Penguins of Madagascar Movie Novelization (8 page)

Skipper began the Plan-off by sketching a simple submarine shape in the sand.

“Here's Dave's sub,” he said, and then moved a small rock inside the sub. “And this young, helpless, vulnerable rock is Private.”

Kowalski and Rico waddled over with a pine­apple made up to look like Octavius Brine.

“And here's Dave,” Skipper said. “While you four dih-vert the octopi, we strike fast and strike hard.”

He attacked the pineapple with punches and kicks.

“Heeeiiiiyeeeaah!” he cried. “Get on in here,
boys. Slap him silly, Rico, come on!”

Kowalski and Rico joined in.

“Kowalski, free the hostages!” Skipper yelled.

Corporal got into the spirit too. The polar bear smashed the pineapple with his big fist.

“Now that's what I'm talking about, big fella,” Skipper praised him.

Classified glared at Corporal, who jumped back into position.

“With Private freshly liberated, we celebrate with a well-earned high-one and a feast of Dave's sweet remains. Any questions?” Skipper asked.

The penguins cheered and slapped flippers.

Classified clapped slowly.

“Wow, I mean, truly impressive,” he said, his voice thick with sarcasm. “Especially the bit where you slap the fruit. Oh!”

He turned to his team. “Corporal, dim the lights. Short Fuse, glasses.”

Corporal snuffed out their campfire while Short Fuse handed 3-D glasses to everyone. Classified dropped a cube onto the sand. It instantly
transformed into a holographic 3-D dome that surrounded them with maps, charts, and graphs.

Kowalski was impressed. “Ooh!”

So was Rico. “Whoaa!”

Skipper, frowning, refused to be impressed.

Exciting music played, and the image of Dave's sub popped up on the dome.

“My apologies, had to rush a bit, the schematic's a little crude,” Classified said. “At twenty-one fifty, Skipper, Kowalski, and Richard, is it?—will die-vert the octopi away from their posts.”

The hologram showed octopi guarding the outside of the sub. They disappeared one by one as Classified explained his plan.

“At twenty-two hundred, Short Fuse breaches the hull with a swarm of self-guided underwater nanocharges,” Classified went on as Kowalski and Rico watched, entranced.

In the hologram, an image of Short Fuse swam up to the sub and fired a burst of tiny pellets at it. They spiraled in and attached themselves to the sub's spinning propulsion system. One by one the
pellets exploded, damaging the propulsion and creating an opening in the hull.

“I call them Wet Booms,” Short Fuse said proudly.

“Yes, please don't,” said Classified.

Short Fuse nodded. “Okay, sorry, sorry.”

“At zero-nine-zero-two, knock-knock,” Classified went on.

“Who's there?” asked Corporal.

“The North Wind,” replied Classified.

“The North Wind, who?” Corporal asked.

“The North Wind who doesn't have time for knock-knock jokes because we're too busy taking down Dave,” Classified said with a satisfied grin.

Skipper's eyes were glazing over. Sure, Classified's plan had a bunch of fancy stuff, but that didn't mean it was better than their pineapple plan, was it?

Classified gleefully went over their available equipment. “Personal hovertank? Check. Auto-targeting wing mounts? Why not? Oh, and what's this?”

Skipper tuned out completely as Classified blabbed on and on, explaining exactly how they
were going to take down Dave and rescue the penguins.

“At twenty-two-zero-nine, mission accomplished!” Classified finished.

Boom!
The submarine in the hologram exploded. An image of Agent Classified appeared, walking out of the wreckage unharmed and dragging Dave behind him.

“See that? I don't even look back,” Classified bragged. “There's a huge explosion, and I just keep walking.”

The hologram zipped back into the cube. There was a stunned silence as the North Wind broke into applause. Kowalski and Rico's minds were blown.

“Way to go, boss!” cheered Short Fuse. “That's North Wind, sucker!”

“Nicely done,” added Corporal.

Skipper saw the doubt in Kowalski and Rico's eyes. He stepped forward.

“Well, la-di-da, blah blah blah,” he said. “A good plan is about more than effecty stuff and vocabulary words.”

“Oh, and you, you certainly know a good plan,” said Classified, sarcastically again. “I mean, your operation in Shanghai allowed Dave to escape with your boy.”

His words felt like a punch in the gut to Skipper.

“I've never lost a member of my team,” Classified went on. “It must feel awful. Can't imagine the guilt, the regret. The feeling that, I don't know, it should have been you.”

Skipper's heart broke at that moment. He looked down at the sand, at his sketch of the sub with the poor little rock representing Private trapped inside. He had a mental image of Private, who smiled up at him, so trusting.

“All for penguin plan?” Eva asked.

Loyal to the end, Kowalski and Rico raised their flippers.

“All for North Wind plan?” Eva asked.

Classified's team raised a wing, a flipper, and a paw—and Skipper raised his flipper too!

“His,” Skipper said, beaten. “His is better.”

“What?” Kowalski asked, and Rico looked upset.

“Sorry, boys, but I can't lead you this time,” Skipper said.

“But . . . we're a team,” Kowalski said. “And you're our skipper, Skipper. We don't need these guys.”

Skipper shook his head. “No, Kowalski. But Private does. I think this time we leave it to the professionals.”

“But, sir—” Kowalski protested.

Skipper held up a flipper to stop him. “It's settled. We take orders from Agent Classified now.”

Rico's eyes teared up.

“That's an order, Rico,” Skipper said.

He turned away to hide his true feelings. Skipper was devastated. He hated to turn things over to Agent Classified. But in his heart, he felt like it was the best thing to do for Private. He took a deep breath and turned to face his fluffy new commander.

“All right, Classified. What's the diversion?” Skipper asked.

Classified grinned. Wait till the penguins found out what was in store. . . .

Later that night, Skipper, Kowalski,
and Rico waddled up to the octopi guarding the sub. The penguins were wearing lederhosen, short pants with suspenders. Skipper held an accordion. All three of them smiled goofily.

They lined up, just as they had been instructed.

Skipper was mortified. “We never tell a soul we did this. We take this shame to our graves,” Skipper told his crew, through a clenched beak.

“Agreed,” said Kowalski.

Then Skipper started playing the accordion, and the three penguins launched into a German folk
dance. The octopi stared curiously at the penguins at first. Then they started clapping to the music. Kowalski and Rico slapped each other's flippers as part of the dance, and the henchmen copied them.

The penguins danced their way down the dock, away from the submarine and into the surrounding jungle. Transfixed by the music and dancing, the henchmen followed them.

Below the pier, the North Wind agents waited for the guards to clear out.

“Time?” Classified asked Eva.

“Twenty-two hundred hours,” she replied.

Classified nodded. “Time to take down Dave.”

The agents burst out of hiding, dressed in all their high-tech gear. They entered the sub, using electrical charges and lasers to burst through door after door. Corporal gave a big polar bear punch to any guard that stood in their way.

The four North Wind agents stopped in front of Dave's captain's chair and trained their weapons on him.

“Dave the octopus!” Agent Classified shouted. “Show me your tentacles!”

Dave casually swung around in his chair and raised his tentacles.

“All of them,” Classified ordered.

Slam!
Dozens of octopus henchmen dropped from above, smashing the North Wind agents underneath them.

•  •  •

Back in the jungle, the octopus guards frantically searched for the adorable penguin folk dancers. Where had they gone?

After they disappeared into the forest, Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico dropped down from a tree branch, sitting on the accordion.

“We lost them, Skipper,” Kowalski noted.

“And not a moment too soon,” Skipper said, hoisting up his lederhosen. “These hosen are riding up in my Bundesliga.”

They hopped down from the accordion. Kowalski picked up Rico and planted him upside down in the dirt. Then he studied the shadow Rico cast under the moonlight.

“Classified should be walking away from a huge
explosion with Private on his shoulder in three . . . two. . . . Give him a welcome home, Rico!” Skipper said.

Rico leaned his head back and hocked up fireworks that exploded in the air above them. But there was no sign of Private or the North Wind.

“Um, the sub didn't explode. I fear the fireworks may have been a tactical mistake,” Kowalski said.

Wham!
A horde of octopus henchmen dropped down upon the penguins.

By the time the penguins realized what was happening, they found themselves in a cage being wheeled through Dave's submarine. Behind them, octopi pushed a cage holding the four North Wind agents.

“Remain calm! Do not panic! We will still win!” Short Fuse cried. Then he started to lose it. The poor little guy was bawling hard.

Kowalski reached through the bars to touch Eva. Her head spun around to look at him. All the fire was gone from her eyes.

“Eva! I know,” Kowalski said sympathetically.

Agent Classified turned his head away. He felt just as bad as the others, but he wasn't about to show it.

Inside, though, the truth hurt.

For the first time, he had failed.

Dave gasped in mock surprise
as his henchmen wheeled the penguin cage before him.

“Welcome! Skipper, Kowalski, and rootin-tootin' Rico!” he said. “The gang's all here! The mood is electric! Is that really finally everybody?”

His henchman Nicholas filled in the last portion of their penguin chart. All of the octopi let out a garbled cheer.

Skipper gripped the bars of the cage. “All right, Dave. Just what have you done with—”

Before he could finish, Dave slipped around a metal table with Private strapped to it.

“Private!” Skipper cried.

“Guys!” Private cheered. “You're in for it now, Dave!”

“Really?” Dave asked. He turned the ray toward Private. It was loaded with Medusa Serum.

“Now, who's ready to move into live penguin testing?” Dave asked.

“You move that death ray away from Private right now!” Skipper yelled.

“It's not a death ray, Skipper!” Private called out. “He's gonna turn us into monsters!”

Dave nodded. “Yepper-doo!”

“Skipper!” Private cried.

Skipper was horrified. “You can't take away Private's cuteness!”

“He's the cute one! That's his thing!” Kowalski said.

Rico nodded.

“What?” Private asked.

“It's all the little guy's got!” Skipper went on.

Private sighed. Is that really all his team thought of him? That all he could do was be cute?

Looking sad made him even more adorable.

“Hmm, you are supercute,” Dave said, eyeing him. “We'd better crank this up.”

He nodded to two henchmen.

“Drew, Barry, more power!” he commanded.

They quickly worked on the machine, and it hummed louder.

“Skipper?” Private asked nervously. “Any time now. . . .”

Skipper looked at Dave. “Your plan is insane! Do you really think any of this is going to make people love you?”