Peach Blossom Pavilion (27 page)

Pearl sucked on a duck's foot, then bit off a piece of webbing and chewed for a while. "When you're used to the life here, married life may not be much better. In place of Mama, De, and the jealous sisters, you have your dictatorial husband, his ugly first wife, and a slew of spiteful concubines. After the loose ways here, it's almost impossible to put up with all the rules in a big Confucian household.

"Some ex-sisters try to behave like decent women-giving up seductive manners and gaudy clothes-forgetting that these are exactly what attracted their customers to redeem them in the first place. So their husbands soon go back to the turquoise pavilions to look for new faces. Without the husband's backing, they're just another out-of-favor concubine, spat on because of their infamous past."

Pearl sighed. "Once you're a whore, you always stay one. Nobody believes that you're faithful to your husband." She spat. "Those chou nanren, they want women to be both saints and sinners!" Some moments passed before she went on, "I also knew a sister who got married, three times, but all her husbands died, so she was forced to replay the pipa. It's so sad." Pearl sipped her wine while looking at me over the rim of her glass. "We can never beat fate, can we?"

But we can play along and make the most out of it.

I remembered my mother's saying but decided to keep it to myself.

Pearl forced a smile onto her face. "Xiang Xiang, why are we talking about all these unpleasant things when we should be celebrating my winning the contest?"

"Then why don't you tell me more about Jiang Mou?"

To my amazement, she blushed. "I like him very much, but too bad he's both poor and married. You know, a woman like me needs a lot of money to maintain," she said, spearing a bit of abalone, putting it into her mouth, and chewing absentmindedly. Her eyes, now blurred by the alcohol, looked like two dreams floating on the sea. On her wrist, the jade bracelet gleamed like a green lizard flitting under moonlight.

I appreciated her for a few seconds before I tentatively asked, "Why do you like him so much?"

Dreamily she went on, "Jiang Mou is very good at pleasing both me and my body. He knows exactly when and what a woman does and doesn't want."

I knew what I wanted-to find my mother and revenge for Baba. But as for my body, I had no idea what it wanted, only what it didn'tto serve any rich, stinky men who decided to visit Peach Blossom.

I blurted out, "My body doesn't want anyone."

Pearl smiled mischievously. "Someday you'll meet someone you truly love; then you'll have a real soul losing."

"What does it feel like?"

"Like strings of firecrackers popping one after another."

A silence. Pearl poured me more wine, then picked up a quail and put it into my bowl. "Let's eat and enjoy our life at this moment." She paused to speak to the empty seat. "Right, Ruby?"

I stared at the seat and felt a jolt. If Ruby's spirit was really here, then where was the yellow butterfly?

I blurted out, "Sister Pearl, where's the butterfly?"

She looked up at me, her pupils now two seasick bugs rolling on a boat. "Don't you worry about that." The gold filigreed butterfly gave out a few mysterious sparks on her hair. "There are many yellow butterflies in the haunted garden."

That night after I'd retired into my room, I flipped and tossed in the bed like a fish sizzling in a wok, painfully alert to the slightest sound. I hoped in the morning to see Pearl's name and pictures on all the front pages of the newspapers, together with poems praising her. Yet I couldn't cast away the ominous feeling in my heart. I prayed to the Guan Yin on my neck chain, then assured myself over and over that nothing would go wrong-Pearl's and my votes combined would surely beat all the other sisters.

I kept alternately tormenting and comforting myself until I fell into a troubled sleep.

18

. Tawoke to a sharp cry slashing the morning air. At first I thought it came from a bad dream, but a moment later I was snapped into reality. I jumped off the bed, flung open the door, and dashed toward Pearl's room.

Plum Blossom cried to my back, "Kill! Kill! "

As I entered, my heart plunged at what I saw.

Pearl, stark naked, had collapsed on the floor. Sheets of newspaper, soaked with blood, lay strewn around her like red good-luck posters turned unlucky. Ah Ping was helping her to sit up.

I dashed toward Pearl but she didn't seem to notice me-her eyes were closed.

Staring at her nudity, I remembered it was a custom for sisters to pray naked in front of the White-Browed God-so he'll be aroused and grant them all their wishes. Pearl must have been praying to win the contest. The blood, I was relieved to realize, was not Pearl's, but chicken blood. Sisters all believe that drinking the crimson liquid protects them from evil spirits.

I turned to Ah Ping. "Aunty Ah Ping, please get something to cover Pearl."

Ah Ping dashed away, then returned to throw a blanket over Pearl.

I lowered my voice and asked the mute woman, "What happened?"

Face streaked with tears, Ah Ping pointed to the newspaper. I picked it up and saw on the front page Red Jade's name as big as eggs and her picture as big as a chicken.

I could hear my sharp voice trembling. "Red jade won the contest?"

Ah Ping nodded.

I read the newspaper again and saw a poem praising her:

I threw down the newspaper. "Liar! Liar!"

Ah Ping picked it up and thrust it under my eyes. I searched the whole page but couldn't find Pearl's name. I couldn't believe what I saw-and what I didn't see. Pearl hadn't won the title of vice president, nor even that of prime minister.

"What happened?" I shouted.

Just then Pearl spoke, her voice faint and ghostly, as if rising from a grave. "Wine, give me some wine."

Ah Ping hurried away. I knelt down and took Pearl's hand. "Sister Pearl . . ." I tried to say something comforting but couldn't utter a word.

Pearl muttered as if talking to herself. "Fate, this is all fate ..

This time I blurted out my mother's saying, "Sister Pearl, we can't beat fate, but we can play along and make the most out of it. Try to be happy."

Pearl jolted upright and screamed into my face. "Try to be happy? How? Are you mocking me?"

Ah Ping was back with a bottle; she waved a hand to calm Pearl.

Pearl stared at her and then me, tears streaming from her eyes, ruining her immaculate makeup. Finally she said, her voice cracked, "That's it; I'm done for."

"No, Sister Pearl ..."

Her eyes, though still glistening, seemed to have lost their power to bewitch. "Xiang Xiang, I promise this will never happen again. Never!"

The way she spat the word "never" almost halted my heartbeat.

A long silence. I said, "Sister Pearl, you can participate in the contest again next time."

She shook her head emphatically. "There won't be any next time."

"Sister Pearl, please don't be pessimistic-"

"You know how long I've been waiting for this? Seven years. Since seven was Ruby's lucky number, I swore to myself I would mourn her for seven years. Finally the seven long years passed and now this. Next year I'll be twenty-four and too old to have any chance. Besides . . ." Before she could finish her sentence, Pearl spat out a dollop of blood.

Ah Ping immediately snatched it up with a handkerchief. Then she made a gesture to boil water and left the room.

Now Pearl looked at me sharply. "You didn't see my name in the newspaper, did you?"

"Sister Pearl, I'm so sorry ..."

"Yes, you should feel sorry, because my name did appear in the newspaper! "

What do you mean? I wanted to ask but swallowed my words. Maybe Pearl had lost both the contest and her mind. If her name was on the newspaper then she should be the winner! Just then Pearl snatched up the newspaper, flipped it to the inside page and thrust it under my eyes.

My jaw dropped. I was so stunned by what I saw.

The name Pearl, as big as two fish heads, appeared right under the heading WEEDS LIST.

To find her name here was so hideous and frightening that I felt my hair stand on end. The poem "Crushed Pearl" forced itself into my eyes:

After I'd finished reading, I burst out crying. "Sister Pearl, it's lies, all lies!"