Percy Jackson's Greek Gods (37 page)

AFTERWORD

S
O THOSE ARE THE BASICS
.

I know some of you are going to be complaining, like,
Ah, you forgot to talk about Cheez Whiz, the god of mice! You forgot to mention Bumbritches, the god of bad fashion statements!
Or whatever.

Please. There are about a hundred thousand Greek gods out there. I’m a little too ADHD to include every single one of them in a single book.

Sure, I could tell you how Gaea raised an army of giants to destroy Olympus. I could tell you how Cupid got his girlfriend, or how Hecate got her farting weasel. But that would take a whole other book. (And please don’t give the publisher any ideas. This writing gig is HARD!)

We’ve covered most of the major players. You probably know enough now to avoid getting zapped into a pile of ash if you ever come across any of the twelve Olympians.

Probably.

Me, I’m late to meet my girlfriend. Annabeth is going to kill me.

Hope you enjoyed the stories. Stay safe out there, demigods.

Peace from Manhattan,

LIST OF
ILLUSTRATIONS

(Tap on an image title to be taken to that image.)

Title page:
Mount Olympus

The Beginning:
Chaos

“The first god, if you can call it that, was Chaos—a gloomy, soupy mist with all the matter in the cosmos just drifting around.”

The Beginning:
Ouranos, Gaea, and some of their children

“Without a word, he wrapped them in chains and tossed them into Tartarus like bags of recycling.”

The Beginning:
Kronos

“When Kronos saw the scythe, his eyes gleamed.”

The Golden Age:
Kronos’s palace

“…in gratitude for their freedom, they constructed a massive palace for Kronos on top of Mount Othrys…”

The Golden Age:
Prometheus creates humans out of clay

“One day he…sculpted a couple of funny-looking figures similar to Titans, only much smaller and easier to smash.”

The Golden Age:
Kronos with Rhea’s fake baby

“She marched right up to King Cannibal and shouted, ‘This is the best baby yet! A fine little boy named, uh, Rocky!
’
”

The Olympians:
Mount Ida

“Zeus had a good childhood on Mount Ida.”

The Olympians:
Zeus confronting Kampê

“She raised her whip and howled, ‘RAWRGGGGWRRR!
’
”

The Olympians:
Atlas holding up the sky

“They chained Atlas to the mountain and forced the entire weight of the sky onto his shoulders.”

Zeus
:
Zeus

“I know he’s the king of Olympus and all—but trust me, this dude’s ego does
not
need to get any bigger.”

Hestia:
Hestia

“She was…like the goddess next door—sweet and pretty in an unpretentious way.”

Hestia:
Prometheus stealing fire from Hestia

“…Prometheus sneaked out of Olympus with his secret burning licorice stick and gave it to the humans.”

Demeter:
Demeter

“Not only was Demeter good-looking, but she was also kindhearted (mostly), and she knew how to bake awesome bread and cookies…”

Demeter:
Demeter punishing mortals who threatened her sacred grove

“Demeter grew to massive height—towering above the trees like Grainzilla…”

Persephone:
Persephone

“She was sure the whole world had been invented just for her pleasure.”

Persephone:
Hades approaching Persephone from the Underworld

“She was reaching down to pick a beautiful red flower when the ground rumbled.”

Persephone:
Demeter curses the earth

“…on the rest of the earth, everything withered and died just as she’d threatened.”

Hera:
Hera

“
…in the early days of Mount Olympus, all the male gods and Titans were falling over themselves for Hera.”

Hera:
Hera’s tree of golden apples

“She sent an immortal dragon named Ladon to guard the tree…”

Hera:
Ixion’s punishment

“Zeus called for a spare chariot wheel and strapped Ixion to the spokes, stretching the limbs so tight, they were about to snap.”

Hades:
Hades

“
…Hades was kind of a gloomy dude…so you could argue that he was destined to hang out underground.”

Hades:
The five rivers of the Underworld

The Cocytus, the River of Wailing

“Just being near it would send you into a state of depression.”

The Phlegethon, the River of Fire

“It roared through the Underworld caverns like a torrent of burning gasoline…”

The Acheron, the River of Pain

“…it widened into a dark, steamy, swampy expanse that caused pain to anyone unlucky enough to touch its waters or even
hear
its current.”

The Lethe, the River of Forgetfulness

“A single drop of Lethe water would wipe your short-term memory.”

The Styx, the River of Hate

“Mix sulfuric acid with sewage and a splash of liquid hatred, and you’ve got the Styx.”

Hades:
Tantalus’s punishment

“Each time, Tantalus was
sure
he would score a piece of fruit, but he never could.”

Poseidon:
Poseidon

“He liked the beach. He liked swimming. He liked seafood.”

Poseidon:
Poseidon creating horses

“He pointed his trident, and the waves began to take shape.”

Poseidon:
Theophane meets Poseidon

“The ram winked. ‘You like my new wool coat? Because I like
ewe
. Get it?
Ewe
?
’
”

Zeus:
Zeus

“…Zeus was the god of law and order.”

Zeus:
Zeus wipes the city of Salmonea off the map

“…when the lightning bolts started coming down, most of the mortals were blown to bits or buried under the rubble.”

Zeus:
The satyr god Aegipan soothes the storm giant Typhoeus

“
‘I like your music,’ Typhoeus decided. ‘I may not kill you.
’
”

Athena:
Athena

“
‘I’ll oversee the sort of combat that requires planning, craftiness, and high intelligence.
’
”

Athena:
Zeus distracts the nymph Pallas while she is sparring with Athena

“The bronzed face of Medusa startled the nymph.”

Athena:
Arachne

“She changed Arachne into a spider, and from then on, Arachne and her children have continued to weave webs.”

Aphrodite:
Aphrodite

“If you saw her and she wanted you to love her, you would.”

Aphrodite:
Pandora pulls the cork

“
‘I have to see what’s inside,’ she muttered. ‘Oh, this is going to be awesome!
’
”

Ares:
Ares

“If bullies, gangsters, and thugs prayed to a god, they’d pray to Ares.”

Ares:
One of Ares’s gifts to Aeetes, king of Colchis

“Then Aeetes would go to the special Field of Ares and plant the teeth to get himself a fresh crop of skeletal soldiers whenever he needed some.”

Hephaestus:
Hephaestus

“He was born so ugly that his loving mother Hera tossed him off Mount Olympus….”

Hephaestus:
Ares confronting his brother Hephaestus

“They burst into the courtyard of Hephaestus’s blacksmith shop, where the crippled god was repairing a teapot.”

Apollo:
Apollo

“
‘My name’s Apollo, and I need a bow and arrows, stat! Also, a musical instrument would be good.
’
”

Apollo:
Apollo avenges his mother by killing the giant snake Python

“Apollo drew his bow and shot the snake between the eyes.”

Artemis:
Artemis

“She wanted to roam the world and hunt dangerous creatures, and she
definitely
never wanted to get pregnant.”

Artemis:
Artemis summons a giant wild boar

“He was, in short, the Death Pig.”

Artemis:
Gaea punishes the giant Orion for overhunting

“Just behind Orion, a massive scorpion emerged from a fissure in the ground.”

Hermes:
Hermes

“He was Zeus’s personal FedEx service, carrying his boss’s messages all around the globe….”

Hermes:
Baby Hermes steals Apollo’s cows

“He managed to separate the herd, shooing fifty of the fattest, juiciest cows away from the rest.”

Dionysus:
Dionysus

“…Dionysus became popular for his magic tricks with plants.”

Dionysus:
The satyr Ampelos retrieving a vine for his friend Dionysus

“Dionysus reached up and grabbed the vine.”

Dionysus:
Dionysus is captured by pirates

“Grapevines sprouted from the deck and crawled up the mast.”

Afterword:
Percy Jackson

BACKGROUND READING

BOOKS:

The Aeneid
, Virgil, Robert Fagles, trans., Penguin Classics, 2008

Apollodorus’ Library and Hyginus’ Fabulae
, Hackett Publishing Co., 2007

The Argonautica
, Apollonius of Rhodes, Oxford University Press, 2009

Dictionary of Greek and Roman Biography and Mythology
, William Smith, ed., Tauris & Co. Ltd., 2007

Dionysiaca
, Nonnus, Harvard University Press, 1984

The Iliad
, Homer, Robert Fagles, trans., Penguin Classics, 1997

Metamorphoses: A New Translation
, Ovid, W.W. Norton, 2005

The Odyssey
, Homer, Robert Fagles, trans., Penguin Classics, 1997

Theogony & Work and Days
, Hesiod, Focus Classical Library, 2008

WEB SITES:

Encyclopedia Mythica:
www.pantheon.org

Perseus Digital Library:
www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper

Theoi:
www.theoi.com

The illustrations for this book were created using graphite on paper, then colored digitally using various stains and textures
.