Pegasi and Prefects (4 page)

“Come in, Charlotte.” Miss Carroll’s beautifully modulated voice sounds in my left ear, although the door is still closed. Of course, knocking softly wouldn’t have hidden my presence. Miss Carroll is a Sensitive, someone who is magically attuned to the personalities and thoughts around her, much like Cecily is, but about twenty times as strong. It’s a common gift in leaders and teachers, and it makes it impossible to get anything past her.

Me, I am about as unSensitive as you can get, at least when it comes to humans. I find it hard enough to tell when Esther is joking, let alone sense a presence outside a closed door. I can read a unicorn or a fairy, but people? No chance.

I open the door and try to step inside with a firm step, chin lifted, shoulders squared. As if you could fool a Sensitive. Maybe I fool myself, at least a little, because I make it to in front of Miss Carroll’s desk in one piece, and even return her smile.

“Sit down, dear.”

I gratefully take a seat. Standing in front of a mistress, especially with a guilty conscience, always puts you in the wrong, somehow. It’s like being in the lower forms and being called in the night after your midnight feast left rather more crumbs in the dormitory than you planned.

“I have a special reason for calling you here, Charlotte.” Miss Carroll glances down at the table, and I follow her gaze. I can hardly believe what I see. A Senior Prefect badge—and next to it, the small golden tie pin that Cecily wore next to her own Senior Prefect badge and her Colours all last year.

The Games Captain pin.

I don’t say anything. I’m too confused. I’m conscious of a mad rush of pride and on top of it, absolute horror. What do I know about being a games captain? I’ve only ever been a solid member of the team, not brilliant like Esther or like Corona Smith from the West Wing. I have my Colours, that’s enough. And as for Senior Prefect, when I wasn’t any great shakes as a regular run-of-the-mill prefect in the Fifth.  .  . 

I don’t want either badge. I don’t want to spend my free hours watching practice, or overseeing prep. and making sure the first formers don’t chatter after lights out. I want this last year, my last precious year at school, to be precisely like the year before. I want to go to Briar Stables every time I can escape, and work on my goal shooting, and learn to do jigsaw puzzles at last. It’s flattering, so flattering that I can hardly believe it, but I can feel all my time for riding or walking or just doing nothing being sucked into those two little badges.

Miss Carroll’s eyes crinkle a little at the corners, and I know she can tell, or feel, exactly what I’m thinking.

“Senior Prefect is a position of some importance in this school. In a way, Games Captain is even more so. The younger girls look up to the Games Captain even more than they do to the Head Girl in a way. A healthy amount of hero worship, in fact, that can inspire girls to strive to greater lengths and become more disciplined for the sake of their health and the school.” I look down at my hands. They are sunburned still from a summer spent mostly outdoors. My nails are broken, which always annoys the mistresses. Fernleigh girls are expected to be well-groomed at all times, and I can never quite carry it off. It’s enough of an undertaking to keep my tie properly knotted and straight half of the time. Perhaps a Games Captain tie pin would actually help with that.

“Both as Prefect and as Games Captain, a girl has an opportunity to be a very good influence. Especially a girl as admired by the lower forms as you are.”

I look up again, to search Miss Carroll’s face. She’s smiling still, more gently now, as if tolerantly amused at my astonishment. I’ve never thought of myself as someone the kids are particularly keen on. Of course, I try to be decent to them, but I never have much time to spare for coaching them or listening to all their little troubles, like Cecily does. I’ve always had Ember to think about.

“I’m quite aware that you’ve never tried to use your popularity to your advantage. More to the point, you’ve never tried to use it to theirs.”

My tie feels uncomfortably tight, somehow. I resist the urge to loosen it as Miss Carroll continues serenely on. “I had planned to give you these badges almost immediately on your return to school, after I had spoken to Cecily about other duties. Matters are, unfortunately, not as I expected. Charlotte, what I need to ask you now is: do you think these responsibilities should be given to someone who flagrantly disregards the rules on her very first day back? Is that the kind of example we want to be setting for your juniors?”

My face burns, but I try to meet her eyes steadily. “No,” I say, but my hands are tightening on each other. Somehow, being found unworthy of the honors is a different thing entirely to not wanting them in the first place. Still, perhaps it’s for the best.

Miss Carroll nods, slowly. “Take the badges.”

I bite my lip. “Miss Carroll?”

She leans back in her seat, her lean form graceful. “I know you don’t particularly want them, Charlotte. But I don’t think that your feelings are due primary consideration in this case. I have to think of what is good for Fernleigh Manor. A popular schoolgirl like yourself, with so much influence, going her merry way with consideration for no one else is not in the least good for the school.” This time I really do fiddle with my tie, the tie that will soon be held with golden badge. “A different kind of Charley, taking her responsibilities seriously and helping the younger ones, might be a very good thing indeed for Fernleigh Manor.”

I reach forward and pick up the badges. “I’ll try.” My voice shakes a little, and my heart is heavy with dread.

“I will hold you to your word. My dear, I want you to understand that I am not just sacrificing your fun to the good of the school. You’ve had a lot of fun here, haven’t you?” I flash her a grin, feeling a little better. “This is for your sake too, Charlotte. I’ve spoken to your mistresses—and to your new Head Girl, too. They all share the same opinion of you. They say there is a lot of good stuff in you—kindness, decency, a loyal nature. But they also say you can be self-centred and lazy. And I must say it fully accords with my estimation of your character.”

My grin fades. The mistresses are one thing. That Cecily, with her generous nature, one of the closest friends that I have in this place, feels the same way about me stings like a wasp.

“Isn’t it selfish and dishonest,” Miss Carol continues remorselessly, “to go your own way, without thinking first of how it affects your schoolmates? To never use your influence for the good of the younger ones? To keep yourself to yourself, instead of reaching out in friendship to those who might need it? To take the expensive education your parents have provided you with, and never study as hard as you might, or play as hard as you might, or take full advantage of the other lessons we have to offer?”

It is taking a real effort to meet her cool hazel gaze fully. Part of me just wants to turn tail and flee the room. The other part wants to argue back. Instead, I sit quietly, and listen.

“I pride myself that my girls here don’t just come away with balanced education and a sense of responsibility in using her magic. My hope is that each of you goes away stronger and with deeper foundations than when she came to me. I pride myself that Fernleigh Manor turns out good, dependable, womanly young ladies, with fine characters, who have learned and grown from their time here. You, Charlotte, I don’t think have grown as much as I would have hoped.” She smiles again, suddenly, sweetly, looking younger and very loving. She reaches across the desk and lays a hand on mine. “This year, I have faith you will fulfill my hopes.”

“I’ll try,” I say again, but with more determination this time.

Miss Carroll smiles. “You won’t let me down, my dear. If I didn’t believe that, I never would have offered you the badges.”

It sounds like a dismissal. I climb to my feet, awkwardly, but Miss Carroll stops me.

“One more thing, my dear. I’ve decided that you share a study with a girl new to this school, Diana. Have you met, yet?” I shake my head. “I think Diana, of all girls, could benefit from your influence the most. It might take her some time to become accustomed to the standards of the school. I want you to make a special effort to put your own prejudices aside, and try to be a good friend to her. Do I have your word?”

“Of course.” I shift my weight from one leg to the other, wanting to ask why we have two new girls in our very last form, why she thinks it is so important that I befriend this new girl.

Miss Carroll inclines her grey head in dismissal. “You may go, dear.”

I take my questions, and the shining little badges, with me.

I’ve hardly made it through the door into Blue Dormitory when Cecily and Esther are on me, thumping my back so hard it knocks the breath out of me.

“Steady on!” I put up my hands in protest.

“Shot, our Charley!” Gladys shouts across the room, and her cousin Frances echoes her. I feel an unexpected little flicker of warmth. It’s nice that they are happy for me, even if I’m not entirely sure I’m happy for myself. Gladys, I notice, has a new Senior Prefect badge on her collar, as well. The new girl is looking curiously across at me, no doubt wondering what all the fuss is.

Esther yanks at one of my curls. “We expect the school to win absolutely everything and for you to be a paragon of virtue, do you hear?” She’s grinning at me, without any hint of oddness from earlier. I relax a little, and turn on Cecily.

“You already knew and told everyone, didn’t you?” I fiddle self-consciously with the pins in my hand. “Is it fair that I’m the last to know?” I try hard to sound aggrieved.

“You have no idea how hard it was not to tell you, especially when you were slinking off like a beaten dog. I wanted to let you hear it from Miss Carroll.” She beamed at me, her face glowing. “You have no idea how glad I am to have you as Games Captain, old thing. It’s no joke, being Head Girl, especially this year.”

“Why this year?”

Cecily tugs on my arm, and the three of us collapse on her bed.

“Miss Carroll told me that there’s going to be a School Banner this year. Games, distinctions at exams, and general conduct.” I looked curiously at Cecily. Her expression is animated, as if she’s was telling me something of great significance, but I really don’t understand the drama. I suppose it would be nice to win, but Cecily is looking like it is a matter of life and death. “School House can win it, you know. Esther is going to clean up on the exams, and with you on my side and helping with the babes at games, we can really do it. But I’ll need special help from you and Gladys pulling together to keep the House in line. You know what the Fifth is like this year, and some of the kids coming up into Second.” I nod. The Fifth—that is, last term’s Upper Fourth—are a lot of holy terrors. Kitty of the pointed ears and blue blood is the worst of them, and the others follow her around like puppies learning naughty tricks from a little boy.

I look into Cecily’s sparkling eyes. She’s tall, and solidly built—not pretty, exactly, but she looks dependable and kind. A Head Girl, and a friend, of whom to be proud. I still can’t quite understand why a silly school banner is so important to her, but I remember what Miss Carroll said about selfishness, and I find myself nodding. “We’ll win it for you, Cissy.”

She gives me one of her blindingly sweet smiles. “I know you will. But take it seriously, Charley. You’re a Senior Pre—your conduct is going to be awfully important.”

“Hullo, girls!” Valerie, the last missing member of Blue Dormitory, comes into the room. She’s tightly arm-in-arm with another stranger. The second new girl, the one deputed to be my friend, I suppose. I take her in with some curiosity.

A good figure, rather too good for a schoolgirl—I fleetingly wonder if her underthings are strictly regulation, and what Matron will say if they’re not—and auburn hair in immaculate waves around a sulky looking face. Somehow, she’s not what I expected. I was prepared for something a little more spectacular, based on Esther’s account of her. If anything, both Esther and fluffy little Valerie, the acknowledged beauties of the form, are much better looking. This just looks like an ordinary, reasonably pretty schoolgirl.

“This is Diana,” Valerie says, breathlessly, as if announcing the Queen.

Life is cruel for new girls. I wince at the memory of standing in the doorway meeting a room full of blank stares. This girl, unlike me, takes it in her stride. She looks around her in a kind of appraising way, with none of the shyness proper to a new girl.

Cecily broaches the awkward silence, like the good Head Girl she is. “We’ve met already. Why don’t you settle in, Diana? Your cubicle is between Valerie and Rosalind. I’m sure Val will help you get fixed up.”

Diana gives her an oddly impudent tilt of her immaculate head, and lets Valerie, who is gushingly pleased about sleeping next to her, guide her to her bed and start unpacking her things. There’s a moment’s quiet before everyone simultaneously seems to recall that it’s rude to stare and turns to their own affairs. I start to change out of my riding things, ready for dinner. Cecily and Esther, who are used to looking after me, begin to unpack the trunk at the end of my bed.

“What our beloved Head Girl was trying to tell you before we were so rudely interrupted is that this year, there’s to be no sneaking off. No billing and cooing with your fiery turtledove at unauthorised hours, Charles darling,” Esther says in her lazy drawl, as she folds my towel away. “A necessary sacrifice for the sake of the School Banner and your honour as Games Captain.”

I bite my lip. I hadn’t thought of that. Decidedly I’d been intending to slip off to Briar Stables whenever I got the chance.

“But your name isn’t Charles,” a voice cuts in, sweet and well-modulated and distinctly unfriendly. “It couldn’t be.”