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Authors: Brag!: The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It

Tags: #BUS012000, #Interpersonal Relations, #Psychology, #Business & Economics, #General

BOOK: Peggy Klaus
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Kimberly, a twenty-eight-year-old computer analyst, is a perfect example of a winger. I had just finished coaching her for an upcoming trade speech when she dropped the bomb that her performance review was scheduled in two days and, by the way, could we spend the final fifteen minutes of our session getting her ready for it? Okey-dokey, I thought, this was going to require some speed-talking on my part. “What are three things you’ve accomplished since your last performance review and what are your key goals for the next six months?” I asked.

Usually a chatterbox, Kimberly was speechless—not a good sign. Apparently she hadn’t given the review a single moment’s thought until now. I continued, “Name three ways that you have improved the company’s bottom line, either through increased revenues or savings.”

Uh-oh, now she was in deer-caught-in-the-headlights mode. I added, thinking that if I asked enough questions I might hit an answer, “What are some examples of positive client feedback, either written or verbal, that reflect on your contributions?”

“Ah-ha,” she said. “The Olsen account manager said I had single-handedly saved the project.”

“Do you have that in writing?” I asked.

“No,” she responded, “but I’ll call the account manager today and see if she’ll e-mail a note describing my contributions.” Now she was finally waking up.

“Kimberly, what do you want to walk out of your review with—a better title, a new job description, more staff, a bigger office, more money?”

She smiled and said, “I hope, at a minimum, they’ll increase my salary. I’ve been putting in a lot of extra hours!”

Hope, I told her, wasn’t going to carry her performance appraisal or ensure a fatter paycheck, but better preparation would.

The preliminary work is critical to a successful performance appraisal; so is how well you communicate and interact with your manager. Create and rehearse a conversational bragologue that sums up your positive contributions, including concrete examples of your strengths. Get ready for the zingers, those questions that can throw you off-balance, such as, “In what area do you need the most improvement?” Recognize that it takes time to get ready for a performance review. Treat it as one of the most important moments in your career—with the same level of attention and enthusiasm you gave to landing the job in the first place.

STICK TO YOUR GUNS

“I was all ready to ask for a raise and promotion, but I lost my nerve.

Your bragologues are ready, you’re raring to go, you sit down at your performance review, and what happens? Your boss cuts you off, your review gets sidetracked, and before you know it, you are scratching your head wondering why that carefully planned bragging campaign never got off the ground.

Andy, a young associate in private banking, was looking forward to his performance review. He had had a stellar year and was exceeding his previous numbers, despite the recession. He had all his bragging ducks in a row, ready to fire away, but he never got off the first shot.

His boss opened the performance review by saying, “Andy, you have done a good job this year. As you know, however, this has been a tough year in the financial markets. I’ve just come from a meeting, where word is that bonuses will be off about forty percent. And we aren’t out of the woods yet. We are probably going to go through another round of layoffs.”

Suddenly Andy stopped thinking about the bonus and promotion he had spent hours preparing to ask for, and started thinking how lucky he felt to even have a job. Asking for a promotion at that moment, much less a raise, seemed not only self-centered but also pointless. Instead of rolling out his carefully planned bragologues about client satisfaction, new business won, professional development, the VP title, and his bonus, Andy spent the rest of his performance review talking about what was on his boss’ mind. Wasn’t it better, he thought, to be a team player and use the time to schmooze with her about the division’s survival, than to selfishly talk about his personal situation?

A few hours later, as Andy was looking back at his so-called review, the whole experience began to gnaw at him. He found himself becoming increasingly upset at having been denied the opportunity to be heard. I was glad we worked together soon after this happened because we were able to channel Andy’s resentment. I advised him to immediately make another appointment to see his boss, explaining to her that he wanted to discuss a few things they hadn’t had a chance to cover at the performance review. Andy agreed to call the boss, rather than wait the six months until his next review date, and they scheduled a meeting for the following week. Andy was nervous! So we practiced his opening bragologue to increase his comfort level and an inner monologue to increase his sense of urgency. As he walked from his desk to the boss’ office on the day of the follow-up review, he repeatedly ran the inner monologue through his mind: “I can’t wait to tell you about all the exciting things that have been happening!” And when he reached her office, this is what he said:

I know the firm is suffering, and everyone is going to take a hit, but I feel really good about
my
business and how my hard work over the last three years is finally paying off. This year, I was able to bring in my two largest clients after a year and a half of nurturing the deals. My revenues are
up
twenty percent, which is great at any time, and even more so now that most bankers’ are
down
thirty percent. Also, I really took your advice at my last performance review to heart and have become more active in the firm. I have organized monthly breakfasts for our business referrals so that they can learn about our new products, which has been very well received. Deborah, the division head, just sent me an e-mail thanking me for my efforts. For all of these reasons, I think I am ready for the vice-president title and would like to see a bonus that reflects my accomplishments, despite the dismal state of affairs.

Andy’s boss asked some follow-up questions, which he was well prepared to answer. Two months later, when the rest of Andy’s team got a mere 40 percent of last year’s bonus, Andy’s was reduced only 10 percent. Not bad for a recession. And about four months later, he was named VP.

LEARN HOW TO ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS

“Oh, it was really nothing.”

“You did a nice job organizing the seminar last fall,” said Barbara’s boss as he looked over her written self-evaluation in her performance review.

“Don’t mention it,” she replied.

“I thought it was remarkable that we got the chief economist from Tampa to fly in for it,” her boss continued.

“My stars were aligned that day. He was going to be in the area anyway that week,” Barbara said, her words followed by a girlish giggle.

“I think it’s one of the best conferences we’ve given to the group in three years,” added her boss.

“Do you really think so?” she asked, drawing into question her own self-worth and accomplishments.

“I wouldn’t be saying so if I didn’t think so,” her boss responded, a bit perturbed with Barbara’s coyness.

I don’t know which people shy away from more: criticism or compliments. The next time you give someone a compliment, watch his reaction. Rarely does he take it in, absorb the meaning, and answer fully, “Thank you, I really appreciate your saying that,” or “Thank you, that means a lot coming from you.” Instead he guffaws, clears his throat, shuffles his feet, hangs his head, or childishly giggles. Then more often than not, he proceeds to minimize or deny the compliment or chalk it up to being lucky. Women especially are notorious for deflecting compliments, even going so far as to turn a compliment around to insult themselves. For example, how many times have you heard someone tell a woman, “You look great,” only to hear in response, “Really? I’d look better if only I could lose another ten pounds!”

In performance reviews it’s important to turn compliments into launching pads for underscoring your hard work and aspirations. This is what Barbara could have said in response to her boss’ positive feedback:

Boss: You did a nice job organizing the seminar last fall.

Barbara: Thank you. I’m glad you feel that way, because it’s the feedback everyone else has given me as well. In fact, I brought along some of the letters of thanks we received from the clients who are already eager for next year’s conference. And even though the next conference is six months away, it’s already sixty percent booked!

Boss: I thought it was quite remarkable that we got the chief economist from Tampa to fly in for it.

Barbara: I know. I was really pleased that he was able to do it. But it wasn’t a surprise! For the last couple of years, I’ve gone out of my way to develop a relationship with him, knowing how important it is to have good speakers. In fact, I’ve already lined up some of the top experts in the automotive field for our upcoming event in Detroit.

Boss: I think it’s one of the best conferences we’ve given to the group in three years.

Barbara: Me too! I wasn’t so sure when I got Dick’s message saying he was snowed in at Denver and couldn’t make the opening-day panel, but then everyone else we had was so impressive it didn’t matter. From that point on, I knew it was going to be great. So with this now fresh in our minds, I’d like you to consider letting me handle the conference in Asia. I know it’s the company’s largest event, but I assisted on it last year and I’m sure I can make it a great success.

Embracing a compliment is akin to learning how to feel comfortable bragging about yourself. Accepting a compliment doesn’t mean you’re conceited; rather, it means you have a healthy self-image and are a valuable person who deserves credit. Throwing a compliment back makes the sender feel uncomfortable and wonder why she had even bothered. Deflecting a compliment by reducing or denying it makes the sender far less likely to throw one your way again. An effective self-promoter accepts a compliment graciously, often by looking the complimenter in the eye while simply saying “Thank you” with a smile. If the situation permits, you will also use it as a springboard to sincerely showcase the hard work that went into reaching your goals. Don’t giggle a compliment away; smile it in.

BRAG ABOUT THE RIGHT STUFF

“He told me everything great he had accomplished since the last review, but none of it was part of his actual job.”

“I spent major time with the IT department, helping them get some of the bugs out of our new software upgrade,” said Jerry to his boss, suggesting that without his input the $200,000 upgrade would have gone up in smoke.

“I organized the company’s softball team this year, and as you know, we won the league championship for the first time ever,” Jerry added later, giving his boss a blow-by-blow description of the championship game.

“I really helped some of the others over rough spots in their assignments,” Jerry said, revealing that he had completely opened up his Rolodex, sharing his sources on some key stories.

These bragologues would be perfectly acceptable except for a few important facts: Jerry is a journalist for a national trade publication. His main responsibility is to report on the construction and building sector. This discussion is taking place during his annual performance review, and he’s tooting his horn about everything except what he has accomplished as it relates to his position and responsibilities.

The strangest thing about this story is that Jerry actually has a lot to brag about when it comes to his core job achievements. According to his boss, the senior editor, who approached me about improving the company’s employee appraisal process, “Jerry has scooped the competition on several occasions. He landed exclusive interviews with some of the key players in our sector. But instead of talking about those accomplishments or his plans for the future, Jerry blabbed on and on about his peripheral deeds. I didn’t want to insult him by interrupting, so I stayed the course. But before I knew it, our forty-five minutes were up.”

Jerry would have been far more effective in his performance review had he first crafted a bragologue to address the basics. He could have said, “Since my last review, one of the key goals has been for the magazine to become number one in the design-build trade, and I’ve pushed the envelope on the editorial side to do this. I’m not only all over a story when it breaks, like with my reporting of the Sinchaw debacle, but also way ahead of the curve, which you saw with my story on the controversial industrial park.”

Even in a performance review, you need to be strategic about what you brag about and to prioritize your accomplishments. While it’s fine to toot about the extras you do on the side, don’t forget to cover your “mission critical” accomplishments: how you have succeeded in the job you were hired to do, how you have contributed to the goals of your boss and the company, and how you have addressed any concerns raised in your last performance review.

HELP YOUR BOSS SEE THE FOREST THROUGH THE TREES

“He was stuck on these two little things and it drove me nuts.”

Six months ago you saved the day with a brilliant idea for a new advertising campaign. Three months ago you worked weekends gathering information for a new business pitch, a multimillion-dollar account the company landed. But all your manager can remember is this: For the last two weeks you’ve been late getting into the office. It’s true you’ve never been the most punctual person, and the last two weeks have been worse than usual.

So how do you keep your cool and go on to remind your boss of what you’ve done during the rest of the year? One of the purposes of filling up your brag bag before a performance review is to boost your confidence so you’ll be able to take criticism without wilting. If you fire back with denials or interrupt with a lot of “but this-but that,” the situation is likely to escalate into a shouting match.

The best way to respond to performance review criticisms is to acknowledge each shortcoming with a reminder of your strengths. For example, Susan, an assistant account executive in advertising, who had been late the last few weeks, replied, “Yes, I have been late recently and I apologize for any inconvenience it may have caused. I’m a new parent and went through a change in my daycare situation, but now things are ironed out. For the most part, though, I have always been available at the flip of a switch and completely committed to our work. As you may recall, during my pregnancy leave I worked several weekends to help with that new business pitch when you were short on staff. It paid off. Our campaign was brilliant and strategically well-positioned.”

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