirking. “And who is taking you to Prom, Miss West?”
“Who is taking me to… um… Prom?”
“Yes, you know that thing you’re organizing so intensely, and the reason we met. I think that was a lucky moment, right? That’s a Prom, where students go to have fun after four, long high school years, and there is dancing, and boys invite girls… So who invited you?”
I just sat there for a minute, thinking about what he had said. In theory, Matt was right, because you have to bring a date to Prom, everybody knows that! But… Apparently I, the best planner in the school, had let that slip. A date? Five days before Prom?
And then I realized how caught up I was with everything that had happened recently, and how screwed up my life was. I didn’t have a social life, at least not an interesting one, but I had a few good friends. But… I hadn’t gone out on a date since… forever? Damn! I was acting like I had no life, being so obsessed with the organizations.
Could I have forgotten something so important? Like a date for Prom?
“Hey, you…” he spoke after a dead silence. “I’m going to ask you a question, okay?”
“Yes…” I whispered softly then I wondered if he heard my answered.
“Emma West, you don’t have a date for Prom?”
In the next moment an uncomfortable silence lingered between us. Of course I didn’t have a date! But I only knew Matt for about a week and this wasn’t the proper moment to talk about my exes and future boyfriends, and so on, and so forth. We got along just fine, but we barely knew each other.
That wasn’t actually true. I knew a lot of things about him, and I had told him a lot of things about me, but somehow two weeks felt too little to get into that kind of details.
I had no idea if he had a girlfriend. For a brief moment, I wished he hadn’t, although I don’t know why I felt like that. Matt wasn’t for me, he was too… perfect? And I don’t date players like him. Guys who look way too good to be real, and act like they own the world, and like it’s so easy to be in their shoes.
“No,” I whispered, as softly as before.
“Emma…” he paused getting closer to me, and when he talked again, he looked at me with those deep, perfect blue eyes: “That’s not a problem. I could go with you. I love those things and I am eager to see the result of your hard work. Obviously, if you want me to.”
“Are you kidding me? Going with a guy who graduated The University of Connecticut? Of course I want to!” I jumped in his arms, ignoring the shiver down my spine and the butterflies flying all through my stomach. “Matt, you’re the best!”
“Yes, I really needed to hear that,” he answered with a satisfied smile on his beautiful face.
Because he was. Matt was so beautiful, in a classy-innocent way. He is that kind of guy who can make you fall for him simply by smiling at you. And he was so damn attractive. But it didn’t mean I was in love with him or something like that. Or that I felt attracted to him. Because I was not attracted to him. Well, maybe a little bit. But who wouldn’t feel attracted to him? You could only observe every waitress who looked at him like she’d do… anything for and to him. It’s really annoying and disturbing to have girls eating Matt with their eyes.